“You could always write him.”
She shook her head. “No. There’s no point drawing out what can never be more. What your brother and I shared was here, in this moment in time, on this mountain, and will never survive anywhere else. Once he makes his vows there will be no undoing them. I wouldn’t want to do that to him, remind him of what can never be again.”
It was surprising that Braydon could discuss such things with her. She appreciated his friendship, saying certain things out loud to him made her reality easier to accept, as if with each spoken word she was making her own vows to let Colin go.
Braydon eventually stood and stretched. He kissed her on the cheek and told her he would see her in the morning.
It wasn’t long before Sam was shutting out the downstairs lights and climbing the steps herself. When she reached her door she paused. The yellow glow of light fanned out onto the wood planked floor from below Colin’s door. He was so capable in so many matters, yet with love he was just a boy.
* * * *
A few hours later Sam awoke to someone touching her shoulder.
“Sammy, wake up.”
She grumbled and slowly lifted her lashes. It was still dark. Her eyes squinted as her vision cleared from blurry to merely fuzzy and she saw Colin standing over her.
“Colin? What time is it?”
“Four. Come on,” he whispered.
“Where are we going?”
“To the lake.”
“It’s the middle of the night.”
“I know, but I promised you I’d teach you how to swim before you left.”
Disappointment flooded her sleep-addled brain. “I don’t want to swim.”
He pulled her out of bed anyway. “We have to. It’s the one thing I can give you. Now come on, put some pants on. Where are your shoes?”
She groggily stood in place and watched him shuffle around her room searching for her things. He handed her a pair of pants and she tossed them on the bed.
“What are you doing? Put them on.”
“I have to pee,” she grumbled and shut the bathroom door.
The florescent lights of the bathroom helped her wake up painfully fast. Washing the sleep out of her eyes at the sink, she proceeded to brush her teeth. She probably wouldn’t get a chance to go back to bed, but she could sleep on the train.
When she entered the bedroom again Colin sat on the bed holding her flip-flops. She climbed into her jeans and buttoned the snap. Colin handed her the sandals and she slipped them onto her feet. Gazing at him, she sent him a pointed look that said, at this hour this was as ready as she was going to get.
It didn’t occur to her until they reached the lake that she’d forgotten to slip into her suit. As Colin pulled off his shirt she stilled, mesmerized by the way the moon glinted against his abs and shoulders. He tossed his shirt to the sand and faced her.
“I forgot my suit.”
He looked at her for a moment appearing to consider their options. Without a word he walked to her and lifted her tank top over her arms and tossed it to the ground. She had been sleeping so she was braless. The cool night air tickled her flesh and her nipples tightened. He stepped closer and the hard nubs pressed into his chest.
Head lowering, his eyes reflected the light thrown by the moon. His soft lips grazed hers and she sucked in a breath. Pulling her flush to his front, a thousand butterflies released in her belly as he kissed her.
He did not kiss her as a holy man or as a friend saying goodbye, but as a lover kissing his woman before embarking on a journey that he knew left little chance of his return. He tasted her and savored her, drank from her. Her body bent back as he tipped her head farther to take more of her. Her fervor rivaled his as she kissed him back.
They broke away from each other breathless. Fingers unbuttoned her jeans and slid them down her legs leaving her bare and standing before him in only her plain cotton panties. He took her hand and her soul anchored itself to his. Safe.
They walked with slow silent steps to the water and there was no apprehension, no fear of how this part of the earth could swallow her whole. She understood that there were greater things to fear, less physical pains. Drowning emotionally was a demon she now knew that made her old fears look like child’s play. She was foolish enough to follow him for the simple joy of it, the same as she had followed Meghan that wintry day they had lusted for an adventure.
There would always be different landmarks in her memory. This lake, this evening, would mark her time with Colin. It would represent her wordless farewell to the first man she ever loved. She pushed all mutinous thoughts away so that she could purely embrace the now.
The slumbering water jostled and rippled as they stepped down the bank. The depthless forests across the lake was only an inky backdrop to the majestic waters. Stars reflected on the surface winking with little ripples. The moon spilled into a wide silver puddle that danced with each step they took.
The water crested her knees and her body shivered. Colin held her close and never lessened his grip on her hand.
By the time her lower belly was wet she was anxious to move in up to her shoulders to slow the chill of the night air upon her flesh.
Colin moved her in front of him and held her back flush against his heated body as he guided them deeper. She had a moment of panic when her feet lost contact with the ground, the picturesque lake suddenly a deep abyss, but Colin didn’t let her thoughts take over.
His hands caressed her under the fluid weight of the water. His touch never moved beyond her stomach or shoulders, but her body awakened nonetheless.
When they reached the point they had gone to previously, Colin turned her to face him. He expected her to try to float on her own.
He widened his arms and held her by the hands as her body coasted away from his. Her legs instinctively kicked and swirled beneath her, working to keep her head above water.
She found it easiest to work in a pattern of swirl- swirl-kick, the swirls using less energy than the kicks. Her fingers gripped his hands tightly. They were her training wheels. Colin smiled and gently instructed her on ways to move her body.
When she noticed that he too was floating and no longer had his feet on the ground her concentration broke and she lost her pattern. The break in her momentum caused Sam to sink slightly. The moment the water touched her jaw she panicked and sputtered and instinctively reached for Colin’s body and tried to climb up his broad shoulders.
He laughed softly. “It’s okay. You’re doing fine. I got you.”
It took him being insistent and heavy-handed, but he somehow managed to pry her off of him.
“That’s it. Just keep kicking.” His left hand released her right hand. “Now swirl your arm around. Don’t panic or move too fast. It’s like peddling a bike. Sometimes a long slow stroke’s all you need.”
Sam was breathing fast, but more from nerves than exertion. She held his right hand tightly in her left and swirled sideways figure eights with her right on the other side of her. Her feet found their pattern again, his larger feet acting as their rudder.
When they faced the little floating dock in the distance she saw they were moving forward. Her legs now hung slightly behind her rather than below and with each kick she propelled herself closer to the dock. Understanding what she was doing she smiled.
“I’m doing it! I’m swimming!”
“Yes you are!” Colin laughed, finding as much joy in her achievement as she. “Come on. Let’s see if we can make it to the dock.”
She mentally measured the distance and refused to let her mind see it as daunting. It was a goal she needed to accomplish, a right of passage that would say more about her self-preservation and resolve than anything else could. Steeling herself for the crossing, she took a good deep breath and kicked long and hard.
They swam in silence, Samantha’s focus never leaving the prize. Colin held her hand and they became one, united, unsinkable. Faster than she thought possible the small dock loom
ed before her, much bigger than it had appeared from the beach.
Her movements became uncoordinated as her muscles began to quit a moment too soon and her mind tried to figure out what to do now. Needing her right arm to continue swirling to keep her afloat, she did the only thing she could. Her survival instincts took over and she released Colin’s hand and slapped her palm onto the cool weathered wood of the floating dock.
His hands caught the wood and they each slowed to catch their breath and give their muscles a moment to revive. He grinned at her, shimmering blue eyes flecked with green glittered like the two deep pools of water. She could drown in those eyes.
He pointed out a ladder she hadn’t noticed and instructed her to climb out so they could take a rest. Although her legs shook, her mind was wide-awake, adrenaline pumping through her at her major accomplishment.
She climbed out of the water and stood on the dock. Her eyes took in her new vantage point and saw the beautiful view anew. When she turned full circle, cataloging the spectacular panoramic display, Colin was standing before her.
Rivulets of water slipped over his chest. His damp flesh appeared blue under the moonlit sky.
Her body shivered as a breeze kissed her shoulders. Sam wondered if these mountains could talk or if the wind was God’s whisper to them.
Colin’s smile faded and he looked at her in a manner she had never seen before. There was such unspoken meaning in his expression. Her smile fell as well. His hand reached for hers, squeezing reassuringly. Sam stepped closer. Slowly, without haste, he leaned down and pressed his lips to hers.
His mouth was warm, a contrast to their cooling skin. She stepped into Colin’s arms and he held her as he kissed her. Her hair was wet at the tips and the pieces clumped together over his arm that had wrapped around her back. Her panties had sealed themselves over her flesh like a second skin and her breasts hung heavily as she pressed them into his chest.
Her fingers traveled over his broad sturdy shoulders and down his arms. His tongue tickled hidden corners of her mouth and teased the soft pillows of her lips. Seemingly in accordance, they both lowered to the dock as one, Colin holding her as he guided her to her back.
His mouth nipped at her jaw and sipped from the crevice between her shoulder and neck. She arched and sighed when her nipples abraded against his flesh. His palm reached for her breast and squeezed her. She needed the pressure, needed to know he held her tight, not by chance, but out of want.
His thumb tripped over her nipple and his lips found her other breast. The heat of his mouth enclosing over her hardened tip was heaven. He suckled her breasts deeply until they became red and pointed. His tongue passed his lips and she watched as he licked at each proud peak. When his gaze met hers, she saw the shameless seduction in his eyes and her insides melted.
Colin’s hands found the edge of her panties and peeled them away from her hips. The material slurped and clung as he tried to separate it from her skin and they giggled. He tossed the wet material aside and it landed with a soft splat.
Heavy palms slowly pressed her knees wide. If ever there was an expression of reverence, Colin was wearing it. Lowering his head, he brought his mouth to her sex and softly kissed her there.
His tongue pierced her folds and traveled in and out of her channel then up and down her crease. His thumb found her clit and began to run in insistent circles while his other hand pinched at her nipples. Her bottom raised off the dock as the sensation became too much, too fast. She moaned and cried out, uncaring of her passion echoing off the forest walls. The orgasm happened so quickly, it blindsided her.
Her legs trembled as Colin placed a few soft kisses on her thighs and sat back on his knees. Focusing on one bright star that still shined in the pinkening sky, she breathed as her heartbeat slowly return to normal. Colin pushed back between her knees and kissed a trail up her belly and to her breasts.
When he reached her mouth awareness stepped in and she tensed. He was naked. His arousal hung heavily against her belly as he kissed her. Her body tightened as she wondered what his nudity meant. His length dragged between her legs and over her sex. His skin there was hot and smooth, yet hard at the same time. He was large, but Colin was a large man so that made sense.
Her sex wept for him to become a part of her. They kissed slowly and passionately for several minutes and with ever slight change of their position, his erection seemed to settle closer to her opening, as if it had a mind of its own and knew where it needed to go.
Her moisture coated his flesh and the image in her mind only made her wetter. His cock slipped over her folds, nudging ever so slightly past her lips. His hips were broad between her thighs and her legs spread to accommodate him.
There was no thought about the hardness of the dock or the dawn creeping up on them. The only thought she had was of him being with her, filling her, making love to her once and for all. She knew she couldn’t keep him, but she wanted this part of him. She wanted his virginity and needed to give him hers.
Instinctively she maneuvered her hips under him and somehow aligned his sex with hers, using skill she didn’t know she possessed, and thrust her body up at his. He sunk into her and they both hissed and stilled.
He broke the kiss and turned his face away from her, resting his forehead on her shoulder as he breathed. She knew he was struggling. He was inside of her, but not yet deep enough to breach her, to break the mark of her virtue. He panted and she waited.
Slowly he raised his head and looked down at her, a sheen of unshed tears in his eyes. “You’re the only woman who will ever know this side of me Sammy. This part of me belongs only to you.” He slammed his hips forward entering her completely.
There was a momentary shock and pinch, but her elation at having him inside of her overrode those lesser feelings. The fullness and completeness she experienced in that moment was indescribable. He seemed to be analyzing the overwhelming sensation as well. His eyes remained closed, his expression pinched, and she hoped she did not just force him to do something he hadn’t wanted to do.
Insecurely, she whispered his name. “Colin?”
He breathed a sigh and slowly opened his eyes. In that moment she saw more than the man. She was seeing his naked soul, bare and vulnerable in a way he’d never showed anyone else.
“Dear God, Samantha, never had I imagined…”
Words seemed to fail him. She raised a hand and brushed her fingertips along the side of his face. He pressed his cheek into her palm.
“I love you, Colin.”
“I love you too, Samantha. More than any man should love any woman.”
He adjusted his arms and braced his palms on the wood beside her shoulders. The first thrust was slow. His body pulled from hers and her sex fought to hold him there. When he pushed deep, her slickness accepted him without hindrance. They moaned and found a rhythm as one. He slid over her, gliding in and out, the pressure building with each sure thrust.
The weight of him between her legs was something cherished, knowing she would not feel the weight of a man there again, likely for a long, long time. When he drove into her deeply she felt it all the way to her shoulders as if her spinal cord was tingling out to every nerve of her body. He waited, seated deep inside of her, allowing her to experience the fullness with each stroke. When she rotated her hips beneath him she could cause him to press into soft tissue that was especially sensitive to his presence. She loved the feel of her mound pressing against his pelvis, his hair there abrading her deliciously.
Lifting her hips, they moaned in uncontainable pleasure. While his flesh rubbed coarsely over her clit his length reached a new sweet spot.
They repeated the motion and realized they were onto something incredible. Mimicking the move again and again, coming back to it faster than the time before, they began to grind and thrust their bodies together, Colin picking up power with each pump of his hips.
Sam grasped the back of his neck tightly as he drove into her with forceful, quick strokes. Th
ey moaned and murmured to the beat of his thrusts. Sam’s back slid against the weathered dock and Colin lifted one arm and held her hip to keep her in place.
He plunged into her with such intensity that her body coiled tighter than a snake ready to spring. There was probably some ironic biblical parody about a serpent and Eve seducing Adam leading to the downfall of man, but Samantha allowed no judgment to tarnish this moment for her. There’d be a day that she would have to answer for her selfish sins, but that day was not today.
Their slick bodies became frantic, as if they were trying to not just be one with each other, but break through one another. Finally, her center twisted too tight and, like a universe being born, she shattered from the inside out. Colin gave a guttural groan and fed himself into her one last time before heat filled her and eventually seeped down her thighs.
He kissed her hard, passionately, and she refused to cry.
As she came back to herself her mind slowly filled with unutterable fears. It was not a vibrant dawn, but a melancholy morning. The crystalline skyline beckoned the blue, but Sam saw the coming clouds. Dawn's magnificence was doomed to fade on such a day and she suddenly felt engulfed by the waters that surrounded her, as if she’d have to swim alone evermore.
“I want this to be our goodbye, Colin,” she whispered. “This is how I want to remember you.”
He looked at her, such resigned sadness surrounding his eyes, but said nothing, only nodded.
* * * *
When they pulled up to the house a while later everything was quiet. There was only a moment of silence, weighted in unspeakable regret and longing that passed between them before Sam climbed out of the car. She stood facing Colin, as he seemed to search for the right words.
It was better this way. She didn’t want to hear his goodbye. Words would only cheapen the memory. Standing stoically before him, she looked him in the eyes.
“I wish you the best of luck, Colin. Thank you for these two weeks. I’ll never forget them.”