"Yeah…"
"It's all good, have fun," he smiled getting off the bed.
"Okay, we'll see you later." I laughed and walked out to see Jaime being let in by Jenny. "Hey baby." I smiled closing the bedroom door behind me.
"Hey…you guys ready to head out?," Jaime asked walking in and closing the door.
"Yeah hang on," I laughed walking into the kitchen and pulled out a second bottle of water. That's when Victor walked out of the bedroom holding his shirt and shoes with the top button of his jeans as well as his belt open making a show of getting dressed. Jaime's eyes looked him up and down then turned to look at me. I remember thinking, 'this is going to be a long tour.'
Our next show would be tommorow night in New Orleans and it would definitely be interesting.
Chapter 8
New Orleans
The next morning I woke up in my bed on our bus. I took a deep breath with my face pressed to the pillow and hugged it to my chest. It still smelled of damp forest and the beach just like Victor. I was so relaxed. He was right, his scent was like a drug. It calmed and filled me with fuzzy thoughts. I closed my eyes and could picture him perfectly. I laid still in my dream world, comfortable and safe. Jenny was up and dressed already. She sat reading a book or I thought at first glimpse that she was reading, I realized quickly what was in her hands, my sketch pad. She held it open to a life like drawing of Victor standing naked in front of a window with his back to the room. It was done in charcoal.
"Good morning sweetie!" Jenny smiled.
"Good morning." I rolled over onto my back.
"Please tell me he modeled for this!" She laughed.
"Nope, sorry, it was a dream."
"You dream about him a lot." It did not sound like question so I did not answer. "He does have a great ass in your dreams."
"He has a great ass in real life." I sat up hugging the pillow to me.
"Okay…that's his isn't it?" Jenny pointed to the red pillow in my arms.
"It helps me sleep, we traded pillows last night," I answered pressing my face into the softness again taking his scent into me.
"Why not just sleep on his bus."
"We're just friends, if there is no reason then why should I?," I answered getting to my feet.
"When do we get to New Orleans?"
"1 pm."
"So, two hours…"
"Is it really eleven good god!" I groaned as I gathered my things.
"Oh yeah…by the way your man is out with Jessie and Devon."
"Victor?" I was confused.
"No…Jaime."
"What? When?" I slowly turned to look at her.
"He got on at breakfast." She answered as I got dressed and cleaned up as fast as I could. When I got out of the bathroom I walked into my bedroom to find Jaime laid out on the bed and Jenny was nowhere to be seen.
"Hey babe! You look amazing!" Jaime laughed sitting up.
"Hi…" I walked out of the bathroom wearing a sports bra and little gym shorts, as I pulled my hair back into a ponytail.
"Why don't you come here?," Jaime said holding his hands out to me.
"Um, Jaime…I don't." I started when he got to his feet and closed the distance between us, "what are you doing here?" I struggled to stay passive in his arms.
"I missed you…" He smiled. He was so much like Victor, his body was perfect, arms, chest, and back covered in tattoos, pierced ears and his lip. His hair was shorter but his coloring was the same. He held me closer pressing our bodies together.
"You're just horny," I laughed; I had to convince my terrified mind that this was Victor, that I was not in danger.
"Maybe," He whispered and leaned into me and softly kissed my neck. "You wanna do something about it."
"We talked about this last night…I like you…but…I have to take it slow." He was still kissing my neck running his hands across my bare skin.
"Can't we just play a little…we'll keep all our clothes on." He whispered then set his teeth into my skin firmly and my knees began to shake. "I know you want to." Without another word his lips closed over mine. He kissed me smoothly and soft, that's when I noticed he was not wearing his lip ring which helped me to tell myself it was Victor. Carefully he laid me back onto the bed, he was good at this. I found myself on my back with my head on Victor's pillow with my eyes closed and I kept them closed as he kissed me. He was careful to stay within the boundaries he set, he would but I could tell he was not getting what he wanted out of this. Before too long he started to press his body into mine rubbing, almost grinding. I sighed but my breath was coming in gasps as his lips ran to my neck. From this angle I could open my eyes and still truly believe it was Victor, even as his hands reached up to cup my breasts, as they kneaded my soft flesh bringing a quiet cry from my lips, but what I said is what stopped him cold. "Ah…Vic!" I cried out and instantly he stopped and pushed himself up into a push-up position.
"Alex…" Jaime was dumbfounded.
"What?" I blinked a few times to clear my eyes; my mind was still telling my eyes that he was Victor.
"You…you just called me Vic…while…Alex you know I won't…" He trailed off climbing off of me.
"What…did I do?" I played dumb hoping he'd let it go.
"Alex, are you fucking Victor?"
"No, I'm not."
"You were just thoroughly enjoying my body, hell I think if I opened my pants a few seconds ago…you called me Victor in the middle of all this." Jaime seemed more upset than I expected him to be.
"I'm not having sex with anyone." I answered getting off the bed.
"Well…that was a telling statement!" Jaime said watching me.
"What the hell does that mean?"
"So you think that I'll ever gain enough affection from you that you'll break this celibacy?"
"God damnit! Jaime, I'm trying. I know you don't understand why I'm so careful, but if you want to have a relationship with me you have to be patient…," I fired back.
"Why? Help me understand!" Jaime crossed his arms. That's when my cell phone on the end table started to ring playing my favorite song. We both went for the phone but I closed my hand around the tiny silver phone first. Jaime saw the caller id before I could snatch the phone away.
"Do not answer that if you value my sanity."
"Grow up please!" I sneered and answered the phone. "Hey Vic."
"Where are you?"
"Still moving…not sure."
"Ask…" Victor asked and Jaime shouted.
"Hang up! We're having an argument!"
"Is that Jaime? What the hell is he doing there?" Victor sounded concerned and slightly angry.
"Apparently he switched buses a few hours ago."
"What are you fighting about?" Victor asked.
"Sex of course!" Jaime shouted.
"Whoa! You had sex with him?" Victor sounded very upset.
"No, I did not."
"Oh! I get it...Good girl." Victor laughed.
"I better go…" I sighed.
"Hey…Johnny wants to meet Jenny so go ahead and meet me in his dressing room." Victor spoke quickly then hung up.
"Now! I do not have to tell you anything and if you do not want to give me time to feel good about you . we can call this off." I stood my ground.
"Do you like me?" Jaime asked looking me in the eyes.
"Yes…I think so…I haven't known you long enough to have an answer to that question and so what if I seem to have a childish crush on our boss and one of my best friends. Get over it." I continued as I felt the bus stop and the engine turned off.
"That's it?" Jaime said sounding almost heart broken.
"That's up to you but I have things to do," I answered pulling on a tank top and slipping my feet into flip flops. I went into the open area of the bus leaving Jaime in the bedroom.
We were finally at the arena for the show and within moments Jenny and I were walking the backstage hallways searching for Johnny's dressing room.
"You really calle
d him Victor?" Jenny laughed.
"I didn't mean to…I was…"
"You were imagining Jaime was Vic weren't you?"
"Yes…god! Sorry, it's the only way I could think up to stay calm. Where did you disappear to, to leave us alone?"
"I figured you'd be okay. He did not act especially pushy," Jenny answered.
"He does look a lot like Vic, that was most likely why you gave him the time of day." She continued.
"Nuh uh!"
"Sure it was…you did always like to fuel your forbidden fantasies."
"Whatever." I rolled my eyes and as we turned a corner I heard Victor's laugh ahead "finally…dear God!" I smiled. We walked quickly to the open door where Victor stood in the doorway. I walked over to him and wrapped my arms around his waist from behind. Victor turned and wrapped his hands over mine.
"Hey chica!" Victor smiled.
"Hi!" I laughed and shifted to the side of Victor keeping my arms around his waist.
"Go girl; keep that boy beggin for it." Johnny laughed.
"John, let me introduce you to Jenny!" I smiled pulling Victor and me out of the doorway. Jenny walked into the room.
"Come on! Let's go chill in my dressing room," Victor laughed and steered me away from the doorway. We headed into Victor's dressing room where he plopped himself onto a couch in front of a big screen TV. I walked overand pulled a bottle of soda out of the cooler. I sat in the crook of the couch and put my feet up beside me. He started flipping channels.
"So…where are the boys?" I asked.
"Oh, John put them on a plane this morning to go see Peg for a while." Victor answered.
"So you think they are…" I trailed off.
"I guarantee that they are already hot and sweaty." Victor laughed.
"Duh…Sorry…" I smiled.
"So you called Jamison my name," Victor said watching my face turn beat red.
"What?...How did you…"
"Voices carry in a hallway." He smiled.
"My God…you…how much did you over hear?" I asked.
"You fantasize about me?" Victor laughed.
"Oh…no…um…" I was so embarrassed.
"It's okay babe…if you ever need to fulfill these fantasies I'm always here for you," Victor laughed.
"Don't make fun of me," I whined.
"I'm not…" Victor's face was serious and he playfully pinned me beneath him to the couch.
"Have you been drinking…?" I took a deep breath.
"What does that matter?" He smiled.
"Wouldn't you know that…?," I started, then met his eyes and was instantly side tracked. I looked into his jade eyes. They were warm and deep I could stare into his eyes forever. I felt my body relax beneath him. I could not take my eyes from his till I caught the sight of his tongue slipping out running over those oh so kissable lips. I watched the slick surface of his lips then looked back into his eyes. "Victor…" I whispered.
"Shh…" He whispered back, running both his hands to my hips. He slipped them under my tank top grasping my bare skin. I watched his eyes as they got closer and then I felt his wet lips against mine. He tasted sweet like whiskey. His tongue pressed against mine, his hands rubbed me, and his body pressed me down into the black leather couch. He felt so warm. His hands crawled up my waist onto my ribs and his lips slid to my neck as I started to breathe in gasps. I could feel how eager he was as he was pressed tight to my body. His mouth was gentle on my throat. I took a deep breath and could not stop myself from gasping out the word "harder…" Without hesitation his mouth started to work harder, sucking, biting, licking but at the same time his hands got more aggressive. His hands were on my body, hot under my clothes, his right under my waist holding me closer to him, the other was closed around my breast bare to his palm, and that's when a loud pounding on the dressing room door snapped us out of our fantasy.
After the show that night was the first opportunity to talk to Jenny. We were all backstage in my dressing room.
"So how was your time with Johnny?" I laughed from behind the changing screen.
"It was great…what did you guys do?," Jenny asked with a devilish grin.
"You must already know otherwise you wouldn't have asked," I countered walking out in my pink and black plaid outfit.
"Yeah, you've both acted wired ever since."
"He's smashed and still drinking. Tonight will be interesting."
"So what happened?"
"Well we were in his dressing room watching TV and talking and he pinned me and kissed me."
"Is that all?" Jenny grinned.
"Um…"
"Cause to me it takes more than a kiss to get one of these," Jenny said pushing my hair behind my shoulder to expose the dark purple hickie on the left side of my neck.
"Oh my God!" I was stunned that I never noticed it before.
"So…"
"Well, we only got to second base?"
"Why'd you stop…?"
"David came and pounded on the door."
"I'm proud of you…you were able to be close to him and not freak out."
"See, that's the strange part normally the only man I can be that close to is Jacob and even then its dicey, but…when my brain is out of it, I feel better, especially around Victor. I don't get it, its like Victor can make the past disappear. I feel like it never happened. I think I love him…"
"Really? So are you and Victor gonna stop dancing around this and call it what it is?"
"I wish…But we can't…All we can be is friends."
"What? Why?"
"Many reasons other than the obvious, if they all are wolves what hope would there be for us. I can't hide what I am forever."
"Oh, I guess you're right…It's too bad…Do you want me to stop?," Jenny started when I cut her off.
"No! If you like Johnny don't change anything because of me…Besides while you have Johnny distracted Victor and I can spend time together. If we can't be more then I'll live with friends." I smiled.
"What?" She laughed watching my face.
"Nothing just thinking." I answered feeling the blush spread cross my face.
"What about Victor were you thinking that now you're blushing…?"
"I was just wondering how far we would've gotten if it wasn't for David," I smiled.
"Well tonight he'll be trashed on the bus maybe I should stay with Johnny and you can keep Vic occupied." Jenny laughed grabbing my duffle.
"Hey I was gonna change…" I spoke up.
"Don't trust me." Jenny laughed.
Johnny knocked on the door to tell us we were loading onto the bus. Johnny invited Jenny and I to spend the night on their bus. We were starting a routine. Johnny and Jenny would get on the bus and disappear into Johnny's room and Victor and I would go into his bedroom and turn on the TV or music anything to drown out the symphony of groaning, moaning and screaming coming from below us. Usually Victor and I would be stone sober but on show nights we would be smashed and most of those nights we would pass out before anything happened but it would not stay that way forever. We all traveled from city to city doing shows then loading back into the buses to keep moving. We were all growing closer the longer we toured. Victor and I were best friends but when those drunken slip ups happened, we didn't act act differently. We just pretended they didn't happen anymore, which I think was less healthy than the panic attacks I used to suffer. Meanwhile Jenny and Johnny looked as if they were only hours from picking out curtains together. Where as Jaime and I were imploding, he was growing tired of waiting for me and to tell you the truth, I was not very careful to keep my Victor fantasies a secret from Jaime. In fact, I would call him Vic. Twice more he gave me the 'have sex with me now or I'm done' speech and needless to say Jamie had to look else where to get his. We lived like this for weeks but when we reached Dallas is when everything would be turned upside down.
Chapter 9
Dallas
We spent the day before Dallas on the bus. Johnny and Victor worked on music and talked.
>
"So have you told her yet?" Johnny asked as he leaned back, stretching his arms above his head.
"No…I can't think of a way to start the conversation…what did you tell Jenny?"
"Nothing…she guessed what we are and asked straight out…But she's not my soul mate…There is a lot less to explain…"
"Do you think she told Alex?"
"Most likely, but you still need to tell Alex yourself and explain all the strangeness to her."
"I will sometime…What am I supposed to say…hey Alex…I'm a werewolf and your my soul mate. I'm not sure what kind of creature we will create but I'm gonna tear all your clothes off, knock you up and bind you to me for the rest of our lives, and if I don't I may finally fall off the deep end…" Victor said handing Johnny a plate with a sandwich on it.
"Or maybe, Alex I love you…Alex, I bet Jenny told you…Alex…What?"
"How do you do that?" Victor asked.
"What?"
"You just say what's on your mind, and yet girls still like you."
"Vic! You still don't realize you treat her differently. Any other girl you would drop your pants and tell her to suck it in front of a crowd of people and not care what anyone thought, but with Alex you're so worried about what she thinks."
"Oh my God!" Victor was obviously annoyed. "Can we drop this…If you do after we're done working, I'll call your little playmate to come over and spend some time with you?"
"Deal…lets get to work then," Johnny said and set into his dinner. They ate dinner and got back to work. After about four hours Victor called Jenny as promised.
"Jenny?"
"Hello Victor…," Jenny answered her cell phone. She was half asleep.
"At the next stop, grab Alex and come over to our bus?," Victor laughed.
"You'll have to carry her. She's dead to the world right now." Jenny answered looking over at me.
"Alright, grab some clothes cause the last stop till tommorow morning is in twenty mintues, I'll come get her you just get the stuff. You guys can stay on our bus tonight."
"Okay…Please tell me Johnny's boys are on David and Mike's bus."
"Would I be telling you to come keep Johnny busy if there were kids on the bus?"
"I didn't think about it that way, sorry."