Alex
The sound and lights of a car parking out front caught Alex’s attention. He’d been so engrossed in his notes.
Looking down at the missed calls from Valerie, he felt his frustration mounting. There was no way he could take her call now, not with Gwyneth on the way over. Valerie knew him too well now. She’d catch on immediately that he was lying. It was why he’d avoided talking to her all week. She’d freak out on him, but there was no way around this.
He turned the phone off and put it down. With a deep breath, he decided to take a break from his notes to check if it was Gwyneth outside. It was later than he usually asked her to come over, but Alex had asked her to come over anyway. With all the tension that had been building, he needed her help tonight so he could finish this already, and, of course, she eagerly agreed.
Just glancing out his dining room window, he could see it was her. She pulled her bag out of her trunk and started toward his door. Alex couldn’t help but smile. The girl was a sight for sore eyes in her tiny shorts and snug UCSD T-shirt. He opened the door, eyeing her from top to bottom with a smirk because he knew it was the reaction she was hoping for.
“Hey,” she said, smiling big.
Alex reached for her shoulder, knowing full well she’d be leaning in for a kiss. So he kissed her softly. On the forehead. “Thanks for coming,” he said, closing the door behind her as she walked in.
“Did I lie when I said you could call me anytime?” She turned to look at him, her lashes draping over her eyes in that seductive way she’d only started doing recently.
Pulling a notebook out of her bag, she dropped the bag on the sofa, and Alex motioned to the dining room table where he’d been sitting. “Have a seat.” She took a seat at the table next to where he’d been sitting. “Would you like something to drink?” he asked. “Soda, juice—”
“I’ll take a glass of wine if you have some.”
Alex made note of how Gwyneth didn’t look up from her notebook. Frowning, he took a deep breath, glad this was so close to being over. The last thing he needed was for Gwyneth to start getting the wrong idea. “I don’t actually, but I have beer.”
She looked up and scrunched her nose, shaking her head. “I’ll take water then.”
Just as he started toward his kitchen, the doorbell rang. It’d barely registered when another demanding knock followed. Alex and Gwyneth exchanged confused glances, and there was another knock. It was even more urgent than the first two.
In his haste to get to the door, he didn’t think to look out the dining room window, and his front door didn’t have a window. The second he opened the door, his stomach bottomed out. Alex stared into Valerie’s hurt eyes. She knew he wasn’t alone. The hurt in her eyes held a mixture of suffering and rage—the kind he’d seen many times before—only this time it was different. It was worse.
Fucking hell.
Swallowing hard, he gathered himself. “Valerie, sweetheart, I wasn’t expecting you.”
“Of course not.” The break in her voice and the utter disgust in her tear-soaked eyes said it all. This was different from all the other times. So much worse. “New houseguest this week?”
Seeing her try to look inside, he closed the door behind him in vain, as if she didn’t already know Gwyneth was there with him. He started to explain and take her hand, but she jerked her hand away. “Go to hell, Alex! I’ve had enough of your lies!”
“Valerie, wait!” Panicked when she spun around and stormed away, Alex rushed after her just as his fucking ankle nearly gave out on him.
Recovering from his near fall, he took her hand as the pain in his ankle began to throb. At the moment, that was the least of his worries. He’d seen Valerie angry plenty of times, but this scared the shit out of him.
Fuck his pride. He had to tell her the truth now. “Baby, listen to me,” he pleaded, looking her straight in the eyes. “She’s a tutor.”
Her laughter sounded almost hysterical. “Wow, Alex, the lies wearing a little thin finally?”
“No, she really is,” he insisted, feeling like an idiot for letting it come to this.
“Is that supposed to make it better, Alex?” She was screaming now. “That you’re fucking a tutor!”
The hurt she was obviously feeling over this was being drowned out by anger. It was a living thing and it radiated off her. Her face was completely flushed, and for a moment, he even saw the terror in her own eyes. Fear that even she realized she might become hysterical.
She scurried off, but Alex chased after her, his own heart pounding as he tried to explain about the tutor and how he stupidly didn’t want her to know. This was so much worse. But she wasn’t listening.
He reached for her, but her reaction to his touch was as if she were reacting to an assailant. She spun around, screaming and flailing her arms in the air wildly. “Get away from me!”
Her screaming was so high-pitched that anyone watching from a window nearby would certainly think he was attacking her. But it was the look in her eyes that stunned him most. She hated him at that moment. Of that he was sure. At that moment, she truly hated his guts.
“Do you care about me at all, Alex?”
Her chest heaved, and even as the makeup stained tears streamed down her face, she still looked beautiful. Yet he couldn’t get over the utter detestation in the way she was looking at him. He was suddenly filled with a paralyzing fear. Had he really fucked up this bad? Had he really driven her to hating him?
“Do you at all?”
Finally able to speak, he took a step forward and reached out for her again. “Baby, of course I do. I—”
She slapped his hand away instantly. “Then stay away from me! Don’t ever call me again!”
Valerie, don’t—”
“Please, Alex!” Her words were verging on the hysterical again as she got in her car. “Promise me, Alex,” she pleaded. “I don’t want you to call me ever again.”
She was out of her mind if she thought he’d promise her that. He stepped closer to the open window and spoke with conviction. “No.”
“I need you out of my life!” she begged in tears as she fumbled to start up the car.
Alex hated seeing her like this. Hated knowing that he’d done this to her. The window started going up, so he began explaining again frantically. “Valerie, listen to me!”
He shouted out about the tutor, about what a fucking idiot he’d been not to tell her about it. But she wasn’t listening. She was still sobbing when she drove away, leaving him there standing in the middle of the street.
His attempt to run in the house to get his keys so he could go after her was thwarted when the sharp pain in his ankle shot up his leg, nearly making him fall. He limped the rest of the way in, cussing under his breath.
“Your phone’s been ringing nonstop,” Gwyneth said as soon as he walked in, handing him his cell phone.
“Thanks,” he said, taking it, hoping that by some miracle Valerie decided she did want to hear his explanation for Gwyneth being at his place tonight.
“Was that Valerie?” Gwyneth winced.
Alex nodded. The irony was as infuriating as it was painful. The first person he’d actually told about Valerie being his girlfriend was the same girl Valerie may’ve finally given up on him for.
“I thought about going out there to help you explain, but she seemed hysterical.”
“She was,” he said simply as he hit the keys to play his voice mails back.
“I’m sorry,” she said almost in a whisper.
He shook his head and offered a small smile, bringing the phone to his ear. “Not your fault.”
All the missed calls were from Sal and Sofie. Normally he’d just call them back, but he was in no mood to talk to anyone. So he called his voice mail instead. He’d be sending Gwyneth home just as soon as he got off the phone, because he had to get Valerie to listen to him one way or another.
He typed in his voice mail password the second it began to prompt him and lis
tened.
“Alex, this is Sal. We’ve been trying to get a hold of you. Abuelito’s back in the hospital. It’s not looking good at all. Mom and Dad are already heading out to be with him. The contractors are scheduled to get started this week. It’s gonna be a long job as it is. We don’t want to reschedule unless we absolutely have to. Angel has a couple of crucial classes he can’t miss this week. I needed to check with you before I start rearranging my schedule. Call me ASAP, man. And you might wanna call Dad.” There was a sudden silence for a moment, and Alex thought maybe that was the end of the message until Sal added in a lower somber voice. “He’s a mess.”
Alex closed his eyes, bringing his hand to his forehead as Sofie’s message started up. As if he didn’t already have enough going on emotionally, she was crying. “I’m so worried about Daddy, Alex. He looked so sad when they left, and on top of it all, he’s worried about the restaurant and the construction.” She took a trembling breath. “When Angel told him he could drop this semester, Daddy nearly had a conniption since this is his last year.”
“Fucking great,” Alex muttered.
Just what he needed—another reminder that his younger brother would clearly be getting his degree before him. Since his damn ankle had already put him behind more than a year, any progress he’d made this year to try and catch up was starting to feel like a bust.
He finished listening to Sofie’s message where she asked him to please call their dad and assure him things would be under control and that between them all they’d handle it.
“I think he needs to hear it from you,” Sofie’s message continued. “Since you’ve been the one in charge lately, he’d probably feel better hearing it from you.”
Alex hung up and explained to Gwyneth their night was done. “I’m sorry I made you come on such short notice and so late but”—he motioned toward the door—“I wasn’t expecting that, and now I’m having a bit of a family emergency. I’m gonna have to be on the phone for a while now.”
She assured him it was fine, gathered her things, and was out soon enough. Once again he didn’t have time to make Valerie his first priority. He did try calling her, but he knew it’d go to voice mail, so he texted her instead.
Baby, I’m so sorry. I swear to you I can explain it all. Please, PLEASE give me the chance to do at least that much. I know it looks bad, but I promise you it’s not. I have changed. Call me.
With a frown, he hit send then started to make those calls he knew he’d be on for a while. He was able to calm all of them including Sal who was so worried about having to drop everything and come down. Angel was at home with Sofie when he spoke to her, so she relayed everything he told her, including that his younger brother’s ass was not dropping this semester.
Alex would figure all this out soon enough. By the time he was off the phone, it was almost midnight, and he was so exhausted he contemplated just passing out right there on the sofa. As expected, Valerie hadn’t returned his call nor responded to his texts.
Before he’d gotten on the phone with his dad and siblings, he was certain he’d be giving Valerie a visit if not tonight first thing tomorrow for sure. Now he had no idea when he’d find the time to squeeze in some major groveling. He had every intention of groveling—getting on his hands and knees if that’s what it took—because there was no way in hell that after everything they’d been through he was letting things end this way.
The only good thing about this day was that it was over. From the looks of it, this was just the beginning of marathon busy days for him, but at least today couldn’t get any worse.
Until he sat up.
The moment his foot hit the floor he felt it. He’d lifted his foot up onto the sofa arm when that all too familiar ache in his ankle started getting annoying. Now that he let it down the blood rushed tothe joint, and the throbbing pain hurt like a son of a bitch.
He looked down to get a better look at his swollen ankle. “No fucking way,” he muttered through his teeth as he squeezed his eyes shut. He attempted to put a little weight on it and quickly fell back onto the sofa in shocking pain and complete exasperation.
~*~
Valerie
At least Alex had spared Valerie the temptation of wanting to listen to any of his voice mails. He had a thing about leaving voice messages, so even with all the missed calls she had from him in the few days since her massive meltdown outside his place, there were zero voice mails. Instead, he’d sent her numerous texts and even a couple of emails. She’d promptly deleted them all before being tempted to read any.
It was going to be a hell of challenge to stick to her guns this time and not give into him. But she was done this time. Her heart would just as soon jump out of her chest and whack her over the head with a bat if she put it through anymore of this bullshit. It’d been five days since that horrible night, and she’d finally dragged herself out of bed. Admittedly, the only thing that had straightened her up and gotten her out from under her blankets was hearing her dad’s voice at her bedroom door.
“How we doing, pumpkin?”
Valerie lifted her head out from under her blankets. The sight of her daddy had her lips instantly trembling, and her face crumpled. He was at her side in the next second, holding her against him and shushing her.
“Feels like the end of the world, doesn’t it?” She shook her head and cried even harder, holding on to his shirt. “I know it’s impossible to believe, but it’s not, honey. It really isn’t.”
When she was finally able to talk, she pulled away, and he handed her the box of tissues. She cleaned up as best as she could before managing a few strained words. “I’ve made so many dumb mistakes—been so stupid.”
“No, you haven’t,” her dad said immediately, and, as expected, his words were angry.
“Yes, I have. I’ve been this pathetic, insecure basket case living in a fantasy all this time.”
“What kind of fantasy?”
“That he ever cared about me. That he’d ever change for me.” She shook her head, wiping her nose and feeling the humiliation inundate her. “How did I let myself turn into this?”
“Honey, you’re one of the strongest people I know. But your heart—that’s a whole other monster. It’s still so young, inexperienced, and vulnerable. But don’t forget there have been other boys.” He gave her that look, the half-smile half are-you-kidding-me look. “None of them has even come close to making you feel and do the things Alex has. You’ve never been like this for anyone else. You didn’t turn into anything. It’s just what he did to your hopeful heart, and that, my love, is completely out of your control. But I don’t believe for even a second that he never cared about you.”
Valerie shook her head again, adamantly disagreeing while pressing the tissue to her eyes.
He took a deep exasperated breath and shrugged. “I know because of what’s happened you won’t want to believe this, but trust me. He cared about you. Probably still does. Has he tried to talk to you?”
She shook her head immediately. “I refuse to. I’m so done with all his excuses.”
“But he has tried to call?” Her dad pressed on.
“Nonstop. It’s why I turned my phone off. I can’t let him suck me back in.” Her stupid lip began to quiver again. “It hurts too much. I need him out of my life forever.”
“Okay,” her dad said, pressing his lips together. “It’s your decision. But he’s young too and clearly still making stupid mistakes. Costly mistakes. But believe it or not, all these mistakes are for a good reason. It’s all par for the course, honey. Part of life. These mistakes you think you’ve made, mistakes he’s for sure made again and again, and the pain you’ve had to endure are all going to make and shape you into stronger adults.” He grabbed a couple of tissues out of the box and wiped some of her tears. “You know what I always say. What doesn’t kill you makes you stronger. This experience, too, will come in handy. If, in fact, you really want him out of your life for good—”
“I do!” she
said with conviction.”
“Then this here.” He tapped her upper chest. “This pain you’re experiencing and the humiliation you’re feeling now because you think giving your heart to him was a sign of weakness, will help, not if but when the time comes to face him again. Because let’s face it, baby. You’re bound to run into him again.”
She’d practically groaned, remembering Sarah’s wedding next year. But talking to her father had helped a lot. It gave her hope that all her stupidity and weakness for Alex hadn’t all been for nothing. Because, damn it, if she ever had to face him or even talk to him again, she’d need all the strength she could possibly conjure up.
Even Sarah had come down to console her yesterday. Since Valerie had turned her phone off, she hadn’t returned anyone’s calls or texts at all. Except for calling the office to let them know she wouldn’t be in for the rest of the week, she hadn’t spoken to anyone but Isabel and her dad since her meltdown. So her worried cousin had called Isabel, and her roommate let Sarah in on what was going on. Sarah dropped everything at once and rushed to Valerie’s apartment.
“Valerie!” Sarah had gasped when she entered Valerie’s room. “Have you been eating?”
“Yes,” Valerie said, attempting to smile.
“No, she hasn’t,” Isabel said, crossing her arms and leaning against the doorway. Valerie shot her a look. “No, I’m sorry, but I am not gonna cover for you anymore. I told your dad you’d been eating only because of his heart condition, and he already looked so upset and worked up by what Alex did, but I’m not lying to Sarah.” Her roommate turned to Sarah, who was looking at her very concerned now, and did just what she said she would—threw Valerie under the bus.
She snitched about Valerie drinking mostly Gatorade, and even that was only to keep herself hydrated because her stupid body reacted to her sobbing by spiking her temperature into the hundreds. Isabel had threatened to call her dad back if she didn’t keep it down. But she told Sarah about Valerie hardly touching any food that week. She just couldn’t. Her normal insatiable hunger for all things eatable had been hacked away as badly as her heart had.