“I’m a twenty-year-old girl with a part of her soul missing,” I supplied, squaring my shoulders. I kept my voice even as I spoke to him. “I became an orphan at the age of six. Even though I don’t remember doing it, I grew up with everyone telling me that I killed my entire family right before my sixth birthday. I have been alone most of my life in a psychiatric hospital. I have disturbing sadistic tendencies and I have no family and no real friends. With all that said, it is also in my nature to gravitate towards superficial things that give me instant gratification and make me feel good about myself. As silly as it sounds, overly expensive fashion accessories are my only family. They are my only rocks in this world and the only ones who will always be there to cheer me up.”
“Now that you’ve brought it up, I actually have to ask,” he started, his tone becoming serious as we continued to drive over the desolate road, “even though you can’t remember what happened the night your family was killed, can you remember anything else from your past? For example, what was your family like? What was your life like?”
The question hit an uneasy nerve. I abruptly found unwavering interest in watching droplets of rain streak across the window. I always hated talking about my past, and this was no exception. “I don’t want to talk about it.”
Though I couldn’t see his face, I could sense a frown cloak over his features. He wasn’t happy that I dismissed another one of his questions.
“I have to tell you, Gracie,” he announced, resentment coloring his voice. “I’m feeling slightly taken advantage of.”
I furrowed my brows and faced him with a curious expression. I uncomfortably fidgeted with my fingers while I spoke. “What do you mean?”
His eyes locked with mine. “No matter how secretive I may be, you and I both know that between the two of us, I’m the one who has been doing the confiding. Whenever I ask you something personal, you always refuse to answer. Up until now, I’ve let it go because I didn’t want to push it; I wanted you to naturally feel comfortable around me. But right now, I’m getting the short end of every stick. Since I can’t barter for a kiss in lieu of getting information from you, I suggest you stop holding back so much and give me some insight into your life—just like I’ve given you insight into mine.”
“I’m not used to talking about myself,” I told him honestly, biting my lower lip.
I understood his point. Whereas he had been doing his part in the information-sharing department—sharing with me about his failed attempt to overthrow his father’s monarchy and his current state as a punished Dimmed Demon—I hadn’t been as forthcoming when it came to disclosing information about myself. I may have not liked that he brought this up, but he had a valid argument nonetheless. It was an argument I couldn’t charm my way out of.
I expelled a long sigh. “I’m used to knowing more about someone else than they do about me. I feel safer this way.”
“Everything is a two-way street,” Eclipse said in a business-like tone. “You said that you resent me for being secretive. As a remedy for this, I gave you insight into my life. Much like you, it isn’t in my nature to trust or open up to anyone. Since I’ve made you my exception, I would appreciate the same concession. Friends confide in one another.” A smile graced his handsome face. “We are friends, right, Teacup?”
My heart raced while my eyes widened exponentially. I had been secretly labeling Eclipse as a friend for a while now. I never thought he would call me his friend too.
I blinked at him in absolute shock. “You really see me as your friend?”
His expression took on a more playful and mischievous quality. “Well, not exclusively a friend because if I had it my way, we’d have a much more intimate and”—he paused before giving me a sultry look that would have a nun renouncing her ways— “extravagant relationship, but since we’re trying to keep you alive, the answer is yes. The general definition of a friendship is the ability to confide in someone and knowing that they will not judge you and ultimately accept you for who you are . . . flaws and all.”
“But you don’t accept me as a human being,” I reminded him almost breathlessly, my heart palpitating at the thought of officially finding my first real friend in the world. Eclipse was not the most ideal friend (since he was only here to acquire my soul and turn me into a Demon and all), but he was the closest thing to a friend that I had. I was surprised to find that I really valued him as my friend.
“And you don’t accept me as a Demon,” he productively reminded. A smirk edged his lips. “I’m not saying that we have the ideal friendship, but for a Demon and a sadistic human, I’d say we’re making a world of a progress.” He smiled, looking me right in the eyes. “You’re my very first friend in the world, Teacup.”
It sounded juvenile; our conversation sounded absolutely juvenile. Everything sounded silly, yet the impact it made on me was indescribable. I truly felt honored. A friend. I was a Demon’s first real friend. What a feat when I wasn’t even trying to be his friend nor trying to make him my friend. I was in awe. At that very second, if he asked me to tell him all my secrets to prove that I valued him as a friend, I would’ve done so without a second thought.
“What do you say, Gracie?” he prompted with crafty charm. It was clear that he knew his argument had worked. “Do you want to answer my question or should we stop being friends?”
“I can’t remember much about my past,” I shared slowly, staring at the rainy road ahead. I felt vulnerable opening up, but I suppose that was how you were supposed to feel when confiding in a friend. I felt vulnerable, but also completely safe.
“Everything about that night in the interrogation room, I can remember clearly. But everything before that moment, I cannot recall at all. It all feels like a blur. I do not know if they are my memories or my imagination.” My jaw tightened while I traced the water streaks on my side of the window. The rain was violently pouring over the car, completely drenching the road. “It’s really difficult to explain. I can remember bits and pieces of memories, but those feel like a dream. It feels like I never truly lived that life. I just can’t remember how I felt during those moments and I can’t put those sequences of blurs together. It feels like whatever it was that stole a piece of my soul . . . stole my childhood along with it.”
“You’re saying you feel absolutely nothing when you think about your family?”
“Nothing,” I confirmed emotionlessly. Once my own words rolled over me, I smiled self-deprecatingly. “How sick is that? How sick is it that I can’t form any emotions for them when I was the one who killed them? How is it possible that I can show the slightest emotions for the strangers at Sanctuary and a puppy that you gave me, but I can’t show any attachment towards my own family members?” I ran my fingers through my hair with an exasperated sigh. “I really am a Source of Evil. No human with their entire soul intact could be this heartless.”
“You can’t help how you feel,” voiced Eclipse. He eyed me briefly before following the path of the road and going up a small slope. “Sometimes no matter how much we wish for it, we cannot stray from what is in our nature. If you aren’t inclined to care about your family, then that’s the card that you have been dealt. There’s no point in being saddened by things you cannot control.”
I remained silent for the longest time, simply listening to rain pelting over the car. I allowed myself to soak in his words, and even though I didn’t tell him, I felt better from opening up. It was nice to be able to confide in someone, share your problems, and not have them get on their moral high horse and judge you.
After a few seconds of reconciling with the fucked up relationship—or lack thereof—I had with my dead family, I continued the conversation. I became curious about Eclipse’s relationship with his family.
“Are you close to your brothers?” I inquired, casting the spotlight onto him.
He laughed, finding humor in my question. “We don’t necessarily have family dinners.”
“What was the order of the births again?”
“Pride, Wrath, Envy, Greed, Gluttony, Sloth, and myself.”
I reflected upon Eclipse’s relationship with his older brother, Sloth. We had turned to him for help when we realized that someone had stolen a part of my soul. He scared the shit out of me when I met him, but he was still cordial enough to help his brother. Although they represented different sins and had different physical appearances—Sloth resembled a geeky college student while Eclipse resembled a gorgeously flawless Greek God—the one common denominator they shared was that they had overbearing personalities. I had the sinking feeling that similar to Eclipse and Sloth, the rest of the Devil’s sons were just as arrogant and insufferable.
“Must’ve been a pain growing up with six older brothers,” I commented, envisioning what an explosive household that would be.
Eclipse laughed again. In the background, the Rav4 growled in desperation, its engine fighting to take us uphill without collapsing in exhaustion. For the first time today, he was truly amused by my words. “Oh, you have no idea.”
“Are you only close to Sloth?” I continued to ask, truly wanting to understand his relationship with his family.
Eclipse shook his head. He didn’t appear to want to talk about his family, but for me, he did so anyway. “I’m civil with Sloth and I’m relatively civil with my other older brother, Gluttony.” He grinned at the reminder of his other brothers. “I’m not on particularly good terms with Wrath, Envy, and Greed. Out of all my brothers, the one I’m closest to is my eldest brother—Pride.”
I stared at him quizzically. The respect in his voice was unmistakable. I had never heard it before, not even when he spoke about his own father.
“If you’re so close to him, why did you try to overthrow him as well?” I blurted without filter.
I regretted my impulsive delivery, but fortunately, Eclipse didn’t seem to mind my question.
“My eldest brother has been very . . . busy . . . which is why he asked Lyna to help watch over me. My brother’s distraction with his extracurricular activities has rendered him neglectful in matters pertaining to our monarchy.” A muscle leapt in his sculpted jaw, indicating what a touchy subject this was for him. “In my mind, when I attempted to overthrow the monarchy, I believed he would understand the political motivation behind that. I believed he would understand that I was trying to do what’s right for my Kingdom, and of course, what’s right for me.”
“What was his reaction?”
“Don’t know,” he provided with a halfhearted shrug. The disappointment in his voice was irrefutable. “Like I said, he’s busy taking care of his own stuff. He does not busy himself with the monarchy’s business.”
I gave him a stupefied look. “What could be more important than his Kingdoms?”
Eclipse favored me with a concurring smile. He heavily appreciated my outlook on how one should view their monarchy.
“That was what I said too, but as you may have discerned from meeting Sloth, not all of my brothers are fueled by the responsibility to better their Kingdoms.” Disappointment shrouded his face. “Sloth, Gluttony, and Pride are the three brothers who have a very flexible attitude towards their throne. In their minds, they are either satisfied with their position in life, are too lazy to want more, or see no value in becoming the sole monarch in a powerful Kingdom such as Hell.”
He sighed. “They are very unlike myself and my three other brothers—all of whom have the same power-hungry mentality as me. The only difference between us is that they are more obedient towards the will of my father. For them, if my father intended his monarchy to be ruled over by his seven sons, then this command will be upheld without exception.”
He laughed dryly, bitterness encasing every inch of his voice upon the reminder of his hibernating father.
“My father, even if he hasn’t been around for millenniums now, still wields insurmountable power over us. Everyone knows that a divided monarchy is weak, provisional at best. Only a sole monarch has absolute power. My father knew this before he went into hibernation, hence the reason why he created seven of us as opposed to one of us. We are merely tools used to keep his throne warm before he comes back and reclaims his monarchy.” The resentment mounted in his voice. “The truth is: we’re nothing but pieces on a chess board for him—pawns used to keep his Kingdom as sustainable and as peaceful as possible before he makes his return.” A scoff escaped him before he added, “That is, if he ever makes his return.”
“You’ve never met him, right?” I asked quietly, getting chills from simply talking about his father.
Eclipse shook his head. “No.”
“And no one has heard anything from him since your birth?”
“Nothing.”
“How do you guys know that he’s still alive then?”
“We don’t,” he replied as a strong wind rattled against the car. “My father has become something of a higher power in our world—one where his own race is no longer sure of his existence. Yet they have faith in him like humans have faith in the God above. Faith that he will be their savior and return to them when the time is right.” His voice took on a darker tone. “Like the God in your world, in mine, my father’s existence—or lack of existence—is the reason for wars and segregation in our world. Some believe that he will return, some believe he is long dead, and others believe that he simply no longer cares. Whatever the case, these different beliefs are the source of the fractures in the world he created and the reason why his sons are at war with one another.”
I angled to face him, intrigued by everything he shared. “What do you believe?”
Several heartbeats of silence passed between us, giving Eclipse time to recollect his thoughts.
“I believe that he is gone. If he isn’t, then he should burn in the pits of Hell for leaving his new world in such disarray.”
I gazed at him in amazement. It continued to astound me that Eclipse was so unlike his brothers and that he was so resentful towards his father. “You have absolutely no loyalty towards your father?”
“The only allegiance I have is to myself,” he said without hesitation or shame. “Since he is the main factor that’s keeping me from having the throne to myself, then yes, I would say that I have no loyalty towards him.” He chuckled, groaning miserably to himself. “This is why I’m such a hated Prince in my world. The war I brought forth is inadvertently seen as a war against everything that embodies my father. In a world like Hell, such disloyalty towards Lucifer is viewed as an abomination. It’s simply unacceptable and unforgivable.”
“What if he comes out of hibernation?” I asked to play Devil’s advocate. “You’re not afraid of him punishing you for trying to overthrow his monarchy? Basically trying to overthrow him?”
Humor sheathed Eclipse’s features. He showcased absolutely no fear in his voice. “No. Very little fazes me and the possible return of my father doesn’t scare me either. I couldn’t care less.”
“You yearn for the throne that much?” I couldn’t help but ask.
“I may have been raised a Prince, but I was born to be a King,” he replied simply, honestly. “It is not in my nature to be ruled over by anyone, and my father isn’t an exception.” Another stretch of silence swept over us before he laughed, finding irony in everything he said. He turned to me with an entertained smile. “Like father like son, right, Gracie?”
“It would make sense that since your father tried to overthrow God from his throne, in the future, his youngest son would endeavor to do the same to him.” An entertained laugh flowed from me. “Such interesting family dynamics you have.”
“I guess that’s a common trait we share, Teacup,” he replied with much amusement. “As I have said before, beings like us are not created to care about someone more than ourselves. We are flawed, self-serving, and solitary creatures in every sense of the word. We were born alone, we’re meant to lead life alone, and when it all comes full circle, we’re meant to die alone.” Another bout of laughter poured from him. “Which is why I
said that it is a world of a progress that we consider each other friends. Given our propensity to be anything but a friend to someone, the concession we give each other is a monumental one.”
I concealed a smile, warmed by his words.
“You’re probably the most dangerous friend I could have,” I whispered unthinkingly.
Although a bitter smile touched his lips, nothing but warmth teemed in his eyes. “I already consider you to be the most dangerous friend I’ll ever have.”
I curiously tilted my head at him. “What’s so dangerous about me?”
He smirked, looking away as if I had demonstrated his point. “Exactly.”
I smiled quizzically at him and the peculiarity that was our relationship. It was ironic that a Demon could make me feel more human emotions than I had ever felt in my twenty years of existence.
Creak.
I was ready to interrogate him for a more specific answer as to why he considered me to be such a “dangerous friend” when my dilapidated Rav4 came to an unexpected stop. The engine silenced as the car slumped pitifully on the road.
Uh oh.
“You have got to be kidding me,” Eclipse angrily groaned once my car ruined the companionable moment we shared. In a fit of indignation, he attempted to turn on the engine again. The car elicited a dismal sputter before it died completely.
Horrified, we opened our doors, ran out in the rain with our umbrellas, and propped the car’s hood up. We stood dumbly together, gaping at all the steam that was rising from the engine of my car.
In that stupefied silence, Eclipse faced me. A frown troubled his handsome face as his black umbrella sheltered him against the pelting rain.
“This is all your fault, Teacup. I knew this piece of shit car was going to screw us over.”
I bit my lower lip in embarrassment, holding on tightly to my umbrella to keep it from flying away in the wind. I stared at the engine that still had smoke rising from it and then returned my gaze to him. “Can you fix it?”
He shot me a disbelieving look. “Do I look like Houdini to you, Gracie?”