This roller coaster of a day had just taken a turn for the better.
23
“I need you to vacate the premises tomorrow,” Jon said as he walked through the front door.
In the middle of watching a movie, his sister, Casey, twisted around to look at him. “Hello to you, too. Thank you for asking about my day.” She rolled her eyes. “I guess I was the only one listening when Mom and Dad were giving lessons on being polite.”
Casey had come to town under the guise of needing a place to stay while her place was fumigated for bugs—hazards of living in an apartment complex he supposed. However, Jon suspected that it had more to do with his parents and the fit he’d had at dinner the other day, but without evidence, he couldn’t very well turn her away. So he’d given her the spare bedroom. Normally a bachelor like himself would probably find having his little sister in his personal space a real buzz kill, but Jon enjoyed having her around. Sometimes the quiet became too much to bear, so he welcomed the distraction.
Kicking of his shoes, Jon joined her on the couch. “Hello. How was your day? Mine was good. Tomorrow, you need to vamoose.”
“Ugh.” Casey tossed her head back. “For how long?”
“I don’t know. Maybe the whole day, maybe the night. Depends on how well things go.” He winked at her, a devilish smile cresting his face.
Casey’s mouth twisted in a disgusted grimace. “I don’t want to hear about your sexual exploits!” She waved her hands as she got up and headed toward the kitchen. “I’ll see if I can stay with a friend or something.”
“Thanks, sis, you’re the best,” Jon grinned. “Hey, grab me a beer while you’re out there?”
“I hope this woman knows what she’s getting into,” Casey said, returning with drinks for them both.
Jon accepted his beer and twisted the cap off. “She does.”
Casey’s eyes widened. “You told her?”
Jon didn’t have to ask to know what she meant. “Yeah, she knows about Nora.”
“What did she say?”
“The same as everyone else, that it wasn’t my fault. I shouldn’t blame myself.” He gulped his beer, all at once feeling uncomfortable.
“Well, she’s right you know.” Casey regarded him thoughtfully. “You’ve never told anyone else before, have you? I mean, is this it? Is she ‘The One’?”
Twisting the cold bottle between his fingers, Jon thought about it. Patricia was one of a kind. She was kind and smart, funny and sexy, and she was the only person besides his family that he had ever trusted with his past. That she hadn’t rejected him meant the world to him. Then he’d screwed it all up, just like he knew he would, just not the way he thought it would happen. He’d assumed that she would run the other way when she learned his truth. Instead, she had accepted it and even tried to reinforce what everyone had told him for years—that he wasn’t to blame.
If he weren’t careful, he might start to believe them. A part of him already did.
He wasn’t sure if it had been overnight change, or if it was a long time coming, but he noticed the difference. It was as though something inside of him had shifted. He no longer felt this gripping sense of despair or the oppressive guilt weighing him down. Oh, it was still there, but it wasn’t as heavy of a burden to carry anymore.
He knew that it had something to do with Patricia and her total acceptance of him.
He hadn’t realized until he’d told her just how much his past had influenced his life. He’d put his future on hold, denied himself one all together, because he didn’t think himself worthy of anyone’s love.
He was wrong.
Nora’s parents were wrong.
If someone like Patricia could find something in him worth caring about, worth saving, then he couldn’t be that far gone.
That day at his parents’ house, he hadn’t lied when he’d told his mother that he would think about fixing things with Patricia. He’d thought about it long and hard. While he was mulling it over, he went about his days as though his personal life wasn’t in a complete shambles. He’d made it to meetings on time, somehow managed to stay plugged in during the most boring presentations, and even managed to work in a few interviews for prospective accountants into his lunch hours.
Overall, he’d kept busy and productive, but it wasn’t until the day of the shower that he’d come to a final decision.
He’d asked his friend, Travis, to come along for moral support, because he knew Patricia would be there and he needed the distraction so he wouldn’t make a complete fool out of himself.
The moment he walked in, it was as if his entire being sensed her, and he zeroed in on her. She was stunning in a navy wrap dress with her golden hair left down around her shoulders. He wanted to go to her right then, drop down on his knees before her, and beg her forgiveness, but the look on her face made him restrain himself.
He couldn’t tell what she was thinking, but her strained expression didn’t seem too promising…or welcoming. Somehow, he was able to keep his distance. He tried not to look at her, but his eyes kept straying. He tried not to pay any attention to her at all, but it seemed like the only voice he could hear belonged to her. It was as though he were hyper attuned to her every move, every breath. She consumed him.
The last time he’d found himself seeking her out, he caught her gaze and held. It was like a silent communication, a connection of souls, and he knew he couldn’t wait any longer to talk to her. Then her friend leaned in, and from the way Patricia looked at him, he knew something was wrong. When she ran off, he followed.
It killed him to listen to her crying in the women’s stall, and he knew she wouldn’t want him to be there to witness her pain, but he was glad he was. He wanted to be there for her, in whatever way he could, even if he were the cause of her pain.
In the end, he was glad he had been, because he wouldn’t be seeing her tomorrow if he hadn’t followed his heart and chased after her.
He knew the answer to Casey’s question. Taking her hand, he gave it a squeeze. “Yeah, she’s ‘The One’.”
Squealing, Casey launched herself into his arms and hugged him tight. “I am so happy for you, big brother! Are you going to propose?” she asked, pulling away.
He shook his head and leaned forward to place his empty bottle on the table. “One step at a time, little sister. I haven’t even found out if she’ll take me back yet.” He frowned down at his hands. “I really screwed things up with her.”
Casey rubbed small circles into his back. “If she’s coming over, then I’d say she’s already forgiven you. I suggest you lock it down before she comes to her senses and realizes you’re the same beer drinking, golf playing, football watching meat head as all the rest of them.”
“Oh really?” Jon said, twisting around to grab her hands. Casey squirmed, laughing as she brought her feet up between them.
“Don’t you dare!”
“You think you’re so funny,” Jon said, restraining his own laughter. He dug his fingers into her armpits, ripping a shriek out of her. “This coming from the girl who’s dating an ex-football player.”
“Jon,” she panted, struggling to fend off his attack. “Stop, I’m gonna pee!”
“Then I hope you remembered to wear your Pull-Ups.”
***
“I want everything to be perfect.”
Patti watched Jules shift from side to side in front of the mirror, admiring her perfect figure and stunning good looks. If she had even half of her natural beauty, well, she’d still be sitting here on the bed watching her friend get ready for a date. Despite going out with her friends on a regular basis, she wasn’t really a social person. She enjoyed her friends, she enjoyed having a good time, but she wasn’t a partier. She’d never be able to do what Jules did, which was pick up random guys. With everything she did in life, Jules possessed more confidence in her little fingers than Patti did in her entire being.
“Would you quit fussing?” Patti flopped back on the bed and star
ed at the ceiling. “Everything will be perfect, and you know it.”
She heard the subtle swish of fabric as Jules crossed the room to lie down beside her. “You really think so?”
“I know so.” She couldn’t imagine anything having to do with Jules being less than perfect. It seemed to be her theme in life.
Jules took her hand and squeezed it. “Thanks.” She turned her head to look at her, and Patti did the same. “So what about your guy? What did I interrupt earlier?”
Patti shrugged. “Nothing. He followed me when I went to the bathroom.”
“Shut up!” Jules slapped her thigh, her eyes widening. “Did you pull a Piper? Did you two do it in the ladies’ room?”
“What?” Patti screeched, incredulous. “Jon isn’t a man whore,” she claimed, her thoughts straying briefly to their first date when he’d pinned her to the side of her house and turned her body inside out with just a few simple touches.
“Every man is a man whore if given the right place and the right opportunity.”
“Well, Jon isn’t. He’s a gentleman.” Patti sniffed.
“I’ll just bet he is.” Jules snorted. “So what happened, besides sex, when he followed you?”
“Like I said, nothing. We just talked.”
“Did you tell him about the baby?”
Patti chewed her lip. “Not yet.”
“Then when? You can’t put this off forever you know. These things have a way of getting found out,” Jules chided. “You know, right about the time your stomach blows up like a balloon, or, if not then, when you show up one day with a squirming human in your arms that shits its pants. Kind of hard to sweep something like that under the rug.”
“I don’t plan to sweep it under the rug. In fact,” Patti said with more confidence than she felt, “since Jon invited me over tomorrow, I’m going to tell him then.”
Rolling on to her side, Jules propped her head in her hand and smiled brightly. “You know what you should do? You should totally pick up something that will make this surprise bigger and better.”
Patti’s brows pinched together. “Like a present or something?”
“Well, yeah. Get him something that says, hey, you, guess what? You’re going to be a dad! Then, when you’re thinking about backing out of the deal, because I know you and you totally will—” she leveled Patti with a knowing look, “—then you can just pop out the prezi and drop it in his hand.”
Patti thought about it and knew it was an option that she could definitely exploit if she found herself getting cold feet. “And then what do I do, walk away?”
“If you’re a complete chicken shit, sure. But at least he’ll know he has a kid on the way.”
Sitting up, Patti sucked in a breath and propped her fists on her hips, feeling empowered, like superwoman…or a mom. “I hope you’ll be fine here tonight, because it looks like I have some shopping to do.”
24
It was early. Like roll out of bed and stumble around for a cup of coffee early. Patti had already had three, so she was both peppy and jittery as she parked her car in front of Jon’s condo.
A brief look around revealed his car was missing. Pulling out her phone, she sucked her bottom lip between her teeth and bit down. He’d said to come by when she got the time. She had the time now.
Looking down, she eyed the little cream-colored box resting in her lap. When she’d left her house last night, she’d driven around the city trying to think of the perfect gift. She burned nearly a quarter tank of gas before she came up with the perfect place and the perfect idea. Now it was burning a hole through her pant leg.
She wanted desperately to see Jon and give him the present. She wanted to see the look in his eyes when he opened it and everything clicked into place. It was a little early to say everything that needed to be said, but she hadn’t slept all night, as she was too eager to see him. She’d almost driven over in the middle of the night, but that would have made her seem crazy, and even though she felt like she might lose her mind from the anticipation eating a hole through her, she wanted to do everything right. She had a plan. Unfortunately, she’d already broken the first part of her plan, which was to wait until noon, then offer to make him lunch. The groceries were even sitting in the back seat, but she’d just have to settle for making him breakfast, because she was too wound up to wait another minute.
Pulling out her phone, Patti dialed his. On the third ring, it went to voice mail. “Hey, Jon, it’s me.” She paused. “Um, you said to come by when I was ready. I’m ready. I’m in front of your place, but I don’t see your car. Call me when you get this message.”
Ending the call, Patti tucked the box inside her purse, steeled herself, and opened the door. Just because he hadn’t answered his phone, and just because his car wasn’t there, didn’t mean that he wasn’t home. He could have lent the car to a friend. He might still be sleeping, as any sane person would be this early on a weekend. She had to be sure.
Knocking loudly in case he was sleeping, Patti stood back and waited. After a minute passed, she pounded her fist against the door again, and then glanced around the still parking lot. She felt a little deflated as the likelihood of him not being home grew.
She was just about to go sit in her car and wait it out when the locks on the other side of the door popped.
Her smile was instantly there as she spun around. It melted just as fast when she met the curious blue eyes of the woman on the other side.
“Uh…” Patti’s gaze skated down the woman. Her hair was wet, dripping over slender shoulders, her trim body wrapped in a white towel. Fresh out of the shower, Patti thought bitterly. Dressed in Jon’s towel. On a weekend. First thing in the morning.
She didn’t have to work very hard to understand what was going on here.
“Can I help you?” the woman asked.
Her voice grated. Was this what Jon liked? Tall, slim…she couldn’t tell the exact color of her hair since it was plastered to her skull, but she was pretty sure it was a dark mahogany. Had Jon run his hands through that hair?
There was something familiar about her, but in her haze of hurt and anger, she couldn’t place it. “I was—” She cleared her throat to cover the stammering. “Is Jon home?”
“No,” the woman said slowly, her dark brows pulling down as she studied her. “He just stepped out.” She shook her head. “I’m sorry, what did you say your name was?”
The last thing Patti wanted to do was tell this woman her name. “Do you know when he’ll be back?” The longer she stood there, the more her chest constricted, and the more nauseous she became. Panic was beginning to set in, and Patti felt the need to flee growing stronger by the second.
“No, but I’m sure he’ll be back soon,” the woman reassured her. “He just went out to pick us up some breakfast.”
That was the straw that broke the camel’s back. Patti backed down off the one and only step. Jon was out picking up breakfast for him and this…woman, whatever she was to him. All she knew was that she didn’t want to be there when he returned.
The woman had hidden partially behind the door when she’d first answered it, but as soon as she saw Patti begin to back away, she whipped it open wide, placing her in full view of everyone in the neighborhood.
“You can come in and wait for him if you want,” she offered, her voice unsure but holding a note of worry. “He’ll be home soon.”
Patti was already shaking her head before she’d finished her sentence. “No, I need to take off. I have… things to do.” Then she remembered what she’d come here to do. Her fingers closed around her purse strap. This wasn’t how she’d pictured things would go, but she knew now how farfetched that dream had been. Yanking open the zipper, she plunged her hand inside and grasped the box. Taking the few steps back to the door, she held it out to the woman. “Can you give this to him when he gets back?”
Long, thin fingers accepted it, but the woman gave her a puzzled look. “Are you sure you wouldn’t rather gi
ve it to him yourself? He’ll be back any minute.”
She kept saying that. Patti shook her head, adamant. “No. Just give him that, please.”
“Who should I tell him it’s from?” the woman called after her as Patti turned and dashed for the safety of her car.
She didn’t answer.
What would she even say? His ex-girlfriend? His baby momma? She felt like such a fool. Jules told her that Sheila had seen him having dinner with another woman, and she’d brushed it off, certain that she must have been mistaken. What if this woman was the one they had seen him with?
Jamming her keys into the ignition, Patti turned the engine and backed out of her spot as quickly and as carefully as she could. She was mad at Jon, but she was angrier with herself for letting herself believe the best in him. Every man she had ever been with had chosen someone like the woman back there over her. Why had she ever thought he’d be any different?
She didn’t speed, she didn’t cut in and out of traffic, or otherwise do anything that would put her or her child in harm’s way as she drove toward the only place that could give her any solace from her broken heart. To the only person who had ever really understood and accepted her.
Her dad.
***
Jon walked through the door and dropped a bag of take-out on the kitchen counter. “Breakfast!”
He dug in, setting out food containers and inhaling the aroma of freshly cooked sausage and eggs. It was basic, fatty sustenance that he could have made for them himself, but sometimes it just felt nice to have someone else do it. He’d probably have a heart attack by the time he hit forty, but carpe diem and all that.
Thoughts of Patricia swirled around in his head. He wondered when, exactly, she would show up. If she would show up. He’d hate to sit around all day waiting, only to end up alone at the end of the night. They had some issues they needed to go over and some things they needed to squash before they could put it all behind them and move forward.