“Come on, it’ll only take a second.” I pulled her through his gate and up the path. “You’re supposed to be having lunch together, remember.”
Dilan was the only one home. He said his parents were at work and his brother, Danesh, was doing some kind of summer school. “I got the looks, he got the brains,” he joked.
“And the modesty!” Lizzie shot back, and he burst out laughing, slapping his hand on his leg as if it was the funniest thing he’d ever heard. We followed him into the kitchen and he grabbed a carton of orange juice out of the fridge. “So are you going to tell me what’s going on,” he said, “or do you want me to start guessing?”
Lizzie shot me a look. “I do want to tell you, Dilan, but it’s really complicated, isn’t it, Bee?”
I nodded, keeping my mouth shut. I didn’t even know if Dilan knew Lizzie had an older brother who’d died. They were only three or four when they started having lessons together and seven when they stopped. For all I knew, he might think Lizzie had always been an only child.
“It’s just that our families don’t get on,” Lizzie explained. “My dad really hates Bee’s dad so he doesn’t want the two of us to be friends. They’re sworn enemies.”
Dilan opened his mouth to ask more questions, but just at that moment my phone rang. It was Bailey.
“I’ve found Aidan,” he said, without saying hello or anything. “He messaged me back on Facebook. He wants you to go round there today at two. I’ve got the address and everything.”
“Oh my God! Okay, we’ll meet you at the bus stop in ten minutes.” I closed my phone, my hand trembling suddenly. “Bailey’s found Aidan,” I said to Lizzie.
“No way.”
“We’re going round there, now.”
“What, like right now?” She looked scared, her eyes huge in her face.
I nodded, pulling her towards the door. “Come on, Bailey’s waiting. He’s got all the details.”
“But what about my dad?” said Lizzie, pulling her arm away. “He doesn’t know where I am.”
I stopped by the door. “Well, I’m going to see him, even if you’re not. I’m sorry, Lizzie, but I’ve got to find out what really happened to Luke.”
“Hang on, who’s Luke?” said Dilan.
“My brother,” said Lizzie faintly.
I grabbed her again, desperate to get going, practically dragging her to the door.
“And who’s Aidan?” Dilan called after us.
“Mine,” I called back. “Luke was Lizzie’s brother, and Aidan is mine.”
CHAPTER THIRTY-SIX
I let Bee pull me down the path, amazed at how confident and determined she was acting. It was only a few days since I’d last seen her, but she seemed different. The way she’d talked to Dilan, the way she was taking control... it was weird, as if we’d swapped roles.
“I can’t just come round to Aidan’s with you, not today,” I said, when we were out on the street. She was so focused on seeing him, I don’t think she realized how scared I was. “My dad will be freaking out right now, and the longer I’m gone the worse it’s going to be.”
“But we really need to talk to Aidan. Can’t you just text him?”
I shook my head. “How can I? He’s got my phone, Bee. He took it away when we got back from Spain.”
“Text him on mine then,” she shot back, holding her phone out to me. Our eyes locked.
She was challenging me. Daring me to stand up to Dad.
“You don’t know what’s he’s like,” I said.
“I do,” said Bee quietly. “He’s a bully. And I know all about bullies.” Her eyes never left mine for a second.
The air around us was thick and heavy, pressing down on my chest, making it difficult to breathe. It wasn’t like she was saying something I didn’t know, it was just hearing her say it out loud. She was right. Dad was a bully. And he was SO controlling. A feeling of anger was bubbling up inside me, fizzing round my body. He wanted to control every single aspect of my life. If I didn’t stand up to him now, I never would.
I pushed her hand away. “I’m not going to text him,” I said. “That would be cowardly. I’m going to go home and tell him.” I knew I sounded braver than I felt, but it was as if the anger was speaking for me, giving me strength.
“Come on then,” said Bee, and she grabbed my hand again and started pulling me down the road towards my house.
“Wait, what are you doing?”
She glanced back at me, her face set in a determined frown. “I’m coming with you, of course. I’m not letting you go through this alone.”
We ran down the road together, stopping outside my front door. I was hot and sweaty, my heart beating much too fast.
“You can do this, Lizzie,” said Bee. “What’s the worst thing that could happen?”
I didn’t know but I was about to find out. The door swung open and Dad stood facing us, his arms folded across his chest.
“Get in the house, Lizzie.” His voice was low and menacing. He stood aside to let me pass, but I shook my head, too scared to speak.
“I mean it,” he growled. “Get in. Now.”
“I’m g-g-going out with B-Bee,” I stammered. “I just came back to tell you.”
“Did you now?” he said. “How very thoughtful of you.” His voice was dripping with sarcasm, his face cold and blank, as if all his emotions were hidden behind an icy mask. Bee squeezed my hand. I squeezed back, so relieved that she was with me.
“I won’t be late,” I said to Dad, feeling a bit braver. “If you give me my phone back, I’ll be able to text you.”
“Okay then,” he said slowly. “Come inside and I’ll get your phone. It’s upstairs.”
“No, it’s alright, I’ll wait here.”
There was a long silence. He didn’t know what to do. Not with Bee standing there.
“Get in,” he said in the end, his voice growing louder. “I’m not discussing it any more, Lizzie. Just get in the house and we’ll forget all about it. Say goodbye to your friend and that’ll be the end of it.”
I shook my head again, taking a step back. “I’m sorry, Dad, but I’m not coming in.” My eyes filled with tears suddenly. “You can’t keep me here like a prisoner just because Luke died. It’s killing me.”
Bee gasped. My heart was beating so hard it seemed to fill my entire body. Bang. Bang. Bang. Dad’s mask cracked. His face creased up, painful lines drawn deep into his skin. I couldn’t stand it. I wanted to reach over to him and smooth them out. Delete what I’d said. Put the mask back in place.
“Come on,” said Bee quietly. “Let’s go.”
I backed out of the front garden, watching Dad the whole time. He looked smaller somehow, half his normal size. It was just like in Spain when I saw him crying in the woods. Ten years had passed since Luke died, but the way Dad was standing there on the doorstep, it was as if it had only happened yesterday.
I hardly spoke on the bus on the way to Bailey’s house. I was scared if I said anything at all I’d start crying and I had a horrible feeling that once I started I wouldn’t be able to stop. Bee talked non-stop, filling me in on what she’d been up to since I last saw her. She explained how Bailey had messaged every Aidan Brooks on Facebook and she showed me a note she’d found in her dad’s office that her dad had written to Aidan. I read it two or three times but it didn’t make sense.
“Don’t worry, I don’t get it either,” she said, folding it up and putting it back in her bag. “I know it makes my dad sound guilty, as if he’s hiding something. That’s why I need to speak to Aidan.”
She was being so matter-of-fact; it was difficult to believe we were talking about Luke and the fact that her dad might be responsible for his death. I stared out of the window, trying not to think of Dad’s face when I left him on the doorstep. I couldn’t help feeling guilty, as if by choosing to walk away from him with Bee, I was somehow taking sides against my own family.
Bailey was waiting for us at the bus stop. He was muc
h better-looking than Bee had described, like, seriously cute. His face lit up as the bus pulled in and he spotted Bee.
“Stay on the bus,” he called out, waving us back. “Aidan lives right in the centre of town.”
He tapped his Oyster card and followed us up to the top deck of the bus.
“So tell me exactly what was in the message, word for word,” Bee said as soon as we were all sitting down. “Did you print it off?”
“It was really short,” said Bailey. “It just said something like, Hi, it’s Aidan, tell Bee I can see her today. I’ll be home after two. That was it apart from the address.” He reached into his pocket and pulled out a scrap of paper, waving it under her nose. “He lives in that big block of flats near the cinema. Do you know where I mean?”
I didn’t have a clue, but Bee nodded, her eyes wide. “We’re so close now,” she said, as if we were off on an adventure together. “We’re so close to finding out what really happened to Luke.” I wished I could share her determination – but no matter what we found out, Luke would still be dead and Dad would still do everything he could to stop me from living a normal life.
It was easy to find Aidan’s flat. It was in the really tall block right on the edge of town. We were way too early, so we wandered round for a bit to pass the time. There wasn’t really much to see, just a few shops, a cafe and a doctor’s surgery. It wasn’t the nicest place to live. There was something bleak and depressing about it, as if no one cared very much.
Aidan buzzed us in just after two and we took the lift up to the fifth floor.
“What’s he like?” I said, turning to face Bee. I was already so churned up about Dad and what had happened earlier, and now I was about to come face-to-face with someone who actually knew Luke.
“I’m not really sure, to be honest,” said Bee. “I know it sounds weird but I was only eight when he moved out and he doesn’t come round much any more because of my dad. If I said they didn’t get on, that would be like the understatement of the century.”
“I know, you told me on holiday. But do you think he’ll mind that we’ve come with you?”
She looked away, blushing. “I’m pretty certain he won’t mind Bailey coming but I’m not sure how he’ll react to you. I’m sorry, Lizzie, I don’t mean that in a horrible way.”
“I know, don’t worry. He’ll probably freak out when he realizes who I am.”
The lift doors jolted open and Bailey led us down the corridor to flat 56. Aidan was waiting for us at the door, his arms folded across his chest. He looked just like Bee, with curly brown hair and tan skin. He started to smile, but then the smile seemed to fade away, as if he was trying to work out what was going on.
“We’re here!” Bee announced, her voice much too loud in the quiet corridor. She sounded as nervous as I was feeling.
“Hi, Bee. Alright, Bailey?” said Aidan, standing back to let us in. “You haven’t changed much since I last saw you.” He smiled at Bailey and then his eyes slid over to me.
“This is my friend, Lizzie,” said Bee. “She’s Luke’s sister.”
My heart started to beat faster. I’d had no idea she was going to blurt it out like that. I watched Aidan’s face as he registered Bee’s words.
“Luke who?” he said quietly. But it was obvious he knew. He was blushing. Big red patches spread over his face and neck.
“Luke, your friend who died in Spain,” I said. “Luke who died ten years ago this summer.”
No one said anything. It was like I’d lit a firework right there in the entrance of Aidan’s flat and this was the moment of silence before the explosion.
“What the hell’s going on, Bee?” said Aidan in the end. He sounded really angry. “Why did you contact me through Bailey? Why didn’t you just ask Mum for my number?”
Bee started to talk very fast. “Look, I met Lizzie in Spain, on holiday, but now we’re not allowed to see each other because Lizzie’s dad thinks that our dad killed her brother, Luke. Not only that, but I can’t ask Dad about it because he’s gone missing. This letter came, addressed to Mum, and then there were loads of rows and then Dad disappeared. I thought he was staying at Uncle Ron’s, that’s what Mum said, but when I called Uncle Ron he said he hadn’t seen Dad for ages.”
The whole story came tumbling out. I watched Aidan the whole time, but it was impossible to know what he was thinking.
“We had to come and see you because you were there,” I said, picking up the story. “You were actually on that holiday in Spain when my brother died, so you must know what happened to him...” I trailed off, the words drying up in my mouth. It was so strange, talking about Luke in front of Bailey and Aidan, but we’d come too far to back down now.
“Look, I think you’d better all come in and sit down,” said Aidan. He looked scared. Tiny beads of sweat had appeared across his forehead. He led us into the lounge, waving in the direction of the couch. The room was a mess, loads of books piled up on the table, papers everywhere.
“I’ve just qualified as a science teacher,” he said to Bee. “Well, chemistry, to be precise. Did Mum tell you?”
Bee shook her head, looking amazed, as if she didn’t know the first thing about him.
“It was really tough,” he said. “Hardest thing I’ve ever done. Would any of you like a drink? I’ll stick the kettle on.” We all shook our heads, perching in a line on the edge of the couch.
“No thanks,” I said. “We just want to talk. We want to know what really happened on the night Luke died.”
Aidan sat down opposite us, as if he was the head teacher and we were three naughty children who’d been called into his office. “I wish I could help,” he said, not really meeting my eye. “It was such a long time ago, you see...”
I glanced at Bee. She was staring at him, willing him to talk. She was as desperate as me to find out the truth.
“I didn’t really know Luke, to be honest,” he went on, his voice flat and robotic, almost as if he’d rehearsed the lines. “I mean, I remember the holiday, but Luke was older than me, we didn’t hang out or anything. It was a terrible accident, that’s what I heard.”
“But Mum said you were friends,” said Bee. “She told me.”
“You know what Mum’s like,” said Aidan, looking even more uncomfortable. “Just because she was close friends with Suzie, Luke’s mum, she liked to think we were all best mates. I hardly saw Luke that holiday.”
His eyes flickered towards me. It was so obvious he was talking rubbish. I stood up suddenly; I couldn’t help it. How was I supposed to keep quiet when he was sitting there, lying to my face? I reached into my bag and pulled out the photo of me and Luke at the picnic. The photo of Luke with the orange-peel smile. The one with Aidan’s message scrawled on the back.
“If you didn’t know him,” I said, my voice shaking, “if you weren’t mates, how do you explain this?”
CHAPTER THIRTY-SEVEN
Aidan jumped up and snatched the photo out of Lizzie’s hand, staring at it as if he couldn’t believe his eyes.
“What’s going on?” I said. “What’s in the picture?”
“It’s me and Luke,” said Lizzie. “But Aidan was there when it was taken. He’s written a message to Luke on the back.”
“Look, you need to go,” said Aidan, his eyes darting towards the door. He looked nervous, as if he was worried someone was about to walk in.
“You did see Luke on that holiday, didn’t you?” Lizzie went on, as if he hadn’t spoken. “You can’t just throw us out and pretend you didn’t know him. My brother died the day after that photo was taken and I want to know what happened.”
Aidan sank back down onto the sofa, still clutching the photo. “Yes, of course I saw him,” he muttered. “Luke was my best mate. I saw him every day. We did everything together.”
I couldn’t believe it. “But then why did you lie to Lizzie just now?” I said, beginning to get angry.
Bailey stood up suddenly. I’d almost forgotten he was there. ?
??I’m going to head home,” he said. “You guys really need to sort this out between you.” He mouthed at me to text him. I nodded and then swung back round to face Aidan. He was still staring at the photo.
“Just tell us,” I said. “Stop lying and tell us the truth. Why did you say you didn’t know Luke if you were best friends?” I was so angry I wanted to shake him.
“I had to,” he said. His voice was tight. “He made me.”
“What do you mean?” I glanced over at Lizzie and then back at Aidan. “Who made you? You’re not making any sense.”
“I didn’t want to lie. I didn’t want it to be a secret, but Dad made me. He said we had to keep it secret, but secrets eat away at you. They live inside you and poison everything you do.”
He started to cry. Big tears rolled down his face. He didn’t even attempt to wipe them away. It was horrible to see him so upset; I couldn’t bear it. But I couldn’t bear for him to stop talking either. I went over and sat next to him on the couch.
“What was the secret, Aidan?” I said, desperate to find out now. “What did Dad make you say?”
Aidan stared at the photo of Luke and Lizzie for the longest time, his face wet with tears.
“I’m sorry, mate,” he whispered.
“Sorry for what?” I said. “You’ve got to tell us, Aidan. Sorry for what?”
He dragged his eyes away from the photo and we locked eyes.
“For killing Luke,” he said. “It wasn’t Dad who killed Luke. It was me.”
We all froze for a split second; no one moved or said anything. And then Aidan slumped forward in the sofa, his head in his hands.
“Don’t be stupid,” I said, pulling his hands away, forcing him to look at me. “Luke died in a car accident.” I shook his arm hard, a rush of pure panic surging through me. “I don’t understand. You were only fourteen, Aidan. How could it be your fault? What are you talking about? How could you have caused a car accident?”
“Because Luke made me drive,” sobbed Aidan. “He was out of control, drunk. I didn’t want to drive the car, but he made me.”