When our eyes met again, I saw hers were full of sadness. The level of candor in her response surprised me. “After Mom sent us to live in France with Nana, my brother, Fabien, was affected by the separation very severely. He was young, just five years old, and very attached to her.” She took a sip of her wine and continued, “You’re probably wondering why Jamie, the kid with diabetes, is so important to me?”
“I won’t hide it—I am curious. But I don’t want to pressure you. Tell me in your own time.” I’d learned that if you say to a woman you won’t pressure her, she finds it easier to trust you and open up.
I pushed aside the unfinished plate of steak and French fries I’d ordered. Gripped by an inexplicable desire to learn everything about this woman, whom I’d been obsessing about for a while, I’d lost my appetite.
Emily sighed heavily. It was obvious this was a sore subject, but she overcame the difficulty and told me anyway. “After the separation with my mom, Fabien caught some nasty virus, which gave him a fever for two weeks. My grandmother was very worried. She took him to the doctor twice, but he told her she needed to be patient, it was influenza and would pass on its own. They only prescribed him medication to bring down his temperature.” She paused for a moment, digging her nails into her palms. “Six months after the flu, he became diabetic, which turned our lives upside down in the worst possible way.”
At this moment, I got the urge to hug her, but didn’t want to press my luck, so I only extended my hand and grasped her long fingers. “I’d always thought diabetes was a disease that only old people get.”
She briefly pressed her lips together. “Diabetes in children is completely different from the adult-onset type and in ninety-five percent of cases is triggered by a viral infection. When the child is sick, the immune system gets confused. Antibodies that fight viruses start attacking the pancreas’ beta cells, which produce insulin. You become ill and can’t get better ever again. You remain a diabetic for life. Still, you can maintain normal levels of blood sugar by injecting insulin. In the past, people quickly died from this disease.”
I now fully understood her desire to help and support Jamie. Emily was good, too good for me. She deserved a man with a clean past and I didn’t fall into that category. But I was too much of an egotist to leave her alone. I wanted her in my bed, but not just there. I wanted her in my life.
An awkward silence fell. Trying to lighten the mood, I blurted out, “I’m curious…what type of men do you go for? Suits or boys with tattoos and leather jackets?” I sincerely hoped she preferred tattooed dudes.
Emily laughed heartily and the ice inside me started to crack. I felt a warmth heating the very depths of my soul.
“I don’t have any preferences. I’m not interested in men.”
The smile that had occupied my entire face a second ago instantly froze. She noticed my confusion and explained, “I’m not into women, don’t get me wrong. I just don’t have time to go on dates.”
Well, that was something I could change, but I had to be careful and avoid jumping the gun. However, I didn’t like taking things slow. If it were up to me, I’d take her home this very day and show her all the positive aspects of good sex.
“My personal life is very boring, Ryan, so it’d be better if we didn’t discuss it.”
Why did I get the feeling she was keeping something from me?
She licked her lips in a way that made me want to grab and kiss her. To put my hands on her beautiful face and give her a deep, passionate kiss. I didn’t understand how she managed to have such an effect on me. I was sure men were lining up to hit on her. I’d noticed how her coworkers flirted with her. Emily was a very sexy girl, the kind who caught your eye at once. But she didn’t realize how special she was.
“Don’t look at me like that.” Her cheeks reddened.
I moved my chair close to her. “How?”
Taking her hand, I kissed her delicate fingers. She trembled at my touch and this gave me an immediate hard-on. But just as I was picturing how I was making her scream my name in bed, she pulled her hand away.
Shit! I’d almost fucked things up due to my lack of patience. Seeing how she even avoided looking me in the eyes, something inside me broke.
I put my hand on her chin and turned her head to face me. “Emily, I—”
“Have you ever been in a serious relationship?”
My answer to her question might ruin everything. She knew I was no saint. And I had no intention of trying to convince her otherwise because I didn’t want to lie to her.
Leaning back in my chair, I replied reluctantly, “Yes, a long time ago.” I’d been around eighteen and had thought I was in love with the girl I was seeing. But now I understood that was simply a crush. “Look… So far, I haven’t had the desire to play the dating game. But I don’t see why that can’t change.”
For a brief period, both of us sank into silence. The more I gazed at the beautiful features of her face, the more I wanted to make her mine.
“If you’re seeking someone to spice up your sex life, you’ve chosen the wrong girl.”
What was she talking about, for God’s sake? It wasn’t like she was a virgin. Not with those legs and breasts… Other women would kill to have them. And those lips—thick and soft… I was sure I only had to kiss them to find myself in heaven.
“I don’t want just sex. Do you understand? I want to get to know you,” I whispered.
I wanted so much more.
7
Emily
I’d never imagined I’d have such a good time with Ryan. To be honest, at first I’d thought he was an asshole, but it turned out I’d been wrong. He was gentle and funny, but dominant, too, which I liked. I was always careful not to let any man get close to me, but that would probably change very soon, because I didn’t have the power to resist Mr. Sexy Rockstar. It felt too nice being with him and the sexual attraction between us was just too strong. He’d managed to break through the wall I’d built to protect myself from men.
Special… Nobody had yet managed to make me feel this way. Nobody but Ryan Wilder.
Misty entered the kitchen, interrupting my daydream. “You’ve still not told me anything about your date with Ryan. I’m warning you though—you better not try to keep the juicy details to yourself.”
Her hair was messed up beyond recognition. I’d heard a man’s voice earlier and could guess what she’d been up to in her bedroom. Unlike me, my girlfriend had no hang-ups about men and enjoyed sex. She was pretty and boys stuck to her like flies. Misty wasn’t an easy girl, but when she’d broken up with her last boyfriend, she’d decided not to get too involved for a while and simply enjoy life.
“You want coffee?” I passed her the cup I’d made for myself.
She took it and regarded me skeptically. “Don’t change the subject.”
I leaned on the edge of the kitchen worktop and crossed my arms in front of my breasts. “What do you want to know?”
“Um… Everything! What kind of a question is that? Ryan likes you and I can tell you’re not uninterested either. For God’s sake, Emily… He’s Ryan Wilder, not just some guy from the bar. He’s a rock star, and a dead sexy one at that. And yesterday he asked you out on a date.”
I sighed noisily, realizing there was no getting out of this. I had to spill the beans, otherwise I’d never be able to leave the kitchen. “I’m worried that I find myself too attracted to him. When I’m around him, I can’t think clearly and get butterflies in my stomach—”
“Yesssss.” Misty’s exclamation was so loud I had to stick my fingers in my ears. “The ice queen has finally surrendered.” She threw her arms around my neck and kissed me on the cheek.
I frowned. “I’m not an ice queen.” Not allowing any man to get under my skin didn’t mean I was cold. On the contrary, I was actually very sensitive.
Misty poked my breast lightly with her index finger. “If anyone is to reintroduce you to sex without leaving you disappointed, Ryan is the right man for the jo
b.”
“I think I’d also be able to resolve that situation to a satisfying conclusion,” a man’s voice said. Jacob entered the kitchen soon after.
Misty had been seeing him for a week, but my impression was that it wasn’t anything serious. Jacob was a really hot guy. He had a muscular body, which was now visible in all its beauty. He was naked to the waist and had a small towel wrapped around his hips.
“Great offer, but next time try to put some enthusiasm into it and I just might consider your proposal,” I said mockingly, but he didn’t seem to care. He grabbed Misty in a bear hug and leaned her back to give her a passionate kiss. The pose he’d assumed caused his towel to drop on the floor.
“Dammit, Jacob. Cover your ass, for God’s sake,” Misty said, slapping his backside. They both laughed and ran out of the kitchen. Leaving me to realize for the umpteenth time that I was missing out on something very important—enjoying life.
All because of my mother.
* * *
The week dragged on and on, seeming never to end. It was the first time I’d had to work without seeing Ryan. He’d gone to New York to sort out some personal problems relating to his mother. I hoped she was okay. Whenever he called me, which was every day, I could tell something was tormenting him, but he wouldn’t share anything with me.
Pleasant tingles washed over my skin whenever he told me he missed me. I couldn’t understand what made him so attracted to me, since I didn’t find anything particularly impressive about myself. I’d hated seeing the likeness of my mother in the mirror. That’s why I’d made myself look different. I’d grown my hair long and dyed it red. I couldn’t let blonde locks surround my face, the way they enveloped my mother’s.
I had to be different.
Otherwise, I’d fall into a spiral of self-destruction.
8
Emily
It was Friday night, so Misty, Jacob and I decided to go out dancing. Travis also joined us. He’d recovered from his fight with Ryan. His face was no longer bruised and swollen; he was back to his normal self. The only reminder of the incident was a small scar above his eyebrow.
The DJs in Wild Angels played the latest hits, setting the scene for a great night out. The only downside was that a friend of my roomie had also joined us. He was trying to test the waters, serving me with stupid compliments and pick-up lines.
Misty and I had occupied the dance floor and were enjoying the music. When Justin Bieber started singing “Never Let You Go,” an arm slid around my waist and a familiar male voice whispered in my ear, “I hope you’re not out on a hunt for men.”
Turning around, my gaze fell on the most beautiful pair of eyes I’d ever seen. “Ryan, I didn’t know you—” My words were silenced by his index finger, which he gently placed on my lips.
“I wanted to surprise you,” he said and smiled, making me melt on the inside. “Dance with me.”
We started dancing in time with the music. My God, this man knew how to move, which pretty much guaranteed he was also amazing in bed. I didn’t have the slightest doubt about that. This was the first time my thoughts had drifted in this forbidden direction without scaring me. Because what Ryan made me feel was so powerful and intoxicating. I was flying high in the clouds and this stupid smile wouldn’t leave my face.
A slow tune came on and Ryan pressed me close to him. His warm body and powerful masculinity became too much for me to handle. I was riding on the crest of a giant wave, which could wipe me out if I lost control. But I had to take the risk. I no longer had the strength to suppress my needs and desires, and they were gradually assuming control of my actions.
Realizing the naked truth, I got the urge to kiss him. My expression must’ve given away my wish, because Ryan leaned in, his wide hands covered my cheeks.
His thumb slowly traced the outline of my lower lip as he said, “I want to kiss you so bad… It’s driving me mad.”
In response, I pressed my body even tighter against his. Ryan bowed his head and our lips connected. At first, he kissed me gently, but when I moaned, his tongue rushed into my mouth and the kiss became dominant and passionate. His minty breath, his hard-as-steel muscles, his erection, which I felt against my belly… I’d surrendered to him and there was no going back.
I wanted him.
This reaction of mine scared me and, at the same time, intensified my arousal as I imagined what it’d be like to give myself to him in a way that I’d never given myself to another man.
Ryan ended the kiss and, taking my hand, pulled me away from the throng on the dance floor. I was so deep in thought about him, that I didn’t notice how he led me to some room. He shut and locked the door, dug his hands into my hair and resumed kissing me.
God… This guy was amazing.
I tried to take off his T-shirt, but didn’t manage to do it without his help. Ryan pulled it over his head and bent down. Then, with one skillful yank, he got me out of my black dress, which instantly joined his T-shirt on the floor.
“That dress leaves nothing to the imagination and you aren’t wearing a bra,” he whispered, cupping my breasts.
He was right. The dress was black, stretchy and very short. It stuck to me like a second skin and covered my body only from the breasts to the mid-thigh area.
Entranced by the magic of his powerful masculinity, I didn’t realize he’d been pushing me toward the door until my back came into contact with it. His hot lips explored my neck and then headed down to my breasts. He started to lightly suck my erect nipple, his palms massaging and giving me pleasure at the same time.
This man knew how to make a woman melt and surrender herself to him completely. All my inhibitions vanished. I didn’t care I was almost naked under his hungry eyes, wearing only panties. Ryan made my senses bloom like a flower that had spent too long in the shade.
His teeth sank into my soft flesh and I arched my back in pleasure. His hot tongue left a fiery trail on my skin. He bit me, teasing me and predisposing me for what was to come next.
“Baby, your panties are drenched. I hope you won’t be mad about what I intend to do.”
I wasn’t sure exactly what he was talking about—ripping them off mercilessly and throwing them on the floor or what he intended to do to me. At that moment, I couldn’t find the time to think. All I wanted was to feel pleasure.
He kneeled down in front of me and flung my leg over his shoulder, opened my folds with his thumbs and dug his face between my legs. His tongue found my throbbing clit and started playing with it, teasing it, causing a sensation of hot waves crashing deep inside me.
“I knew you’d taste amazing,” he murmured and resumed his sweet torture.
My hands sank into his soft hair. Pleasure pierced me deeper and deeper inside, as if it was reaching and conquering every last part of me.
Ryan sucked and rubbed the tumescent bundle of nerves. He slid his hot tongue into my wet opening, making me moan even louder. He began to move rhythmically inside me. I felt my muscles tense up. Flames spread across my body as he licked and opened me, faster and faster.
My breathing quickened. I heard my intense heartbeat in my ears. Everything started spinning around me at a furious speed. I was so turned on, so ready to… Hot waves washed over me and I came extremely quickly. The orgasm erupted as a powerful volcano inside me and radiated throughout my body. The sensation was amazing.
“Oh, God… I’m dying.”
Realized, I was now too numb, he pushed himself up. A light laughter escaped from his chest as he said, “My sweet Emily. I could stay on my knees tasting you all night and still wouldn’t get bored.”
Now that would be amazing.
Ryan was perfection personified—attentive, caring, sexy. I lifted my head and our lips merged in a powerful kiss. I’d never wanted to give myself to a man, but now I was burning with desire. My hands started to frantically unbuckle the belt of his jeans and then moved onto the zipper. I pulled down the elastic of his boxers together with his jeans, reveal
ing his huge cock. It seemed even bigger in my small hand, but I didn’t feel any fear. I trusted him to take his time, show me how attentive he could be knowing he was my first, without inflicting too much pain in the process.
I knew that if I was to give myself to a man, that man had to be Ryan Wilder.
An erotic groan escaped from his chest when I started to rub his cock from the base to the head, back and forth.
“Babe, I won’t be able to last very long like this and I want to lose myself in your small, wet pussy,” he said as his middle finger sank inside me.
The confusion that appeared on his face was stunning. He must’ve felt the proof of my virginity, making him stiffen.
But I couldn’t stop here.
I wanted him like I’d never wanted anyone in my life. “Please, Ryan. Don’t stop. I want you.”
His eyes were dark with passion, his lips swollen from countless kisses—he looked so hot.
Ryan tried to pull back, but I gripped him even harder in my arms. “Don’t make me regret that I’ve never had sex.”
He sighed loudly, leaned in and ran his nose along my neck. I watched him struggle with his desire, which intensified with each passing second.
“God, this can’t be true. How is it possible?” Our eyes met again. “You’re so beautiful. There’s a line of willing men and nobody has yet managed to… It’s unbelievable.”
“It’s not important how many were willing. Rather, it’s about whether I wanted to do it with any of them.” My lips showered his chest with feather-light kisses.
His skin was smooth, covered in tattoos on his arms and the right side of his chest. He had a piercing on his left nipple. I sucked on it, my tongue playing with the sliver hoop. His divine scent reached my nostrils.
Ryan groaned, grabbed handfuls of my hair and pulled me off. “Stop, dammit! You’ll make me lose control.”
Even pouting, he was irresistible. He looked just like a typical bad boy—jeans hanging low on his hips, powerful, bulging muscles, and messy hair. His cock was no less impressive—hard as steel, with velvety skin and two silver studs in the base of its head.