I watch, transfixed, as Pilar laughs, her voice raspy as she seemingly admonishes him. He merely shakes his head in return and drops her hand, his gaze going to mine for the briefest second and then lingering.
I’m caught. Snared in his intense gaze and for a long, charge-filled bundle of seconds, I return his stare. Recognition flares in his eyes and I quickly look away, my cheeks heating, and I’m thankful the lighting is dim so he can’t tell. He thinks nothing of me, I’m sure. I’m barely a blip on his radar, and that’s just the way I like it. I don’t want his attention.
His type of attention … scares me.
Glancing across the table, I wave my hand in front of Zachary’s face but he doesn’t see me. I hiss out his name, earning a hard glare from him before he turns away.
A sigh wants to escape and I stifle it, chancing a glance in Ryder’s direction again to find him still watching me. And he doesn’t look away, either. His smile softens and he leans back in his chair. He positively reeks of a man who knows just how to please a woman—a man who has no qualms about flirting with one woman while sitting at a table with another.
I remind myself that I can’t stand him. I hate his cocky behavior. His confidence is galling and Zachary can’t stand him. I should be disgusted that he’s looking at me in such a blatant manner, but … I’m morbidly fascinated.
What’s it like to think that way? To feel that way? Pilar seems absolutely thrilled to be with him, which only confirms that something is going on between those two. And I wouldn’t doubt he’d try and touch her in some inappropriate manner if he hasn’t done so already. She probably wouldn’t protest, either. She’s an eager climber who has no problems stepping on people to get what she wants, both professionally and socially.
They look like they’re enjoying their evening, though. Whereas I’m tense and upset at Zachary’s seeming rejection, they’re laughing and carrying on as if they have zero worries.
Funny, I can’t help but think how lucky Pilar is. To be lost in the pleasure of Ryder’s wicked company while I’m lost to my own turbulent emotions at the thought of Zachary leaving me. Of being alone.
Again.
Tearing my gaze away from Ryder McKay, I focus on Zachary, who’s off his cell phone and watching me with an expectant expression on his face. “Now, where were we?” he asks, looking genuinely confused. How could he forget that he’d just delivered such life-altering news?
“You were telling me about your possible new promotion.” I hold in a breath, count to three, and then let it out in a soft exhale. “I’m happy for you,” I finally say, forcing myself to smile. But it doesn’t feel genuine. My lips tremble at the corners and I let the smile fall away. “Congratulations, Zachary.”
“I knew you’d understand. You always understand. Everything.” He reaches across the table and grasps my hand again, giving it a gentle squeeze. “If I get the position, I don’t see myself staying in London beyond two years. We can make it work, can’t we, darling?”
“Of course we can,” I whisper. But I’m not sure. Two years with Zachary in another country, meeting numerous women? Most likely bedding numerous women?
For all I know, this could be the beginning of the end.
Chapter Two
Ryder
“I’m going to seduce Violet Fowler.” I keep my gaze locked on the very woman I’m referring to, enraptured with the way she tucks a wayward strand of glossy brown hair behind her ear, her pretty smile directed at that asshole boyfriend of hers.
I fucking hate Zachary Lawrence. And I fucking want his girlfriend.
Which, of course, gets my mind churning with ideas. Not a one of them good.
“Absolutely not.”
I jerk my gaze away from Violet and stare incredulously at my former boss and occasional lover. “What did you just say?”
“Please. You heard me.” She scowls, her blood-red lips forming into an obvious pout. Even angry, she’s strikingly beautiful. Her exotic features help Pilar stand out among any crowd. “Why in the world would you want to even touch Violet, let alone fuck her? She’s so incredibly boring.”
She sounds jealous. Not that I’d ever say that. Pilar has extra-sharp claws and she’s not afraid to use them. “That’s what’s so intriguing about her.” I have the distinct feeling that in the hands of the right man, Violet Fowler would be anything but boring.
“You just want her because you can’t have her. Typical male.” Pilar waves a hand dismissively. “Can’t we talk about something else?”
“Fine.” I stare at her, knowing she has information I want. It’s the reason I asked her to go to dinner with me tonight. “Tell me about Zachary.”
Pilar’s lips curl into a cat-got-the-mouse smile. Now I was talking her language. “What do you want to know?” She sounds bored but she loves this. I can tell from the glittering of her golden-brown eyes that she’s far from bored.
“I heard they’re sending him to London,” I say.
“Yes, they are.”
“To do some sort of temporary tryout for the global marketing director position that was just created,” I continue.
“Yes. It’s an excellent opportunity. One that many would want.” She looks so damn pleased with herself, saying that. She knows my blood is boiling.
And I feel like I’m about to burst. “Right. Like me. I want that job.” So bad I can almost fucking taste it. I’m damn good at what I do. I’ve risen among the ranks within Fleur at surprising speed.
She rolls her eyes. “You haven’t earned it.”
“I work my ass off. I’ve earned it far more than fucking Lawrence. He gets the chance because of who his girlfriend is.” I can’t even say his first name. I hate how he insists everyone call him Zachary. It makes him sound like a complete pussy. Pompous asshole. “I told Fowler.”
Pilar frowns, her eyes dimming. The excited sparkle is gone just like that. “Told him what?”
“That I want the position.”
She looks shocked. Good. It’s rare when anyone can surprise her. “And what did he say?”
“‘Prove yourself, son.’ And that’s a direct quote.” I lean across the table, my gaze locked with Pilar’s. “So that’s what I plan on doing.”
A perfectly arched eyebrow rises. “How? By getting into Violet’s granny panties? Please. That little prude won’t let you even look at her. How do you think you’re going to get your dirty paws on her pristine body?”
I hadn’t thought that through yet. But it doesn’t matter. Once I focus on something, I always get what I want. At least now I do. When I was a kid, hell no. I begged. I stole. I fucked to get what I wanted. My past, though, just made me tougher. More determined.
And for whatever reason, just looking at Violet Fowler sitting there in her pretty little dress with her pretty little body, tolerating that asshole Lawrence while he ignores her and chats on the phone … makes me want to jump her. Show her what a real man could do for her.
I’d probably scare the shit out of her. Hell, I might enjoy scaring the shit out of her.
Clearly, I’m a twisted fuck.
“If her asshole boyfriend is leaving her behind, I’m sure I can figure something out.” I shrug. “She’ll be alone and vulnerable. Missing Lawrence. I can step in and ease her pain.”
“Ballsy, aren’t you?” Pilar murmurs. “And what about me? Am I supposed to sit by without protest while you’re out fucking another woman?”
“You have before. Plenty of times. Not like we’re committed.” Our relationship isn’t what I would call conventional. Our ties are there, but we’re not forever bound to each other. Pilar is a user.
So am I. It’s why we work so well together, both personally and professionally.
Lately, though, I’ve felt conflicted. I know I’m ready to end the sexual relationship with Pilar, but we have a history. She’s the only woman who ever took care of me, so I take care of her.
My mom disappeared when I was little and I don’t remember her.
Dad was a semi-presence in my life until I was around fifteen, but he was never a real parent. More like a roommate. A man who brought whores around and passed me my first drink when I was barely twelve. A real stellar example of what a parent should be.
When Pilar walked into my life, took one look at me and decided I would become her personal little project, I was relieved. Fucking thankful.
I was nothing more than a stupid, dirty street kid, nineteen and with a minor drug problem, no job, and no place to live, when we first met. I slept on a park bench at night and hung out in Starbucks all day. At least it was warm. I could afford a tall coffee and a free glass of water. I nursed that shit all damn day. I didn’t care.
Pilar entered that Starbucks like she owned the place every single morning. Sometimes I saw her, sometimes I didn’t. One morning in particular, I caught her eye and she surveyed me like I was a bug under a microscope. She came closer to where I sat, peering at me. She’s older, beautiful, and radiates so much confidence that I was caught. Hell, I wanted to be caught.
She brought me home to clean me up. Her apartment was like a palace. Clean, with new furniture and food in the refrigerator and a toilet that flushed, with a shower that had hot running water and soft towels, a warm bed to sleep in at night. I was in heaven.
When she said she could get me a job where she worked as her assistant, I said yes. That job was more than anyone had ever given me before. The meals she provided? I ate more than I’d ever eaten in my entire fucking life. The first night I stayed with her, I threw up, I ate so much goddamn food. I remember thinking what a waste as I bent over the toilet and puked my guts out.
Nobody had ever wanted me. Nobody had ever given two shits about me. When no one has ever given you anything, not one thing in your life, and then someone comes along and gives you not only what you need, but what you want … you never forget it. What Pilar and I share, it’s not what I would call good.
But it’s more than I ever thought I’d be getting.
That she was interested in me had blown my mind. Made me want to work harder for her, prove that I could actually amount to something. She rewarded me, too. First with sex, and eventually with job opportunities, and I’ve proven my worth. Even though I don’t work directly under her anymore, supposedly I still owe her.
I’m ready, though, to have my debt paid in full.
“I won’t sit by and let you screw around with her. Have you lost your mind? Do you really believe by getting Violet Fowler in your bed, you’ll automatically get a promotion? Forrest Fowler is extremely protective of his daughters, you know. He’d probably chop your dick off if he found out you fucked his little girl,” Pilar points out. “Especially since she’s the damaged one of the bunch.”
The CEO of Fleur is overly protective of his two youngest daughters. The oldest one—Lily—is a walking disaster. A sexy one, too, who spent most of her time at parties half naked and drunk, gaining constant coverage on shitty gossip sites.
Violet is the restrained, fragile one. Rumor is she’d been admitted to a psych ward at one point. That their mother offed herself when the girls were young and Violet’s just like her. Vulnerable. Unstable.
A mess.
She’s the perfect victim. I could scoop her up and spit her out, no problem.
“I want to get in her good graces,” I say, because what the hell else can I say? I know Violet Fowler doesn’t give a shit about me. That I caught her staring at me a few minutes ago had surprised the hell out of me. “Besides, haven’t you always wanted to fuck around with Lawrence?”
The mock surprise on Pilar’s face is telling. “I’ve found him … scrumptious. On occasion.”
Scrumptious. The word in reference to Zachary Lawrence grates. The guy is an arrogant prick. It takes everything I have to restrain the frown that wants to appear. “So help me out here. Wrap your lips around Lawrence’s dick, take a few pictures, somehow get them to Violet, and then she’ll break it off with him. I’ll console her, look like a superhero, and Fowler will have no choice but to give the promotion to me.” It sounds like a shitty plan and I prefer to earn my promotions the old-fashioned way—doing a damn good job—but I’m pissed. I’d love nothing more than to snatch that job right out of Lawrence’s hands.
Snatch the promotion and his beautiful girlfriend, all at once.
“It’s not that simple, darling. Zachary is leaving for London. Remember?”
“Not for another week or two. That’s plenty of time for you to set your sights on him and fuck him over.” She moves quickly when she wants. So do I.
Pilar smiles and tilts her head back to let out a throaty laugh. One she’s honed to perfection over the years. Not one thing Pilar does is spontaneous. She’s calculated down to the very finest detail. “Aren’t you the naughty one, suggesting I nail Zachary Lawrence to help you get ahead in the company? What do I get out of it?”
“Sex with Lawrence?”
She smirks. “Not good enough. I want more.”
I decide to distract her by changing the subject. “Speaking of that jackass, he’s sitting over there right now having dinner with Violet.” He’s such a smarmy asshole. He knows how to put on the charm and most everyone at Fleur is completely enamored with him, but I see through the façade. I’ve lived enough, especially during the first nineteen years of my life on the streets, to recognize some real bullshit and know that what Lawrence is dishing out is top-of-the-line B.S.
“I saw them already.” Pilar schools her expression, grabbing her wineglass and bringing it to her lips so she can take a sip before she responds. “Such luck, that we chose the same restaurant tonight. I assume he’s telling her that he’s leaving.”
Good riddance. I won’t miss the guy, though I’m sure ninety-five percent of the staff is ready to throw him a huge going-away party. I bet he’s fucked about ninety-five percent of the female staff, too, what with the way he loves to chase a skirt.
More than once I’ve heard that Violet knows about Lawrence’s extracurricular activities but chooses to turn a blind eye. Why she tolerates him I have no clue.
Pilar sighs when I say nothing, propping her elbow on the edge of the table and resting her chin on her hand, looking like a wistful teenage girl. “He shall be missed by all.”
“Not by me,” I mutter.
She laughs. “You’re just jealous.”
“Of Lawrence? Hell no.” I shake my head. “He’s an asshole.”
“A charming asshole who has everything you could ever want.” The look on Pilar’s face tells me she thinks she knows all. “Admit it. You’re jealous. He’s your direct competition.”
I shrug. He’s the closest thing to competition I have when it comes to work. I started at Fleur about six months before he did. We’ve both moved up the ranks, at right about the same speed, though he’s outpaced me recently. I blame it on his relationship with Violet.
It doesn’t matter what anyone says. The man is banging the owner’s daughter. There have to be some advantage in there someplace.
“Tell me what you want, Pilar.” I say, wanting to refocus. Needing to refocus. I have to come up with a new plan. After speaking with Forrest Fowler earlier, letting him know that I want the position Lawrence is temporarily taking over, I want my chance.
I deserve a chance. So I need to use every advantage I can get.
She sobers, her expression thoughtful as she taps a blood-red fingernail against her pursed lips before she snaps her fingers and points her index finger at me. “I know. I want Violet gone.”
Now it’s my turn to raise my eyebrows. “Gone?”
“Mmm-hmm.” Pilar nods and drops her hand to the table, her fingers clutching the edge. “Zachary has something you want? Well, Violet has something I want.”
“And what’s that?”
“Power,” she says simply.
No shit. “She’s a Fowler. Of course she has power.”
“Yes, but if she’s gone, that’s one less Fowler I have to deal with,
hmmm? And Violet is so determined to follow in her grandmother’s footsteps. Certainly more determined than Rose is.” Pilar smiles, her lids lowering. “You destroy Violet, she’ll crumble like she has before. Then … she’s gone.”
Unease slips down my spine at Pilar’s suggestion. Yeah, we’ve played these sorts of games before, but she’s never asked me to destroy someone, particularly someone as delicate as Violet.
“You’ve already admitted you want to fuck around with Violet, right? Once Zachary’s gone, you’ll get the promotion and move to London and Violet will be left behind to pick up the pieces. She’ll fall completely apart, disappear, and I’ll step in and take over.” Pilar leans back in her chair, contemplating what she just said. “I personally think it’s a brilliant idea.”
It’s a fucking dangerous idea. One that makes me feel uncomfortable, not that I’d ever tell Pilar that. She’d use it against me.
I let my gaze slide toward Violet, watching as she perches on the edge of her seat, those wide, velvety brown eyes taking in everything that asshole Lawrence has to say. My skin tightens as I imagine her looking at me like that. Like I hung the moon and stars and everything in between, all of it just for her.
Yeah, I’ve fantasized about her. More than once. Who wouldn’t? Sometimes even when I’m fucking Pilar, I’ve imagined Violet in her place. Pictured her beneath me, all that long, silky dark hair spread across my pillow, her cheeks glowing, that velvet gaze stuck on me. Only me. There’s just something about her shy, reserved personality that drives me out of my fucking mind. That makes me want to drive her out of her fucking mind.
With my cock imbedded deep inside her tight little body.
“I don’t know. This idea comes with zero guarantees,” I finally say with a quick shake of my head. One wrong move and we could both be fired. I can’t afford to screw around. I need to focus. I need to get away from Pilar once and for all and get her to back off.
I need to grow the fuck up and do something with my life. I’m tired of dealing with distractions. But sick as it is, Pilar is all I have. There’s no family, no real close friends. It’s hard to let her go.