Leah reached across the table, placing her hand over Catherine’s, and for a minute they sat that way, neither of them speaking.
Eventually, Catherine grabbed her napkin with her free hand and dabbed at her eyes, taking a steadying breath.
“My sweet Daniel,” she said, more to herself than to Leah. “I wish they’d understand that losing Bryan has been punishment enough for him.”
There were no words to say. Leah knew what she was feeling. The sadness. The anger. The frustration. The overwhelming desire to convince the people who held Danny’s future in their hands what an amazing person he was, despite what he had done. And because she knew the feeling, she knew there was nothing anyone could say to alleviate it.
“You’re good for him, you know,” Catherine said.
Leah raised her eyes.
“And I know he’s my boy, and I’m a bit biased, but he’s good for you too, isn’t he?”
Leah nodded, her eyes beginning to sting, and Catherine reached over and patted her hand.
“He’ll take good care of you, sweetheart.”
The waitress approached the table then, asking how everything was and if they needed anything else. Once she left, Catherine changed the subject, asking her questions about her job, what made her want to be a teacher, what her favorite things to teach were.
A little while later, Leah got a text from Danny asking if they were still at the diner. She told him they were, and a few minutes later, he came through the door looking completely exhausted and ready to go home. Catherine insisted that he sit down and eat something since he hadn’t eaten anything all day, but he refused.
The drive home was once again quiet; Danny’s posture was rigid, but he managed to keep his face smooth the entire way back to Catherine’s. As soon as they’d dropped her off, though, he gave up the charade, and the tension began rolling off him in waves.
Leah sat quietly beside him, her hand clasping his on the console, drawing lazy, soothing patterns on the back of his hand with her thumb.
When they were a few minutes away from her apartment, Danny’s stomach growled loudly.
“You really haven’t eaten anything all day?” she asked.
He shrugged. “I haven’t been hungry all day. I could probably eat now, though.”
“Do you want me to make you something when we get back?”
“No, that’s okay. I’ll just grab a quick snack.”
“Okay,” she said, scooting over to rest her head on his shoulder.
Once they were back in Leah’s apartment, she headed to the bedroom to change as Danny went to the kitchen to find something to eat, and on her way back out of her room, an idea finally dawned on her.
All day long she’d been trying to come up with something that would make him feel better, and there was one thing that always helped her relax when she was stressed or upset. She knew the kind of worry Danny was dealing with far surpassed anything she’d experienced, but she hoped it still might take the edge off for him.
Leah turned into the bathroom and sat on the edge of her tub, leaning over to turn the faucet on. After adjusting the water to the right temperature, she plugged the drain and allowed the tub to fill, and then she turned and reached into the cabinet under the sink, pulling out the lavender orchid-scented bath gel.
Leah squeezed a generous amount of it under the running faucet, and almost instantly, the frothy bubbles appeared, slowly increasing in volume as they crept across the surface of the water. The scent of the gel permeated the air, increasing in potency as it mixed with the hot water.
As the tub continued to fill, she went back to the cabinet and grabbed some tea candles, lining them up along the back ledge of the tub up against the wall. By the time she was finished lighting them, the tub had filled completely, the glistening bubbles nearly spilling over the sides. She turned off the faucet and set the plush bath mat down on the floor before she dimmed the lights and surveyed the scene. And then she smiled to herself as she turned and headed out to the kitchen.
He was leaned up against the counter, an open bottle of water in one hand and a half-eaten granola bar in the other. When he heard her come into the room, he looked up and smiled weakly.
“You doing okay?” she asked softly, and he nodded.
“Just tired,” he said, taking the last bite of the granola bar.
“I know something that might make you feel better.”
“What’s that?” he asked after he had swallowed.
“It’s a surprise,” she said, taking the bottle of water out of his hand and placing it on the counter. “Come with me.”
She grabbed his hand and pulled him toward her, and when he stepped away from the counter, she came behind him and went up on her toes, cupping her hands over his eyes.
“What are you doing?” he laughed.
“Bringing you to your surprise,” she said, guiding him out of the kitchen. His shoulder banged the doorframe as they exited, and she flinched. “Whoops. Sorry.”
Leah steered him slowly down the hall and turned him into the bathroom, stopping as she came around to his side. “Ready?” she asked, looking up at him.
“I think so,” he said with a tiny laugh.
She removed her hands from his eyes and they fluttered open; after a stunned second, he pulled his brow together.
“You want me to take a bubble bath?”
She nodded. “I’ll never understand why guys don’t do this for themselves.”
His expression was skeptical as he looked back at the tub, overflowing with bubbles and surrounded by candles, and Leah rolled her eyes, pushing him gently toward the tub. “I’m telling you, it’s awesome. You’ll love it.”
He crossed his arms. “It even smells girly in here.”
“It’s aromatherapy bath gel. You’ll appreciate it more when you’re soaking.”
Danny eyed the teeming bubbles, looking totally unconvinced.
“Oh my God,” she said. “Would you quit being such a baby and just get in?”
His lips curved into a small smile. “You know what would make this seem a little less effeminate?”
Leah threw her hands up in defeat. “I don’t know. A cigar and a dirty magazine?”
He burst out laughing. “That’s not a bad idea,” he said. “But no, I was thinking it might not be so bad if you got in there with me.”
She put her hands on her hips, shaking her head before she turned to leave the room.
“Where are you going?”
Leah looked over her shoulder. “To get another towel.”
Danny smiled before he reached behind his head and pulled his shirt off.
By the time Leah came back to the bathroom, he was already submerged in the frothy bubbles with his head resting on the bath pillow and his eyes closed. She smirked as she stripped off her clothes and grabbed a clip, pinning her hair up in a messy twist as she approached the tub.
As she eased herself into the water, Danny sat up, taking hold of her waist and turning her so that she was sitting between his legs with her back up against his chest. Leah rested back against him, letting her head fall onto his shoulder with a sigh.
“Mmm,” she hummed as the heat of the water began to permeate her muscles. “Nice, right?”
“It’s okay,” he said, and she laughed. Danny’s hands trailed up her arms and over her shoulders, and he gripped them gently, pressing his thumbs into the back of her neck as he began rubbing soothing circles.
Her head fell forward as he continued his ministrations, using a bit more pressure as he worked his way down her shoulders, and Leah groaned softly as he worked out a muscle knot on the right side. “I should be doing this for you. This is supposed to be about helping you relax.”
“Making you feel good helps me relax,” he said, bringing his arms under the water and wrapping them around her waist. He pulled her flush against his chest, kissing the side of her head. “Thank you. I really did need this tonight,” he said into her hair.
&
nbsp; Leah trailed her fingertips over his leg under the water. “Do you want to talk about it?”
“Not really.”
Leah nodded, and for a minute they just sat there, her head on his shoulder and his arms around her waist.
“Was there something you wanted to know?” he asked.
“No, not if you don’t want to talk about it.”
Danny shifted his head, looking down at her. “No, it’s okay. Ask me. You have a right to know what’s going on.”
Leah chewed on her lip before she said, “Okay, well, I just wanted to know if you knew what the worst-case scenario was.”
“You mean what’s the most time I could get?”
Leah nodded.
“Ten years.”
She closed her eyes, thankful she was facing away from him, because she knew the piercing pain in her chest would be written all over her face. “Is that probable?” she asked weakly.
“My lawyer doesn’t think so,” he said, rubbing his thumbs over the skin of her stomach. “One of the main reasons we copped a plea was to avoid that. Plus, he’s building his entire case around the fact that I’m a respectable person with good standing in the community, that I was blatantly provoked. The more evidence he has to support that, the more likely the sentence will be mitigated.”
“Okay…so what does he think you’ll get?”
“His guess is two to four.”
She should have been happy, or at the very least, relieved. Two to four was so much better than ten. Yet a lump still formed in her throat, and she swallowed repeatedly, trying to clear it before she had to speak again.
“What’s gonna happen to the shop?” she asked hoarsely.
Danny removed his hand from her stomach, bringing it above the water and trailing his fingers through the bubbles. “I’ve been training Jake for the past six months. He’s gonna take it over.”
She lifted her brow. “You’re giving it to him?”
“For a while, yeah. He’ll run it while I’m gone, and when I get out, I’ll take it back from him. He’s been talking about opening up his own shop in Queens for a while now, so this will be a good experience for him. Plus, the money he’ll make as co-owner will set him up pretty nicely for what he wants to do.”
“Co-owner?”
“I arranged it so he’ll still be giving Bryan’s share to Gram.”
Leah closed her eyes; she didn’t think it was possible to love him more than she already did, but she was wrong.
It grew quiet again as Danny scooped up handfuls of bubbles, spreading them down Leah’s arms, along the tops of her shoulders, over her collarbone.
“Was there anything else you wanted to know?” he asked.
When she didn’t respond right away, he said, “Ask me, Leah.”
She took a tiny breath. “What about your apartment?”
“My lease is up this summer. I’m gonna have to sort through all my stuff. I’ll store some of it at Gram’s, and some of it will go to the guys, and I guess some shit I’m just gonna have to get rid of. And then when this is all over, I’ll find a new place.”
Leah nodded as Danny shifted, sinking a little further into the water and taking her with him.
“Are you afraid?” she asked softly.
He took a deep breath, his chest rising dramatically beneath her.
“Yes. But probably not for the reasons you’re thinking.”
Leah turned her head slightly, looking up at him.
“I’m not afraid of being in prison,” he said. “I’m afraid about what will be happening out here while I’m gone.”
“What do you mean?”
Danny looked down, shaking his head. “For one, I don’t like that Gram will be alone. Jake’s going to make sure she’s taken care of financially, but—”
“I’ll take care of her.”
He smiled sadly, kissing her head. “You’ve been taking care of people your whole life, sweet girl. You don’t need someone else to look after.”
Leah sat up, turning toward him as she shook her head. “It’s not a burden, Danny,” she stated simply. “It’s a given. I love you, and you love her. So of course I’m going to make sure she’s okay.”
Danny stared at her for a moment, the adoration clear in his eyes before he closed them. He dropped his head back on the edge of the tub, exhaling before he said, “It’s not just Gram I worry about. I’m afraid of leaving you too.”
“Don’t be. You don’t have to worry about me. I can take care of myself.”
He opened his eyes. “I know you can. You’re one of the strongest people I know, and I really hate that life keeps making you have to prove it.”
Leah swallowed, dropping her eyes to the heap of frothy bubbles between them.
“You’ve been through enough, Leah. You shouldn’t have to suffer through anything else. And the idea that you’ll be suffering because of me…” He closed his eyes and shook his head. “It makes me fucking sick to my stomach.”
“Danny,” she said softly, her eyes still downcast.
“And what if that asshole starts back up again?” he asked, his voice hardening slightly.
Leah shook her head before he was even done with his question. “No. That’s over. I’m not going to take the easy way out anymore. Honestly, after what happened at Paddy’s, I really don’t think he’ll be coming around again, but if he does, I’ll do whatever’s necessary. I’ll tell my brother. I’ll call the cops if I have to.”
Danny looked down with a nod, but she could see in his face that he wasn’t appeased. There was something he wasn’t saying.
“If you think I’m strong enough to handle this, then what are you afraid of?”
He wet his lips before he lifted his eyes to hers. “I’m afraid you’re gonna resent me.”
Leah’s back straightened. “Well, you have no reason to be afraid of that, because it won’t happen.”
“Leah,” he said gently, “there’s not a question in my mind that what we have is real. I don’t doubt it for a second. But your life is going to be put on hold. Years of your life, wasted. For me. Because of me. And I just…I don’t want you to have any regrets.”
She opened her mouth to speak, but he shook his head. “Just know that I wouldn’t blame you if it became too much. If it became too long, and you needed to move on. I wouldn’t hate you if it happened. I’d rather you take care of your needs than resent me. You deserve to be happy, with or without me.”
He held her eyes for a few more seconds, making sure his words were received, and Leah shook her head slightly, looking down as she trailed her fingertips through the suds.
“When I was a junior in college, I was working on this project with a girl from one of my classes. I remember sitting in the library with her one day, and she was going on and on about how much she hated her father’s girlfriend, and it hit me all of a sudden that in all the years since my mother had been gone, my father hadn’t been out on a single date. Not one.”
Danny glanced up at her, his brow slightly furrowed as he tried to figure out the relevance of what she was saying.
“I couldn’t believe I’d never realized that before, but after that I couldn’t stop thinking about it. By that point it had been almost ten years, and I just kept thinking about how lonely he must have been. And then I started feeling really guilty, because the only reason I could come up with for why he wasn’t dating was because of us—because of me and Chris and Sarah. I figured he didn’t want to upset us, or to make us think he was trying to replace her. I mean, that had to be it, right? Because why else would somebody choose to be alone?”
Leah saw the sadness flicker behind Danny’s eyes as she said, “I really hated the thought that he was depriving himself of being happy because of us. And I wanted him to know that he deserved to have a life too. That if he moved on, it would be okay, and we would understand. I just wanted him to have a chance at being happy again.”
Leah scooped up a handful of bubbles and leaned forwa
rd, spreading them over the strong planes of Danny’s chest.
“So one day, I told him.” She smiled, shaking her head. “He listened to me go on and on, justifying actions he hadn’t even taken yet. And when I finally finished, he smiled at me and thanked me for my concern. And then he told me it wasn’t necessary. He said he hadn’t been on a date because there was no reason to go on one.”
Leah looked up at Danny. “He said that if he was lonely, it wasn’t because he needed to be with someone. It was because he needed to be with her. And if he couldn’t have that, he didn’t want anything else.”
Danny’s eyes softened as he looked at her, and she smiled.
“You know, I don’t think I ever fully understood what he meant until just now. It won’t be a man I’ll be needing when you’re gone. It won’t even be companionship. It will be you.”
The way Danny was looking at her caused a faint tingling over her skin, and she found his hand under the water, twining their fingers together.
“And I’m lucky, Danny. Really, I am. Because my dad…all he wants is her. And he’ll never have that. But you,” she said, placing her hand over his heart, “you’re coming back to me. I know it’s not forever. So I can wait.”
Danny’s eyes fell closed, his throat bobbing as he swallowed. When he opened them, he shook his head slightly.
“Do you have any idea how perfect you are?” he whispered.
Leah dropped her eyes. “I’m far from perfect.”
She felt his fingers under her chin, lifting her gaze back to his.
“You’re perfect for me,” he amended.
And when he leaned forward and brought his mouth to hers, there wasn’t a doubt in her mind it was true.
“Here, have a little more,” Gram said, leaning over to put another slab of corned beef on Danny’s plate, and he shook his head, using his hand to deflect it as he chewed.
“Nuh-uh,” he said around his mouthful of food. “I’m tapping out.”
“Oh, come on now,” she said, swatting his hand away before dropping the piece of meat on his plate. “I’ve seen you eat more than this.”