Offering a contrived smile that was faker than plastic, Kina thoughtfully said, “Now it’s explained why the two of you get along so well. Thank you for your pearls of wisdom, Chanel. It wasn’t Missy’s intention to offend Grace, but I could see how it came off that way.” She turned to me, her expression as sweet as sugar. “I’m sorry about this, Grace. Missy got carried away. She didn’t mean to offend you in any way. I hope you understand that.”
I gave her a fake smile that rivaled her own. “I know you guys didn’t mean it like that. It’s okay. I’m not mad.”
“Good. You’re always so sweet, Grace. Thanks for not harboring any hard feelings.”
I presented her with another fake smile, and Kina nodded back before glancing at her cell phone.
“Anyway, we need to get going now. The girls and I still have to help plan for our church event.” Her eyes rested on me as the rest of the girls started to head for the exit. “Have a great dinner.”
“It was nice meeting you, Chanel,” said Dawn, her eyes glittering with warmth. It was apparent that Dawn and Ara’s opinions of Coco had morphed from a negative one to an extremely positive one. She looked from me to Ara. “The four of us should hang out together soon.”
A smile bloomed across Coco’s face. It was her first genuine smile of the night. “That’d be nice, Dawn. I’d like that.”
“My place then,” Ara whispered so that Missy and Kina wouldn’t hear. “I’ll text you guys the details.”
“Okay, Ara,” I responded, smiling at the enigmatic tone in her voice.
I knew that they felt guilty about how Missy and Kina treated me, but I hoped that my smile would assure them that I wasn’t upset with them. I understood the tough spot they were in. It was between their childhood friends and me, and that type of predicament would suck for anyone.
With a whisper of apology, Ara and Dawn each gave me a kiss on the cheek, wished me a good night, and waved goodbye to us. From our seats, Coco and I watched as they filed out of the restaurant with their takeout.
“What a bunch of bitches,” Coco grumbled after they disappeared from our vantage points, referring to Kina and Missy.
“You actually stood up for me.” I blinked in shock, giving my delayed reaction now that our audience was gone.
“Just because I think you’re annoying and boring doesn’t mean that I dislike you,” Coco told me in a matter-of-fact tone. She took a big gulp from her Piña Colada.
“Well, thank you for standing up for me.” I smiled awkwardly, not knowing how to act around her now. Just because she stood up for me didn’t make us best friends. However, it did make her a better person in my book. “That was really considerate of you.”
Although she shrugged carelessly, I could tell she was happy that I acknowledged her thoughtfulness.
“That sucky Creator of mine did charge me to watch over you,” she offered lightly. “I guess protecting you from mean girls is also part of the job.” She looked me over, her features seemingly exhausted from all the religious talk. “I’ll forgo my diet and order cakes and more alcohol if you do it too,” she bargained, the desperate light in her eyes matching mine.
Something about the religious talk had made her completely miserable and she was desperate to escape it.
“Okay,” I beamed, excited to eat junk food.
The tofu and salad did not fill my stomach, and after the tough interaction I had with Missy and Kina, I needed all the fatty food I could get. Not to mention, I hadn’t been able to enjoy someone’s misery in too long. Since Coco was radiating a high level of misery, it seemed only fitting that I reveled in her sorrow.
Coco tiredly waved our waitress over. Under her breath, she quietly muttered, “I guess you’re not so boring after all.”
●●●
After a few hours, I had stopped eating and drinking. I had also come to the consensus that it was no longer enjoyable to be in Coco’s company. The alcohol no longer made her miserable; it just made her irrational. In a blurring succession, drink after drink disappeared into her mouth, and time and time again, she would order more. It got so extreme that I felt obligated to intervene.
“Maybe you should stop drinking,” I suggested, attempting to grab the glass from her.
It just occurred to me that she was my only protector for the night. I was only screwing myself over by allowing her to get drunk. Who was going to watch out for me if some psycho attacked me? After realizing this mistake, I was now trying desperately to rectify it. Regrettably, Coco was not a willing participant in this endeavor.
“No, you little midget. No!” she slurred, nearly pushing me off the booth. She ripped the glass cup from my grasp, spilling a couple drops of her Piña Colada on my vintage Chanel dress.
“This is one of a kind!” I wailed, showing more concern for my dress than for Coco and her sanity. I was already poor. I couldn’t afford any more pretty dresses, and I was horrified that one of my favorite white dresses now stunk of alcohol.
I whipped my head back to her. Blinded with the need for revenge, I angrily grabbed the Tabasco sauce on our table and ruthlessly poured the contents of the bottle into her next mixed drink. Callously, as she was too busy finishing what was left of the drink she had spilled onto me, I moved the mixed drink close to her.
Unaware of the shadiness I displayed, she gulped down the mixed drink, and that was it.
“Bleeuuh!”
Her cheeks blew up like a blowfish, and with the speed of an Olympic sprinter, she gunned out of the booth and made a beeline for the bathroom, eliciting gagging sounds on the way there.
I hadn’t planned on running after her because I honestly couldn’t care less about Coco. However, when I saw people stare at me from across the room, judging me for being a bad friend, I muttered a curse to myself. To save face, I ran after her.
I poked my head into the women’s bathroom.
“Coco?”
From beneath one of the stalls, I spied two knees kneeling before a toilet. I gently pushed the door open. I stepped in just in time to hear all the beautiful sounds of someone vomiting their entire dinner out.
Coco’s normally tidy brown hair was falling all over the place. I felt bad standing there watching the poor Demon puke her guts out. I thought about how she stood up for me and felt worse. I owed her. It was only right that I helped her out.
“Fuck my life,” I wailed quietly, gathering her hair with one hand to prevent the vomit from touching it.
With the other hand, I gently moved my hand up and down her back to help her feel a bit better. She continued her love affair with the toilet as I did this. After another ten minutes of her puking her guts out, I helped her clean up at the sink. Once we determined that Coco was presentable, I gave her a breath mint. Together, we returned to our table.
“What kind of Demon throws up from drinking alcohol?” I asked judgmentally.
I nudged the untouched glass of water over to Coco, motioning for her to drink it.
“I’m a lightweight,” she grumbled tiredly. She obediently took a sip.
“Coco, I have to ask,” I began while we waited for our check. The curiosity hadn’t evaded me. Since she seemed out of it, I thought it was a good opportunity to probe her for answers. “How is it possible that you’re so religious, but you’re a Demon?”
If looks could kill, the glare she hurled in my direction would have buried me six feet under.
I would normally recoil in fear if a Demon glared at me with such spite, but I felt comfortable around Coco now, so much so that I continued to sit there, quietly staring at her. I refrained from using any persuasive words for her to share her story with me, and I posited that this was the way to Coco’s glaring heart. After a full second of me gazing expectantly at her, she softened up.
“I believe in God’s existence, but that doesn’t mean I have the conviction or strength to rely on God’s existence to help me through my life.”
She took a moment to swirl her water around wit
h her black straw. I recognized the emotion pouring out of her: regret. She took in a deep breath, avoiding eye contact by staring at the floating ice in her cup.
“Let’s just say that I had a really tough life and that the only one I prayed to was God. I desperately prayed to him and when he couldn’t deliver fast enough, Phix appeared, telling me that I could either wait a lifetime for God to answer or I could take matters into my own hands.” She raised her eyes to meet mine. “Long story short, here I am . . . paying for taking the easy way out. You reap what you sow. Now I’m stuck babysitting you as punishment for selling my soul to a Demon.”
I smiled evenly, not bothering to feel sympathetic towards her. If she was foolish enough to take the easy way out and make a deal with a Demon to be rich and famous, then, as she said, she would have to reap what she sowed. Stupidity wasn’t an ailment. In her case, it was a choice.
Despite not feeling sympathy, I still empathized with what she went through.
“Well, you’re not the only one who’s stuck in this situation,” I mumbled, thinking about my own predicament. I was stuck with being a Source that everyone wanted to either own, torture, eat, or kill. My life sucked too.
“Yeah,” Coco agreed mindlessly, taking another sip from her water, “it must suck for his Dark Majesty to be punished and sent here to convert you.”
I felt like Coco had just picked up a cube of ice from her drink and slid it down my spinal column.
My face drained of blood.
I turned to her slowly. “What did you just say?”
What the hell did she mean by that? How was Eclipse “punished” with me when he chose to come here for me?
Coco’s eyes broadened like an owl’s. Sobriety began to glimmer through the cracks of her once inebriated eyes.
Trying to play it off, she faked a high-pitched and drunk voice by saying, “What? What did I just say? I don’t remember.”
I wouldn’t let it go. “You just said that Eclipse was punished with me.”
“No, I didn’t,” she lied, avoiding eye contact. The misery emanating from her was undeniable. She had fucked up and she was trying to cover her ass.
It was too late.
She had screwed up around the wrong person. I wasn’t going to let this go.
“Coco,” I persisted. “I just frigging held your hair while you threw up. We may hate each other, but considering the non-biological sister factor in what I did for you, you owe me.” When she didn’t say anything, I viciously added, “Screw it. Open your eyes wide right now. I’m going to stab your eye with my pencil and then squirt lemon juice into it!”
“Okay, okay!” Coco acquiesced, obviously knowing that I was capable of executing my threat. She gave a defeated sigh. “Phix said that his Dark Majesty is a Fallen Demon.”
“Yes, I know that much,” I replied, impatiently gesturing for her to go on.
“Well, if you’re a Fallen Demon, then you are punished. His powers were stripped from him and because he wants his powers back, they made him a deal—one that is almost sure to fail.”
The drumming of my heart expedited in dread. “They assigned me to him?” I whispered in a broken voice. “Without him prompting them to?”
Coco nodded. “They told him that a powerful Source is still in existence and is going to reach the age of maturity. They wanted him to take your soul and convert you.”
I felt the breath escape me. “How did Eclipse react?”
“He was pissed. Out of all his brothers, he was the one who looked down upon and hated the human race the most. He was furious that he was forced to come to Earth to babysit some worthless human. It was said that he got so angry that the storms and flood that hit the country was a result of his rage.”
I froze, remembering clearly how violent the weather was in the days before I met him. The weather was like that because he was angry that he was stuck with me?
Nausea coiled in my stomach.
Worthless human?
A severe case of vertigo hit me.
“He told me that he chose me and that the reason why they stripped his powers was because he didn’t want to hurt me.” Strain quivered in my miserable voice. “He said that their task for him was to find something a Fallen Angel sent to Earth. He told me that he went to them and told them that he wanted me, that it was his idea to come here and convert me in the first place.”
“Well, the power thing is true. If he had more than 3/10 of his power, then he’d kill you.” Coco sighed. “And the Genesis thing is the actual big trophy that he’s after. I mean, no one in their right mind would come to Earth to try and convert you. It is well-known that converting a Source would be a death sentence. Everyone wants to kill the Source, and the Demon stuck with the conversion is stuck with that Source until the end, which pretty much means death. That was why his Elders gave you to him. It’s because you’re his punishment. If he didn’t accept you, then he would have no chance of coming back to power. So he took the assignment begrudgingly, and now here he is, stuck in a world he looks down upon . . . with you.”
I felt like Eclipse had indirectly punched me in the gut and spat on my face. I had never felt more small and insignificant than I did sitting in that booth, soaking in Coco’s words. I ruminated over how Eclipse behaved around me, how seductive he was, and how caring he showed himself to be.
It was all a lie.
My stomach wrenched at the recollection of me foolishly calling him my first “real friend” in the world and me being so worried about him when he went into hibernation.
I was so stupid.
Of course he didn’t choose me. He was punished with me. He was only nice and patient with me because he needed me happy. He needed me to trust him and to grow attached to him so that when he asked for my soul, I would willingly give it to him. Only then could he return to power and get rid of me like the trash I was to him.
I was never the one who was stuck with him . . .
He was stuck with me all along.
I closed my eyes, feeling my heart sink further down. I replayed Lyna’s words at the hospital. I had told her that weeks prior, I couldn’t wait to get rid of him.
Her response to me was, “Funny, weeks ago, he said the same thing about you.”
I disregarded it as meaning nothing, but I saw the truth now. Lyna was mocking me. She knew the truth the entire time. Then, I recalled Sloth and Tony. They knew as well. That was probably why they found it hilarious when I ran into their restaurant, literally begging them to help Eclipse. This must’ve been why Tony called me a fool when I called Eclipse my friend.
Everyone knew but me.
This whole time, I thought Eclipse cared about me, if only remotely. I assumed everyone else saw this too. But the truth was that everyone knew he was faking his affections towards me all along.
Everyone knew he was punished with me except for me.
Stupefaction exhausted me of the ability to form a coherent reaction.
I was just numb.
I felt like I had been caught naked in a stadium filled with people who had been watching me the entire time, finding entertainment in my stupidity. My chest tightened as a sickening humiliation swept over me. Lyna, Sloth, Tony, Phix, Coco . . . and Eclipse.
Everyone had been laughing at me all along.
I was so embarrassed, so angry, and so overwhelmed with my emotions that I didn’t know what to do.
And Coco was right there . . . like a sitting duck.
My rage getting the best of me, I couldn’t help but take it all out on her.
Bam!
“Ahhh!” she shrieked after I punched her dead in the eye before taking off, my eyes threatening to spill out tears of shame.
“Wait! Where are you going?!” Coco shouted as I took off.
I could hear her frenzied footsteps chase after me.
She was a fast runner, but I was faster and much more cunning.
Once I was outside, I hid in the corner behind an alley. When I saw Co
co run out of the restaurant, I ducked my head down behind the shadows.
She looked from left to right, considering her options. By now, OinkOink had stirred from his sleep from all the movement. He poked his little furry head out of my bag. Just when he was about to bark in confusion, I placed an index finger before my lips as my way of telling him to be quiet. Blinking at me and being the good puppy that he was, he held in his bark.
I turned back to Coco just in time to see her sprint in the opposite direction.
After watching her disappear, I came out of hiding and dimly stared at the busy street around me. I had been on this block more times than I could count, but I had never felt more lost.
I didn’t know where to go.
My only sanctuary in this city was my apartment, and Eclipse was there. My lower lip trembled in humiliation. How could I go there when his presence would only remind me of my own stupidity?
I let out a shaky breath.
I had to go somewhere Coco wouldn’t think to find me, somewhere that was safe enough for me to be alone. At once, the perfect place appeared in my mind. It was safe, close by, and unsuspecting.
It was the perfect secret haven.
“You are finally here . . .”
19: Broken Pride
The student lounge was packed when I arrived.
I pitifully sat myself on an open couch while munching on chips and watching whatever was on TV. The truth was that I really wasn’t paying attention to what I was doing. All I could think about was Eclipse. I mulled over our entire relationship, how much he had lied to me, and how stupid I felt to have fallen for his deception. I had always prided myself on my intelligence, for my ability to see people’s true colors. Leave it to a Demon to make me feel like the biggest chump in the world.
“Hi Grace.”
My traffic of thoughts skidded to a halt at the greeting. A surprised smile illuminated my lips when I was faced with Shin.
“Hi . . . Hi Shin,” I uttered, rousing out of my pathetic thoughts about Eclipse. I forced an even bigger smile to appear on my face as I returned his greeting. I didn’t want to appear miserable in front of him.