Moving on silent feet, I glance over Aspen’s shoulder. Fury detonates inside my body when I see her exposed palms. They’re covered in circular pink scars. Almost like someone burned her with cigarettes.
“Did he do that to you?” I growl.
My heart drops like a stone when I notice she’s crying.
I step closer, but Charlie holds her hand up. Then she wraps her arm around Aspen’s waist. “Let’s go to sleep,”
As the two of them move away, I stand dumbfounded, my jaw hanging open like a caveman.
When they disappear around the bend, I think about what I saw. If her father really did that to her, I hope his soul fries in hell. I press my lips together and think about my assignment. It doesn’t seem so strange that Big Guy sent me to liberate her now that I have an idea of what she may have gone through at home.
The problem is, I still don’t know if I’m the right person for the job.
But who else would understand her the way I do? I think. We’re the same, both wanting parents who see us.
Though after witnessing the marks on her hands, my own demons don’t seem as big anymore. And while her torment is evident, it still doesn’t answer the question of why Big Guy wants her to be helped more than every other teen suffering abuse.
I wait a bit longer before making my way back to my room. When I get there, I find Charlie outside my door. I close the distance between us and place my hands on her hips. This time, she lets me pull her as close as I want.
“Is she okay?” I ask. Charlie nods against my chest. “Did her dad do that to her?”
She glances up. “She says he’s better now. That he got confused after her mother left.”
A snarl builds in my throat. “Confused, my ass. I’ll kill him.”
“She doesn’t need vengeance,” Charlie says. “She needs someone to care. That’s all.”
“Lincoln cares,” I spit. “People care. She doesn’t need that shit stain.”
“Leave her alone for now.” Charlie squeezes my hand. “Let’s go inside.”
My anger vanishes when she says those words. Because even though I want to drive back to Denver and leave a body count, I miss my Charlie. I miss her smile and her eagerness to believe the best in people. And I miss her body beneath mine.
Opening my hotel door, I move inside, never letting go of Charlie’s hand. It’s like I’m worried if I do, she’ll pull away again. My heart picks up for a different reason than when I was thinking about Aspen’s dad. Because now all I want to do is talk to Charlie. To ask her what’s been going on with us. Never did I think this would happen to me, that I’d be the one begging a girl to open up. But emotions turns even a dope cat like me into a dipshit.
I guide Charlie toward the bed. She sits down while I pace in front of her. I seem to do that a lot since I met Charlie Cooper—pace.
Pace like an animal.
Pace like a mad man.
“Why did you get out of the car?” I try to keep my voice even. “When we got to Aspen’s? Why did you jump out? You knew that’d scare the crap out of me. You can’t do that.”
“I knew she wouldn’t leave us.” Charlie folds her hands in her lap. She looks dignified. And I feel scared shitless. Scared that she doesn’t care about me like she used to, which is why it was so easy for her to jump out of the car. Scared that the I love yous we exchanged before came too soon.
“How did you know she wouldn’t leave?” I demand. “You couldn’t have.”
Pace, pace, pace.
“I did,” she insists. “I couldn’t leave her alone.”
“What about me? You left me alone!” Charlie doesn’t say anything, so I keep railing, my voice growing louder with every word. “What if something had happened to you? It’s supposed to be you and me, Charlie. Not you and Blue, or you and Aspen. It’s supposed to be us. Don’t you care about us? Don’t you care about me?”
Charlie stands up and heads toward the door.
“Don’t you dare walk out that door,” I tell her. I try to sound strong, but my voice shakes. And my legs shake. Everything shakes. Because I need an answer from her, and if she leaves now…
Charlie stops. Quietly, so quietly I almost don’t hear her, she says, “I can’t be who you want me to be.”
“What?” I stand frozen, relieved she said something, anything.
Charlie remains silent for several moments. “At the airport, you said you wished I was more like you.” She pauses, and I wrack my brain trying to remember what she’s talking about. When I do remember, my stomach clenches. “I tried, Dante. I met new friends, people I thought were friends. I did things I wouldn’t normally do. I danced when someone asked and drank when someone offered.” She turns around so that we’re facing each other. “I dressed differently, I never left a dare unfulfilled, and I thought about myself before others. Instead of watching old movies with Annabelle, I watched the sun rise after partying all night. I became someone I’m not. And I did it all for you.” Charlie lets out a long breath. “But I resented you for it. Because the truth is, I don’t want to be more like you. I just want to be me. I won’t change, and you’re always going to want—”
“Stop.”
Charlie’s mouth stays open, but she doesn’t say another word.
“What I said before I left for Denver…” I trail off, because I don’t want to screw this up. “I don’t want you to change. Since the moment I met you, I knew you weren’t like me. You were better. You are better. You’re the person I wish I could be. Your whole life…it means something. It means something so big that angels and demons are buzzing around you, trying to take some for themselves. You care about people besides yourself. Like, you really care. Not because of how it makes you feel, but because of how it makes them feel.” I step closer to Charlie. She doesn’t move away.
“I love the way you are, Charlie. I love it so much it tears me apart. I think about what would happen if I didn’t have you in my life—you, the girl you were when I met you—and I feel like I can’t breathe.” I trace my thumb over the dip below her bottom lip. “All my life, all I’ve ever wanted was to take. But with you, all I want is to give you everything—every creature in the sea, every star in the sky…my own beating heart. I love you, Charlie. Just the way you are, I love you.”
I don’t care if it’s too quick to say those words, or if she ever really felt the same way. Screw it all.
I kiss her.
Her lips move against mine, hesitantly at first, then with hunger. My heart hammers when I grasp that she’s not going to pull away this time. I place both hands around her waist and pull her closer. I lose myself in the taste of her lips. Her hair spills over her shoulder, and I breathe in the sweet blossom smell as I trail kisses down her neck. Charlie circles her arms around my neck and leans into me as a fire builds in the pit of my stomach. I feel her fingers digging into my back, and a low moan escapes my mouth as she brushes her hands over my chest, my hips, and just below the waistband of my jeans. Every place she touches me—every place where my lips touch her skin—bursts alive. My hands move up her waist to the top of her back. I press nearer so that I can almost sense our hearts beating in time.
Moving to her ear, I whisper, “I love you, Charlie. I love you.”
I can’t stop saying it—
Each time I kiss her.
I love you.
Each time her fingers move up the base of my neck and into my hair.
I love you.
When I lift her off her feet and move toward my bed.
I love you.
Charlie lies back on a blanket of white. Her blond hair creates a halo around wide, blue eyes, pink mouth, cream skin—
Open arms.
A lump builds in my throat when I lower myself onto her, parting her thighs. And for a moment, I’m not sure I can do this. It never seems right. The timing is always off. But when Charlie takes my face in her hands and meets my gaze, every uncertain thought fades away.
“If I had a s
oul,” I say. “I’d give it to you.”
Charlie pulls me closer so that our lips almost touch. She lays a hand on my face, and her eyes swim with affection. “You may not have my soul, Dante. But you will always have my heart.”
And then it’s over.
My life as I knew it is over.
Her shirt slides off easily over her head, and my entire body burns in anticipation of feeling her in this new way. With trembling hands, I undo the button on her jeans and guide them off, stopping to kiss the tops of her knees, the insides of her ankle. Charlie leans up and pulls off my shirt, and in slow, gentle movements—in between kisses in new, sensual places—the rest of our clothes fall to the floor.
Charlie slips beneath the white blanket. I join her, my breath coming deep and quick.
I pause over her, staring down at this girl I met months ago with her wide smile and crystal laugh. And her heart. I press my lips to her chest and lay a kiss where I feel it thrumming.
“I’ll love you forever,” I hear her whisper.
And even though I’ve said it a hundred times. A thousand. I say it again.
“I love you, angel. Forever.”
With my heart overflowing, and a tear slipping down Charlie’s cheek—
We are together.
19
Forever
When I wake up, it’s midday. The sun is slipping through the curtains, casting a soft glow over Charlie’s bare skin.
As I watch her sleep, curled into the blankets, love seeps from every pore in my body. I hesitate for a moment, taking in the sight of her, safe and blissful, before placing my lips against her shoulder. She makes a small sound and rustles beneath the sheets.
My heart feels as if it’s outside my body as it remembers last night. I’ve never experienced anything like it. It’s nowhere near my first time being with a girl, but it’s the first time I’ve been more concerned about the person I was with than how things felt for me. Even now, I can’t help worrying about how she’ll feel this morning. I may have lost the horn my father gave me, but it’s okay because now Charlie and I are connected in this incredible way. I only hope she doesn’t regret that connection.
“I need pancakes,” I hear Charlie mumble.
I laugh too loud, relieved she seems normal. Laying my arm across her slight frame, I curl my body around hers and breathe in. I can smell the orange scent of her shampoo on the pillow beneath my head.
It’s enough to drive me mad with lust all over again.
“Was I not clear about the pancakes?” she says.
Chuckling, I kiss her once, twice on the ear, then move to find her something to eat. As I start to get up, she grabs my hand.
Her eyes connect with mine, and an easy smile glides across her face. “I’m okay.”
“I wasn’t worried,” I say. She raises a single eyebrow, and I know she doesn’t believe me. She shouldn’t. “You really are all right?”
“Me and you, Dante.” She leans back on the pillow. “Just like you said.”
“You wanted bacon, correct?” I say, tugging on my jeans.
“Dante.”
“A crispy, heaping pile of it. Check. I’ve got my phone if you need me.” I head toward the door, ready to harass whoever I need to in order to feed my woman. But I can’t help pausing before I leave the room. “I meant what I said last night, Charlie. Forever.”
“Forever,” I hear her echo quietly. And then right as I walking through the doorway, she asks. “Dante, do you like the way I look now? I mean, better?”
I step back into the room and make sure she meets my gaze. “You are breathtaking, Charlie. You are stunning now, you know that. But you were stunning before, too. Not everybody could see it, but sometimes that can make a girl so much more appealing. The beauty who doesn’t know she’s beautiful. The girl everyone seems to ignore, but to the right person she’s like this…like this beam of light. You were a beam of light, Charlie,” I say. “I’m just sorry it took me so long to see it.”
Charlie smiles so big, my heart aches. I hate myself for not telling her this sooner.
“I’m out of Skittles,” she says, grinning. “Go and fetch me some, prince.”
And so I do.
The door clicks shut behind me. I head toward the elevator, then to the lobby. Though my heart seems to be back in the room with Charlie, I can’t stop the concern that creeps in as I move farther away from her. Not just about what happened between us last night, and the question she just asked, but because of what’s out there, lurking.
Those people, the sirens, they could be hunting us at this very moment. Before, Salem and Easton’s goal was to have Charlie kill herself and call it an accident. Now what? Will they do the job themselves? What about Gage and Lyra? Maybe they know about this Big Something that Blue says Big Guy is testing me for. Perhaps they even know why He wants Aspen so badly. Why else would they have lurked around Aspen, influencing her to sin? They wanted me to fail my assignment. And what about the siren who tried running me off the road? That was all kinds of jacked up.
Dwelling on all this reminds me that I need to check in with Max. See if he’s found anything out. For the past few days, all I’ve done is lose myself in Aspen, embracing her lifestyle instead of helping her. But now I’ve got to be on my game, and I need all the help I can get.
Digging my phone out of my pocket, I find a quiet corner and call Max’s number. As it’s ringing, I wonder what it would be like if I lost my phone and someone came across it. They’d have themselves a nice speed-dial list of demons and angels.
I’m smiling to myself, remembering just how amusing I am, when Max picks up.
“Bro,” he says, and it sounds like it took everything he had to speak that one single word. I want to ask him if he’s all right, but know it’s business first.
“The collectors have recruited humans to work for them,” I blurt.
Max doesn’t say anything.
“Max?”
“You’re kidding.” His voice perks up. “Are you for real? How do you know?”
I explain everything to him and he oh, snaps and oh, shits several times.
“Okay, I’m going to call Val,” Max says. “We’ve got to get to you guys.”
“Don’t worry about it. I’m calling her now.” I pause a beat. “Hey, have you been keeping an eye on her like I asked?”
“Like an eagle, dude. Like a freaking bald-assed eagle.”
“So have you learned anything?” I ask. “Like something she’s hiding?”
“Oh, that,” he says. “No, not really.” I realize Max just basically admitted to stalking his own fiancée. “Oh, wait. I heard her saying something on the phone the other day. Something about stoles, whatever that means.”
“Stoles?” I say, confused. Then I remember something. “Do you mean scrolls?”
“Oh, yeah. Scrolls.” Max clears his throat. “Twin scrolls. It was something about one being in heaven’s possession and the other being in hell. Apparently no one can read what they say. I think, like, Lucille and Big Guy can read them, but that’s it. So the rest of us are in the dark about what the H is going on. Which is awesome.”
Twin scrolls that can’t be read by anyone other than the kings—the thought makes my skin crawl.
“Anything else?” I ask.
“Valery barely talks to me,” he mumbles.
I rub a hand over my face. Max is my best friend, but when humans are trying to hurt or kill Charlie, I don’t really have time for his love life concerns. “Max—”
“I know. We’ll talk later. Not over the phone,” he says. “Too painful.”
“Call me if you hear anything else.” I roll my eyes. “And try to stay cool about Valery, man. You guys will be fine.”
“You think?” he says, his voice sounding very much like an eight-year-old girl’s.
“Got to go, dude.”
Max grumbles and hangs up the phone. Seconds later, I’m ringing Red. I woke up ten minutes ago, but alrea
dy I feel like we need to get moving. I can’t be stagnant when the collectors and sirens are out there. Red picks up on the second ring.
I fill her in on everything that’s happened, and just like Max, she agrees we need to get to one another.
“We thought about booking a flight to get home faster,” I say. “But we didn’t want to be stuck in one place too long.”
“No, that’s good,” Valery says. Her voice is almost back to normal, though I can picture the worry lines etched across her face. No one expected this. The collectors returning? Sure. But them playing with humans? Lucille is obviously getting less wary of igniting war. “I’ll call Kraven and get you guys back here quickly.”
“The dude with wings?” I ask, enjoying the fact that Red used our nickname for ex-Boss Man even though it’s out of character for her formal fashion.
“Yeah, Dante. The dude with wings.”
“He going to fly us out of here on his back?”
Valery doesn’t respond to that. She doesn’t like talking about Kraven’s ability to wing out. Probably because she doesn’t know how he does it, or why he can do it when she can’t. “I’ll get back to you soon.”
“Hey, Red,” I say. “Thanks for telling me about Blue. That was swell of you.”
“Charlie wanted to tell you herself,” Valery explains. “Besides, I wasn’t very pleased with him after he paid you a visit in Denver.”
Well, that’s something. At least Valery was pissed that Blue screwed with me by writing creepiness on my hotel mirror. Ass. Though it would have been nice if she’d admitted she knew it was him when I expressed concern that night. Or if she had, I don’t know, told me she knew I didn’t have Charlie’s soul.
“You know, I guess the sirens are after me, right?” I say, testing her. “I mean, they just want Charlie’s soul back.”
Valery doesn’t say anything.
“Hello?” I say, sarcasm dripping from my voice. “Did our connection go bad or something?”
“Blue told me you know,” Valery finally says. “Look, Dante, we just found out ourselves. Kraven paid you a visit a few nights ago and reported back that you didn’t have her soul. But we didn’t want to say anything until we were sure the collectors had it.”