"Yeah? You're going to mark that virgin skin?"
"I don't know what I want or where I want it, but I like them. And it's been a while since I realised I have something virgin."
"Ah, the dickhead ex."
Her ex was an absolute twat of a man. He was boring and soft as shit. If he called her honey one more time, I would've punched him.
"There was nothing wrong with him."
"Oh, please. With people like him, you know exactly what your future would be like. You don't fit that mould. You'd go insane."
She shrugs one shoulder and then shuffles back and twists, so she can kick her feet up onto my legs. "I know. We weren't compatible at all, but that doesn't mean there was anything wrong with him. He was happy to be still, and he was content with what he had, whereas I need to keep moving and find something new."
"Still is dull."
"For people like us, it is." She leans in closer, and her legs press into my crotch.
Is she doing it on purpose or what?
I lick my dry lips and grip the beer bottle with two hands.
You can't touch her again.
Tex puts on a movie, and we watch it, hyperaware of each other and not really paying attention to the screen. I feel like I'm being pulled toward her, like a greater force is at work.
Keep your fucking hands to yourself.
The movie is wrapping up.
Tex lays her head back and tilts it in my direction. "Do you ever wonder what your life would have been like if something major had or hadn't happened? I occasionally wonder where I'd be if Jennifer had taken me with her."
"Where's that?"
"Ugh. I would've grown up as her mini me. She would've dressed me in kid versions of her outfits and done mother-daughter photo shoots to sell her own line of clothes. There was talk about it, but I think she realised she can't design shit."
"I often think about my parents. I was too young to remember them, but I sometimes wonder if I'd be here now. My grandad is the rocker in the family. If I wasn't raised in his house, I might be somewhere completely different."
"I'm glad you're here," she whispers.
"Yeah, me, too."
I can't help it. She's looking at me like she wants me to kiss her, and there is nothing else in this world I'd rather do right now. I dip my head, and her lips part. She wants this as much as I do. My heart is hammering harder, the closer I get.
Fuck everything.
I'm going to kiss her, but before I get close, her door swings open and slams back on itself. I'm so fucking glad Milo has a spare key... Texas and I jump and look over the back of the sofa. Cooper struts in without paying attention, but Milo sees us.
"Just in time," Milo says, lifting his eyebrow.
I lean away slightly. "We were just discussing Cooper's threesome fail." About two hours ago. Believe me, Milo.
He's looking too hard, and I'm afraid the truth is obvious.
I can't lie to myself anymore, so how can I fool a guy who knows me better than anyone else?
Cooper is the joker, and Milo, I can talk to. I've never discussed Tex with him, and he doesn't know about our first kiss or last night, but something tells me that I might have to talk to him soon.
"It wasn't a fucking fail, dickheads. I'm grabbing a Jack, Tex."
She waves the back of her hand at him. "You sleep with some models then?"
Milo grins. "Of course. What've you boring wankers been doing?" he asks. His question sounds innocent, but it's laced with accusation.
"Movie and beer." I reply.
"Mmhmm. Mind if we join?" Milo looks at me with judgment in his dark eyes.
Tex shrugs a shoulder but still doesn't move her legs. The way Milo is watching me, he might as well have me on the other side of a table, shining a light in my eyes. His hard what-the-fuck-are-you-playing-at look is demanding a thousand answers to a thousand questions that I don't even want to think about.
I don't know what I'm doing.
I've never really wanted someone before. Tex is the first, and it's fucking with my head.
Awkwardly, I sit up a little straighter, and she drops her legs. The bastard's made me self-conscious of my friendship with Texas.
You know it's gone further than that.
Not even Mark would've batted an eyelid at how we were sitting. It wasn't different to how we'd sat a thousand times before, but everything is different now.
"You two are still sober. How is that possible?" Texas asks, suspiciously eyeing them.
She's right. Cooper doesn't believe in being sober ever, and Milo always gets shitfaced when he's out.
Milo grins. "We peaked early. Then, we got bored."
By that, he means, they each slept with a model and got their fill, and now, they're ready to chill with more alcohol.
I shake my head. "No stamina. I feel sorry for those women."
"Hey, she came like a fucking train," Cooper says before swigging from the bottle.
"Cooper, for fuck's sake!" Texas shouts, pointlessly launching a cushion at his head. "I don't want to catch your STD when I drink JD!"
"I'm clean, sweet cheeks. Wanna try?"
"What? No, I really don't want to try to catch chlamydia from you."
"Clean," he replies slowly, frowning at her. "You can't be spreading that shit around."
"But you can spread that shit around?" she hits back, nodding toward his dick.
He runs his hand over his hair, but I can't be bothered to rip him for it. "I'm a very giving person, Texas. I like to share."
"I'm sure they appreciate it," she replies sarcastically.
Cooper grabs his dick through his jeans. "Anyone would."
"I hate boys."
Oh, she does not.
I raise my eyebrow, and she narrows her hazel eyes.
Liar, I mouth while the other two are pouring different drinks.
She bites her lip, and her cheeks redden.
Fuck.
I'm done for.
TEXAS
THURSDAY, MAY 7
PARIS, FRANCE
Milo and Cooper duck out after two drinks because they're lightweights. I'm flat-out exhausted, and it's closing in on one a.m., but I don't want to sleep. And Kitt doesn't seem to want to leave yet either.
Things are good right now, and I want it to last. I can pretend.
"Are you going to sightsee tomorrow?" he asks.
"I want to, but I won't have time."
"Should've come with us today. We could've hit up the Tower after."
My mind is instantly back in the cage, and my body is on fire. All day, I've been trying to ignore what happened.
"Should've," I mutter. Please, let's change the subject!
"If you hadn't been hiding out in your room all day..."
"I wasn't hiding."
"Really? So you weren't avoiding me because of the cage?"
Oh, great! This he talks about! Everything else is pushed away, but giving me the most intense orgasm of my life is the one thing he doesn't want to paper over.
Perfect.
Cringing in embarrassment, I look away. I might want him to leave this room, but my body doesn't. The mere thought of him getting me off has me breaking out in a sweat.
"No." My bloody voice betrays me. I sound like a terrified chipmunk.
Kitt leans in, and it frazzles my mind. The smell of his cologne wraps around me.
"You're sure? I don't want awkwardness between us, Tex. I'm sorry if I made it that way."
That sounds an awful lot like, It won't happen again. My heart is as heavy as lead.
It shouldn't happen again. I can't handle being rejected by him over and over.
"I don't want that either. Can we forget it? I thought we'd forgotten it." Might as well get in there first, I suppose, while I have an ounce of dignity left.
"Right," he replies. "Okay. Good."
We sit inches apart, watching each other. The atmosphere could be cut with a knife, and even I'm not sure if it's awkward or sexual.
/>
I chew on my lip. God, I hate this back and forth.
Do something. You can't leave it like this.
He sighs. "I don't want to do this tense shit. Would you like another drink?"
I dip my head, refusing eye contact. "No, thanks. My tummy is still iffy from last night. I can't do another drop."
He laughs. "You did have a fair bit. I had to carry you back."
Kitt carried me? I don't remember much after the cage because I upped my alcohol intake, but I assumed Ted would've brought me back to my room.
"You did?"
"Er, yeah. I already had you when I met Ted, so"--he scratches the back of his neck--"I kept you and put you to bed."
He kept me.
"I promise, I didn't even take a peek at the good stuff." He thumps his heart with his fist. "Perfect gentleman."
And we're back to normal.
And my headache is back.
Kitt orders some room service. Who cares about the time?
Thirty minutes later, I'm uncomfortably full, so much so that I can't move.
Kitt puts his plate on the side with mine and groans.
"Does it hurt you, too?" I ask, rubbing my bloated belly.
"Nope. Did you eat too much again?"
Whimpering, I nod.
He's sitting so close to me. We're less than an inch apart, and every time he moves to get his drink off the coffee table, we touch. I don't know why he doesn't keep hold of it rather than going back and forth all the time.
Don't read too much into it.
"I ate far too much." I really need to remember that just because room service is on the label, I don't have to eat everything. "Why did I do it after last time?"
Kitt laughs and nudges my shoulder, which isn't helping my stomach. "Because you have no self-discipline."
Now, that is not true. I have it in truckloads. If I didn't, I would've made a fool of myself over him a long time ago. "Ugh, we should've gone out for the evening. I'm dying."
"You're the one who wanted to stay in and veg."
"I made a terrible mistake."
"We won't get much time to relax once the shows start."
He's right, and I would have felt bad for making him traipse around Paris when he has a crazy summer ahead, but sitting and eating was a bad choice.
"Yeah, I know."
"If you want to do something more...exhilarating, I have a few ideas," he says with a sexy smirk that I've seen him use to score a fucking harem of women before.
My heart clenches so hard that I almost pass out. I got a taste of that last night. He got me off without even touching me, and it was the most intense orgasm I had ever had.
Jesus, what would having him inside me be like? Okay, I can't think about that because, pretty soon, I'm going to be begging him to work last night's magic on me.
"Oh, yeah? What ideas would those be?" I ask, glancing up in an attempt to appear sexy. I probably look like a creeper.
"Mmm," he murmurs, leaning in closer.
His eyes are white hot, and it makes me quiver. Kitt does sexy really well. His lips part a fraction, and he looks like he's about to devour me.
I can't breathe when he's this close.
Having no idea what he's doing to me, he lifts his eyebrow in that hot, cheeky, charming way, and I want to kiss him so bad that I'm positive I'll burst into flames any second.
If I'd ordered more alcohol with room service, I probably would have had enough courage to go for it. At least then, I could have blamed it on the drink when he pushed me away.
"Actually, I can think of about a million different ways to liven things up."
Wow. I believe him, too.
I've not had much experience--though I'm definitely not a nun--but I know he'd be able to show me a few things. More than a few things actually. The thought of it makes me throb like crazy.
Compared to the women he's been with, I might as well not even know what a cock is. He's probably used to women doing things to him that I can't even pronounce.
I subtly grip my stomach, feeling sick. Why do I do it to myself? There is never a need for me to think about Kitt with other women. Like ever. But I still do.
"A million really?" I say sarcastically.
"You doubt me?"
No, not at all. That's the problem.
"No, I don't doubt it, but I want you to list them and prove it, Casanova."
"You'll only get embarrassed."
I glare and resist the urge to kick him. "I'm not five, Kitt. I do know what all the parts are and where they go."
He looks off ahead, and his mind goes somewhere. "Hmm, I guess that's true."
"Do you think of me like a child?" I squeak out like an idiot before my brain engages and realises how desperate that sounded.
"No, of course I don't. I just haven't ever thought about..." he mumbles, stopping right before he says what he means.
I hate when he quits talking right when I want him to continue.
"Oh my God, you're uncomfortable, aren't you?" I tease, elbowing his side.
It really doesn't bode well for me that he's finding it so hard thinking about me and sex at the same time. Still, I enjoy his awkwardness. Small victories and all that. Plus, after last night, he must think about me in that way. The thought alone has my stomach flipping over.
"Please, Tex, I'm not uncomfortable. If your dad could hear you now though..."
"Why is my dad in your head right now?"
Bloody hell, my father is constantly screwing me over where Kitt is concerned. If I were brave enough, I'd tell Dad how I felt about Kitt, but I couldn't see him being thrilled and telling me to go for it.
Kitt frowns, and his eyes look troubled or maybe grossed out. It's hard to tell. "Good point. Take your top off, and we'll rectify this."
"You first," I blurt.
It's not like he's going to get shirtless with me in my hotel room. He slaps Cooper on the back of the head for even joking about it. Although he did kiss the hell out of me on Christmas, and he got me off last night. He must want me a bit, right?
I stare him in the eyes. There's no way I'm going to back down and look like a child. I can give as good as I get.
Kitt's hand fists the bottom of his shirt, and he starts to pull it over his head.
My heart lurches in surprise and excitement. "What are you doing?" I want this, obviously, but I didn't think he would do it, and now, I'm scared he'll make me.
"You challenged me, Tex. Are you pussying out of your own dare?"
"Yes! Are you crazy?" Oh God, please take your jeans off as well.
He shrugs, and my attention is brought to his shoulder and arm. Those tattoos. I want to see them all. Now. I want to trace them with my tongue.
"Is it crazy to follow through with a bet?"
No. I'm the crazy one. I don't think there's any doubt about that.
Jesus, my hands are shaking, and I think I'm going to throw up.
With trembling fingers, I grip my top and take it off. Kitt's eyes widen and hone in on my lace-covered breasts.
He didn't think I would do it, and I'm a bit shocked at myself, too.
What am I doing? I don't randomly take my top off, especially not for a bet.
"Tex...what..." he mumbles, his eyes still glued on my chest.
Thank God I'm wearing a nice bra rather than a boring plain one.
"Oh, I'm going to burn in hell. I can't..."
The hunger in his eyes turns my insides to jelly. I want him so much that my body is throbbing.
I clear my throat. "Are you okay?"
He scrubs his eyes and finally looks at my face. "Wanna take a dare on you getting that bra off?"
Tilting my head to the side, I reply sarcastically, "I would, but unfortunately, you're not wearing one."
"Got a spare? I can quickly put one on and whip off."
It is the most tempting offer I've had in a long time. I want to do it because seeing Kitt in a bra would make my whole life, but then I
would have to take mine off, and I'm so not doing that.
When...or if Kitt ever sees me with nothing on, I don't want it to be because of a bet.
"I don't think I could handle seeing you like that."
"Ah," he says, nodding once. "Get too turned on?"
"Oh, yeah, I'm sure that's it."
"So, is that a no to the bra coming off?" His voice is rougher than usual, kind of like he has a sore throat.
Sexy as hell.
I roll my eyes and shove his chest hard. Yeah, I did that just to feel that six-pack. This touchier, get-shirtless Kitt is definitely more fun, but I know it's going to be over soon, and he'll pretend it never happened.
I need to remember that tonight is nothing but us messing around. Kitt is naturally flirty, and he does it with everything that has breasts. I'm not exaggerating.
Whatever this is, I need to enjoy it. I feel like my time with Kitt is limited. Filthy Sound won't always tour with Enigma. Soon, Kitt will be off all the time, rarely coming home. He might even move far away. LA seems to be the relocation of choice for celebs. It'd be cliche as fuck, but it could happen. Peyton did it.
As much as it pains me to think about it, my friendship with Kitt has a sell-by date. Our connection is my dad's band, and I'm scared that if the bands go their separate ways, Kitt won't have a reason to see me again.
Deep down, I know I'm being ridiculous. We're friends, and we have been for a few years now, so we'll probably stay in touch. Kitt is one of the few people I trust, but the music industry and fame can change a person. I've witnessed that multiple times.
"Kitt, would you ever move to LA?" I blurt out before thinking.
"What? Do you remember our last trip to the US? I couldn't get beans with my breakfast, finding a decent tea was like looking for the meaning of life, and they put a mash of cream and milk in their coffee. I couldn't live there."
His words soothe something inside me. Whatever happens, at least we'll still be in the same country.
"Why did you ask that, Tex?"
I shrug and try to pretend like I wasn't just holding my breath and panicking. At some point, I'm going to have to try to get over this thing with him, but it feels a lot like forever, and I have no idea how to deal with that without it exploding in my face.
"No reason. It just seems to be the done thing with rock stars and other celebrities."
"You know I don't like doing the done thing."
"Yeah, is that why you're sitting here, half-naked, with me?"
My dad gave a lot of warnings about any member of Filthy Sound messing around with me, and he was very graphic as he went into the consequences if that were to happen. Kitt is quite clearly choosing to ignore that because, right now, he's breaking Dad's rules big time. Again.