“True.”
After a pause, he added, “But don’t you see? That’s my dilemma. I’m having a hard time trusting in a God who allowed something like that to happen. He could have stopped it. For that matter, He could’ve stopped Brewster and his men from burning down my business. A lot of money went into that lumber, and the money I paid the workers, too. Just doesn’t make sense to me. If the Lord wanted to stop me in my tracks he should have done it before I made the investment.” Mick shrugged.
“There are so many things about God’s timing—and His will—that elude me,” Ida confessed. “He could have stopped Larson’s death. And the death of my mother.” She drew in a deep breath. “We cannot comprehend why things happen like they do, but we trust anyway.”
Mick shrugged. “That might make sense to you, but from where I stand it seems mighty impractical to put my trust in a God who’s liable to derail me. Brewster’s men nearly took my life, Ida. That’s enough to make me angry. And even angrier that they still haven’t been brought to justice.”
“Our system of justice is vastly different from the Lord’s,” she countered. “‘Vengeance is mine, saith the Lord. I will repay.’”
“It might be His,” Mick agreed, “but that doesn’t stop me from wanting to take matters into my own hands sometimes.”
“You must trust me when I say that I understand all too well,” she said. “I’ve always been one to rush out ahead of God. To take things into my own hands when they belong in His. But if I’ve learned one thing over the past couple of months it is that we’re sometimes called to give God the reins. Even when it doesn’t make sense.”
Mick shook his head. “Sounds easy enough, but hearing it and doing it are two different things.”
“Of course.” Ida gave him a concerned look. “I do hope you will allow the Lord to continue to work in your heart, Mick. You’ve made such headway, and I know what a strong man you are. You will be stronger still if you make your peace with God.”
“I suppose.” He pulled her close. “But why do we need to talk about all of that right now? Isn’t it enough that we’re together?” He leaned in and whispered gently in her ear, “You’ve stolen my heart, Ida. Do you understand what I’m saying? I’m undone.”
Ida felt a lump rise in her throat and she dreaded speaking her next words. “My feelings for you are very strong, as well. But it’s not enough, Mick, though I’m sure this won’t make much sense to you. I cannot give my heart to a man who has not given his heart to the Lord.”
“I’m trying to figure all that out, but it’s going to take some time. I’m on the right track, don’t you think?” He gave her a pleading look. “I’m plenty willing to admit I’ve got a ways to go before I get things all figured out. But I don’t see why that has to keep us from being together.”
“It’s a matter of wholly submitting your will. Asking Him to be Lord of your life.”
“I’m just not sure what that entails.”
She smiled. “It means He takes control. And it means you have to be willing to trade in your dreams for His, if that makes sense. Once that takes place, I’m more than happy to—” she felt her cheeks flush “—consider courting you. If that’s what you’re asking.”
“Yes, that’s what I’m asking.” Mick rested against his crutches. “But I wonder if you’re hesitant for another reason.”
“What do you mean?”
“Maybe you don’t want a man who’s crippled. Is that the real issue here?”
Her heart broke at his painful words. Clearly, he did not understand. “You’re not crippled in the usual way,” Ida said. “It’s not your bones that haven’t mended—it’s your heart. And until it does, until you’ve made your peace with God, I cannot…”
“Cannot what?”
“Cannot allow myself to consider the possibility. It’s not enough that you care for me.”
“You care for me, too.”
“I do care for you.” She swallowed the growing lump in her throat. “But God’s plan is bigger than what I’m feeling. Or what you’re feeling, for that matter.”
“How do you know that?”
“Because I know that it will bring a peace that passes all understanding, and I don’t have that. Not yet.” She gave him an imploring look. “I want to have it, and I’m praying for God’s perfect will in this situation.”
A defiant look came into Mick’s eyes and he pulled back, his jaw tightening. “Well, when you figure that out, come and tell me, because I can honestly say I don’t have a clue what all the fuss is about. I’m crazy about you, and I know you love me, too.” He paused and seemed to be collecting his thoughts. “You’re a stubborn girl.”
“What?”
“You’ve got a backbone of steel, like those railroad tracks over there. No bending, no concessions. And yet you would have me concede all my plans, my dreams.” He shook his head. “Where is the fairness in that?”
Tears sprang to Ida’s eyes as she spoke. “This isn’t about what’s fair, Mick. It’s about what’s right.”
“I only know one thing that’s right.” He turned back toward the mercantile, stumbling on his crutches as he mumbled, “And you’re about to let it slip right through your fingers.”
Chapter Thirty-One
The following afternoon Mick called for Ida to meet him upstairs in the kitchen. He needed her assistance with a project, one he could not unveil just yet. He knew his unusual request would upset her, but figured it would be worth the risk, especially if everything went as planned. She entered the room cautiously.
“Did you want me, Mick?” She wiped her hands on her apron.
More than you know.
“The shop is full of customers and Dinah needs my help,” she said.
Indeed, something about Dinah seemed amiss today. He’d noticed it early on. Her eyes had a misty glow about them, a sure sign that she’d been crying. And a somber expression replaced her usually bright countenance. Something felt wrong.
“Nellie’s gone for the day,” Ida continued. “She took the morning train to Houston to fetch her mother.”
“I see.” After a brief pause, he continued. “Well, I am sorry to interrupt, but this will only take a moment. I wonder if you would be so kind as to call for your father. I have a business matter to discuss with him.”
“Papa?”
“Yes.”
“Is this about lumber?” The expression on her face hardened as she spoke the words.
“Perhaps.” Mick offered up a smile as he thought about his new plans. A visit from Mr. Mueller would prove to be essential, as would some private time with Johnsey and Dinah. And the local banker. Yes, with the help of others, his dream of a new building would become a reality.
Ida crossed her arms. “I could call for Papa if you like, but it hurts my heart to do so.”
“I beg your pardon?”
“I suspect that you are reconsidering the gambling hall. Hoping to acquire funds to rebuild?”
“Well, to be honest…” How much should he tell her?
“Mick, I just think it’s a bad idea, especially now.” Her eyes misted over and he wondered at her sudden outburst of emotion.
How could he begin to explain his motives if she resorted to tears? Standing up to a tearful woman had never been his forte.
Ida’s features hardened before he could say a word. “Mick Bradley, I’m ashamed of you.”
“Excuse me?” Would she not even let him get a word in edgewise?
Her cheeks now flamed. “The Lord has spared your life. Given you a second chance. And you’re going to take advantage of that by returning to the very thing that drove you from Him in the first place? Don’t you see? Building that place will be your ruin.”
He was more frustrated than ever. Obviously, she didn’t care to listen to his explanation, though he had carefully planned just how he would break the news. “Apparently, speaking with you about this is useless, at least right now. Maybe we can talk again later.
”
“I’m begging you to reconsider. This is not the direction you should be headed. Remember what you said about the Promised Land?”
He nodded. “Of course.”
“Only good things await people in the promised land,” she emphasized.
“But how do you know what I’m contemplating?” he asked. “What makes you think it’s bad?” Honestly, if she would just slow down, he would convince her that his motives and his actions were anything but.
“I can’t see into your heart.”
“Well, that’s a shame.” He shook his head. “I’m convinced you would change your mind if you could.” Indeed, she would put an end to this arguing right away.
Mick tried to stand, but lost his balance as the bad leg gave way beneath him. She rushed to his side, and caught him as he started to go down. They stood in a tight embrace, her flushed cheeks now at his shoulder level.
He glanced down into her tear-filled eyes and for a brief moment wanted to draw her close, wanted to trace a tear down her cheek with his fingertip, wanted to run his hands through that beautiful blond hair. If he told her everything would work out fine in the end, would she believe it? He had the urge to kiss her on the spot—surely that would leave a much better memory than bickering.
He managed a few words, whispering into her ear. “It seems you’re always saving me from falling.”
“I’d like to save you again,” she whispered back. “But only the Lord can do that. And I pray you will open your heart to Him and allow it. You must see that building the gambling hall is in direct opposition to His will. Please don’t do this, Mick.”
“Ida, calm yourself.” He eased back down onto the chair once again, dejected. “Just call for your papa and I will fill you in on the details later. In the meantime, I’m just going to have to ask you to trust me. Can you do that? I know I haven’t given you much reason to do so in the past, but you will find that I am trustworthy, I assure you.”
She stood in strained silence, her cheeks flushed. Ida’s emotional response had shaken him to his core. Why would she respond in such a way? Had she really noticed no change in his life—his attitude—at all?
She went back downstairs to the store, and within an hour, Mr. Mueller arrived. Mick gave the best presentation he could manage, speaking animatedly about the revenue his new building would bring to the community. If Mr. Mueller would just see fit to front him the lumber, that was.
“Young feller, I don’t see as you’re in any shape to be building anything. Looks to me like you should be recuperating, not working.”
“I can do both,” Mick argued. “And I plan to stay put in Spring Creek. If you’ll do me the favor of trusting me with the lumber up front, that is. If you don’t…” Mick couldn’t finish the statement. He had no idea what he’d do if this plan fell through.
Mr. Mueller’s face softened and the crinkles around his eyes deepened as a smile lit his face. “You’re doing this for my girl, aren’t you?”
“I am, sir.” Mick did his best not to let the grin spread too far. He wanted Ida’s father to take his request seriously, after all.
“I take that to mean you love her.” Dirk Mueller’s mustache twitched.
“I do, sir.”
“Well, in that case, how could I possibly say no?” The older man gave Mick a bear hug, and patted him on the back. “If you love her half as much as I think you do, she’s going to be one happy woman. Now let’s get busy and build that building!”
Ida made the journey toward home as the sun began to set. She drew in one deep breath after another, trying to remain calm and levelheaded. Only one problem—she didn’t want to remain calm. She wanted to scream. To kick something. To shout to the skies, “Once a wolf, always a wolf!”
Mick Bradley. What had she ever seen in the man? And whatever made her think he’d change, just to make her happy? Had he been toying with her emotions all along? Did he own a host of gambling halls from North to South? Was there an Ida in every town between here and Chicago?
Just the thought of it sent a shiver down her spine. “I should have heeded my own warnings,” she muttered under her breath as she drew near the tracks. Yes, dressed in sheep’s clothing he’d somehow wormed his way into her heart. And she’d let him. Simple as that. She had no one but herself to blame. Somehow, knowing that made her even more angry.
“Ida!”
Ida turned and saw Sophie coming toward her.
“I missed you at the mercantile. Dinah told me you’d just left,” Sophie said, trying to catch her breath. “Is Dinah all right? She looked quite sad.”
“Yes, something is not right with Dinah today. She wouldn’t talk about it, however.”
“I see.”
They continued on in silence for a moment.
“Did you enjoy the picnic yesterday?” Sophie asked.
“I did. I’m sorry we didn’t get a chance to speak,” Ida said. “I was…”
Sophie waited for her to continue. When Ida didn’t, Sophie smiled.
“Ida, I want to talk to you about Mick.”
Ida was surprised by the rush of jealousy that came over her. The words flew out of her mouth before she could stop them. “Sophie, I know that you think Mick is very handsome. You’ve made no secret of that. But you must know that he is not the man we would wish him to be. He is planning—”
Sophie put her hand on her friend’s arm. “I think you’ve misinterpreted my feelings. Yes, he is a handsome man, but I’m not interested in him. I never have been. Ida, I’ve known you a very long time. Almost our entire lives. And I feel I must tell you that I have never seen you look at a man the way you look at Mick Bradley. All those comments I made about him were just my way of trying to get you to see him, Ida. To truly see him. To look beyond his gambling hall and see the way he looks at you. He’s never had eyes for anyone in this town but you, Ida. Don’t doubt that for a minute.”
Ida was so stunned by her friend’s words that she couldn’t come up with a reply.
“Please, Ida, don’t let this chance pass you by. Mick is a good man. Even if he is a bit misguided at times.” Sophie pulled Ida into a hug. “Life is full of wonderful opportunities but you have to recognize them in order to take advantage. Do not miss this one because you’ve got blinders on.”
Ida wiped a tear from her cheek as Sophie released her. Sophie gave her hand a final squeeze and headed toward her home. Ida stood frozen in place, speechless. What a fool she’d been. Her best friend had probably known how she felt about Mick long before she herself did. And to think that Sophie would try to win Mick for herself was absurd. Had Ida no faith in their friendship? She felt she scarcely knew herself anymore.
She began to walk. As she came upon the railroad tracks, she had a sudden realization and a wave of guilt washed over her. July 5. Larson had died two years ago today in this very spot. No wonder Dinah had looked so somber today. That one night had changed everything for Dinah—for all of them. These tracks served as an ever-present reminder. And yet, Dinah was falling in love. She was allowing herself to fall for Johnsey Fischer—she was moving forward and taking a chance, trusting in her feelings.
Can I not do the same? Is God showing me a path, showing me His will—and I’m ignoring the signs?
Ida looked down at the tracks in front of her. With a deep breath, she lifted her foot and took a step across.
As soon as Dirk Mueller left the mercantile, Mick started putting together a plan for how—and when—the new building would come together. And just how he would let Ida know. Sooner was probably better than later, given her earlier response.
He summoned Dinah to his room. Mick smiled at the look of hopeful expectation in her eyes when he gave her the particulars of his new plan, and her excitement seemed to grow when he asked if she would send word for the reverend to come tomorrow. She scurried off with a smile on her face—the first he’d seen all day.
Ida’s words came rushing back to him after Dinah left. “It’s
not your bones that haven’t mended—it’s your heart. And until it does, until you’ve made your peace with God…”
The words had felt like an accusation at the time, but now they blanketed him, bringing hope. In spite of his failings, Mick wanted to believe the Lord could change things, turn things around. Could God do that…for him? For his relationship with Ida?
Maybe his train needed to be on a different track, headed off in a completely different direction.
The words to the hymn Mick had sung last Sunday came back, stirring his heart to action.
Tell me the story, as to a little child,
For I am weak and weary, and helpless and defiled.
Mick looked down at his leg, and then shifted his gaze to the crutches leaning up against the chair. He believed now that his leg would mend in time. Someday he would look back on all this as nothing more than a distant memory.
Oh, but when he thought of Ida—when he remembered the way she’d felt in his arms, heard again the sound of her voice as she chided him, thought about the sparkle in her blue eyes, the determination in her voice—he could hardly contain himself. This was a girl sent straight from heaven. What was the word Johnsey had used? Manna. Yes, manna from heaven. And he would win her over with this new plan, for he’d placed her in the very center of it.
He’d made other plans in the past, and things had ended badly. When he’d been in charge, the situation had spiraled out of control.
What could he do to prevent that from happening this time around? Only one thing came to mind—the one thing he’d avoided most of his adult life. With a heavy but hopeful heart, Mick Bradley bowed his head and began to pray.
Chapter Thirty-Two
Ida arrived at the mercantile at exactly two o’clock for once. She found the place busier than usual. There seemed to be an excitement in the air—something she couldn’t put her finger on, exactly. For one thing, Dinah looked surprisingly happy today. More so than usual, in light of her sober countenance yesterday.