MICHELE JAFFE
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A division of Penguin Young Readers Group
Published by the Penguin Group
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Copyright © 2014 Penguin Group (USA) LLC
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ISBN: 978-1-101-59641-8
This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places, and incidents either are the product of the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously, and any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, businesses, companies, events, or locales is entirely coincidental.
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Contents
TITLE PAGE
COPYRIGHT
DEDICATION
PROLOGUE
FELLOWSHIP INTERVIEW
CHAPTER 1
CHAPTER 2
CHAPTER 3
CHAPTER 4
CHAPTER 5
CHAPTER 6
CHAPTER 7
CHAPTER 8
CHAPTER 9
CHAPTER 10
CHAPTER 11
CHAPTER 12
CHAPTER 13
CHAPTER 14
CHAPTER 15
CHAPTER 16
CHAPTER 17
CHAPTER 18
CHAPTER 19
CHAPTER 20
CHAPTER 21
CHAPTER 22
CHAPTER 23
CHAPTER 24
CHAPTER 25
CHAPTER 26
CHAPTER 27
CHAPTER 28
CHAPTER 29
CHAPTER 30
CHAPTER 31
CHAPTER 32
CHAPTER 33
EPILOGUE
ACKNOWLEDGMENTS
This book is dedicated to my friend Meg, whose awesomeness cannot be encompassed by all the adjectives in the dictionary even if you used each of them a hundred googol times.
PROLOGUE
WEEK 5
Her ears were ringing, and there was a metallic taste in her mouth.
Where was she? What had happened?
Sadie glanced around the room, the uneven stacks of boxes looming like cliffs in the inadequate light from the high windows. The sounds of someone clipping their nails and watching a nature program came from inside the office up ahead, the announcer saying, “. . . but the natural habitat of these majestic creatures is succumbing to the drumbeat of civilization.”
He moved toward the office. As he walked Sadie felt his right hand tighten and realized he was holding something, something she couldn’t identify. His grip felt strange, less sensitive than usual.
Gloves, she realized as he brought his hands up and she saw them. He lifted the edge of the right one just past the scar on his wrist to glance at the Mickey Mouse watch, which showed nine thirty exactly. Why would he be wearing glo—
She saw it then. The object in his hand.
He was holding a gun.
Her mind reeled. No, she thought, then yelled, No! Whatever you are planning, stop. Don’t do this. It won’t get you what you want. But he’d perfected his ability to ignore her now. She felt as if he’d built a wall between them, impervious and reflective, so everything she said just reverberated back.
He took a step forward, then another. Dread filled her. She wanted to close her eyes, look away, but that wouldn’t change anything. He raised the gun, and as he stepped into the office she heard him think, Watch this, Sadie.
As if she had a choice.
FELLOWSHIP INTERVIEW
ROQUE MIND CORPS
CANDIDATE: SADIE AMES
INTERVIEWER: CURTIS PINTER
LOCATION: DETROIT UNION CLUB
DATE: APRIL 25
OFFICIAL TRANSCRIPT
CURTIS PINTER: Please sit down, Miss Ames.
SADIE AMES: Thank you.
CP: My name is Curtis Pinter. I am legally bound to inform you that this interview is being recorded with an Enhanced Veracity Evaluation system. Essentially a lie detector. Are you comfortable with that?
SA: I see no reason to object.
CP: Good. We’ll begin with simple questions to get some baseline readings. What is your full name?
SA: Sophia Adelaide Ames. But I prefer to be called Sadie.
CP: What are your parents’ names?
SA: Grace and Hector Ames.
CP: Do you have any siblings?
SA: No, I’m an only child.
CP: Where were you born?
SA: Here in Detroit.
CP: What is your favorite book?
SA: Descartes, Discourse on the Method.
CP: Would you say you’re an introvert or an extrovert?
SA: Introvert.
CP: Do you have a best friend?
SA: Yes. Her name is Decca.
CP: A boyfriend.
SA: Yes. Pete.
CP: You know why you are here?
SA: Because I am a finalist for the Mind Corps Fellowship.
CP: Exactly. Very prestigious. There are seventy-five finalists out of a pool of over a thousand. Fewer than half of those will be made Mind Corps Fellows. So, it is exciting company.
SA: I feel lucky to have made the cut.
CP: I doubt very much that you believe in luck, Miss Ames. Unless you think all your achievements are simply your good fortune?
SA: I wouldn’t say that. I work very hard. But I was lucky to be born into the kind of family that can encourage and support my hard work.
CP: What are the first three words you think your friends would use to describe you?
SA: Loyal. Driven. Analytical.
CP: What sorts of things do you enjoy doing with them?
SA: The same things everyone does. Watching movies or going out for dinner or to events.
CP: What kinds of events?
SA: At our country club.
CP: Have you ever rebelled against your parents or done anything to test your relationship?
SA: When I was five I shoplifted a Snickers bar.
CP: What happened?
SA: I got caught.
CP: How were you punished?
SA: I was so upset about having broken the rules, my parents thought that was punishment enough, so they didn’t bother.
CP: That’s an interesting way to put it. “Didn’t bother.” Do you wish they would have?
SA: That was a figure of speech. They were right. It taught me to be self-disciplined. I never stole anything again.
CP: Do you spend a lot of time together?
SA: As much as we can. We’re all busy, and they go out most weeknights.
CP: They don’t take you?
SA: Their events are almost always work related—dinners with my father’s clients or fund-raisers for my mother’s charities—so there would be no place for me.
CP: Who do you have dinner with when they’re out?
SA: My homework, generally.
CP: It doesn’t bother you to be abandoned?
SA: I don’t feel abandoned. I’m very proud of my parents and the work they do.
CP: What kind of work is that?
SA: My father has a holistic investment practice, and my mother is on the board of several not-for-profit agencies that focus on im
proving conditions for children living at or below the poverty line.
CP: Here in Detroit?
SA: Yes. Mainly in City Center but wherever the need is greatest.
CP: Does she spend time in City Center?
SA: No, her work is more at the fund-raising and oversight level.
CP: You live in Lower Long Lake. That’s, what, twenty-five minutes from City Center?
SA: I suppose, on the Zipway. I think it’s about thirty miles. On regular streets it would probably take an hour.
CP: Have you ever been there?
SA: A busload of us went on a school photography trip this year to take pictures of the abandoned Barrington Building.
CP: What did you think?
SA: It was an excellent subject for the class.
CP: I meant what did you think of City Center?
SA: Oh. We only drove through. We didn’t really spend time there.
CP: You must have had some observations, even from the window of the bus?
SA: I noticed the street names because my mother is on the mayor’s steering committee for the Road Sponsorship program, so when I saw Fitness Zone Boulevard and CouponCouponCoupon.com Way, I felt like I was seeing her work.
CP: If you are accepted as a Mind Corps Fellow, you will likely to end up in an environment with a stronger resemblance to City Center than your community. It will be chaotic. You will see things that make you uneasy. Do you think you would be able to maintain your composure and objectivity?
SA: Yes. Especially if I can help change that and improve the lives of those who live there.
CP: You are finishing your junior year of high school. Where do you see yourself in five years?
SA: Spending the summer between college and medical school doing an internship at a clinic or health center in an underserved neighborhood.
CP: You’re quite an overachiever.
SA: I work my hardest at everything. That’s just achieving, not overachieving.
CP: You are the valedictorian of your class, the co-captain of the tennis team, the head of your school’s community volunteer committee, a national debate champion, have never been in trouble, and are considered a role model by your peers and teachers alike. Your résumé makes you look perfect. Tell me one thing about yourself that’s not perfect.
SA: My father would say I take things too seriously.
CP: Do you agree?
SA: Pete—my boyfriend—would.
CP: And you?
SA: It’s not something I really think about.
CP: Can you always control your thoughts?
SA: Mostly.
CP: Sometimes the experience of Syncopy can trigger underlying conditions. Please answer yes or no to the following. Have you ever experienced claustrophobia?
SA: No.
CP: Depression?
SA: No.
CP: Homicidal urges?
SA: No.
CP: Animal attacks?
SA: No.
CP: Panic or anxiety attacks?
SA: Not at all.
CP: Phobias?
SA: I’m afraid of heights.
CP: What about heights, specifically? The openness?
SA: Falling.
CP: Have you ever been witness to a crime?
SA: No.
CP: What would you do if you found yourself in that position?
SA: Contact the appropriate authorities and help the victim.
CP: In that order?
SA: If possible. Alerting those with the power to do something would seem to be the prudent first step.
CP: So if you saw a convenience store clerk being held up by a robber with a gun to his head, you’d—
SA: Call Serenity Services.
CP: You wouldn’t try to tackle the robber?
SA: That would most likely get us both killed. Approaching someone with a gun is far more likely to escalate the situation to violence.
CP: Interesting.
SA: The statistics are very clear on that.
CP: The statistics, yes. But what about your gut reaction? Would that really be to think of statistics?
SA: I work hard to behave according to what is most logical, rather than by listening to my “gut.”
CP: I’m going to give you a hypothetical situation and ask you some questions about it.
SA: Okay.
CP: An old woman is looking at a Rembrandt in a museum when a fire breaks out. You can only save one, the woman or the painting, but not both. Which would you save?
SA: I’d ask the old woman what she wanted me to do.
CP: You didn’t even have to think about that.
SA: It’s the logical thing to do.
CP: And if she told you to choose?
SA: I’d send her out with the painting and stay behind myself.
CP: And if that were not an option?
SA: I would save the painting. It would benefit more people.
CP: And if instead of an old woman you had to choose between saving the painting or a kitten?
SA: The painting. Of course.
CP: What if the old woman is a Nobel Prize–winning scientist on the cusp of a breakthrough cure for cancer?
SA: If I had a chance to find all that out, I would imagine there would be time to save both her and the painting.
CP: That’s a cop-out.
SA: So is continually tweaking a hypothetical problem so that it never concludes.
CP: So it is, Miss Ames. Very well, let’s take a real-life example. I see that you have worked the past two summers at the snack bar at the country club. What would you do if you found out a co-worker was stealing from the cash register?
SA: I would tell our boss.
CP: What if they said they desperately needed the money and begged you not to turn them in?
SA: You’re not helping them if you don’t. If they need the money that badly, they need help, and stealing won’t be the answer over the long term. Alerting someone in charge would be the best way to get them the true assistance they need and avert a much bigger catastrophe.
CP: What if it was a cute guy you wanted to date?
SA: I don’t believe in dating at work.
CP: What if it were Decca? Your best friend.
SA: Then I would sell the Rembrandt we just rescued, take the money, and she and I would go on the run.
CP: Really?
SA: No. I would turn her in and get her the best help I could. Because if Decca were stealing, it would mean that she was gravely unhappy or deeply in trouble, and I would do everything in my power to get her happy and well again. And the best first step would be to put a stop to the destructive behavior.
CP: I thought you said your friends would describe you as loyal. Now you’re turning them in?
SA: Not punishing someone and letting them “get away” with something isn’t love, and it isn’t friendship. It is lazy and enabling. People use loyalty as emotional blackmail for morally questionable decisions. Making the hard choice shows you are paying attention and that you care. That is true loyalty.
CP: Very rousing.
SA: I’m sorry if that was too zealous.
CP: Never apologize for showing that you have a pulse, Miss Ames. If you are accepted as a Fellow, you will be on your own in someone’s mind, entirely, for nearly two months. You will have no contact with anyone, no one to talk to. And no control. Up until this point your whole life has been about control. This would mean completely yielding to someone else.
SA: That doesn’t worry me.
CP: But are you sure it is what you want?
SA: Yes. Very much.
CP: So far it seems like this fellowship would simply be something else to add to your already impressive college application. Give me one reason why I should believe it means more to you than that.
SA: I just killed off an old woman—possibly a Nobel laureate—and a kitten, and turned in my best friend and two co-workers for stealing in order to persuade you to give it to me.
/> CP: So you did. [Laughing.] Still, tell me why you want it.
SA: I want to feel what pressures other people feel. Experience the world guided by someone else’s moral compass. See and hear and taste with senses formed in a completely different mold than mine. I want to see what it’s like to live someone else’s lie.
CP: Well put.
SA: Someone else’s life.
CP: Of course. I believe that covers everything. Thank you, Miss Ames.
END INTERVIEW
CHAPTER 1
ORIENTATION
At nine forty-five on a sunny Thursday morning, Sadie Ames took a sharp left “at the birdhouse,” as directed by the instructions she’d been e-mailed, and went from a single-lane road to a rutted mud track overhung with trees. As she came around the curve, pebbles pinged against the side of her Saab convertible—red, at her father’s insistence—and her tires jiggled over an uneven patch of mud.
Sadie’s hands curled around the steering wheel, knuckles going white. No no no, she thought to herself. It was a warm June morning, but she felt a chill of apprehension. This could not be happening. She was not going to be late to orientation. She’d allowed an hour and a half for what was only supposed to be a forty-minute drive; even with the accident backing up things on the Zipway, everything was going fine.
Until she got lost.
“Something’s wrong,” she said into the speakerphone. “This can’t be the place.” There was no way that an elite research facility would be down an unmaintained trail barely big enough for a bike.
Pete’s voice came through her earpiece: “What does your GPS say?”
“Nothing. I’m out of range.”
She heard him chuckle. “No wonder you sound so panicked. You without a GPS—”
“—is like a bun without a burger,” she interrupted the familiar litany. “I know.”
Pete said, “I just think it’s funny that a girl who knows exactly where she’s going has such a terrible sense of direction. It’s like one of nature’s jokes.”
“Hilarious.” Sadie had slowed almost to a crawl now, the branches of the bushes scratching against the sides of her car.
It was true, she did have a terrible sense of direction, but he didn’t have to harp on it. She secretly thought he did it because it was one of the few things he was better at than she was. She enjoyed the competitiveness of their relationship—as Pete said, it made them both sharper—but sometimes it could feel a little petty.