“Victoria said you made love to her while playing with the gun you brought to kill me. Please tell me she lied?”
“I can’t really. She actually bought me the gun, and we did have sex while I played with it.”
She scooted away from me as her whole body shook. That hadn’t been the statement she’d expected to hear. I reached for her to bring her closer back to me but she stiffened and withdrew more.
“I promised I would take care of you. I’ve never gone back on a promise so I wouldn’t let you hurt but I did plan on killing you. I was hoping the feelings I had for you were not real. That it was more my protective nature coming through. I needed you to be a bitch. I needed you to be like your mother. But you were everything I remembered and more.”
“How did you know what my mother was like?”
“I went to see her in prison. I forced myself to sit there and listen to the venom she spewed.”
“Why would you do that?”
How she was sitting there asking questions so calmly while the world as she knew it was once again being shredded only proved I was right, and she was fucking unbelievably perfect.
“They kept saying in court that she was at home during that damn rape. I had to see for myself how a woman could stand by and allow for that to happen to her own daughter.” I reached for Dylan and pulled at her pants leg.
“What did she say to you?”
“I’ll tell you everything but the garbage that came out of that bitch’s mouth. It was all lies anyway.”
She looked away from me and started twisting and untwisting the hem of her shirt around her fingers. “I already love Elizabeth more than I knew that I was capable of loving. But I’m terrified, I’ll become my mom. I can’t stand the thought of her ever feeling like this.”
“Like what?”
“Like a piece of trash.” She was hoarse. I heard the pain laced in every words she spoke.
Trash. Hearing those words hurt more than it should. She was too good, and I was only going to keep hurting her. I didn’t care that she didn’t want to be touched; I needed her in my arms. I wrapped my body around her and laid us both back onto the bed. I relaxed when she didn’t even flinch. “Life would be so much easier if you were. I could have easily put you permanently to sleep almost two years ago. But you are everything that has ever been good in my life. When I took you out to view the stars that night every feeling I had for you not only reappeared but they grew. I could never hurt you, and if they hurt you they were going to have to kill me too. Babe, I can’t even begin to imagine what it would be like to have my mom say and do the things your mom has. But sweet love, it has nothing to do with you and everything to do with her.”
“Before my dad’s death, my mom was good too. What if something clicks and turns me?”
“You have already experienced enough to turn even the softest of hearts, and you are more wonderful than ever. Plus my family may be the opposite of what you wanted your child to be a part of, but they’ll love this little girl beyond reason and will never let anyone hurt her, including me and you.”
“They’d kill me first.”
“No one will hurt you again. Just trust me and let me take care of you from now on.” If life was simple, it would be so much easier. But life was anything but. We both had more baggage than any one person should bare. Dylan deserved someone who didn’t add to her already heavy burden. I shouldn’t load all that crap on her. But the happiest I ever felt was the moment when I discovered she loved me too. How could I walk away without fighting?
“I have one question?”
“Yes,” I said but was terrified it was the question I didn’t want to answer.
“Why did you screw your brother’s girl? I can’t get passed the idea Victoria is something more.”
“Because if I was going to kill you, I was going to have a scape goat. What better plan than a jealous wife finding out I was dating another woman.”
“Wife?’
I simply nodded.
“How long were you married?”
“I still am.”
“And I guess you forgot that little fact.”
She busted out laughing. I expected her to hit me, cry, take off running but never laugh. I was almost scared she was finally breaking. I let go of her body, waiting for her to make a break for the door. Leaving me would be the best thing for her. I didn’t deserve her anyway. I would always take care of her and Elizabeth but if she chose to leave me at that moment, I would let her go. I’ve already told one woman I would love her until death do us part. How could Dylan trust the fact things were different between us? God, the pain I was experience was more real than any physical pain.
“Dylan, Privy, talk to me.”
“My mom was right. The last words she said to me, other than I was dead to her, was that I would end up some whore and probably pregnant by some married man.”
The words of that woman had come to fruition. Dylan was lost and broken, but so was I. Maybe for different reasons but we were both empty inside except when we were holding on to each other.
“It’s not like that. I left her after the first weekend I ever spent with you. When I made the deal with my family to go to rehab, I told her the honest truth. That I never loved her. She just reminded me of the one girl that did steal my heart.”
“Who was that?”
“You. I wasn’t kidding when I said holding you after the attack changed me. I wanted to feel that way again. Victoria’s dad worked for my family. She knew what we were involved in.”
“Drugs and killing,” Dylan snapped.
“Mostly drugs but yes. I thought she looked like you, but she was never as pretty. At first she was sweet but soon after the ‘I do’s’ the claws came out. I married her to replace you. She married me for the power and the money.” Victoria was never my lifeline. My reason for breathing. My reason to fight. That has always only been Dylan.
“I guess both of you got something.” Her speech was harder than I’ve ever heard.
“I got nothing. I was a bastard and kept going to the club. She kept Jamie’s bed warm.”
“Why no divorce?”
“She fights it and since you, the only thing I cared about was fighting for you. Keeping you safe meant more than anything else, including divorce papers.” I dropped my head over her expanding girth. “You’re where I belong. I promise, babe, no more lies. No more shit. It kills me to know my precious little girl is growing inside of you, and I can’t make you an Asher yet.” I raised my head for a second to look her in the eyes. “Yet. I’ve made so many damn mistakes in my life. I don’t even know if I’m able to count them all. But I’m going to start making them right. I’m going to be the man you deserve. Because there is not a doubt this is where I’m meant to be. In my mind you’re Dylan Asher already. I love you.”
She sniffled and ran her nose along the back of my shirt collar. I pulled her tighter to me and buried my head against her stomach. “I meant that, Privy, every word.”
“I need to take a walk and think.”
She was running. “No, I’ll beg, grovel, whatever, but please don’t leave me. I promise to make this right.” I knew I couldn’t survive without . . . without her.
“I’ve gone in twenty four hours from knowing you were a bad guy with secrets to learning what those secrets are. Yes, my mom hurt me. But how do you think what you’ve done has affected me? You’re married.” She shoved me off her and back onto the mattress.
“In name only. I’ll do anything. Please, babe, stay.” I couldn’t let her walk out those doors until I knew she was okay.
“Anything?”
“Yes,” I screamed.
“Would you kill Victoria for me?”
“No . . . I guess yes if that’s what it took. But you could never live with yourself or me if I did.”
“You wanted to kill me.”
“Never. I’ve never wanted to or have killed anyone but I would’ve done anything to keep you from living
through hell again.”
Dylan
I stormed for the door, not wanting to hear another damn thing out of his mouth. I was tired of thinking.
I felt his body as he came up behind me. His palms pressed against the edge of the doorframe, caging me in. I inhaled his scent in, marking it to memory. He stepped close enough, each muscle in his chest moved along the curve of my back. My entire body strained toward his. How after everything I finally remembered was his arms the only place I wanted to be?
“Running, Privy?”
My eyes closed as his authoritative voice rippled through my body. The uncontrollable urge to stay was intensified by the way his breath washed down my face. God, he smelled amazing.
“I’ll let you go, but I’ll always be here waiting on you.”
“When the first round of memories came back, I was surrounded my doctors and drugs that kept me knocked out. It stopped the thoughts. I’ve had to think all my life to stay sane. The only benefit of the amnesia was it was only the second time in my life I didn’t have to think.”
“What was the other time?” His lips brushed along the shell of my ear. One of his palms pressed firmly over my stomach, reminding me that our connection with deeper than just the two of us.
I turned in his arms. He curved around me, the muscle in his forearm hard against my side. “During your special brand of sex.”
The only sound made was the sharp intake of air he inhaled. His arms dropped to his side almost in shock. Mortified by my recent confession, I scrambled out the door.
I ran down the hall, through the lobby, and straight into the arms of Neal smoking outside under the cover awning.
“Whoa, what the hell did my damn son do now?” he asked and chunked the butt of his cigarette across the parking lot.
I said nothing at first.
“It doesn’t take a rocket scientist to know your upset.” He smiled, but his manner was stiff. I didn’t care how he felt. He was not only Ethan’s father. But the father of the demon who raped me.
“What does Victoria mean to Ethan?” I asked.
There was an uneasy silence between us as we wondered what was coming next.
“She doesn’t mean shit to him,” Neal finally answered.
I raised an eyebrow. “Don’t lie for him. I know she’s his wife.”
Neal paled. “Technically, you got me on that one, but sweetheart, only three people have ever meant shit to Ethan. His mom, his granddad, and you,” he said. “Of all my children, Ethan is my dreamer. He could sit out here for hours looking at the damn sky. Ethan has spent his whole life searching for something. He just could never figure out what it was until he found you. Victoria was the biggest mistake of his life.” A pained look shadowed his face. A face that was an older version of the man I left alone and hurting upstairs.
“Why did he marry her?” I wanted to turn and run into Ethan’s arms but I was scared it would only lead to a pain I could never escape. “Was he stoned or stupid?”
“Both. But the main reason was because she reminded him of you. I’ve never seen him so obsessed. But you got under his skin and left him a new man. When a man finds the one, he realizes how alone he truly is. He was trying to fill that void. If you love him, don’t let him feel the ache of being lost.” Neal stroked over my stomach. “Thank you for this blessing,” he said before retreating back into the lobby of the hotel.
I slumped onto the edge of a nearby flowerbed, and started listing all the pros and cons of staying. There were plenty of pros but fewer cons. The main one being, I was afraid to love. If I fully gave my heart to him, I would have no say if he wanted to crush it. Legally he was married to Victoria, but deep in my soul I knew he belonged to me. The past could only destroy us if we allowed it to. I was tired of hurting and finally wanted to live.
I raced up to the room and not only knocked but banged on the door. Ethan swung open the door and took a swig of what appeared to be golden amber.
“I don’t want to think anymore I just want to be yours.”
Ethan sagged back into a nearby leather chair, and dropped the glass of amber liquid to the floor. He slid down the zipper on his pants and released his big, beautiful cock. He leisurely started stroking up and down his impressive length. “Undress,” he snapped. “You’re going to learn who you belong to.”
I hastily fumbled with the string on my pants before snatching them to the ground.
“Slow down and watch me. I want to enjoy you.”
I focused in on his massive hand rubbing over the entire length of his cock. I became memorized at the sight and found myself moving in rhythm with him. The slower he moved the slower I moved. When I finally released my sensitive breasts from the bra, he barked, “knees.”
Without thinking, I instantly fell to the floor and crawled until I was snug between his legs. His hand quit moving. He sat there, utterly still except for the rising and falling of his chest. “You don’t have to do anything you don’t want too. But I need you to follow through with this.” He lightly and chastely kissed my lip. “I love you and only you. I had tried all this time to be the kind of lover I thought you wanted instead of reading you and seeing that I might not need a BDSM relationship, but you do. You’re truly a submissive, both heart and soul, and you lucked up and found an ass of a dominant. But a damn good one. I’ll always treasure and take care of you.”
I didn’t want to think anymore and noticed a small drop of cum perched on the tip of his penis. I peeked my tongue out and licked my upper lip. My pulse pounded at the thought of the memory of taking his cock in my mouth. I had dreamed about that night numerous times. The image only managed to bring more graphic thoughts of the brutal rape I lived through. I didn’t know if I could do it but I wanted to try. If no more than to feel him as close to me as humanly possible.
I wrapped my hand around the base of his cock and slurped the head into my mouth. I moaned at the feel of his invasion, the taste of him, the simple warmth of his skin. I nuzzled his groin and balls against my cheek, trying to mark me as his. His fingers started to flex in my hair as I moved my mouth down his shaft and swallowing his tip into my throat.
I heard his teeth grind together when my nose tapped along the roughness of the zipper on his pants. I relished in the sounds of his moans of bliss, apologies, and total devotion. He was trying to vocalize his pleasure without breaking the moment between us. Pumping the thick root with my fist, I milked him of every ounce of his pre-cum. I felt him coil tight, sending me over the edge of insanity. I double-fisted him, my mouth sucking so hard my jaws ached. He glanced down at me with an unbelievable hunger in his eyes before he slammed his head backwards as the first round of thick cream exploded in my mouth.
I sucked harder and harder, swirling his cum around my mouth. He thrust his hips again and again, his hands gripping my hair. He cried out one loud and exhausting scream, and I felt the last of his warm, salty cum ooze down my throat and spill out the side of my lips.
I would’ve sucked him off for hours, not once did I have another thought other than him, but he put both hands against my shoulders and pushed me away. He reached for my swollen lips and smeared the remains of his cum over my lips and chin.
“I’ll always keep you safe. You never have to worry about being alone again,” he whispered hoarsely. “Now turn around and sit that beautiful pussy down over me.”
He made me feel too much. I’d spent my entire life running. I didn’t let people get to me. The way I felt about him no longer scared me. It was not about sex at that point but ownership. He was teaching me what I needed to feel whole was to submit myself fully to him. He had been able to read me all along. I just needed to trust him first. I was his and only his. I straddled him. Ethan caught my hips.
“Tie my hands up,” I begged.
“Why?”
“I remember everything. I also remember when you tied me up I loved it. I didn’t have to think, only feel.”
He snapped the belt out of his belt loo
ps and banded my arms behind my back with it.
“Straddle me, Privy,” he ordered and started rubbing the large head of his cock over my clit. “Already, so fucking wet. My Privy knows she’s mine,” he groan as the first thick inch of his throbbing cock pushed inside of me. I couldn’t hold back. I slammed my hips down, encompassing him inside my quivering cunt. He took my breast in his mouth as he pierced me deeper and deeper, stretching me almost to the breaking point.
“Let me show you what I can do for you.”
He released my hips, reached up and over his shoulders to grip his fingers together at the base of his neck. His biceps bulged under his shirt sleeve. I was aroused by the sight of each muscle has they rumpled against the thin material separating his skin from mine. I licked my lips, tasting him on me. Digging my knees into the chair, I pounded my trembling sex onto his rock-hard cock harder and faster. My hip ached but all I cared about was showing him how much I loved him. When my ass slammed against his thighs, his muscles harden, his body showing me how much of him I owned too. We were no longer two souls wandering aimlessly through life but one strong soul that would fight the world together. His gazed held mine as we were both coated with the slickness of my desire.