“It will be good to see your friends,” her mother said, her voice unnaturally high, as if she was trying to reassure herself as well as Abby. “You had so many good friends in high school.”
“Yes,” Abby concurred, forcing herself to smile. “Everything went well yesterday when I ran into Patty at the pharmacy. It will now, too.” She hoped.
Abby opened the car door and climbed outside. The blast of the damp and cold was instantaneous.
Her mother joined her, wrapping her arm around her elbow. Together the two walked into the Pancake Palace. Right away the crusty old waitress that Abby remembered from her youth crossed their path in her pink uniform and white apron, moving from table to table wielding a glass coffeepot.
“Is that Goldie?” her mother asked. “My goodness, I would have thought she’d have retired by now.”
Apparently Goldie’s hearing was just fine because she turned to glance in their direction. She squinted as though she didn’t immediately recognize Abby or Linda. The older woman shifted her weight and pressed her hand against her hip before walking toward them. “I remember you … now don’t tell me your name,” she instructed, wagging her index finger at Abby.
Since her picture and the scene of the accident had been plastered across the local newspaper for what had seemed like weeks on end, Abby had no doubt Goldie would remember her, despite the years.
“Kincaid, right?”
“Right,” Abby said, grinning despite her nervousness.
“You with Patty’s group?” She didn’t give them an opportunity to answer. “She reserved the party room in the back. There’s a whole gang of girls back there, making more racket than they did as teenagers.” She winked at Abby. “Good to see you, Lambcakes.”
“Lambcakes?” Abby repeated softly as a warm sensation filled her. She led the way to the rear of the restaurant where the party room was situated. Lambcakes was the pet name Goldie had dubbed her as a teenager. The waitress had remembered.
The party room was behind two glass doors with square wood panels. It was relatively small, with just enough space for one long table that seated twelve to fifteen. Abby could hear the happy chatter even before she reached the area.
The conversation died the instant Abby and her mother walked into the room. For an instant Abby was sure she was about to relive her worst nightmare. But the lull lasted no longer than a couple of heartbeats before she was instantly surrounded by friends she’d known nearly her entire childhood. And from the corner of her eye, she could see Patty’s mother embracing Linda warmly.
“Abby, Abby.” Marie, one of her closest childhood friends quickly hugged her. “I’ve missed you so much.”
“You look fabulous.”
“You haven’t changed a bit since high school.”
“How long are you in town for?”
“We’ve missed you at the reunions.”
“Oh, it’s just so good to see you.”
Questions and comments seemed to come at Abby from every direction as her friends surrounded her. Abby tried to answer but before she was able to respond, another question or comment was thrust at her.
“Girls, girls.” Patty broke into the fray, raising her hands above her head in order to attract their attention. “For the love of heaven give Abby room to breathe.”
Her friends started to spread out, granting Abby and her mother the opportunity to find their seats.
“Let’s all sit down,” Patty instructed next.
“Patty always was a take-charge sort of person,” Suzie reminded Abby, as she gave her a squeeze around her waist.
“Bossy, you mean,” Marie added and then laughed. “But we wouldn’t have it any other way.”
“We love her for it,” Amy added. “If it wasn’t for Patty, we wouldn’t have known Abby was in town. Remember the time you, Patty, and I snuck into the boys locker room in junior high?”
Abby would never forget how embarrassed they were when the assistant coach walked out of the shower and into the locker area. The girls had assumed they were alone. They had screamed and raced out of the room. The memory immediately produced giggles from everyone.
Abby was directed to a chair in the middle of the table and her mother sat down next to her, beside Patty’s mom.
“What brings you to town?” Laurie asked.
“I’m here for my brother’s wedding,” Abby explained.
“Roger’s getting married?” Allison said, pressing her hand over her heart. “I had the biggest crush on him in high school.”
Abby grinned. All her friends had thought Roger was a hunk—she wondered if girls used the same terminology these days.
“Is he still as handsome as he was when we were teenagers?” Suzie asked, folding her hands and pressing them below her chin as she released a slow sigh of adoration.
“More so,” Abby’s mother insisted. “He’s marrying Victoria Templeton.”
“I know her family,” Amy said. “They’re good people.”
“Lucky Victoria,” Marie muttered.
“Can we stop talking about Roger? We’re all married and Roger is about to be, so it’s a lost cause. I want to find out about Abby.” This comment came from Allison, who sat across from Abby.
Marie pressed her elbows against the table. “Shame on you. You haven’t attended a single reunion,” she charged, “and might I remind you, Abby Kincaid, you were the senior class president.”
“Well, yes …” Abby started to say and was interrupted.
“Just tell us about you,” Suzie said, leaning against the table. “Update us on your life. Are you married? Children? I have identical twins, can you believe it? And I just found out I’m pregnant again.”
Her news was followed by a round of congratulations.
“Enough about you, Suzie,” Patty said, “we want to hear from Abby.”
Once again the questions came at Abby from all directions, but thankfully Patty stepped in again. “One at a time, okay? Marie, you’re sitting the closest to Abby, so you go first.”
For a full hour they didn’t even glance at their menus. Goldie, all on her own, brought them salty, hot French fries with ice-cold sodas, which had been a favorite of Abby and Angela’s, and just about everyone else, too.
“I just started a diet,” Suzie cried. “It’s my third one this week.”
“Diet tomorrow,” Marie insisted, reaching in the middle of the table for a French fry. “Besides, this is diet soda, right, Goldie?”
“Wouldn’t serve you girls anything else,” their waitress said as she moved around the outside of the table, refilling the tall glasses.
“All right, all right, I’ll have a French fry,” Suzie agreed, “but only one.”
Abby laughed. Suzie had been on a diet for as long as she could remember. They used to jog together and had even joined the cross-country team as sophomores, but that had only lasted the one year.
“Yogurt again?” Abby teased, remembering the diet Suzie had been on before graduation. She ate yogurt three times a day for a week and gained a pound.
“You know, I’ve joined Weight Watchers so many times, when I last signed up, I used a pseudonym.”
They all laughed.
Suzie reached for a French fry and popped it in her mouth. “I’ll have a salad for lunch.”
“Remember you’re eating for two or three,” Abby teased and they all laughed.
“Chef salad with dressing on the side,” Goldie said, shaking her head as though amused.
The conversation continued throughout lunch. When Abby glanced at her watch she was shocked to see that two hours had lapsed. She’d ordered a side salad along with Suzie but she’d barely had a chance to eat a bite. It felt so incredibly good to be with her old friends again. They laughed, joked, reminisced, and updated one another on their lives since high school and college. Abby was the only one unmarried and without children.
Sitting with her friends, it struck Abby that each one of them had moved forward in their
lives. She was the only one stuck in the past, fearing the future, in a holding pattern, waiting … and for what she didn’t know. The endless before and after of Angela’s death. With this realization came another. Chatter continued around her and she realized that her friends were genuinely happy to see her. What she’d been waiting for, Abby understood, was for someone to punish her. It was what she’d expected; what she’d been holding her breath anticipating. Only it hadn’t happened. She had spent the last fifteen years punishing herself.
“I’d like to apologize to all of you,” she said, and paused to clear her throat.
The room went shockingly quiet as her high school friends all locked their eyes on her.
“I realize I was rude and unfriendly following the … accident,” Abby continued. “Each one of you contacted me and I … I was feeling so wretched and guilty that I wasn’t able to deal with anything beyond my own grief. I can’t tell you how much it means to see you all now.” Tears flooded her eyes and she quickly wiped them away. “Thank you for being my friends when I wasn’t even a friend to myself.”
“Oh Abby …”
“We love you,” Patty said and reached for Abby’s hand and gave it a gentle squeeze. “Everyone knew you were having an impossibly hard time after the accident. The heart heals at its own pace. We’re just happy to have you back.”
“I’ll forgive you,” Marie added, “but only if you promise to attend the next class reunion.”
“I promise,” Abby answered.
“And if you never mention that yogurt diet again,” Suzie added.
They all laughed and the laughter was a healing balm. Everyone spoke at once, offering excuses, understanding, eager to resume their friendships.
Abby’s mother reached for Abby’s hand and locked their fingers together, offering her silent support.
Abby looked back at her friends. “I dreaded returning to Cedar Cove for the wedding, but I’m so pleased I did. It’s been wonderful to see everyone again.”
“Let’s throw Suzie a baby shower,” Allison suggested. “You always planned the best parties. You’d fly back to Cedar Cove for that, wouldn’t you?”
Abby laughed. “It would be easier if everyone came to me,” she teased.
“Very funny,” Suzie joked and then growing serious asked, “Is anyone interested in the rest of those French fries?”
Again they all laughed.
Laurie, the quietest of the bunch, reached for her purse in order to pay her share of the bill.
“Listen,” Abby said, gathering her resolve. “Before everyone gets ready to leave I’d like to ask a question.”
“Sure.” Again Patty answered for the group. “Fire away.”
“Do … do you ever see Angela’s family?”
Her question brought up a pregnant pause.
“Her parents still live in town,” Laurie said.
“Her brother is in the Spokane area, I think,” Amy added.
“How are Angela’s parents?” Abby asked next. They’d been so bitter and angry the last time Abby had attempted to talk to them, especially Angela’s mother.
“Okay, I guess,” Patty said, looking around the table for someone to add more details. “Charlene stops by the pharmacy now and again, but we don’t really have a lot to say to each other.”
“The Whites stay mostly to themselves these days.”
“Mike White used to play golf,” Patty’s mother remembered.
“Yes,” Abby’s mother said. “Mike and Tom were often a twosome on the golf course. Unfortunately that changed after …” She didn’t need to finish for Abby to know what she’d intended to say. After the accident … their relationship was strained to the breaking point and they no longer spoke to each other.
“Do you ever talk to them?” Amy asked Abby.
Abby shook her head. “I tried several times in the year after the accident, but they didn’t want anything to do with me.”
“You should try again,” Patty’s mother suggested. “I know how hard it will be for you.”
“Maybe you’ll feel better if you make one more effort,” Linda said, “and really that’s all you can do. At least you’ll have the satisfaction of knowing you reached out to them.”
“Use your own judgment,” Amy urged with that same gentleness of spirit Abby remembered from their school days.
After paying their tabs, her friends stood to leave. Abby hugged each one as they left the party room until only the two mothers and Patty remained.
Patty and Abby hugged. “Thank you,” Abby whispered, giving her friend an extra long hug. “I can’t tell you how much this meant to me.” It had helped her find a way back to all that had once been good in her life. It had filled Abby with hope for the future.
“It was my pleasure.” Slowly they broke apart.
Linda hugged Patty, too.
“I’m sorry so few of our mothers could make it. This is a busy weekend and I really didn’t have much time to plan it.”
“It worked out beautifully,” Abby’s mother assured her.
The four women left the Pancake Palace together. Abby’s spirits were high. Her welcome to Cedar Cove had been so much more than she’d ever expected, or even hoped.
Patty’s vehicle was parked on the other side of the building so they parted ways. Abby climbed into her rental car and immediately started the engine and turned up the heat. The blast of air was immediate.
Her mother slid into the passenger side and slipped her seat belt into place. Rubbing her palms together to generate heat, Linda Kincaid turned to look at Abby.
“Are you going to do it?” she asked.
Her mother didn’t need to elaborate for Abby to understand the question. She wanted to know if Abby would stop by to see Angela’s parents.
Abby hesitated. “I didn’t mention where I was earlier. I went out to the cemetery to visit Angela’s grave.”
“Oh, sweetheart, that must have been so hard.”
“I expected it would be, but it wasn’t nearly as difficult as I assumed.”
“About her parents …?” Linda left the rest of the question hanging in the air between them.
“I know this sounds impossible, but while I was at the cemetery I felt like Angela asked me to try to talk to her parents.”
“Oh, Abby.”
“It’s been weighing on my mind ever since. I didn’t think I could do it.”
“And now?”
“Being with my friends just now convinced me that I have to try. If the Whites don’t want to see me, then fine, but I think Angela would want me to at least try.” If her mother thought it was odd that Abby was talking to a friend fifteen years in the grave she didn’t say anything.
“The two of you were always so very close,” she murmured. “I’m sure she would want you to see her parents.”
“You think I should?” Abby asked, seeking confirmation.
Her mother hesitated and then nodded.
“Then I will.”
When Abby glanced at her mother, she saw tears in Linda’s eyes. “You make me very proud, Abby.”
“Oh, Mom.”
“I mean it. You’ve carried a heavy burden … one that you should never have had to carry.”
“It’s time,” Abby said, and for the first time since Angela’s death she was ready to lay aside the mantle of guilt.
“Do you want me to go with you?” her mother asked.
It was a generous offer. Nevertheless, Abby shook her head.
“Thanks, but this is something I need to do alone.”
Abby held her mother’s look for a long time before she was able to offer her a reassuring smile.
Chapter 29
Josh sat with his mother’s Bible resting in his lap. Reverently he turned the pages and read her notes in the margins, finding solace in the fact that she had made her peace with God and seemed to have no fear of death.
After hating Richard all these years, accepting that his stepfather was capable of any
act of benevolence overwhelmed him.
A gruff noise came from behind the closed bedroom door.
“Richard’s awake,” Michelle said and started down the hallway toward the master bedroom.
Josh joined her.
When she opened the door, Josh saw that Richard was leaning on his side against one elbow, struggling to sit upright. Michelle and Josh both rushed to him.
“What are you doing?” Michelle cried.
“I thought you’d left,” Richard murmured, directing the comment at Josh. His voice was barely above a rasp as he struggled to breathe. Apparently the attempt to sit up had completely drained him of energy.
“All in good time,” Josh said, his voice low as he struggled to find the words to thank his stepfather. “I’ve been reading through Mom’s Bible. I’m grateful to have it. Thank you.”
Josh helped ease his stepfather back onto his pillow and then sat on the edge of the mattress, pulling up the covers until they were tucked under Richard’s chin.
His stepfather focused on Josh. “Teresa read that Bible every day. She made me a better man … without her … I failed you and I failed Dylan.” Tears rolled down the older man’s cheeks. “I loved her … nothing was right after she died.” Richard’s eyes were rheumy and moist and he seemed to have trouble keeping them open.
“There’s … more.” He choked out the words as if speaking caused him pain and sapped what little strength he possessed. He brought his arm out from beneath the blankets and grabbed hold of Josh’s forearm, his grip so weak that Josh barely felt it.
“More?” Josh asked.
“Garage.”
“Tell me later,” Josh advised, seeing how difficult it was for his stepfather to speak. “After you’ve had a chance to rest.”
“No time.”
“Okay,” Josh said and bent his ear closer to the old man’s face.
“Garage.”
“It’s in the garage?” Josh asked.