Casey groaned as she put the last dish into the dishwasher. “Fine! I’ll let you meet him.”
“Good. No man dates you without meeting all of us,” Quinn told her, perched on a stool at the kitchen island.
Kieran and Fiona had already taken Shea home, but the rest of the Kavanaghs were huddled in the kitchen after dinner to clean up, which was mostly just code for desserts and drinks. Kiera was on the stool next to Quinn and had a perfect spectator’s view of the whole family, and she was enjoying it thoroughly.
“What Quinn said,” Rory added, tucking his hair up into a bun on the top of his head. “We have to have a sit-down with him first.”
Kane nodded in agreement behind him, sipping a whiskey. “Yeah, we need time to decide why we’re going to hate him.”
Jimmy wrapped a thick arm around Casey’s shoulders, their matching red hair and few remaining freckles a dead giveaway that they were related…and Irish. “I’m going to need his Social Security number for a background check, Case Face.”
“What?” she shrieked, batting away his arm. “No way! How’s that going to come up naturally in conversation?”
Jimmy shrugged, unconcerned. “At least a driver’s license number.”
“That should be easy to get,” Rory agreed. “Just swipe his wallet.”
“Dee, will you please talk to your sons?” Casey turned to her aunt, and it took all the strength Kiera had not to burst out laughing at this entire exchange. “They are absolutely insane.”
“Well, it wouldn’t be that hard to get his driver’s license, Casey,” Dee said, an apologetic grin on her face as she sided with her sons.
“Take a picture of it with your phone,” Seamus added, biting into one of the cookies Dee had made.
Casey groaned and threw up her hands, turning to Kiera next. “See what I have to deal with here, Kiera? You sure you want in this family?”
“It’s not that bad,” Clare assured Kiera, rocking a sleeping baby Murphy in her arms.
Clare had a glow about her that made motherhood seem so appealing. Strange, because Kiera had never really thought much about being a mother, focusing only on her career and education. But Clare made #GirlBoss look easy. She was a veterinarian during the day, running her own clinic that rescued ex–fight dogs, married to the love of her life, and somehow managed to find the time to be a wonderful mom to her beautiful son on top of it all. Kiera had admired her for years, and that was only increasing every time she was around her.
“Yeah, plus Kiera can’t leave now,” Rory added, his arm over his wife’s shoulder.
“I can’t?” Kiera laughed, loving being brought into the familial back-and-forth. “Why not?”
Kane downed the rest of his whiskey and pulled Nora closer to his side, laughing. “The poor kid’s been head over heels in love with you his whole life, then you went to college, and he barely got out of bed for months! Can you imagine if you broke his heart twice? Now, that would be some fucked-up shit.”
Excuse me…he what now? Kiera’s mouth fell open in surprise.
“Kane!” Quinn spoke through gritted teeth, almost growling. “What the fuck, man?”
Kane’s brow furrowed. “What?”
“Dude. Not cool.” Jimmy shook his head at Kane, grabbing the whiskey glass out of his hand. “Maybe let Nora drive home.”
“What? What did I say?” Kane asked, his expression clueless.
Nora was already pushing him toward the exit. “See you next week, Dee! Thanks for dinner!” she called over her shoulder. “Kane. Car. Now.”
“Bye, kids!” Dee called after them, as high-spirited as ever.
Quinn shoved up from his chair so fast he knocked his cane over. Rory picked it up and handed it to him, noting the awkward looks on everyone’s faces.
“We’re going to head out, too,” Rory said, and Clare nodded, tucking the baby against her chest as she kissed Dee goodbye.
Jimmy joined the exodus. “Me, too. Got an early shift.”
“And I’ve got to…wash my hair…somewhere else.” Casey fumbled for an excuse before hightailing it out of the room.
“Game’s on,” Seamus simply said with a grunt, following the rest of them.
Well, that makes nothing less awkward. Kiera turned to look at Quinn, but he wouldn’t make eye contact.
“I’m getting a cab,” Quinn said, storming from the room so fast she didn’t get a chance to say anything.
“Uh…” Kiera started, but quickly realized she had no follow-up.
Tears began to prick at her eyes, which frustrated her like hell because she was not a crier. I broke his heart? Kiera tried to think back. A sign, a memory, anything that would have given her a clue to the fact that their relationship had been more than platonic all those years. She dropped her head forward into her hands and breathed out slowly, trying to will the tears away, but they were as stubborn as she was and began trailing down her cheeks.
“Oh, honey,” Dee cooed, her arms around Kiera’s shoulders within seconds, since she was the only one left in the room at that point. “Don’t cry. Never cry over a man, especially one of my sons. I’ll be the first to knock them over the head for hurting a woman.”
“I’m sorry,” she said, sniffling and wiping at her eyes. “I didn’t know. I never would have…I never meant to…I didn’t know.”
He’d never told her. He’d never asked her on a date back then. There had never been a single thing he’d ever said or done back then that had made her think he loved her.
And now? Did he still love her now? Did she love him? God, now she was confused.
“I understand, Kiera.” Dee sighed softly. “He’s a private boy, you know? Never one to share his emotions much.”
“But he…” She paused to sniff and wipe her eyes again. “He loves me? Like love love? All this time?”
Dee smiled this time, and it reached her eyes in such a way that there was no doubt in her mind. “Since he rode on training wheels.”
Kiera swallowed hard, her heart aching at the revelation. All this time, he’d been in love with her, and she’d only returned his feelings the last two weeks.
Suddenly, she inhaled sharply as she thought of her eighteenth birthday. All she’d wanted was to lose her virginity before college to someone she felt safe with and loved. But to Quinn? God, it must have meant so much more than that.
Suddenly, the passion and intensity of that night made glaring sense and she hated herself for missing it. Sure, there’d been a tiny spark that night, but she’d been sure it was all in her head. He’d never said he felt it, too. He’d never said he loved me.
She hated how she’d left the next day without a word. She couldn’t remember exactly, but she didn’t think she had even tried calling him until a few weeks later when she was fully settled at college, which of course, he’d never responded to.
Now she understood why.
Tears streamed down her cheeks as she thought of how hurt he must have been—because of her.
“I feel so awful,” she cried, her face in her hands again. “If I had known…” Would it have been different? She wasn’t even sure.
Suddenly, her mind flickered back to the tiny metal heart Quinn carried around. The story he’d told her of its origins washed over her, and she realized all too well he’d been talking about her. He’d made it for her—the signs had been there all along.
His heart had always been hers.
“Don’t beat yourself up over this, sweetheart.” Dee rubbed her arm affectionately. “Seamus worked under my father for two years before I had the slightest inkling he found me attractive. In fact, I was downright dismissive of him—considering him just another one of my father’s…how should I say it? One of his…enforcers, I guess.”
Kiera lifted her face to see Dee’s nostalgic smile. She knew all about Seamus’s past in the Mafia under Dee’s father—everyone in Woodlawn did. So that news wasn’t shocking, but the ease with which Dee talked about it was. “Really?”
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“Yep,” Dee confirmed. “But you know what? He and I were always meant to be. It was only a matter of timing. I wasn’t ready for my great love yet, and he waited until I was.”
Kiera’s eyes welled with tears again—was Quinn her great love? It seemed way too early to say that, but for him…maybe it was way too late.
“What made you finally realize you wanted to be with Seamus?” she asked, curious as to what sparked the change.
Dee grinned. “When that damn little stick said I was pregnant with Rory.”
“What!” Kiera squeaked. “Dee!”
“Shhh.” Dee put a finger to her lips, a mischievous grin behind it. “That’s a Kavanagh secret few else know.”
“Hoooooly shit.” Kiera was beginning to realize there was no way to avoid cussing in this family. They were way too shocking to not need the exclamations.
“Well, clearly I thought he was good-looking enough to lead to that predicament,” Dee assured her. “But Seamus’s reaction when I told him the news? That’s when I fell in love. He told me he’d loved me the moment he saw me and having a baby with me—actually, he said he wanted ten, Lord help me, we compromised on five—was the biggest blessing he could imagine. Thirty something years later, he was right. Seamus and my kids—including all my nonbiological kids—are the best thing to ever happen to me.”
Kiera smiled under her tears, her heart bursting at the sweet sentiment and the overwhelming emotions coursing through her. “You really had no idea he loved you before then?”
Dee rested her chin in her hand, her elbow on the counter. “Well, I say that now. But I knew, even if I hadn’t admitted it to myself. A woman always knows.”
“I didn’t know, I swear,” Kiera said, shaking her head furiously. Tears crept down her cheeks again as she sniffled. “I’d never have led him on, or hurt him like I did.”
“Quinn’s feelings are his responsibility, honey. Not yours. Don’t take that guilt on.” Dee gave her a small squeeze, then handed her a napkin for her nose. “You know what? Why don’t we call Quinn? Let’s get him back here, and I’ll leave you two alone to talk.”
Dee pulled a cellphone out of her pocket and dialed a number.
The theme music to Jaws filled the air.
Kiera started laughing while still crying, and it came out in little snorts and coughs. Quinn’s jacket was still draped over his stool next to her, forgotten. Reaching in the pocket, Kiera pulled out his cellphone and showed it to Dee.
“That rat bastard. I told him to change his ringtone for me,” Dee said, huffing as she took the cellphone from Kiera and declined her own call. “See if I make him that coffee cake he asked for next Sunday. I bet you no one eats fecking coffee cake in this damn house again! Eejits, the whole lot of them!”
Kiera was laughing harder now, her tears drying as the heaviness of the moment passed, and she hugged Dee. This woman had been like an aunt to her growing up, and she loved her even more now. “Thank you, Dee. For everything. I think I’ll just go over to his house, bring him his phone and jacket.”
“That’s a good idea, honey.” Dee hugged her back and handed her back the phone. “But tell him if he doesn’t change my ringtone, there will be hell to pay.”
Kiera giggled. “I’ll tell him.”
Standing, she tucked Quinn’s coat to her chest and headed for her car. Now she just needed to figure out how to apologize for a lifetime of mistakes she hadn’t even known she was making.
Chapter 15
Just go inside. Kiera inhaled deeply, her hands still on the steering wheel even though the car was in park. She was trying to psych herself up to go inside Quinn’s studio, the light clearly on through the garage door windows. With every passing minute since she’d left the Kavanaghs’ house, her nerves had been getting the better of her and her emotions were sliding all over the place.
One second, she was happy and touched the man she was with loved her so much.
The next, she was pissed as hell he’d kept it from her for so long.
Then there was the guilt, a heavy knot in her stomach as she thought of how badly she’d hurt him and not even known it.
Intimidation snuck in next, making her wonder if she should end things now and save him another heartache. What if something happened down the line that separated them? She’d potentially break his heart all over again, just like Kane had warned. Not to mention the pressure from the rest of his family, who seemed overly invested in her relationship with Quinn—which she hadn’t minded until she realized there was a whole backstory she was unaware of.
But she was back to happy again just as fast, because she couldn’t imagine anything that would keep her apart from Quinn now that she knew how great being in a relationship with him was.
He was stubborn and sweet, dominating when she needed it, but passive when she didn’t. She adored his wit and sarcasm, and he always had her laughing. He gave her room to be her, yet was never far enough away that she couldn’t call on him. She felt safe with him, comfortable, and like she was truly valued. The more she thought about it, the more it became apparent that what she really felt was loved.
Kiera wondered if Dee had been right all along.
Maybe she had known Quinn loved her…and taken him for granted.
Swallowing whatever courage she could muster, Kiera climbed out of her car and walked in the dark over to the small door on the side of the garage. She tried it, and it swung open easily.
Blinking, she adjusted to the brightness of his studio. A loud whirring, sparking sound arose from the far end.
Quinn stood over a large workbench, his cane leaning against its side. He actually looked perfectly fine standing there without it, and the physical therapist part of her was impressed.
A large metal mask was over his face and he held a blowtorch in one hand. Sparks flew in every direction as he leaned over a sculpture she couldn’t quite distinguish yet. Not wanting to interrupt and cause some horrific fire-and-metal accident, she waited.
He lifted a large piece of metal she recognized as a motorcycle’s exhaust system and began welding it to his work. His movements were quick and purposeful, but there was a distinct anger to his actions that set her on edge. The muscles in his back stretched and flexed, and Kiera found her mind drifting in another direction entirely.
There was passion in what he was doing, even in how he was doing it. Every part of her body responded to that, loving the intensity with which he approached his art. She found the entire thing unbelievably attractive—him working with metal and fire with only his hands and a few tools. It was masculine and commanding, and she knew at that moment this wasn’t a man she’d ever walk away from again.
He was her protector, yet he also intimidated her just enough to keep her on her toes. He was her lover, both giving and punishing in the way he took her body to new places. He was her friend—her best friend—in both the platonic sense and the sense that she couldn’t imagine a day going by she didn’t share with him.
They’d spent almost six years apart, and she was only just now realizing how empty she’d been without him.
The blowtorch flickered and went out. Quinn pushed his mask up, exhaling loudly as he placed it down on the table. She caught the corner of his eye, and he did a double take.
“Been there long?” he asked, taking his mask off entirely and placing it next to the blowtorch on the table. He began pulling off the protective gear he was wearing on his chest and arms and dropping it down as well.
“Just for a minute,” she replied, then held up his coat. “You left your coat and your phone.”
He glanced at it a moment, before his dark eyes turned back to her, surveying her slowly. There was a good fifteen feet between them at least, but it felt like miles.
“Thanks for dropping it off.”
“Quinn—” she began.
He pointed to a side table next to her, cutting her off. “You can leave it on that table. Thanks.”
Kiera stare
d at him for a few moments, her mouth in a thin line, before she walked over and deposited the jacket on the table. What the hell is going on here? She wasn’t sure why he was being so hostile, whether it was hurt or embarrassment, or whether he really just didn’t want anything to do with her. He clearly wanted her to leave.
Turning her back on him, she headed for the door she’d come in. She pulled her jacket tighter around her as the cold air hit her once she was outside, trudging through the dark to her car.
Tears welled over her lower lids, and she didn’t try to stop them this time. She hadn’t cried over a boy…ever. Not until Quinn. Not until her heart had been open enough to be hurt.
A panicky feeling rose in her chest as she realized what they had might actually not last…that he could end things between them that easily. Just when she was all in, and couldn’t for one second figure out how she’d keep going without him beside her.
“Why did you leave, Keeks?” His voice rang out clearly in the frigid air, the hush of night stilling everything else around them.
She stopped walking, wiping at her face quickly before lifting her chin and turning back to him. He took up the entire doorway, illuminated by the studio lights behind him.
He took a step closer, his cane wobbling ever so slightly on the driveway’s gravel.
“You didn’t start classes for two more weeks. You didn’t even say goodbye.”
Kiera swallowed, her heart squeezing in her chest as she remembered her excitement to start college. She’d wanted to travel and explore Seattle for a few days before moving into the dorms early due to her honors status. But he was right. She hadn’t said goodbye.
She couldn’t.
He was a few steps closer now. “So, tell me, Keeks. Why did you leave me?”
“Why didn’t you ask me to stay?” she responded, dodging his question. “Why didn’t you tell me what that night meant to you? What I meant to you?” She held back a sob as she tried to push her tears down, but they slid down her cheeks anyway. “Why didn’t you ask me to stay, Quinn?”
Her last question came out almost strangled sounding, so filled with pain she didn’t even know she was harboring. Now that the words were out there, hanging between them, she could feel her chest splitting open, bleeding onto the sharp gravel at his feet.