Horo's expression had changed, appearing like a cornered wolf with no way out.
"Heheh, after all, you…you like weak, pitiable lambs. How does it feel watching me talk about going back to an already-destroyed hometown, being totally ignorant of reality? You must think me cute in my foolishness. So pitiable that it pains your heart, does it not? Even when I am stubborn, you would want to forgive me, and then treat me kindly, is it not so?”
Though Lawrence wanted to speak, Horo continued to say: "That you would tell me to go back from Nyohhira by myself was also because you had grown tired of me, was it not?”
Horo revealed a smile of one who had thrown away everything. Even Horo herself must have understood that the words she uttered were full of malevolence and distortion of facts.
Lawrence felt that, if he were to lose his temper and strike her face, Horo would surely wag her tail happily (note: I don't really understand why this would be, but that's what the text says. My best guess is that Lawrence striking Horo would be a sign to her that he actually cared and was offended by what she was saying).
"Is that really what you think?”
Hearing Lawrence strike her with his words, Horo's fiery eyes stared directly at him. "Yes I do!”
Horo had stood up and clenched her fists tightly. Her hands had already lost their color, and were shaking uncontrollably.
The sharp teeth that Horo had revealed made clashing sounds, and her tail was completely swollen.
Even so, Lawrence did not shrink back, because he knew that Horo's wrath stemmed from an overwhelming sadness.
"That is exactly what I think! You are a human! Humans are the only existence that raises animals! Therefore, you used Yoitsu as bait to test my reaction, surely you must have enjoyed watching-”
"Horo.”
Horo had completely lost her sense of reason and was swinging her arms about wildly. Lawrence rushed towards her in a breath's time and seized her arms with all his might.
Horo appeared frightened like a captured stray dog. The strength of her angry resistance was as feeble as her maiden appearance.
With Lawrence holding onto her arms with such force, it was obvious that Horo's strength was no match for his.
Gradually, Horo stopped resisting. She changed her demeanor, looking to Lawrence with begging eyes as she spoke: "I…I have become all alone. What…what…should I do? There is no longer anyone waiting for me to return, no one anywhere…I…have become all alone…”
"Don't you have me?”
This was the unconcealed truth that had come from the bottom of Lawrence's heart. Moreover, such words were not something that could have been uttered casually. Yet, a mocking smile surfaced on Horo's face as she said unrestrainedly: "What are you to me…no, what am I to you?” “Uhm!”
Lawrence could not answer on the spot, and sank into contemplation.
Only a moment later did he suddenly realize that he should have answered immediately, even if it was to tell a lie.
"I do not want this! I do not want to be alone anymore!" Horo screamed loudly, then ceased her movements.
"I say you, would you hold me?”
Lawrence almost loosened his grip on Horo's arms.
Lawrence looked at Horo's smiling face, which carried an intensely cold air. Horo was ridiculing her own loss of reason.
"I am already alone. But, if I were to have a child, that would make two. Look, I am human in appearance right now, so it would not be impossible to be together with you who are a human, would it? You…”
"Please, don't say anymore.”
Lawrence could poignantly feel the overflowing emotions within Horo's heart that had no means of escape save through blurting out venomous and cutting words.
Yet, Lawrence did not have such a great ability to maintain a mild attitude while waiting for Horo to calm down.
Therefore, that he was able to say this was already giving everything he had. Horo's smile grew deeper, and her tears welled over once again.
"Heheh…aha…hehehahaha, indeed. You are a softy after all. I will not place such hopes with you, but it matters not, I remember now. There is someone…yes, someone who loves me.”
Due to her arms being in Lawrence's grip, Horo could not break free by making large movements, so in order to be able to free herself from Lawrence's hands at any moment, Horo suddenly loosened her fists, which had been tightly clenched, and soon her body also lost its tenseness. As soon as Lawrence released her arms, Horo spoke feebly like an injured butterfly: "This is also the reason why that affair did not bother you at all, is it not? You must be thinking that if you should really be able to receive a thousand silver coins, letting go would not be such a big deal, is it not so?”
Lawrence understood that anything he said under the current situation would be meaningless, so he could only listen silently.
Horo herself became silent as well, as if the last bit of fuel had been burned out.
After that, the silence continued for a good while. Just as Lawrence was about to reach out his hand again, Horo opened her mouth and spoke with a faint voice: "….Sorry.”
Slam! The deep noise flowed into Lawrence's ears. At that moment, Horo had forcefully shut the door to her heart.
Lawrence's body was paralyzed, and he was at best able to step back. Horo sat down, gazing at the floor without moving.
Lawrence, who had retreated a few steps, could not even manage to stand quietly for one second. He immediately picked up the letter from Deanna that Horo had dropped, his gaze hastily following the words as if running away.
In the letter, Deanna wrote that she knew a cenobite who specially collected Northern myths and who lived in a village along the path to the town of Renose, which Horo had visited. She suggested that Lawrence pay him a visit. On the back of the letter was written the name of the cenobite. Lawrence closed his eyes, his heart filled with regret.
If he had just read the letter earlier – Lawrence could not help thinking.
Although Lawrence was suddenly filled with the urge to tear the letter to pieces, he of course knew that such behavior would only be allowing his temper to get the best of him.
This letter was an important clue to finding Yoitsu.
Lawrence could not help thinking that this letter was the thin thread that would allow him to maintain his weak link with Horo, and so he folded the letter and placed it in his bosom.
Then, Lawrence looked to Horo again, but she was still unwilling to lift her face and look at him.
The word "Sorry" she had uttered when Lawrence was about to reach out his hand rang in his ears once again.
There was only one thing left for Lawrence to do, and that was to leave the room in silence. And so Lawrence took a step back, then a second.
At that moment, a loud cheer came in through the window, and Lawrence took the opportunity to turn around and exit the room.
Even though for just one instant, Lawrence felt as if Horo had lifted her face, he told himself that it must have been an illusion brought about by wishful thinking.
As soon as he closed the door with his back to it, he covered his eyes, as if to say that he did not wish to see anything.
Even so, all of this would not simply go away. He needed to come up with a solution.
Even though Lawrence knew that he needed to solve the problem somehow, he could not help asking himself: "Just what should I do?”
Lawrence walked out of the inn.
And made his way into the stranger-filled town.
Chapter 4
After stepping onto the street, Lawrence discovered that there wasn't any place for him to be.
The developments of the festival after sunset were completely opposite from the day's activities, being completely devoid of the latter's happy atmosphere.
Not to mention the makeup-wearing paraders, even the puppets made of wheat or wood were each armed with weapons and battling non-stop. As for the giant puppets that could not be armed with weapons, they were brough
t into the fight as weapons themselves.
As angry cries sounded, the giant wheat puppets crashed into one another. Every time debris flew out, the sound of cheers would follow. The instruments surrounding the site played turbulently, not losing at all to the wild atmosphere of the battle, and the black-clad people were given the responsibility of singing a chilling battle hymn.
Lawrence avoided the crowds and headed north. The clamor turned over and over in his head, which he could hardly bear.
Despite walking continuously along the long street, the clamorous atmosphere was still present, giving Lawrence the impression that the din would never cease. Lawrence continued to endure the torture of the noise, his spirits being gnawed away slowly as if under a witch's curse, and at the same moment, the series of interactions with Horo that had occurred just before surfaced in his mind. Lawrence saw himself standing before Horo, and the sight of himself being so hopelessly useless made him want to scream out in agony, but he held it in forcefully.
Because Lawrence still retained some reason at least, he told himself that if he possessed the energy to scream, why not put that energy and strength into improving the situation.
Yet, after a rational analysis, Lawrence found that the current situation yielded no possibilities whatsoever. Given Horo's current state, perhaps she just might accept Amati's proposal. Because in this battle where effortless gains could be made through the rising prices, Amati might have been the first merchant to become involved, so he had most likely already made a considerable amount of profit.
If Lawrence did not think of something fast, perhaps Amati would not even wait till sunset the next day to bring out all his money and declare the contract complete.
When Lawrence made such a claim he knew he was not being overly pessimistic. "….”
Lawrence felt as if his stomach had been seized by a sense of anxiety, and could not suppress a sound similar to a whimper.
He gazed upward at the dark sky, and covered his eyes.
If Lawrence could not stop Amati from continuing to make huge profits, he could only return to the inn and try to make up with Horo.
Yet, it was clear to see that making up with Horo right now was even more difficult than stopping Amati from making a huge profit.
What am I to you? Horo's question had inevitably caused Lawrence to sink into contemplation on the spot. Even now, after quite some time had passed, Lawrence still could not answer this question.
Lawrence indeed wished very much to be able to travel with Horo, and the idea that Horo would really marry Amati filled his heart with anxiety.
Yet, after regurgitating all that had come to pass just now like a cow, what emerged from his heart was a sour feeling even more intense than stomach acid, causing his face to contort involuntarily.
Within his heart, Lawrence seriously saw Horo as an important existence, but on being asked what kind of existence that was, he could not give a clear answer.
Lawrence massaged his cheeks, trying to forcefully loosen his stiffened face. How could something like this have happened?
Thinking back on it now, the joyous and bustling festival atmosphere seemed but a dream. Surely even the almighty God could not have anticipated such a reversal in the course of a just a few short hours (note: I have to disagree…but whatever).
Ahead and within his line of sight, Lawrence could see a procession of paraders sword dancing as they moved along the street. The totally changed parading procession gave off a savage and ominous air, completely devoid of the reveling atmosphere during the day. Lawrence felt that this was just like his current relationship with Horo, and could not help turning away and quickening his pace.
Lawrence regretted having left the letter on the desk. He felt as if all of this would never have happened if he had not left the letter behind. If he had found a good opportunity to explain everything to her, surely the quick-witted Horo would not have lost her senses like that.
Moreover, Horo's words had pointed out Lawrence's selfishness and lack of resolve. Even if he were to return to Horo in a nonchalant manner, Lawrence did not feel that he would be able to have a good talk with her.
Yet in the end, Lawrence was still unable to come up with a good solution. Unconsciously, he had made his way to Kumerson's lonely northern district.
Because he had been walking very slowly, it took him a considerable amount of time to arrive here, but he had not noticed at all.
Even though the town's atmosphere gave one the impression that every corner was stuffed with people, this was, after all, the northern district. Even on the main streets, the pedestrians were few in number. The marching processions did not seem to come by these parts.
Within such stillness, Lawrence was finally able to calm down and take a few good deep breaths. He turned around, and once again set his mind to thinking as he walked slowly on. First offAt this point, it was impossible to get Horo to calm down and listen to him through mere sincerity. Besides, he didn't even possess the confidence to be able to look Horo in the eye.
As such, putting aside whether or not he would be able to make up with Horo, at least he could not allow her to have a good reason to leave and throw herself into Amati's embrace.
As long as Amati could not come up with the thousand silver coins, Horo would still be tied down by the fetters of debt. Although he still could not say whether Horo would be willing to listen to him and stay by his side, at least he could use debt as a means to justify his reasoning.
Having thought of this, Lawrence felt that it was still necessary to plan towards preventing Amati from completing the contract.
Under the peculiar atmosphere of the festival, it could be said that the price of pyrite was exhibiting an abnormal increase. According to Mark's prediction, the price would continue to go up. Although Lawrence did not know how much pyrite Amati had on hand or how much money he had made, he had heard that current value of pyrite was several times to several tens of times greater than its import price, so if Amati had invested enough money in the trade, he might have already made a thousand silver coins by now.
However, on this point, the fortunate thing was that pyrite was not a mineral that was mined in large quantities.
Even if the profit were several times or even several tens of times greater than the import price, not much money could be made if the invested sum was too low.
Of course, Amati did not necessarily need to rely on pyrite to make the one thousand silver coins, but such an idea was simply self-consolation (note: if that doesn't seem to make much sense, then you and I are in agreement. This is possibly an error in the Chinese translation. The way I interpret it is that Lawrence is still considering the very unlikely possibility that Amati isn't taking advantage of the rising pyrite prices to make money, though at the same time he realizes that this is nearly impossible.)(DissmalScientist: It sounds to me like Lawrence is pointing out that Amati has other sources of income).
Whatever the case, it was absolutely necessary to prevent Amati from continuing to make huge profits. Perhaps it would be even more appropriate to say it was necessary to cause him to suffer losses, because if Amati were to bring out his entire fortune along with the resolve to complete the contract regardless of whether or not it would affect his future business, then it was quite possible for him to gather the thousand silver coins.
However, if it was difficult to prevent Amati from making further profit, it was even more important to make him suffer losses.
Dealing with Amati with a frontal assault was absolutely impossible. As a result of the rising price of pyrite, Amati was clearly able to make huge gains, so there was no need for him to pretend anything.
If there were no reason for him to pretend, then he would not fall for some petty trick. What was to be done then…?
After turning these thoughts over and over in his head countless times, Lawrence still ran into the same problem. Suddenly he looked to the side and said: "Aie, Ho-”
Even though Lawrence wa
s able to stop himself before saying "ro," alleviating his situation somewhat, ultimately he was unable to avoid the odd glance of a man dressed like a craftsman who was just passing by.
Once again Lawrence could feel just how enormous the little figure who was always by his side wearing an arrogant smile had come to be.
He could not help wondering how he had ever managed to pass so many years alone in the past.
If it were Horo, perhaps she would help come up with a good solution. Even if she did not come up with a good plan, she would probably be able to provide some kind of hint at least.
Lawrence realized that, since some time unbeknownst to him, he had built up such a dependency on Horo.
What am I to you?
Seeing himself like this, Lawrence could not give a confident reply to that question at all. In that case, Lawrence should be asking: "If it were Horo, how would she think about this?”
Of course, Lawrence did not think that he could copy Horo's incredible logical thinking perfectly. Even so, Lawrence was still a merchant after all.
As soon as a merchant came upon some unfamiliar formulation, it was his job to make the formulation his own by the very next day, in order to continue surpassing his competitors.
The essence of Horo's thinking was seeing every little detail of a whole situation.
Moreover, faced with a situation like the present one, Horo would not make any divisions, but rather analyze the situation from every possible angle without omitting a single detail.
This kind of thinking appeared simple, but was actually very difficult in practice. Sometimes an idea that appeared to have come straight out of the blue in fact possessed a very natural quality (note: natural as in "of course, why didn't I think of that before?").
Amati was able to make a profit out of the increasing price of pyrite. What way was there to make him suffer a big loss?
Of all the possible methods, what was the simplest and most difficult one to conceive? Lawrence began to think.
He contemplated with a mind unrestrained by a merchant's common sense. With that, there was only one answer that he could think of.