“Ok, ok, settle down,” she giggles. “There is a way. It’s your only other option. But you won’t like it.”
I look to Dorian, reading the regret on his face. It must be bad. But not worse than losing him. “Anything,” I whisper.
“I can transfer to him. He can breathe me,” she coos wickedly.
“Absolutely not!” Dorian seethes.
“You and I both know there is no other way, Dorian. I am your last hope. Come on, if Gabriella loves you so much, she would understand. She would do anything to save you. I know I would.”
I look at my lover’s torn expression. He knows this is our only option. He is suffering because of me, because of my intense need for him. I have no other choice but to save him.
“Let’s do it. Tonight,” I murmur, hanging my head in shame.
“No, baby, we don’t have to do this. It’s ok,” he pleads, gripping me by the shoulders.
And then I see it; there is a crack in his mirage. For just a second, I see what I have done to him. His eyes are flat, sunken in, lifeless. His skin is pale and dry. He is only a ghost of the man that I love. My heart instantly shatters at the sight.
“Yes we do,” I croak, through trembling lips. I clear my throat and look to Aurora, shrugging out of Dorian’s hold. “We’ll do it. I’ll be over at 7.”
“Great!” she beams. “I’ll even let you watch.” And with that, she spins around and disappears into the crowd.
“You don’t know what you’ve just agreed to,” Dorian whispers. There is pain, remorse in his voice.
“I know that it will save you and that’s all that matters.” I wrap my arms around him and bury my face in his hard chest. I look back up at him and try to plaster on a reassuring smile. “I’ve gotta go. I’ll see you later. Don’t worry, it’s gonna be ok.”
As I walk out to the parking lot, I fight to hold back the tears that threaten to unravel me. I don’t know what I’ve agreed to, but if it saves my Dorian, then I have to go through with it. He needs this, and I need him. If he can defy his father, his entire race of Warlocks, than I can surely give him this. All Aurora is going to do is help him. How bad could it be?
After a painfully awkward early dinner with my parents, I kiss them goodnight, ensuring them that I’ll be back in the morning. I’ve told them a bunch of us new graduates are going out to celebrate though I’m sure they know I’m going to be with Dorian.
As I drive to the Broadmoor, my stomach is tied in a thousand knots. I don’t know what to expect. If he is going to breathe Aurora, what does that consist of? Will he just grab her hand and take a whiff? It must be something more if he was so apprehensive. I could tell he was struggling with the idea yet he knows he needs this. I have to be supportive. He would do it for me if it meant saving my life.
“So glad you could make it, Gabriella,” Aurora leers as she opens the door to Dorian’s suite.
Why the hell is she answering his door? I see she’s changed from the modest wrap dress she wore at the graduation into a tight black pencil skirt, silk button-up blouse and platform high heels.
I step in defensively, preparing myself for the worst. Instead, I find Dorian staring out of the French doors into the dark night. He has a crystal glass of scotch in one hand while his other arm is resting against the glass. He’s weak, and it breaks my heart. He turns on my approach, his eyes glimmering faintly behind dark lashes as he smiles. Even in suffering, he is still the most stunning man I’ve ever seen. He is still wearing his dark dress slacks and shirt from earlier, the top few buttons unfastened exposing his tan chiseled chest. I don’t hesitate to wrap my arms around his neck and kiss him, tasting the strong remnants of alcohol. His arms squeeze my waist desperately in turn. I don’t want to lose him; I can’t. Whatever he needs, I’m more than willing to do what it takes.
“Ok, let’s get this over with. The bedroom would be the best place. Like I said, you’re more than welcome to watch. I’m not shy,” Aurora smiles slyly.
I look to Dorian for direction, and he nods reluctantly. “Fine.”
Aurora sashays to the bedroom and I turn to follow her when Dorian grabs my arm, pulling me back to him. “If I feel you hurting, I’ll try to stop. I swear, I’ll try.”
“I know you will. But you need to get better. That’s all I care about. If it weren’t for me, you wouldn’t even be like this.”
When we enter the dimly lit bedroom, I instantly want to scream for Aurora to get out. This is the place where Dorian has made love to me countless times; this is our sacred place. She has no business in here. But she knows what she’s doing. I don’t. Now more than ever I wish I could fast forward to my ascension. I wish I could let that magic fill me so I could channel it to Dorian. I should be the one healing him. I should be the one saving him.
I take the armchair as Dorian sits on the edge of the foot of the bed. We are facing each other, his expression full of pain, doubt and weariness. This is just as difficult for him. Aurora eclipses my view of him, standing directly in front of him nearly between his legs. I literally bite my tongue and dig my fingernails into my palms to keep from tackling her. This moment isn’t about me or my jealousy. This is about Dorian. And no matter how much I hate Aurora in this moment, I know that she loves him just as much as I do. She is his savior right now.
“Look at me,” she coos in her soft, sensual soprano. She places her hands on his shoulders, beckoning him to meet her gaze.
I hear Dorian sigh deeply before pulling his chin up to meet her eyes with his. The air in the room shifts and begins to shimmer around them. I can hear the hum of a forbidden chant in high pitched soprano, too low for me to make out. Vibrations radiate from their frames, indicating their powerful currents. This is it; Aurora is fixing Dorian. My Dorian. I hear him take in a sharp breath. I can’t tell if it is out of pleasure or surprise. She moves closer into him, nestling between his legs. I want to scream, tell her to get away from him. I want to slap that smug look right off her face. But Dorian needs her; he doesn’t need me. He needs her.
“Stop!” I hear him call out, breaking me from my tortured reverie. He peers around Aurora’s slender body and looks to me with apologetic eyes. “Gabriella. Come,” he breathes with an outstretched hand.
Slowly, I feel myself rise to my feet. I take the seven measured steps to him, grasping his hand weakly. Dorian pulls me down onto the bed next to him. He looks at me, his dazzling eyes searching the hidden pain etched in my face. He knows how I feel; my emotions are his emotions. But I’ve been swallowing the torment that threatens to eat me alive ever since we stepped into this room. I’ve been dispelling my agony so he can get better without worrying about me.
After I flash him a reassuring, yet manufactured, smile, he turns back to Aurora and nods, signaling her to continue. She sighs agitatedly at my intrusion, regaining her composure before boring her ice blue eyes into his. Again she begins to chant in their ancient, hidden tongue, her singsong voice wavering with emotion.
Hot tears pool rapidly in my eyes, sliding down my face, as I see Dorian’s face transform from affliction to pure bliss. His eyes grow brighter; they are nearly glowing in his euphoric high. He grips my hand tighter, telling me he’s still here, he’s still with me. Aurora’s face is a mixture of carnal desire and ecstasy as she purrs her admission to Dorian, as if I don’t even exist in this moment. It’s just the two of them. I am nothing more than a pathetic spectator intruding on their intimate moment.
Why am I even sitting here, watching like some perverted voyeur? I should leave; I should run away from their depravity. Dammit, I should kick both of their asses for making me feel so weak and disgusting! But I can’t. I am a damn fool, a sick puppy. I am trapped in my own self-inflicted misery.
Dorian begins to tremble and a low growl escapes him. He squeezes my hand harder still and though it hurts, I don’t dare pull away. The tears flow faster and I choke on my anguished sobs. When will this be over? Hasn’t he had enough? The blue glow radiating from the
ir transmission grows brighter still and they both begin to pant, their chests heaving rapidly. Soft moans cascade from Aurora’s lips as she surrenders decades of lust and desire to her past love. It startles me, hearing her passionate cries for Dorian. I gauge his expression, search it for any sign that he feels the same passion. The answer nearly destroys me. He feels it too. He wants her; he needs her. He said he’d try to stop but her magic consumes him. He consumes her.
As if my heart and my pride could take another blow, Dorian releases my hand, replacing it with the taut flesh of Aurora’s backside. She gasps in delight, her eyes fixed on Dorian’s, her breathing wild with a flood of ardor. He slides her skirt up to her hips, his hands kneading her exposed tight mounds in a black lace thong and pulls her into his lap. She straddles him, leaving only centimeters between their wanting mouths. I can’t bear to witness this. I can’t stand the torture. Yet I can’t look away. I need to see this. I have to see Dorian in his element, even if he is at home with Aurora.
He is visibly aroused; they both are. And I am certain that if it weren’t for my presence, he would be inside her. Why isn’t he stopping? He said he’d feel my pain and he would try to stop. Maybe he can’t. Maybe the carnal beast within him has taken over and my Dorian is no longer present. Maybe he really is Dark to his core.
Faster than I can comprehend, Dorian flips Aurora onto her back with a low guttural growl, completely forgetting my miserable existence just inches away. I’m sobbing, drowning in a pool of my own sorrow. He easily pops the top buttons of her blouse and buries his face into her neck and chest, inhaling fiercely. Aurora moans and writhes under his weight as he continues to knead her ass and back, sucking in mouthfuls of her sweet scent. Her hands pull at his slick, black hair as he delves into the apex of her full breasts, the bridge of his nose skimming her round swells. Low groans and ringing moans fill the room, joined by my strained, anguished cries. I should leave; I should run out of this suite right now. But love and devotion hold me prisoner. I am a prisoner of Dorian’s love. And right now he is torturing me, killing me. Yet I make no move to run to freedom. I sit and witness my own death.
“Stop!” Dorian shouts hoarsely, his voice full of emotion. He pushes away from Aurora and sits up. “Go,” he commands.
Aurora stands on shaky legs, visibly drunk off Dorian’s intensity. She smiles at me lazily. “He’s all yours,” she whispers as she adjusts her disheveled clothing then staggers out of the room and down the hall.
Dorian gazes at me with sorrowful eyes. He knows what he has done. He knows the brutality I have just experienced. In a swift movement, he is on me, caressing my body furiously. He kisses my face, my neck, the tops of my breasts. And being the desperate sycophant that I am, I let him. Even knowing that just moments ago, his face was buried in Aurora’s cleavage, his hands grasping her backside. What am I doing? What is happening to me?
“I’m so sorry,” he murmurs into my skin. “I’m so sorry, my love. I love only you. I want only you.”
My sobs grow louder as I hear his words. He loves me yet he has hurt me. Deeply wounded me like no one has ever done. And I’ve let him. I let this happen; I encouraged it. I deserve this punishment for it was my own doing.
“I know,” I cry into his chest. I try to hush my whimpering yet I can’t seem to catch my breath. I’m pathetic- a driveling mess of nauseating self-loathing.
“I’m so sorry. I love you. I love you,” he breathes, finding my mouth.
His hands wipe away my mascara- streaked tears before knotting in my tresses. The kiss deepens, cutting off my cries and I begin to melt into his arms. Even after his assault on my heart, he is the only one that can soothe me. Only he knows the depths of my depravity, because he is just as dark and twisted. Two equally confused, pathetic, fucked up souls.
I can’t even comprehend how I could be aroused after witnessing the sensual exchange between Aurora and Dorian, but I am. And as disgusting and weak as it makes me feel, I am panting as he slides my panties down my legs exposing my dripping wet sex. I want him; I want to show him that I can make him feel good too.
Dorian stands long enough to unfasten his pants and relinquish his hardness. He pushes my dress up to gather around my waist before urgently entering me, burying his shame and apologies in my warmth. I murmur his name repeatedly as he digs himself deeper and deeper, filling me until I choke on my own gasps. His rhythm is rushed and unconstrained. He is running away from his corruption. He is trying to escape his darkness. But no matter how deep he delves, no matter how hard he thrusts, no matter how good it feels, he is who he is. He is Dark. My Dark Prince. And I am just as Dark for loving him.
Chapter Six
“I am so sorry, little girl. So, so sorry,” Dorian murmurs into my hair.
It’s late or very early, and somewhere between my earth-shattering orgasm followed by more pitiful sobs, I dozed off. Dorian’s naked body is lying beside me, tightly twisted around my frame protectively. I know he is full of regret but we both know it was necessary. Aurora had to let him breathe her. I just didn’t expect it to be so sexual, so erotic. I can only imagine how sex was for them, and though I try to dispel the thoughts, they keep creeping back up into my mind. I’m not like them, not yet, at least. Everything about them is extraordinary from their physical perfection to the intangible way they move. Of course I can’t even begin to wrap my head around it. It is not meant for me. We are from two different worlds.
“Did you sleep at all?” I whisper hoarsely. I am still too ashamed to look at him. Ashamed because after what I witnessed, after what he did to me, I still let him have me.
“No. I can’t. Not when your pain cripples me so. I am so sorry.”
With a huff, I turn to gauge Dorian’s expression. He is clearly anguished though he looks better. Younger. His eyes have returned to their dazzling azure color and I can tell that his skin has returned to its warm olive complexion in the dim lighting.
“It’s ok, Dorian. I’m ok. It had to be done. We both knew it’d be uncomfortable. I just didn’t expect it to be like that,” I say, my voice cracking at the end. “Is it always going to be like that? When you need to be fixed?”
“Yes. But I hope to not need to breathe anyone else but you. Ever. Do you understand why I was so reluctant to see you every day? I didn’t want to need that. To need Aurora.”
“Yes,” I nod. Had I known that our close proximity would result in him needing anyone else but me, especially Miss Painfully Perfect, I would have been less demanding about him spending each night with me. But I needed him. My addiction for him grows stronger every day. “Is there anything we can do? To ease the…cravings?”
“It’s harder now. Now that we are linked. But I’ll look into it. For now, we just have to make every moment together count.”
I look at my love thoughtfully. He’s right. I can’t dwell on something I can’t control. “Was it hard for my parents too?”
Dorian shrugs. “Since they were both powerful in their own right, their exchange wasn’t as…staggering as it is for you and me. You are enticing for all forces, not just the Dark and Light. There will be those that want to harness that power for themselves.”
“Is that what you want to do?” I whisper before I can stop myself. I was thinking it; it was not meant to be heard aloud.
Shame flashes on Dorian’s face momentarily. “Part of me does. It feels so…good. Strong. It’s in my nature to want it. And I’ve only had a taste, only a fraction of how potent you will be. But taking it from you would kill you, and I could not bear that.”
“You said that if I stop loving you, you would die. What if I died? What will happen to you?”
Dorian chews his bottom lip as he ponders my question. “I will live.”
“And if you die, what happens to me?”
“You will live.”
“What if you stop loving me? Will that kill me?”
Dorian looks at me gravely. The talk of death has made him uneasy yet these are thing
s I need to know. “Yes. It will. But I would never do that. I can’t.”
I shake my head exasperatedly. “Dorian, I don’t know how the Dark view the idea of commitment, but you have basically linked us for the rest of our lives. You aren’t going to want me forever. And as soon as something or someone better comes along, I will die. Do you understand that? It will kill me if you leave me!”
“Do you plan on wanting someone else? Is my love not enough for you?” he asks in a level voice. How can he be so calm about this? We haven’t even defined our relationship, for crying out loud!
“No, Dorian, of course not.” It’s the truth; no one compares to him. He is my heart and soul. He is my everything. “But you have to know that this scares me. You say that you could never stop loving me, but how do I know that’s true? And don’t tell me because you can’t lie! I know that. You don’t know what the future holds for us. What if ascending changes me? What if I really do become some freak?”
Dorian chuckles lightheartedly and as always, his laughter makes me smile despite the morbid nature of the conversation. “That won’t happen. Ascending will bring out every remarkable quality in you and then heighten it times ten. No, a hundred. You’ll be more amazing than you already are. There won’t be a force on Earth that could deny your power. They will worship the ground you walk on.”
Wow. Could I really handle all that adoration? Not to mention the huge burden of responsibility. “And then what? What would be expected of me?”
He shrugs. “All I can hope is that we will be together, no matter what you choose.”
Together. “So are we together? I mean, we’ve just never talked about it.” Though he’s already bonded me for life. No big deal.
Dorian chuckles again. “I should say so! But if you must label it, you are mine and I am yours. Like I told you before, you can be whatever you want to me.”
I smile instinctively. He’s mine. Dorian-freakin’-Skotos is mine. That’s right, bitches!