“You look beautiful tonight.”
At the sound of the man’s voice I turn, breaking into a smile at who I expect to see standing before me. But it’s not who I thought … it’s someone else, and he makes my smile fall and my scowl form in a matter of seconds. “What do you want?”
Zachary takes a step toward me and pauses, most likely because he can see I’m shooting imaginary daggers at him with my eyes. “I just wanted to say hello.”
I tilt my chin up, wishing like crazy Lily were with me. It would be so much easier to face him with someone by my side. And knowing my sister, she’d probably tell him to kiss her ass. “Hello.” My voice is like ice, and hopefully he’ll get the hint. That I want to freeze him out.
“I miss you, Violet.” His admission is quiet and sounds so sincere. I’ve heard him say things like this before, in that same tone of voice. Time and again, and I always fell for it. Above all else, I always believed him.
Not this time, though. Not ever again.
“Where’s Pilar? I know she’s eager to keep you company.” I can’t hide the contempt in my voice. I hate her. And she’s insinuating herself so completely into my life, it makes me uncomfortable.
Not that it matters to her. Or to Zachary.
He makes a face at my words and my tone. As usual, he looks perfect. Wearing one of his elegant suits with not a wrinkle in sight, every single hair in place and that bland expression on his face. No one else in the room would know we’re having a private discussion in such a public place. “She means nothing to me, Violet. You know this.”
“How am I supposed to know, Zachary? It’s not like you told me. At least with this one, you keep seeing her. That says to me she actually might mean something.” My heart cracks a little at my words. I’m over him. I need to be over him. It’s going to take time, though. Losing myself in the rush of a passionate secret affair could help.
But maybe not enough. God, I don’t know.
I’m so confused.
“The only woman I’ve ever loved is you.” His voice is hushed and I swear I hear a faint tremor. I won’t fall for his words. His lies. I can’t. He’s hurt me too much. Violated my trust in him too many times.
“I’m not sure you know how to love.” I swallow hard, past the shaking in my own voice. I hate showing even a hint of vulnerability to him. I don’t want him to think he has any sort of hold over me.
As usual, Zachary ignores what I say. Heaven forbid he should react to my insult. “Don’t let it end like this, Violet. We need each other. I need you more than you’ll ever know,” he implores.
“What? You need me so you can get ahead in the company? You seem to do a fine job of it all on your own. Sucking up to my father for the potential London promotion? Nice work on that one.” I take a drink from my wineglass, telling myself to keep my patience. It wouldn’t do for us to start arguing, though I think we’re halfway there already. Not that Zachary and I ever argued. We’re too polite for that.
“I deserve that. You’re right. I’ve behaved badly during our relationship and for that, I’m sorry. I’m sure you think I’ve—used you. I regret many of the choices I’ve made, Violet, but I’ve never regretted you.” He takes a step toward me and I step back. “Can’t you give me another chance? I know I messed up. I was angry that you were always so consumed with your work, even when I told you that I’m leaving you for London in a few weeks.”
I gape at him. I always made time for him. Always.
“And then you started spending time with McKay. It threw me. I didn’t know what you were up to.” He runs a hand through his hair, then immediately pushes it back into place. “Pilar filled my head with a bunch of lies and I overreacted.”
A bunch of lies? What could she have told him? “Overreacted how? By letting her put her mouth on your penis?”
He looks shocked. Good. I’m feeling a little shocked by this entire conversation too. “What I did with her doesn’t matter. I love you. I don’t want to lose you.”
This is the last thing I need to deal with tonight. “It’s over, Zachary. I don’t know why you think otherwise or why you believe you can change my mind, but you need to stop,” I tell him firmly.
“You can’t just cut me off. We have a history. A shared past together. We planned on running this company someday, side by side. What about those plans?” he asks indignantly.
“They’re over. You ruined them a long time ago.” I start to walk away but he darts out, grabbing my arm and stopping me.
“You’re being ridiculous.” He thrusts his face in mine and I recoil, fear trickling down my spine. I’ve never seen him so angry. “We belong together, Violet. You know this.” His tone is low and downright menacing. I can almost believe he’s threatening me.
“Let her go, Lawrence.”
We both turn at the same time to find Ryder standing there, watching us with a furious scowl marring his otherwise handsome face, his legs braced wide apart and his hands stuffed inside his trouser pockets. My heart races at seeing him, at the fierce way he’s staring down Zachary, looking absolutely in command in his dark suit, his hair a delicious mess and that cold, dark stare.
“Get the fuck out of here,” Zachary snarls, his teeth clenched. I gasp at his choice of words. This is a man who rarely says anything bad. “We’re having a private discussion.”
“Fuck you. Stop pushing her around, asshole. She’s not with you anymore, or did you forget that?” The mocking tone in Ryder’s voice sends about a thousand different shades of red flashing across Zachary’s face. He’s so furious he’s practically vibrating with the emotion.
“Stay out of my business,” Zachary fumes just as I jerk out of his hold and go over to stand by Ryder’s side. I can tell the gesture alone surprises him. Hurts him. Infuriates him.
For the first time since I laid eyes on him, I don’t care what he thinks about me. I’m done being the pretty toy he puts up on the shelf and admires from afar while he’s off playing with his other dolls.
“I’m not your business any longer, Zachary,” I tell him, stiffening when I feel Ryder’s hand rest at the small of my back. He’s putting on some sort of unified front for Zachary and I’m not sure if I want him to. “There’s nothing left for us to discuss.”
“Violet …”
“Not here,” I say, interrupting him. “Stop. Go. Before you make a fool of yourself.”
He glares at us both, his gaze going from me to Ryder and back to me. I stiffen my shoulders and lift my chin, hoping I look strong when I feel anything but.
“We’ll talk later,” he mutters before he walks away.
“The guy can’t take a hint,” Ryder says the moment Zachary is out of earshot, streaking his thumb across the center of my back, making me shiver.
I step away from him, uncomfortable. “You shouldn’t have butt in.”
He cocks a brow. “You looked like you needed a helping hand.”
“It was fine. I’m capable of having a civil conversation with my ex.” I release a shuddering breath, hating how everything tightens inside of me at the mention of the word ex. Am I regretting my decision? I just … I don’t know what I want anymore. I feel completely out of control.
And I don’t like it.
“You might be, but I’m not so sure about Lawrence.” Ryder takes a step toward me and I back up, feeling cornered. Feeling … trapped.
And angry. Why do all the men in my life try to push me around? “I don’t need you to come to my rescue.”
He smiles, but it looks more like he’s baring his teeth. “Looked like it to me.”
I cross my arms in front of my chest. “I don’t need you interfering in my personal business.” I sound like a shrew but really don’t care. I’m mad. Mad at Zachary, mad at Ryder … I’m being completely irrational, but my life has become tumultuous at best or an absolute tornado at worst.
He takes another step toward me, his expression menacing, eyes dark as he watches me. I step back, my butt hitting
the wall, and I drop my arms, bracing my hands flat. “He had his hands on you.” He’s now so close his leg brushes the skirt of my dress. “He was yelling at you.”
“He wasn’t.”
“Why are you defending him? He’s fucking Pilar,” he says harshly.
Hearing him say it like that … sounds so sordid. And makes me feel bad because I’m doing the same exact thing with him. “And I’m fucking around with you. What’s the difference?”
He raises his brows, looking almost amused at what I said. “Right. You’re not with him anymore. You’re with me.”
“We’re not together.” He touches my cheek, drifts his fingers across my skin so lightly I shiver. “It happened once.”
“And it was amazing.”
I shrug, trying to ignore the husky reverence in his voice. It doesn’t matter what he thinks. We probably shouldn’t be doing this. Any of this. I think I’m in over my head. No. Not think … I know I’m in over my head. “It shouldn’t happen again,” I whisper as he leans in, his nose brushing against the side of my face.
“Oh, it’s going to,” he whispers, his lips moving against my cheek. “You want it to. I bet if I slipped my hand beneath your dress I’d find you bare. Just like I asked.”
I close my eyes, praying that no one will find us here. Yes, we’ve maneuvered ourselves somehow into a darker corner of the party, but still. We’re not in complete hiding.
“And I bet if I slipped my fingers between your legs, I’d find you wet,” he continues, his velvety, deep voice weaving some sort of seductive spell on me. I’m almost tempted to dare him to see if I’m as wet as he imagines. “I bet I could make you come in seconds.”
A huff of surprised laughter escapes me. “Rather confident in your abilities, aren’t you?”
“Just remembering how I had you coming all over my face the last time I saw you.”
My entire body goes weak at his words. I open my eyes to find him tracing his finger along the plunging neckline of my dress, teasing at the sensitive skin between my breasts. “We shouldn’t be having this conversation here,” I protest breathlessly.
He smiles. “Let’s take it elsewhere, then.”
“Ryder …”
“Violet,” he mimics, slipping his finger beneath the fabric and touching my breast. “Your skin is so damn soft.”
My eyes fall shut when he strokes my nipple. “Please. Stop,” I murmur.
In an instant his hand is gone and his body heat disappears. Opening my eyes, I find he’s stepped completely away from me, his hands stuffed into his pockets once more, his expression neutral. Almost as bland as Zachary’s.
I hate it. Hate having him that far away from me. Hate even more the turbulent emotions swirling within me. I want him. I don’t. I like him, but not really. He’s so closed off most of the time. Treats life like it’s one big joke.
Sexually we share a strong connection. One I can’t deny. One I want to explore further.
But I would be stupid to even attempt it. Ryder McKay scares me.
“Don’t give me that sad little look, Violet.” He sounds cold, distant. Dismissive. “If you say no, I’m not about to push myself on you.”
I part my lips to say something but before I can, he walks away.
Chapter Fourteen
Ryder
“I can feel the sexual frustration pouring off of you in waves. Already frustrated, hmm? I told you she was an ice queen.”
I ignore Pilar and down my drink, setting the glass on the cocktail table beside me, the ice rattling with the force. “Fuck off,” I mutter.
“Oh dear, you are in a mood. What happened? Is she going to take Zachary back after all?” She scowls. “I certainly hope not. That means I’ll have to take drastic measures, and that is the last thing I want to do,” Pilar says drolly.
Meaning she would love to take drastic measures. Anything she can do to decimate Violet. “Leave it alone.”
“Hmm, I don’t like this. You’re being so mysterious. I hate it when you do that, you know? I always have. I don’t know near enough about you. And I’ve told you everything about me¸” she says.
There are some things no one needs to know about my past, especially Pilar. She’d probably use any and all knowledge against me. “I didn’t think you were coming tonight.” I turn to face her, wishing like hell she wasn’t here. Same with that dick-bag Zachary Lawrence. They cast a dark shadow on everything I try and do with Violet. For Violet.
To Violet.
Pilar shrugs her bare shoulders. She’s wearing a long column of a dress, strapless and black, stark among the pretty women dressed in pastels tonight. Her hair is slicked back off her face and her lips are the trademark bold red. As usual, she wants to stand out.
And she’s succeeded.
“Ah, I’ve been laying low.” A lie. Pilar doesn’t know how to lay low. “Zachary is in a mood too. I saw him talking with Violet. She worked him into a froth.”
“He did the same to her.” I clamp my lips shut. Why the hell did I say that? Violet had been visibly upset and angry when I found them arguing. Hell, he was touching her, and the wave of fury that bled through me made me want to fuck him up. As in make him bleed. I could have taken him. Easily. He’s a wimpy, pampered asshole and I’m a former street kid–slash–drug addict.
I’m just real good at pretending to be a pampered asshole like Lawrence.
After getting rid of him, I tried to calm Violet down, but she was pissed. More at Lawrence, I’m sure, but she took it out on me. Hell, seeing her so worked up had aroused me, sick fuck that I am. I’d been ready to take her right there, not giving a damn who saw us together. But when she asked me to stop, that was it. I had to walk away.
No way could she ever accuse me of pushing myself on her. In this weird little game I’m playing, she calls all the shots—at least when it comes to if and when we have sex.
Hell, if we’ll ever have sex. One taste and I crave her like an addict. Not good.
“So protective,” Pilar murmurs, her lips curving into a knowing smile. “Just fuck her and get it over with. Once you realize what a horrible lay she is, then you’ll be done with her.”
Anger makes my voice tight. “What? You have personal experience in fucking Violet?”
Pilar laughs so loud she draws the attention of more than a few guests at the party. “Please. Like the little prude would swing that way.”
That’s it. I’m done standing around pretending I want to listen to Pilar go on about Violet. I don’t even want to be at this stupid party full of wedding dresses and greedy brides-to-be. I only came here to see Violet.
And she’s pissed at me. So I blew that all to hell.
“Quit insulting her,” I toss over my shoulder as I make my escape, pushing my way through the crowd. It’s mostly full of young, beautiful women tonight and normally, I’d be in heaven. Flirting my way through all of them, zeroing in on the most responsive—and receptive—one.
Not tonight, though. I don’t notice any of them, even when they flash me flirtatious looks and welcoming smiles. I’m intent on finding Violet so I can talk to her again. Look at her. Smell her.
Touch her.
I spot her quickly, standing with her older sister, Lily, the two of them in what looks like an intense conversation. They’re standing close, their heads bent toward each other, Violet listening while Lily does all the talking, gesturing wide with her arms. Violet just nods, staring at the ground, looking sad.
I hate seeing her like that. But even in her sadness, she’s beautiful. I know everyone says Lily is the prettiest Fowler sister. The sexiest.
But I disagree. I only have eyes for Violet.
Suddenly she looks up, as if she can feel me staring at her. Her gaze locks with mine, those dark, dark eyes looking right through me. Lily’s still talking and Violet reaches out, resting her hand on her sister’s forearm. She never takes her eyes off me as she speaks, then Lily turns, looking at me as well.
I do
n’t move. I don’t look away, even when I start to feel uncomfortable at being under the scrutiny of two Fowler sisters.
And then she’s walking toward me. The sister I want. The sister I can’t seem to get enough of. She stops just in front of me and tilts her head back, steely determination in every move she makes.
“I took out my anger at Zachary on you and I shouldn’t have. I’m sorry.”
I slip my hands into my pockets so I won’t reach for her and pull her to me. The urge to shove my fingers into her hair and ruin that perfect updo she’s got going on nearly overwhelms me. “You’re forgiven.”
A smile plays at the corners of her pretty pink lips. “I didn’t mean it when I said I wanted you to stop.”
I clench my hands into fists, still keeping them in my pockets. “What did you mean, then?”
“I don’t know.” She shrugs. “This entire … situation confuses me.”
That makes two of us.
“It scares me, too,” she admits softly.
Ah hell. She talks like that, looks like that, and all I want to do is reassure her that everything’s going to be just fine. Even if I don’t believe it.
Because I don’t. Saying that to her would be a lie. I have no idea what’s going to happen.
“Come with me,” I say.
“I can’t just leave.”
“Yeah, you can.” I reach out and place my hand on her arm, but she jerks out of my touch. “Come on, Violet.”
She frowns. “Where are we going?”
I shake my head, irritated with her, my reaction to her, all of it. This was supposed to be easy, taking advantage of Violet. Instead, it’s turning into something far more complex than I thought. “Don’t ask questions.”
“Don’t boss me around.” She crosses her arms in front of her chest, plumping her breasts. They look ready to pop out of that low-cut dress she’s wearing and I step closer, shielding her from anyone else’s view.
“I thought you liked it when I bossed you around,” I murmur, drawing my finger along her exposed collarbone.
She swats my hand away. “Don’t say things like that. Not here.”