"What?" I growl before draining the last of my SoCo.
"You good, man?" He's smug as fuck.
"Yep. Why?"
"You're loved up."
"Are you fucking twelve?"
He laughs. "No. Is it going well?"
"It's going well."
"But..." he prompts, frowning and scratching the dark stubble on his jaw. "You're not thinking of breaking things off with her, are you?"
He loves Texas, too, but in a very different way. Better be different anyway. He would also be in line to fucking castrate me if I ever hurt her. No one needs to worry.
"No."
"You're sure? Because if you're not, you have to end this now. You can't play around with her. She's not practice."
I get his warning, but he's pissing me off.
Gritting my teeth, I glare and lean closer. "She's my forever."
"All right," he replies, lifting his hands in surrender. "Gotcha. I used to have a forever. Now, I just have booze and women."
"Milo, if you miss her, do something."
He shakes his head. "She's the past."
Yeah, right.
"Which one is more me?" he asks, pointing out two girls at the bar.
"The brunette."
"You didn't even look."
"Neither did you. It doesn't matter, Milo, because you'll wake up in the morning and still want Lexi."
"You, sir, are a prick."
I throw my head back and laugh. "Sort it out. You still love her."
"Whatever. You love Texas."
More and more with every passing second.
TEXAS
FRIDAY, MAY 15
MADRID, SPAIN
We're in Madrid, and since the club in Berlin, I've barely seen Kitt. We've rain checked our rain check because he's been so busy.
Jodie is here, and she's packed a full schedule for Filthy Sound and Enigma. I've stayed back at the hotel with Ted because I have no desire to race all over the city, doing promo events and appearances. I'm passing on the show tonight because I'm drained.
Ted and I have been out a couple of times to get fresh crepes and eat amazing spaghetti, so I'm not totally alone. He knows about me and Kitt--obviously since he's my shadow--but so far, he's not mentioned it. He won't unless I bring it up, which I don't intend on doing because I'm already going a little crazy here already.
It's been two days. Get ahold of yourself.
I've realised that I'm not very good at being alone. I've always had my dad around along with his band, security, managers, and a tutor. There has always been someone, so when I'm in the hotel suite and Ted is in his, things are strange.
Silence shouldn't be loud.
I have a huge suite all to myself, and no one will be back for at least another few hours. At least I'm not cramped on the bus, not that I really mind that.
I'm going to enjoy this. What else can I do?
The show will be over now, but as usual, there's an after-party.
When I told Dad I would be passing on the show, he thought I was ill. Then, when he tried to insist on staying with me, I had to take it up a level to period pains. I've always known he would drop everything for me, but I'd never get him to.
I flick the channel over and settle on Snapped: Women Who Kill. That actually sounds good right now. About thirty minutes ago, I had practically the entire room service menu delivered, so I'm set for the night. I'm so pathetic.
Kitt is probably fending off beautiful women right now.
I shove another mouthful of cheesecake in and chew.
He wouldn't cheat, I know that, but it's not a nice image to have in my head. His fans get a little too handsy.
He can't even tell them he has a girlfriend, not that it would stop many people, especially the groupies. I feel like more of a secret now than ever.
I put the plate of leftover cheesecake down and lie on my side.
Peyton will have a lot to say, and I'm not ready to speak about it yet, so I can't call her.
Oh my God, get a grip! You're fine on your own for the night.
I finally get comfortable when someone knocks on my door. Is there some room service missing? I roll myself off the sofa and stand up. This'd better be good. It'd better be chocolate or cake.
I swing the door open and get a shock. "Kitt?" I mumble.
"Hey, baby." He tilts his head and smirks.
He must've come straight from the show. No after-party for him?
"So...I don't like it when you're not waiting in the wing for me."
"I don't really like being left behind."
He steps inside and closes the door. "You were never left behind, Tex. You could've come. We all wanted you there." He takes another step. "I wanted you there."
"Honestly, I wasn't in the mood to watch you flirt."
"I have to be friendly."
"I know that. You don't have to be so friendly though."
"As much as I like you jealous, I think I prefer you to be secure." He puts his hands on my upper arms. "There will never be anyone else for me. You're it, Tex. Can I spend the evening with my girl, please? I've missed her a lot."
"Well," I say, smirking and looking to the side, "when you put it like that..."
Kitt puts a movie on, and I grab a couple of beers from the fully stocked mini fridge. When I go over to the sofa and sit down, Kitt's arms circle my waist, and he pulls me onto his lap. Yeah, I'd much rather be here anyway.
I snuggle down and lay my head on his chest. His heart is thumping away, the hard and fast rhythm matching mine.
"I've been watching Twitter. Seems like you had a good show," I whisper, closing my eyes and enjoying this moment.
When his arms are tight around me, I feel strong, and I know everything will work out. Kitt makes me feel safe and loved, and I can't get enough of him.
"It would've been better if you were there."
"I'm sorry."
He kisses the top of my head and runs his fingertips up and down my bare arm. It feels so good. With closed eyes, I moan and tilt my head, searching for his lips. Kitt's mouth covers mine in a sweet kiss that makes my blood fizzle.
"Tex," he groans before running his tongue across my bottom lip.
I feel it everywhere, and I'm so close to coming on the spot. Shifting, I straddle his hips to gain better access. I'm too hot and too needy. The throbbing between my legs is almost unbearable.
He pulls back, holding my face in his hands. His eyes are wild, and it's such a turn-on to know it's because of me.
"What are you doing?"
"Isn't it obvious?" I mutter.
"You want to feel me inside you?"
Holy...
My throat is suddenly dryer than the fucking Sahara.
I nod because I've gone dumb.
The corner of his lip curves. "What else, Texas? Tell me what you want me to do to you."
There's a promise in his words. Whatever I want, he's willing to give me. Right now.
"I want you to undress me."
He wastes no time. Grabbing my hips, he flips us over, so he's hovering above me on the sofa. His erection is positioned perfectly, if it wasn't for our clothes.
"Lift up," he instructs as he reaches around to my back.
I sit up as best as I can, my stomach muscles aching as I hold myself.
Kitt pulls my top off and unclasps my bra. "You're fucking stunning."
His lips slam down on mine, and I'm flattened against the cushions. The kiss is desperate and exactly how I feel about having all of him. I've never wanted anyone or anything more than I want him now.
Oh wow, this is happening.
For two years, I've dreamed of what it would be like to be with Kitt. After sleeping with Xander, I wondered how different Kitt would feel and taste. Kitt has always been assertive, and that's something Xander lacked.
I like to be in charge, but I love to be challenged.
And Kitt is very challenging.
Right now, I'm not in charge
.
His lips bruise mine with force. I can't get enough. We're too far away. I wrap my legs around him, and he presses his erection into me. I moan as electricity fires through my body.
His tongue enters my mouth and duels with mine. I don't give a single fuck. He can win because him winning at this is totally a win for me, too.
He rears back and looks down at me. His arms are shaking with the effort to restrain himself. Kitt is nicely toned, but holding himself up above me like this makes his arms look bigger.
Swoon.
"Texas, fucking hell."
My lips feel as swollen as his look. They're darker and glossed over.
"Are you okay?" I ask, blinking innocently.
"I have never wanted another woman like this. I don't...fuck, I can't even describe how much I want you."
I think I just came.
I breathe heavily and squirm below him. I'm so close. I just need him pressing against me again. "Kitt, please..."
Closing his eyes, he groans. "God, baby, that's it. Beg me."
"I need to touch you. Take your clothes off, Kitt. Oh my God, kiss me again. Do something, please. I'm so close." Seriously, one touch, and I'll be done for.
His dark blue eyes practically turn black.
I've seen him turned on, many occasions with someone else, but this is something else.
It's. So. Hot.
Slowly, he ducks his head and places a featherlight kiss on my collarbone.
Taking a deep breath, I arch my back, needing him closer. "Kitt," I whisper.
He repeats, kissing across my neck, and starts to trail down. His lips softly drag over the skin between my breasts, and I think I'm going to explode from the feeling.
I want him so bad that I feel like I'm going insane.
The sound he makes is so erotic as his hand travels south. I love how much he wants me. I've not even touched him yet.
"I want to lick you."
"What? On my vagina?" I freeze.
Oh God. Oh. My. God.
Kitt throws his head back and laughs loudly.
No.
No, no, no. That did not just happen.
What in the actual fuck is the matter with you?
I said that. I really, really said that. Right?
Of course I did. He's not laughing that bloody hard for no reason!
Pushing Kitt off me, I hide my face. I'm so bloody embarrassed that I want the ground to swallow me whole.
Actually, it's worse than that. Google beyond mortified, and this conversation will be the definition.
Shit, it's not like no one has ever gone down on me before. But Kitt hasn't. I never thought we'd even kiss again after he didn't mention the first time. He's not drunk now. He actually wants me, and my brain--although it's still up for debate whether I have one--isn't processing that well.
I want him so bad in every way that it's frying my mind.
The words slipped out.
Oh. My. God!
Kitt doubles over, laughing...and probably thinking he's had a lucky escape.
I need to leave, like, now and move to another country and change my name. The first thing I'm going to do when I'm settled in my new life is get myself tested because something is seriously not right.
I leap off the sofa, snatch my top, put it on, and head out. This is my room, but I don't care. I need to be elsewhere. It's not just my face that's on fire; it's my whole body. I've never been this mortified before.
"Where are you going, Tex?"
"To die!" I reach for the handle and yank it open.
"But I've not licked your vagina yet."
"Fuck off!" I shout before slamming the door behind me.
I've done some stupid things before, but that right there was on a new level. Covering my face, I walk toward the lift. I don't even care that Ted is in his room, and I should knock for him before wandering off.
You need to go somewhere remote where no other humans live.
I jam my finger into the call button and wait.
I can't believe I said that. I'm so embarrassed that I want to die. Things between me and Kitt are over now. I can never look him in the eyes again. Peyton would love this.
"Texas?" Kitt says.
I freeze. Damn, he followed me.
His hand circles my wrist, and he twists me around. "Hey."
"You can go now," I snap.
His hand tightens as I try to free my own.
"Let me go."
"Never, remember? Look, don't be embarrassed."
"Really? You heard what came out of my mouth, right?"
His mouth twitches as he fights his amusement. "I heard, but it's cool."
There is nothing cool about what I said. Nothing.
"Don't lie to me."
"All right, so maybe you wish you hadn't said it--"
"Maybe?"
He growls. "Get back in your room, Texas, now. I'm going to lick you, and then I'm going to fuck you. I don't give a shit if you're feeling embarrassed right now."
I want to be offended, but it's hard to be when he's looking at me like I'm his next meal, and my pulse is thudding so hard that I feel dizzy.
So, I've not had that much alcohol, but I still feel drunk. Swaying forward, I lean against him and close my eyes. His erection presses into my stomach.
"I'm an idiot," I murmur.
"You're an idiot for running away from me, not for how you reacted when I told you what I wanted to do to you. I love how you react to me."
I'm no longer a fan of it.
"Well, one of us should."
"Into bed, you," he says, reaching around to slap my butt.
There is no way I'm going to argue with that. I bite my lip and tug his hand toward my suite. I'm still beyond embarrassed, but it doesn't have to be a big deal. Maybe I'll replay the moment a million times and want to slap myself, but Kitt still wants to be inside me, and that is...well, a fucking miracle.
Kitt's smirk is back, and I slap his chest.
"You're a dick."
"You love my dick."
"How do you know?"
"You're about to prove my point." He spins me around and holds me against his chest.
His gorgeously defined chest.
Pressing his forehead against mine, he gives me a smile that makes my whole body ache. "You're perfect, Texas."
"Funny, I was going to say the same about you."
With a smile that melts my heart, he walks me back into the suite. We don't stop at the sofa, like before. He takes me into my bedroom.
He stands in front of me and watches with one eyebrow arched as I remove my top. Then, my hand goes to my zipper, and his breathing becomes heavier. He doesn't move, doesn't help. He just watches, and it's so sexy.
I step out of my jean shorts and push my underwear to the floor.
The tension between us is palpable, and all thoughts of my earlier slip-up have been forgotten. Nothing else matters but this moment.
Kitt unzips his jeans and shoves them to the floor. No boxers. My eyes dip down, and I think my heart stops beating at the sight of his erection. That's all for me. His fist grips the bottom of his T-shirt, and he whips it off over his head. The shirt makes a small thud as it hits the ground.
We're both naked and incredibly ready.
"Lie down on the bed," he whispers.
I take a step back, and when the edge of the bed hits my legs, I sit down. Placing my arms behind me, I go to shuffle back, but his palms land on my knees and hold me down. With a small smile, he nudges my legs apart.
Oh.
Kitt drops to the floor and places a kiss on the inside of my knee.
My heart jumps. I'm pretty sure if he does that again, I'm going to pass out.
His mouth reaches the apex of my legs, and I shudder. God, he's barely touched me, and I'm ready to come. His tongue flicks out, and I launch off the bed.
Fuck me!
He chuckles and uses his arms to press my hips down.
He swirls
his tongue at maddening speeds, only to slow it right down and lick with the gentlest touch. My body is coiling, burning, and I'm in such a desperate need to come that it hurts.
"Kitt, please," I beg, grinding on his mouth as every nerve ending is set on fire.
He groans, and the vibrations tip me over the edge. I fall, loudly calling his name, and I ride out the most intense orgasm I've ever had.
Wasting no time, he shoves me back, slides on a condom, grips my thighs, and glides himself inside. He moans deep in his throat and tilts his head back. "Texas, you feel amazing, sweetheart. Fuck."
He stills inside me and bends down. I'm breathless and made of jelly after my orgasm, so when he kisses me, I barely register where he just was, not that I care much anyway.
Wrapping my arms around his neck, I kiss him back. His tongue battles mine, pressing hard and then retreating, teasing. When I feel it against the seam of my mouth, I suck, and he grunts, starting to move again. I meet his hips thrust for thrust. He's slow and deliberate, savouring the feeling. Every stroke stretches me to fit him perfectly, and I feel every ridge of his hardness pushing me to impossible heights.
"Kitt," I murmur into his mouth, feeling myself tightening again.
I dig my nails into the flesh on his back, and his rhythm picks up dramatically. Ripping away from my mouth, he pushes himself up onto his arms and closes his eyes as he starts a frantic pace, relentlessly slamming into me.
I grip on around his waist to stop myself from being shoved higher on the bed.
Fuck. Oh, fuck.
He's going to make me come again. I moan and scratch at his back as the intensity of him takes hold.
"Kitt!"
"Fuck, Texas. Fuck. Come with me, baby." He throws his head back as he pumps into me.
I watch him come apart, his eyes scrunched, his jaw locked in pleasure, and it's what makes me break under him. I let wave after wave tear me apart.
"Shit," I mutter, floating back to reality.
Kitt's hips grind mine as he rides out the last of his orgasm, and he collapses on me. Rolling over, he takes me with him, and I lie in his arms, snuggled close, breathing him in.
This is, without a doubt, my favourite place to be in the whole world. I could stay here for hours, doing nothing but lying all over him.
"Wow."
He chuckles. "Exactly. I've never come so fucking hard in my life."
Neither have I. "I never want to move," I whisper.
"Please," he says into my hair, "you'll want to feed soon."
He's got me there. I'm always hungry.
"Tell me you'll never get bored of this, Kitt."
He laughs, and his chest rocks underneath me. "Something tells me that's an impossibility."
I hope so.