“I’m afraid to even ask,” I say through a laugh when she pulls out a giant poster board.
“Rules are simple…I asked Landon questions—”
“When?” I shout, making Penny dump half her champagne in her lap.
“A while ago. How do you think I put this together so fast? I’ve been planning your bridal shower and bachelorette party since the day he slipped that beauty on your finger.”
Theresa tapes the poster board against the wall. There are several colorful cards in the middle, all with a category at the top. Then there are giant pictures on each side, one of me and one of Landon, with a string of Christmas lights dangling down.
“Oh boy…”
Theresa stands back to plug in the lights, which don’t go on.
“Okay,” she says like it’s not supposed to work, “I asked Landon to answer questions all about him. Every question you get right, I’ll twist the bulb and light you up. Every question you get wrong, Landon gets a light.”
“What do I get when I win?” I ask, batting a balloon Jaycee tosses at me.
“A surprise. And bragging rights.” She points at Jaycee and Penny. “These are your lifelines. You can only use them once in each category, so choose wisely.”
Penny tips back her flute and pours another. I better use her fast, before she’s too out of her mind to be of any help.
“Okay,” I say, clapping my hands and rubbing them. “I’m ready.”
“Which one you want?” Theresa points to the cards.
I gaze across the categories, immediately dismissing “Parents, Pets, and Siblings” and going for the less scary “Your Body Is a Wonderland.”
Theresa plucks off the top one with a grin. “Name a scar Landon has in a place that’s usually hidden, and describe how he got it.”
“Wow, getting personal right off the bat,” I say, and Theresa shrugs with a coy grin. “Well, if it’s the one I’m thinking…he has a scar on his inner thigh, really close to his lovely man jewels, and he got it from one of those stand-up roller coasters. Went down the hill and hit the bottom with a delightful pinching. ‘At least it missed the goods,’ ” I say in my “Landon” voice.
Jaycee snorts in a high-pitched laughter, a helium balloon pinched closed between her fingers. Theresa lights up two Christmas lights on my side for using the exact quote Landon used in his answer, and Penny downs another glass of champagne.
Feeling high on my horse, I quickly pick a question from “Living with Your Lover.”
“If your place caught on fire, what are three things Landon would save?”
My horse lowers on its haunches. I’m stumped silly, but I take a guess. “His laptop.” That one has to be on the list. All his footage is on that thing. That and the hard drive. “Oh! His hard drive. And, um…his Beetlejuice cap. It’s his favorite.”
Theresa smiles and clicks on three lights for Landon.
“I didn’t get any?”
“He was actually very romantic for this answer.”
I snort. Landon is rarely romantic in front of anyone else but me. And even then it’s more playful than anything else.
“What were they?”
“You.”
“I didn’t know that was an option!” I laugh.
“The bowling score sheet from the wall.”
I internally sigh. He looks at that thing all the time and says he let me win that night.
Theresa grins at whatever expression is on my face, then says, “And your iPod.”
“My iPod? What a liar!” I laugh. “He hates my music.”
“He said he could see you outside with the bowling scores in one hand, the iPod in the other, and while the place is up in smoke, you’d turn to him and press play on—”
“You are my fire, the one desire,” I sing in a perfect Backstreet Boys impression.
Jaycee puts a hand to her chest and says in her very helium-filled voice, “You two are so adorable…and such losers.”
We laugh, and Theresa lights up one of my lights before crossing the room and taking the champagne bottle from Penny, who was about to pour yet another flute. Penny says, “Hey,” but doesn’t put up too much of a fight.
I go through all the categories, including “Parents, Pets, and Siblings,” extremely happy that most of the questions were about Buster. But Landon and I are pretty much tied on the lights, and I’m a bit disappointed because I should’ve aced this game.
“I can’t believe I don’t know his shoe size!” I shout as Theresa lights another Landon bulb. “And I think he’s totally giving all these loving answers because he’s in trouble.”
“I asked before he was in trouble, remember?” Theresa plucks the last card from the board. “Maybe he’s more romantic than you think.”
“Traitor.”
She wrinkles her nose at me and reads the last question. “What is the thing Landon is looking forward to most about your wedding day?”
“Sex,” I joke, then go to wave my hands at her before she lights Landon up, but she twists one of my bulbs instead.
“You win!”
“He said sex? Really?”
She laughs. “Maybe you’ll win that contest, too.”
I give a half-chuckle, but my chest feels a little twang in it, because I’m not sure if he was joking or serious. All his other answers seemed heartfelt and cute. I’d nearly forgotten I haven’t seen him in three days. Now all I can think is, “Am I just a piece of ass?”
“What?” Penny says, shaking her head at me. “You are way more than a piece of ass.”
There I go thinking out loud again.
Jaycee nods. “Landon is so in love with you. You remember when you visited the set? He had something so far up his rear end that day that Jace and I were ready to walk off, but then you showed up and he was finally tolerable. Couldn’t stop smiling. Jace kept asking him if he’d gotten lucky in the prop room and if we needed to sanitize anything.”
“Gross,” I say, while Penny says, “Stupid Jace.”
Theresa kneels in front of me with a giant present. “Landon loves you. Why else would he be taking himself off the market so young?”
I know it’s meant to make me feel better, but it doesn’t. Theresa’s been supportive, my ear, my cheesecake bud, my wedding dress zipper-upper, my party planner, and one kick-ass MOH, and even though I had a feeling she thought Landon and I are young for this, she never once said it until now.
Theresa lifts the gift up, covering her mouth slightly with its bulk. “Open me,” she says, shaking the contents. I laugh and rip the side open, trying to ignore the ugly twang in my chest. I wish she hadn’t confiscated the alcohol.
Chapter 25
“Argue naked.”
Theresa relaxes next to me in the back of the cab on the way home, her curly hair tickling the skin near the neckline of my shirt. I grab the phone in her hand and scroll through the feed. She posted a status earlier of “Advice for our soon-to-be bride!” with a lovely candid photo of me stuffing my face with a Toblerone. So much for walking off those calories.
“Did Jace post that?”
“Of course, but so did Helen and Nicki, which solidifies its validity.”
“Big words for you, especially since you’re buzzed.”
“Just buzzed. I only had the one glass.” She takes her phone back. “Do you think Landon will be home?”
“He better be.”
She laughs and scrolls to a comment and deletes it.
“What did that one say?”
“Oh, someone’s being stupid.”
“Was it Jace again?”
She shakes her head. “Someone pulling the ‘get out of it while you can’ card.”
“Cynic?”
“No, more like someone who thinks you should be older to make big decisions like marriage.”
I blow out a sigh, waving the hair that’s fallen from my ponytail away from my face. “Tell me honestly…is there a bet going on how long we’ll last?”
“Not that I’m aware of.”
“But you think it too, right? That I’m too young to get married.”
She shifts in her seat, adjusting the seat belt. “I don’t think you’re too young, I just think you’re young. And before you even give me that look I’m not saying it’s a bad thing. I’ve told you before that I don’t ever want to get married, but for you and Landon? I can’t picture you without each other.” Her nose wrinkles in a mock-disgusted face, which I shove her for. “Why not start as soon as you can, right?”
“Right.”
“And it’s not like you aren’t doing everything that married couples do already.”
“What do you mean?”
She brushes her hair from her shoulder. “You live together. You share a bank account. You’re not even having sex as much as you used to.”
I smack her arm with a laugh. “I cut him off for a reason.”
“Yeah…to have crazy, hot sex like you had when you first got together, and not the boring ‘we’ve been together forever’ sex you’ve become accustomed to.”
Ouch. I know it’s true, but it sounds so much harsher coming from an outside party. Her words slam into my chest so hard she immediately grabs hold of my arm and says, “I’m sorry. It’s the champagne, the fact that he’s left you high and dry for a few days, and…that I’m going to miss you when you get married.”
I tuck a piece of hair behind my ear, shaking my head. “I’m not going anywhere.”
“Yes, you are.” She toys with the phone case, peeling it from the top then snapping it back on. “It’s going to be different. He’ll be your best friend. He’ll be the one you talk to, spend time with, make decisions with. And you’ll grow old together and have babies and move to LA when he gets famous and I’ll…”
I loop my arm through hers and rest my head on her shoulder. “I’ll always need you. Trust me. Especially when he’s being a dumbass.”
“Like today.”
“And yesterday.”
“And if he’s a dumbass tonight, I got your back.”
I lean up as the cab pulls into our apartment garage. “He’s not replacing you. I just have two best friends.”
She slides across the seat and hands the driver the fare. We carry our heels when we get to the elevator, both sighing in relief as our feet take a rest.
“Thank you for the distraction,” I tell her with a hug outside my door.
“I’m waiting here till I know he’s inside.”
I laugh and unlock the door. The living room light is on and socks are front and center on the carpet. Suddenly my stomach is filled with those devil butterflies.
“He’s here.”
She leans past me and yells, “You better have a good excuse, Landon, or I would advise you to wear a cup next time you see me!”
“Shh…” I say through my giggles. “Good night.”
“Text me.”
I push her out the door and wait till I hear her get inside her place before turning around. Landon’s leaning against the wall in the hallway in his plain black baseball cap, loose tie around his neck, blue button-down sleeves pushed up his arms, and black slacks. I almost ask him why he’s dressed like that, but I don’t want to be the first to say something. After all, I wasn’t the one who went poof for three days.
He smiles, and I know the smile. It’s his scared smile.
“Hey.”
Chapter 26
“Hey,” I say back, tossing my pocketbook and bag of presents on the card table.
“How was the shower?” he asks as if nothing is wrong. Liz, do not kill him.
“It was fun. How was your three days not talking to me?”
He lowers his head, scratching the back of his neck. “Not good. I missed you.”
I cross my arms and dig my nails into my skin to keep from smacking him. “Please grab a shovel for that hole you’re digging.”
He half-grins, and damn him for looking good doing it. But this is no time for smiles. No half-smiles or scared smiles or love-you smiles. None of that shit.
“Where were you, Landon?”
“Isn’t it obvious?”
He gestures to his attire, and I slowly shake my head.
“Uh…”
He half-smiles again. Stop that. “I was looking for a job.”
“What? Why?”
“Because we have no money.”
“Yeah, which is why I’m working maximum overtime. You didn’t have to leave.”
He pushes from the wall and takes a step toward me. “I did. I needed to do something.”
“That’s fine, okay. If you want to get another job, I get it,” I say, picking up his socks and walking past him to the bedroom. I turn on the bedside lamp and toss the socks in the laundry basket. He follows right behind.
“I just need something more stable.”
“Okay.”
“And I didn’t want to come home until I found something.”
I pull off my heels and set them as neatly as I can in the closet with my shaking hands. “Why didn’t you tell me that over the phone?”
“I wasn’t sure what I was doing. And I didn’t want you to worry more about money.”
“I don’t care about that. I care about you. About us. And about warming my feet in the bed when they’re cold.”
He laughs at my joke and tentatively crosses the room and pulls me into his arms.
“I can warm them tonight.”
I breathe deep, inhaling the cologne on his shirt and yelling at myself for not being more stubborn as my arms wrap around him too.
“So did you find something, then? Is that why you’re home?”
He shakes his head. “SOL.”
I wiggle from his hold and walk to my side of the bed. My molars grind as I keep my tongue from unleashing its wrath. But I know saying whatever I want to say will make him upset, it’ll make me more upset, and I really don’t want to fight. I just want to sleep and hopefully figure out a calm way to tell him he’s a complete dumbass if he thought leaving was best.
“I love you,” he says, and I chuck the top sheet down on the bed with an uncontrollable roll of my eyes.
“Love you, too,” I grumble. Yes, damn it, I love you, but you piss me off and you still haven’t apologized.
“Wait…you’re still mad?”
I look up from the bed and see his genuine confusion. And I can’t bite my tongue anymore. “Of course I’m still mad. You left for three days, Landon!”
He takes a step back, eyes wide at first, then his jaw clenches and his eyes narrow. “To look for a better job! More money, benefits.” He tosses his hand out at me. “So maybe you’d be able to work a normal shift again.”
He did not just make this about me.
“Well, you could’ve done that here. Why was it so important for you to leave?”
“I was embarrassed, all right?” His face goes red and his eyes gloss over, and my heart pounds like a two-ton weight. “I make shit. I don’t do shit for you. What the hell am I bringing into this relationship?”
I gulp and blink, and great, my eyes are watering now too. “You have no idea how important you are to me, do you? How important it is that you’re here.”
“It’s not good enough. I’m not good enough. That’s why I left.”
“Stop thinking that.”
He shakes his head, like he doesn’t believe what I’m saying or he doesn’t want to. And it pisses me off more that he won’t just say “Okay” or “Thank you” or anything that means he actually heard the sincerity of how I think of him. Instead he stands by the other side of the bed, voice shaking as he tries to keep it from being so loud he wakes the neighbors.
“I was doing this for you. For us. So we don’t have to raise a family in a hole—”
“That’s why you’re directing! That’s why you’ve put so much into making movies, right?”
“That’s never gonna happen.”
“Stop thinking that!”
“It’s not!”
“Then why are you doing it?”
“I’m not anymore.”
My two-ton heart stops. “What?”
“I’m not doing that anymore. Once I get a job, that’ll be it. I’ll stay there and work my way up or whatever normal shit people do and we’ll have medical benefits and I can have paid days off and a nine-to-five schedule which makes sense for a family and for marriage and for you, so if macaroni gets spilled again we don’t have to worr…What the hell are you doing?”
My shirt falls to the floor, and I go to yank off my bra, getting tangled in the straps. “I’m undressing. What does it look like I’m doing?”
His gaze flicks down when I finally free myself from the bra. I start on my jeans’ zipper and he says, “Sorry, Liz, but I’m not exactly in the mood.”
I puff out a derisive snort. Like I’m in the mood either. But I twist my underwear off, kicking my clothes away with as much force as I can muster. “If you want to yell at me, you’re going to have to yell at me while I’m naked.”
His eyes narrow. “Fine.”
“Fine.”
He practically tears the buttons off his shirt before it leaves his body. “Fine.”
“Fine.” My arms cross as my eyes drift to his zipper as he struggles to get out of his clothes as fast as I got out of mine. He shoves his slacks and boxers to his ankles, straightens, and echoes my crossed-arm stance.
“Okay,” I say. “Have at it.”
He pauses, biting his bottom lip while I see the corners of his mouth twitch and twitch like he’s desperately trying not to smile. I have to force my own laugh back. Finally Jace has some valid advice, and the whole situation makes my voice come out less harsh than it has been.
“You’re not allowed to give up everything you want just for me.”