“And that climbing up to the chapel would put a big strain on her heart,” Graham added. “And if she failed to take her medication, death would be the inevitable result…”
“So it might be murder?”
Graham nodded. “I agree, the whole thing does seem suspicious. Although I can’t begin to imagine who would want an old lady dead. Or why.”
“Murder by ‘natural’ causes,” I said. “Very clever. Who could have done it, though? Josie? Angelica? They must have known about the tablets.”
“Both women certainly had the means and the opportunity,” Graham agreed. “But what about the motive? Why would either of them want to kill Bill’s mother?’
I thought back to the scene we’d witnessed when we arrived. “Angelica wanted Ruby to talk to Bill. Do you remember? Maybe she’d pinned her hopes on Bill’s mum talking him out of getting married, and then when it didn’t work she was angry enough to want Ruby dead. She seems pretty unbalanced. And we saw her running away – that makes her look guilty.”
“Guilty –or afraid. She may have simply found the body. Most people find death somewhat unsettling.”
The terrace we were standing on overlooked the villa’s swimming pool. At that moment Josie came into view. She’d ditched her Greek-goddess outfit and was clad in a gold bikini and matching sandals with killer heels. She seemed to be having some difficulty walking in them, as if she wasn’t used to it, and looked a bit like a kid who’d raided her mother’s wardrobe. She’d clearly decided to go ahead with the planned post-wedding photo shoot despite Bill’s absence, because the man from Hi! magazine was trotting along behind her like a faithful hound. Josie settled herself on a sun lounger and the photographer circled her, snapping from every angle. Maybe she felt obliged to carry on with it. There was probably some sort of contract. Or maybe she was just heartless.
“That’s not her usual look,” I said thoughtfully.
“Isn’t it?” asked Graham. “Is that significant?”
“Could be. She looks kind of casual in most of the photos I’ve seen. Wears jeans nearly all the time. Yet that outfit’s downright trashy. The question is, which image is really her?”
Graham frowned. “Are you suggesting that Josie’s manner of wide-eyed innocence might be assumed?”
“Yes, perhaps it’s an act. It certainly worked on Bill, didn’t it? And now that she’s married him, she’s rich. Maybe those catty things they wrote about her in the papers were true: maybe she really is a money-grabbing little gold-digger. And suppose she had it in for Ruby for some reason?”
“But why would she? Bill’s mother clearly had no control over him.”
“Ruby seemed quite sympathetic to Angelica, though, didn’t she? That might be enough to make Josie angry.”
We weren’t getting anywhere. Nothing made much sense but I couldn’t shake off the gut feeling that those pills had been removed deliberately. My suspicions as to who might be responsible were evenly divided between Josie and Angelica.
“I wish we knew more about Angelica,” I said, frustrated. “I mean, why has she gone so completely bonkers?” I remembered Becca, a friend of my mum’s, who’d gone pretty weird after her husband had walked out on her. Mum had sat up with her night after night having long, anguished discussions around the kitchen table. Becca had been desperate, but nothing like as bad as Angelica. She hadn’t completely fallen apart. “Do you think Angelica was always a bit loopy? Maybe she was like it when they were married. If she’s always been difficult, it might explain why Bill fell for Josie. I wish I knew how to find out.”
There was silence for a while as we both considered the matter. Down below us came the happy sounds of minor celebrities splashing around in the pool. I noticed that Josie didn’t go in the water – she was posing by the edge but seemed reluctant to take the plunge. Perhaps she didn’t want to ruin her perfectly arranged hair.
“Sizal!” I exclaimed suddenly.
“What about him?”
“He used to do Angelica’s hair when she was with Bill. Women talk to their hairdressers, Graham! I bet he can tell us loads about her. Come on!”
I was off, with Graham at my heels like a Hi! photographer, as we ran in search of Sizal Bouffant.
He wasn’t stuffing his face along with Lucia and Hazel and the rest of the make-up and costume crew. He wasn’t splashing in the pool or sipping a drink on the lower terrace. We found Sizal Bouffant in the room where he had adjusted our wigs earlier that day.
And there was a large wasp banging against the glass. Banging and banging, trying to get out.
Sizal wasn’t hysterically begging and pleading for someone to get rid of it. He was lying, perfectly still and perfectly silent, across the chaise longue. His face was red and swollen. Five angry bumps on his cheek and neck had come up where he’d obviously been stung.
Next to him, hanging onto his lifeless arm like a drowning woman clinging to a log, was Angelica.
a sting in the tail
Graham and I stood in the doorway staring at the dead hairdresser and his very-obviously-demented client.
“Get Tessa,” I whispered out of the corner of my mouth. “I’ll stay here.”
Angelica’s eyes were fixed on the wasp that was still battering itself against the window. Quite what I was going to do if she switched her attention to me was anybody’s guess. If she’d attacked, maybe I’d have fought back or maybe I’d have just run away. As it turned out I didn’t need to do either, because at that moment somebody changed the CD that was playing outside. All of a sudden, Bill’s number-one hit – the song he’d written for Josie – pulsed through the distant speakers.
When the opening notes of “Ain’t No Escaping My Love” rang out, Angelica started to scream. And she didn’t stop. She went on and on. I thought my eardrums were going to burst but I didn’t move. Neither did Graham. We were welded to the spot by the hideous sound.
Luckily the noise had the opposite effect on Bill. The room where Ruby’s body was being kept was directly overhead, so he must have heard Angelica’s outburst loud and clear. About thirty seconds later he pushed past us into the room, closely followed by Tessa, his constant shadow.
Bill looked at Sizal, appalled, then turned his attention to the screaming woman. Tessa, meanwhile, felt for Sizal’s non-existent pulse before pulling out her mobile to summon Doctor Psychondakis yet again.
Taking his ex-wife by the shoulders, Bill lifted her to her feet, gave her a gentle shake and said softly, “Angel? Hey, what’s happening?”
Angelica clamped her mouth tight shut. Her eyes flicked open and locked onto Bill’s. There was a moment’s silence. Then she sighed and rested her head on his shoulder, her face against his neck, just the way Josie had done the night before. She looked terribly old and tired as she answered wearily, “Natural causes.”
Bill seemed both horribly embarrassed and totally guilt-stricken. “Say that again, babe?”
“Sizal. He’s allergic. He carries an EpiPen. All his clients know that. He’s supposed to inject himself if he gets stung, but guess what? He left it in his room. Stupid of him, wasn’t it? And now he’s died of natural causes, just like the others. Accidents. All accidents. No one can prove anything, can they?”
Bill glanced around the room, caught my eye and flushed scarlet. Angelica was digging herself into a hole and we both knew it. Give her five seconds, I thought, and she’ll confess to taking the EpiPen, whatever that was. But Bill wasn’t going to give her the chance.
“Hey, babe, you’ve had a shock. Finding him like this – it’s enough to upset anyone,” he soothed. “You don’t know what you’re saying. Come on, let’s get you settled down. We’ll ask the doctor to give you something. Help you sleep. You’ll feel better then. Tessa will sort Sizal out.” He started to lead her away but then we heard the clicking of heels tottering unsteadily down the corridor and suddenly Josie was there in the doorway.
Wearing a skimpy swimsuit on the beach or by the pool is one
thing, but wearing it indoors is different. It was like seeing her standing there in her bra and pants. None of us knew quite where to look.
Josie gasped, horrified, when she caught sight of Sizal. “What happened?” Her eyes darted from the ugly red swellings on his face over to the wasp banging against the window. “Did he get stung or something? Oh my God, is he dead?”
“Yes,” I said.
Angelica laughed. It was high and hard and manic. “He lost his EpiPen. Silly, silly, silly Sizal.”
When Josie saw that Angelica was hanging onto Bill’s hand, her face changed. “Can’t we get rid of her?” she said frostily to her husband. “You don’t have to be Mr Nice Guy any more, Bill. Put her on a plane back to England.”
Bill looked as if there was nothing he’d like more, but he just couldn’t bring himself to be so harsh. “She’s ill,” he sighed. “I can’t just kick her out. There’s no one to take care of her. She might do herself some damage.”
Angelica looked at Bill. “I might,” she said faintly. “Yes. That would be best, wouldn’t it?”
“Oh, for God’s sake!” exploded Josie. “Just go home. You wanted to stop our wedding and you failed. Look,” she said, dangling her left hand – complete with shiny new ring – in front of Angelica’s face. “I’m Mrs Strummer now. Get over it.” She slapped Angelica’s fingers away from Bill and put her arm around him. Bill responded instantly: one touch from Josie and he forgot everything else. He was utterly besotted, everyone could see that. Everyone but Angelica.
“No.” Angelica stood to face Josie. Her voice was suddenly clear and steady. Determined. “I can’t. I won’t. Bill loves me.”
The chorus of “Ain’t No Escaping My Love” came thumping through the speakers outside.
“Hear that?” said Josie. “That’s our song. He wrote it for me.”
“Bill loves me!”
“Get real,” Josie sneered dismissively. Then she turned on those killer heels and wobbled out, Bill powerless to do anything but go along with her.
Angelica sank onto the chaise longue next to Sizal. Her strength seemed to ebb away. She took his dead hand in hers and said confidentially, “She can’t see it, Sizal. She doesn’t know. But I do. If she doesn’t do what I tell her to, she’ll be next!”
beach party
When Doctor Psychondakis arrived, he confirmed Angelica’s assessment: Sizal had died of natural causes. The fact that both he and Ruby had mislaid their life-saving medication was an unfortunate coincidence, something the mainland police would have to be informed of, but nothing more. At a wedding, when everyone has their mind on other things, he said, shrugging … well, it’s not so surprising.
I watched Angelica while the doctor was talking to Tessa and was intrigued by her reaction. Bill’s ex-wife didn’t look like someone who might have just got away with two murders. She looked exhausted. Beaten. When Doctor Psychondakis suggested escorting her back to her room to give her another sedative, she went with him willingly. But before she left, she spoke softly to Tessa.
“You think I don’t know,” she said, putting her hand gently on the PA’s arm and patting it sympathetically. “I can see how you feel. But I’m Bill’s wife. He’s never loved anyone but me.”
Tessa went beetroot red and a few incoherently mumbled words fell out of her mouth, but Angelica didn’t stay to listen.
When she had gone, Tessa turned on us. “The woman’s mad,” she snapped. “She’s talking utter nonsense. Don’t you dare go repeating any of it.”
“We don’t make a habit of repeating lies and gossip, Ms Whittam,” Graham said indignantly.
Tessa grunted but seemed satisfied. When her back was turned, Graham and I exchanged a swift, confused glance. We didn’t say anything.
The two fresh corpses had given Tessa a whole load of extra work to do. She had to arrange for them to be removed and put into cold storage before they were eventually flown home and given decent burials, plus there would be a mountain of paperwork to get through. However, she seemed remarkably untroubled by it.
While Tessa got on with it all we went off to check on Graham’s mum: we knew that if Sally heard that we’d discovered another body, she’d be beside herself with worry.
You might have thought that two people dropping dead would dampen the party spirit, but it seemed to have the reverse effect. As word of Sizal’s demise got around, everyone suddenly seemed desperate to live life to the full. On our way to the kitchen, Graham and I saw some guests throwing themselves into the pool, fully clothed, while others were dancing furiously to Bill’s music. They all seemed to be concentrating as hard as they possibly could on Having a Good Time. Josie had persuaded Bill to sit with her by the pool and she was feeding him grapes while Kelly watched enviously from the shadows. He still looked a bit pale but was obviously trying his best not to spoil Josie’s day. He had a villa full of guests, and being the lovely man he was, he clearly felt obliged to look after them.
When we finally found Graham’s mum she was up to her eyeballs in preparations for the evening party, but news of Sizal’s death had still managed to reach her. “Just stay away from Josie and Angelica,” she begged us. “Tessa too. They all seem to be barking mad. I wish I’d never taken on this job! Thank God we can go home tomorrow.”
We were quite happy to do as Sally asked. To escape from the crowds, Graham and I decided to go down to the little beach I’d seen from my window. After changing into our swimming things we trotted down the cliff path. Our cupid costumes had been horrifically hot, so it was a big relief to wade into the cool, clear sea. We had a bit of a swim and then took the pedalo so we could have a good long talk with no danger of anyone eavesdropping.
“What’s going on?” I exclaimed as we began to pedal around in a large, lazy circle.
“They were both unfortunate accidents,” Graham reminded me. “You heard the doctor.”
“You don’t believe it, though, do you?”
“Given all that we’ve seen and heard, the chances of both deaths being truly accidental are on the slim side,” Graham admitted.
“So what we have to figure out is who would want them both dead. And why? What about Tessa? She seems to have a bit of a thing for Bill.”
“Along with my mother and yours, and about ninety-nine per cent of the world’s female population,” Graham reminded me. “Surely that doesn’t give her a motive for murder?”
“I suppose not. She had the opportunity, though.”
Graham nodded. “But how about the means?”
I considered. “I don’t reckon Tessa had her hair done by Sizal – she’s not the hair-extensions type, is she? So she might not have known about his allergy. And she hasn’t worked for Bill for that long – she probably didn’t know about Ruby’s heart condition, either. Besides, even if she’s in love with Bill, why would she want to kill his mother? No, you’re right. I think we can cross Tessa off the list.”
We pedalled in silence for a few minutes while we considered the matter. “As far as I can see, the only thing that links Ruby and Sizal is Angelica,” I said finally. “She was the one to discover both bodies. And as you’re always saying, the person who ‘finds’ a body is often the murderer.”
“Very true,” Graham agreed.
“But why would she do it?” I was perplexed. “I mean, they seemed to feel quite sorry for her. She asked both of them to speak on her behalf.”
“Yet neither managed to stop the wedding.”
“OK… So maybe Angelica was really angry with them. Angry enough to arrange their ‘accidents’.” I tried to picture Angelica in a murderous state but couldn’t quite manage it. “She doesn’t seem the angry type, though, does she? She looks sad and mad, but not necessarily bad. If Josie was in her position it might be different – she seems sweet enough when Angelica’s not around, then she turns into a green-eyed monster.”
Graham scratched his nose. “Well, Josie heard Angelica pleading with Ruby when we first got here. And she c
ame in to Sizal’s room soon after he’d finished setting Kelly’s hair. She may have overheard what he said about Angelica asking him to have a word with her. For all we know, she was mortally offended.”
“So she might have got rid of both of them. But it’s ruined her big day,” I objected. “Which she’s been fixated on since she was a kid.”
“It hasn’t been totally ruined,” Graham reasoned. “Think of the sensation that two deaths in a single day will have caused – it makes a much more interesting story than a feature about yet another celebrity wedding. If you’re right about her little-girl-lost persona being a false one, that might explain things.”
“Well, if she’s secretly after fame and fortune, she’s certainly found it,” I said. Something else occurred to me and I stopped pedalling for a moment. The vessel wobbled and Graham frowned but I ignored him. “Why did Josie come into Sizal’s room just now?”
“Angelica was screaming,” Graham pointed out. “I should imagine that half the island’s population heard it. Maybe Josie was curious.”
“Maybe. Or maybe she wanted to check Sizal was dead. Did you notice the key was in the door?”
“So?”
“Well, it was on the inside when we went to have our wigs done this morning – I snagged my fig leaf on it, remember? But when we left just now, it was on the outside. So someone might have locked him in there with a wasp, knowing he’d flap around and get panicky and that the thing would sting him and finish him off. And Josie was the last person to have her hair styled…”
“True. But she had to have her make-up done afterwards in a different part of the villa. Anyone could have done it then.”
“Except that no one else has a motive.”
“Apart from Angelica.”
The more we talked, the more puzzled we became. We decided it was Josie. Then we decided it was Angelica. Then we went back to Josie again. We were literally pedalling around in ever-decreasing circles and there was no one we could consult for an opinion. The idea of telling Bill that his bride might have killed someone was laughable. Sally was elbow-deep in preparations for the evening and Tessa – well, she wasn’t exactly approachable. Plus there was something odd about the way she behaved. I didn’t trust her.