She brought her weight up to her elbows, sitting up slightly and wincing as a sharp pain pierced her between the eyes. “Daddy?”
“Why didn’t you let me know you got home last night? Of all nights, Leah. New Year’s Eve. And you were at a bachelorette party, no less.”
She sat up slowly, pressing her palm to her forehead. “I did. I texted you.”
“You didn’t. I waited.”
Leah rubbed the back of her hand over her eyes, her mind racing back over the night. Everything was somewhat fuzzy, but she could have sworn she’d texted him.
“I’m sorry, Dad. I really thought I did.” She exhaled heavily. “I…I don’t know what to say. You know I always text you when I get home.”
“Yeah, I know,” he said tiredly. “Alright, go back to sleep. I’m just glad you’re home safe.”
“Okay. I’m really sorry, Dad. Love you.”
“Love you too.”
Leah ended the call and dropped her phone on the bed, her brow furrowed. After rubbing her hands over her face, she slid from the bed and padded to the bathroom, the pounding in her head keeping time with her feet against the hardwood floor.
After she’d used the bathroom, she opened her medicine chest and dumped three extra-strength aspirin into her palm, popping them into her mouth as she stumbled back out to the bedroom. Leah drank half the bottle of water before she leaned over and yanked the curtains closed.
And then she flopped facedown on her bed, immediately falling back asleep.
When she woke again, it was one thirty in the afternoon. She felt tired and thirsty and in desperate need of a shower, but that was still significantly better than when she woke the first time.
Leah rolled over and stretched with a groan, exhaling heavily as she let her arms fall back to her sides. The phone call with her father crept into her consciousness, and she pulled her brow together as she turned her head to scan the bed for her cell phone.
She sat up slowly when she spotted it, running her thumb over the screen.
She could have sworn she texted him. She definitely remembered looking for her phone last night for that exact reason. Was it possible she fell asleep before she hit send?
Leah pulled up her sent messages.
And there it was. A text sent at 3:49 a.m. to…
“No,” she breathed, her stomach lurching. “Oh, no, no, no.”
She had definitely sent the text. But it didn’t go to Dad.
It went to Danny.
“Shit,” she hissed as she opened the text message, having no recollection of what she’d actually sent.
Jus got home happy newyear I love u.
“No!” she wailed, throwing the phone to the other side of the bed as she brought both hands to her face. “Shit, shit, shit!”
Okay, relax, a little voice in her head cajoled. So this guy has made it clear on two occasions now that he’s not interested in you, and you just texted him that you loved him. No big deal.
“Oh my God,” she groaned, grabbing a pillow and pressing it over her face. If she never talked to him again after this, it would be too soon. But her stupid pride wouldn’t allow her to move on and forget this little disaster ever happened. She felt the need to explain herself so he didn’t think she was some pathetic weirdo.
Leah had no idea why she even cared what he thought of her, but she did.
She sat up quickly, tossing the pillow off the side of the bed as she reached for her phone, staring at the screen for a few seconds before she opened a new text message to Danny.
Sorry about that text last night. I meant to send that to someone else.
She hit send and closed her eyes, dropping back onto the bed as she brought her fingertips to her temples, massaging slow circles. A minute later, the soft double beep of her phone caused her eyes to flip open and her stomach to drop.
It was her text message alert.
Leah held her breath as she opened his reply.
Hold on—you don’t love me? I’m in a jewelry store picking out your ring, so if you don’t love me, tell me now.
A slow smile spread over her lips. This wasn’t angry, standoffish, daffodil Danny. This was Cheesecake Factory Danny.
She hit reply.
Hmm. Well, before I decide, how big is the ring?
Leah placed her phone on her stomach before she stretched her arms over her head, biting her lip to fight the goofy smile she felt forming on her face. The sound of her phone ringing startled her, and she slapped her hand down on her stomach, bringing the phone to eye level as her bottom lip slid out from between her teeth.
He was calling.
She took a breath as she hit the button to take the call, hoping it was still Cheesecake Factory Danny.
“Hello?”
His laughter floated through the phone. “So, I guess size matters to you?”
His voice was playfully suggestive, and she felt her cheeks flush with heat as her stomach fluttered. “Happy New Year, by the way,” he said.
“You too.”
“I’d ask if you had fun last night, but your sloppy texting kind of answers that question.”
Leah laughed, combing through her hair with her fingers. “It really wasn’t as sloppy as you’re making it out to be. I was trying to text my father. Dad and Danny are right next to each other in my contacts, and it was almost four in the morning. Cut me some slack.”
“Ah, so that text was for your father?”
“Mm-hm,” she hummed, wondering if she imagined in the hint of relief in his voice. There was a stretch of silence, and Leah began to chew on her lower lip again.
“So you should probably erase it,” she blurted out suddenly.
“Why?”
“I…I don’t know. I don’t want to, like…get you in trouble or anything.”
“Get me in trouble?” he asked. “How would you get me in trouble?”
“I mean, some random girl, texting you that she loves you…” She trailed off.
“I don’t have a girlfriend, if that’s what you’re getting at.”
She could hear the amusement in his voice, picture the smirk he was probably wearing.
The one that brought out his dimples.
Heat flooded her cheeks again. He was right; that had been what she was getting at, and she couldn’t believe she’d gone about it in such a childish way. Why didn’t you just write him a note? she thought. Do you have a girlfriend? Circle yes or no.
Leah heard a muted banging through the phone before Danny called out, “Come in, it’s open!”
“Company?” she asked.
“Just a couple of the guys from the shop. We have money on today’s game, which means we all have to watch it in the same place so we can humiliate and degrade each other over it.”
“Sounds fun,” she said with a laugh, reaching over to grab the water bottle off her nightstand. “Well, I’ll let you go then.”
“Alright. Oh hey, Leah?”
She froze with the bottle at her lips. “Yeah?”
“Maybe you should erase that text from your sent messages. You know. So you don’t get in trouble or anything.”
She lowered the bottle from her lips as a smile curved her mouth. “I don’t have a boyfriend, if that’s what you’re getting at.”
He laughed lightly into the phone. “Talk to you later.”
“Bye,” she said.
She dropped the phone to the bed and brought the bottle back to her mouth, nibbling on the rim.
He said he’d talk to her later.
She pressed her lips together, fighting the squeal she could feel building in the back of her throat.
Oh, Leah, she thought. You are so screwed.
“Hey, Gram, can you hand me that flashlight?”
Danny shifted as the ledge of the cabinet dug into his lower back. He was three seconds away from ripping the goddamn sink out of the wall and throwing it across the room.
“Here you go, love,” she said, holding it out for him.
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“Thanks,” he said absently, placing the wrench on his chest to free his hand for the light.
“I don’t know why you won’t just let me call a plumber.”
“Gram, you’re bruising my ego,” he said, although he was seriously beginning to wonder the same thing.
She leaned down and swatted his knee. “Oh, stop it with your ego. I know you’re capable of doing it. I’d just rather you didn’t.”
“Why?” he grunted as he worked the wrench to loosen a nut.
“Because there are better ways for you to spend your afternoon.”
Danny lifted his head slightly, peeking out from under the sink. “You know nothing trumps you,” he said with a wink, and she chuckled.
“Stop schmoozing me. Who do you think you’re talking to?”
Danny laughed as he positioned the flashlight near his shoulder. As much as he made jokes, what he’d said was the truth; there was nothing that took precedence over her, no matter how much she tried to urge him to feel otherwise, and she knew it.
“Alright, I need a different wrench,” he said, sliding out from under the sink and rubbing his lower back. “I’m pretty sure I have the one I need in my car.”
“Why don’t you take a break?” she said, handing him the glass of iced tea he hadn’t even seen her pour. He took it gratefully, leaning his back up against the cabinet and taking a large sip.
“Thanks,” he said, wiping the back of his hand over his mouth.
She nodded with a smile, shuffling over to the chair near the table. “So, did you ever get in touch with Leah?”
“What?” he asked, startled.
“For the flowers,” she said, taking a seat across from him. “Did you thank her for me?”
“Oh,” he said. “Yeah, I did.”
“She seems sweet.”
Danny took another long sip of his drink. “Yeah,” he said, reaching above him to place the glass on the counter near the sink.
“Beautiful too,” she said innocently, looking at her pants as she brushed away invisible lint.
“Gram.”
“What?” she said.
Danny opened his mouth, only to close it without answering. He shook his head as he pulled himself to his feet. “It doesn’t matter.”
“Of course it does.”
He leaned down, saying nothing as he sifted through the toolbox.
“You deserve to be happy,” she said, and he laughed bitterly.
“That’s debatable,” he said as he straightened, turning to walk toward the door.
“Daniel,” she said firmly, and he stopped in his tracks. “Please don’t leave while I’m having a conversation with you. It’s rude.”
He looked down with a nod. “Sorry.”
A second later he heard her come up behind him, and then her hand was on his bicep, turning him back around to face her. “You do deserve to be happy. That’s all I’ve ever wanted for you.”
His teeth came together as he tried to smother the surge of frustration he felt at her words. “Yeah?” he asked tightly. “And what about Leah? Does she deserve to be happy?”
“Daniel,” she said softly.
“You think getting involved with someone like me would make her happy?” he continued. “You think she’d just overlook everything that comes along with it?”
Gram looked down, twisting the ring on her left hand. “Everyone has baggage, Daniel.”
“Gram, come on,” he said.
When she didn’t lift her eyes, his voice softened.
“It wouldn’t be fair,” he said. “You know it wouldn’t.”
Her shoulders rose slightly as she took a breath before looking up at him. “You’re not dying, love.”
He winced as if she’d hit him.
“You still have your whole life ahead of you,” she went on. Gram brought her hand to the side of his face as she said, “Don’t miss out on the chances you have to make it a wonderful one.”
Danny shook his head slightly. “Do you hear what you’re saying? So, I’m supposed to just string her along on the off chance that everything goes my way?”
She opened her mouth to respond, but he cut her off. “And what happens when it doesn’t go my way, Gram? What happens then?”
She stared up at him, her hand still pressed to his cheek as her eyes filled with tears. “My boy,” she said softly. “You can’t stop living. You’re the one who taught me that, remember?”
He looked down, swallowing hard. “You deserve to be happy,” she said, using her hand on his face to lift his gaze back to hers. “You deserve to be happy,” she repeated, looking him in the eyes. He stared at her as she gave him a watery smile before patting his cheek.
And then she walked past him and into her bedroom, closing the door behind her.
“Fuck,” Danny mumbled, rubbing his hands roughly over his face before he walked over to her chair and dropped into it.
The absolute last thing he needed was Gram urging him to call her—because the truth was, he’d been fighting his desire to do just that every day since that goddamn lunch date, and he didn’t know how much longer he’d be able to resist that impulse with Gram’s prodding battling his common sense.
He couldn’t do it. It would be wrong on so many levels to pursue her. Even Gram must have known that. But her hopeless optimism was getting in the way of her judgment; she was still clinging to the idea that everything might work out. Danny understood why; it was the only thing that kept her from falling to pieces. She needed that fantasy in order to get out of bed every morning, and the last thing he’d ever want to do was deprive her of that.
But just because he was allowing her to exist in a fantasy world didn’t mean he wasn’t strongly rooted in reality.
Gram had said that he still had a future.
But he knew what that future was going to look like, and dragging someone else into it would be repulsively self-serving.
Danny laughed humorlessly, running his hand through his hair.
Maybe he’d gotten caught up in Gram’s fantasy world more than he’d realized, because it was ridiculous for him to even be thinking about what the fallout would be for Leah if they got involved. Once she learned the truth about him, she’d go running for the hills anyway. So none of it mattered.
Case closed. End of story.
At least, that should have been the end of the story.
But her number was in his phone, taunting him every goddamn day. He knew he should just delete it, but some twisted, masochistic part of him wouldn’t allow it.
He had promised himself he wouldn’t contact her again after that call about the flowers, but then he’d gone ahead and called her again on New Year’s Day, justifying it because she had contacted him first; she had texted him, and he was simply responding. After all, just because he wasn’t going to pursue her didn’t mean he had to be rude.
Maybe that was it.
Maybe that was how he needed to handle her. If she reached out to him, he would respond—he just wouldn’t initiate anything himself.
Danny exhaled heavily, running both hands up through his hair as he stood and made his way through the house and out to his car.
He was just going to leave it up to fate.
Danny smirked sardonically at that as he opened the trunk and sifted through his toolbox. Because if there was one thing he could count on, it would be that fate would fuck him over.
Again.
“Ugh, what a creeper!” Leah’s sister said as she shook her shoulders in an exaggerated shiver. “So he like lurks around your apartment?”
Leah sat on the counter in Sarah’s kitchen, running her finger around the rim of her wine glass as her sister opened the oven door to check the lasagna. When they first began their Monday night dinner dates almost two years ago, Leah had declared any and all conversations pertaining to Scott off-limits. Sarah was nothing if not rabidly protective, and in the weeks following their breakup, it was just a little too much for her to handle
. Instead, they would spend the evening watching How I Met Your Mother and gorging on dessert while vowing to hit the gym the following day as penance.
But as soon as Leah mentioned that Scott had stopped by earlier that day, the door restraining all of Sarah’s venom for Scott burst clean off the hinges.
“I don’t think he lurks,” Leah said. “He comes to see if I’ll answer the door, and when I don’t, he leaves me whatever bullshit peace offering he brought with him.”
“And the idiot came today?” she asked, closing the oven door. “Doesn’t he realize school started back up for you?”
Leah shrugged. “Who knows. Maybe he intentionally came when I wouldn’t be home.”
“What did he leave this time?”
“He burned another playlist.”
Sarah rolled her eyes as she took a sip of wine. “Yeah, because a good mix tape will make up for the fact that he boned another girl while your father lay dying in the hospital. Oh, oh, and he couldn’t be there with you so he could nail said whore bag. But no, burn a CD, it’s all good.”
Leah nodded. “I really appreciate you bringing me back up to speed. I had totally forgotten about everything that happened that night until you just reminded me.”
Sarah laughed as she pulled herself up onto the counter beside Leah.
“Honestly, I just don’t get it,” Leah said. “I mean, he doesn’t love me. There’s no way he could have done what he did if he loved me, so I don’t understand why he’s still trying to get me back.”
“It has nothing to do with love,” Sarah said, reaching for the bottle of wine and refilling her glass. “It’s about power. Scott is the kind of guy who needs it to feel whole. It feeds him. He lost the power when you were the one who ended that relationship. I don’t think it’s about wanting you back at all, no offense.”
“Believe me, none taken,” Leah interrupted.
Sarah smirked before she said, “He just wants the power back. And if he succeeded in getting you back, he could exert that power in one of two ways. He could try to get control over you again by manipulating you, or he could end the relationship on his terms. Either way, he’d have the upper hand. That’s all it’s about.”
Leah stared at the wine in her glass as she swirled it gently. “You know, it’s a little freaky to hear all this psychobabble come out of your mouth, especially when it makes sense. Please tell me you don’t psychoanalyze me behind my back.”