Davy sat between her and her dad while Cassie watched from the armchair. Bernard Hecko was fully dressed today. He wore twill trousers and an oxford shirt. The five pens he’d had on his pajama pocket were now lined up in his shirt pocket. His red hair was neatly combed instead of sticking up.
With gentle hands he caressed Davy’s head. “I’ve got a piece of candy for my favorite grandson.” He pulled a piece of caramel from his pocket. “Here you go.”
“Thanks.” Davy took the candy and began to unwrap it. “I didn’t know I had another grandpa.”
Bernard smiled. “I didn’t know I had a grandson for a while either.”
The camaraderie between the two amazed Bree. How could they pick up as if they had always been secure in their relationship, when she felt tongue-tied and inadequate? Cassie was smiling too, but all Bree wanted to do was bolt for the door and not look back.
Bernard—it was still hard to think of him as her father—looked up at her. “We could go outside. I had a slide and swing set put in yesterday.”
“Yay!” Davy raced for the door. He turned. “Hurry up, Grandpa!”
“I’m coming, I’m coming.” Bernard got up and shuffled to the door.
Bree followed, her steps lagging. She knew he wanted to talk to her without Davy overhearing. She should not have brought Davy on her first visit.
Davy ran toward the swing. “Watch me, Mommy!” He turned to make sure he had all their attention, then clambered to the top of the slide and slid down. Samson barked and raced around him.
Bernard made his way to a yard chair and sank down. He patted the chair beside him. “Sit down, Bree. We can talk.”
Just what she didn’t want to do. She glanced at Cassie and saw her intent stare. Coward, her eyes seemed to say. Stiffening, Bree sat beside Bernard and folded her arms across her chest.
“Finally I get to see how you’ve done all these years,” Bernard said. He stretched out his legs in front of him and searched his pocket for a piece of hard candy.
“You could have found out at any time by picking up the phone and calling me.”
He glanced at her from under his heavy brows. “I thought it best not to confuse you.”
“You thought wrong. It might have given me some stability.”
“You had your mother.”
“Oh? You think a drunk could give me a stable life? It might not have been so bad if she’d been a sloppy drunk. But she was a mean one.” Bree rolled up her sleeve and showed the scar she usually kept hidden. “See this? She jabbed me with the fireplace poker for snagging her hose when I washed them for her. I’d show you more but they hardly matter. The scars on my heart will never heal.”
Bernard stared at the scar. Furrows creased his brow, then he closed his eyes and shook his head. “I didn’t know,” he said. His eyes reddened, but he didn’t look away.
“How could you? You never called.” She’d said more than she intended. But he needn’t expect to be greeted with open arms for his sacrifice in staying out of her life.
“I’m sorry,” he said. “I was transferred to Florida. Things were pretty much over between your mom and me, and I thought I’d be too far away to be much of a dad anyway. I knew she drank a little, but I never realized it was to that extent.”
“You just had your fun and took off, right?” Bree didn’t try to keep the contempt from her voice. Maybe her mother’s drinking had gotten worse when Bernard left. She was too young to remember how it had all started.
“I know it looks that way.” His voice sounded weary, and he rubbed his head.
“Is your headache bad today, Daddy?” Cassie asked, her voice low and anxious.
“Not too bad, Cassie. Not too bad.” He rubbed at his head again. “I wanted to marry your mother, you know,” he said. “She said she didn’t want to break up my marriage.”
“Hadn’t she already?”
“Will you just shut up and let him explain?” Cassie burst out. “You’re so stinking rude.”
“Rude?” Bree stood and clenched her fists. “You’re the one who insisted I come. This isn’t easy for me.” All the years of heartache washed over her in a wave of painful memories. This man could have made her childhood so much different, but he hadn’t cared enough.
“Sit down.”
Bernard’s commanding voice stilled her restless movements. She turned and stared at him. The firmness in his voice was at odds with the plea in his eyes. Though every part of her being wanted to get out of here and forget this entire conversation, she slowly sank back in the chair. “Ten minutes, no more,” she said. “I have things to do today.”
“My wife was ill, a mental illness that made her shriek and cower every time I came near her. I had to put her in a facility and find someone to care for Cassie. I thought you were in the good care of your mother.” He sighed and dropped his head. “Maybe I wanted to believe it—I don’t know. Worrying about Cassie and my wife was more than I could handle. I had no idea things had been bad though. I’m sorry, Bree. Will you forgive me?” He reached over and grabbed her hand.
Forgive him? She tried to say “of course,” but the words stuck in her throat.
She pulled her hand away and stood. “I’d better get Davy. My students are waiting.”
This was going to be the hardest day of her life. Cassie tried to keep the tears from spilling over as she drove her dad to Rock Harbor Nursing Home the next morning. She still didn’t know if Bree would agree to her request for a regular family meal, and that made the day seem even bleaker.
Her dad reached over and patted her knee. “Don’t cry, Cassie. It’s best this way.”
His sweet words only added to her guilt. He was lucid again today, and she wanted to pretend to herself he’d stay this way forever, that he’d never have another blank day in which he wandered off. She knew better.
“This is a really nice place, Dad, and it’s only two miles from the house,” she said with false enthusiasm. “I’ll stop in and see you every day, and you can come home every Sunday.”
He didn’t answer, and she glanced at him. Her heart sank at the dullness gathering in his eyes.
“Did you bring my files?” he asked.
So quickly he was gone. Cassie blinked hard. “I’ve got them,” she promised.
“I can’t let them fall into the wrong hands.” His sly look faded to confusion again. “My research is too important.”
Naomi dried her hands on the dishtowel and hung it up to dry. Donovan had been uncharacteristically quiet ever since he got home, and her stomach clenched with the waiting to see what was wrong. She had a feeling it had something to do with Marika. The two weeks since she’d run into her husband’s ex-wife had trudged by with a sense of waiting for the other shoe to fall.
She was ready to get it over with.
“You having trouble with that, sweetie?” Naomi noticed the frown on Emily’s face as she worked on her homework.
“No,” Emily said, her gaze on the paper and a stubborn line to her lips. “I don’t need your help anyway.” She stood.
Naomi sighed. She thought Emily hated her now that Marika was back in town. “You need to wash your hair tonight when you take a shower.”
Emily picked up a glass of water on the table and dumped it on her head. “There. It’s washed. Now leave me alone!”
She rushed from the room, and Naomi followed. “I will not have you talk to me like that, young lady!” she called. Emily didn’t answer but rushed into the bathroom and slammed the door. Just as Naomi reached the door, she heard the lock click. She rattled the doorknob. “I want to talk to you, Emily.”
“Go away!” Emily shrieked the words. “I hate you.”
Naomi’s hand fell from the knob, and tears burned the back of her throat. She swallowed hard. Donovan was going to have to talk to Emily. She went down the hall in search of him.
Donovan was in his recliner with the news blaring and the paper in his lap. He dropped the paper to the floor and patted h
is leg. She collapsed onto his lap, and he nuzzled her neck.
“Um, you smell good. My favorite scent of baby shampoo and cooked cabbage.” There was laughter in his voice.
Naomi chuckled. “Your son still insists any other shampoo will burn his eyes, and you’re the one who wanted the fried cabbage. The rest of us won’t touch the stuff.” She settled against his chest. She would talk to him about Emily later. Right now, she needed this comfort.
Donovan played with her hair. She could sense a stillness in him, as if he was biding his time to tell her something. “How was your day?” she asked tentatively.
His hand stopped caressing her hair. “Um, not so good,” he said.
Naomi sat up and looked into his face. His blue eyes had an anxious squint. “What happened? Did Marika come by?”
He nodded. “Worse, she brought her lawyer with her. She wants to have the kids this weekend.”
Naomi felt like a fist had landed in her solar plexus. “What did you tell her? We can’t let her take them. What if she runs off with them? She can’t be trusted, Donovan.”
“You and I both know that, but I’m not sure we can convince a judge of that fact. She has parental rights. Her lawyer was quick to point that out.” He wrapped a strand of her hair around a finger. “I think she’s changed. She’s making a conscious effort to control her temper, and she seems to genuinely care about the kids.”
Naomi tensed. “Her track record tells a different story.”
“She says she was emotionally unbalanced during that time because I mistreated her.”
“What?” Naomi curled her hands into fists. “You don’t even kill spiders, but carry them outside! Is she nuts?”
Donovan gave a faint smile and kissed her nose. “It’s good I have you for a defender.” He sighed and ran his hand through his hair, leaving the black strands standing at attention. “I’m not sure we have a choice, sweetheart. It’s Emily’s birthday, and Marika says she’s missed three birthdays already and doesn’t want to miss another.”
“And whose fault is that? Not yours!” Naomi wanted to break something, preferably Marika’s head. “Now she’s back here as some kind of environmental crusader! Every time I turn around someone is gushing about how wonderful she is to care so much about her home-town.”
“She was always one to get involved in a cause. I’m surprised she’s stuck with this one as long as she has. She said she’s been working for this organization since she left here.”
“Well, I don’t want her taking Emily on her birthday. I have a party planned for her with all her friends.”
Donovan’s arms tightened around her. “You know as well as I do that Emily would love to spend her birthday with her mother.”
“She hates me,” Naomi murmured. “I wish you’d talk to her.”
“I’ll try.”
“So what did you tell the lawyer?” She was afraid to hear the answer. Donovan’s tight jaw said it all.
“I told her she could have the kids for the day but not overnight.”
“Why did she have to come back? We were so happy.” Since Marika’s return, the progress Naomi had made with Emily had eroded. The little girl had withdrawn and begun to call Marika on the phone the minute she got home from school. From the hopelessness in her husband’s voice, she knew he felt he didn’t have a choice. A part of her wondered if he had even fought to avoid this or if one look at Marika’s beauty had made him cave.
“I’m still happy; aren’t you?”
“Yes, but she’s messing everything up.” Naomi scowled.
“What’s that face mean?” Donovan ran his fingers along her jaw.
Naomi had to know. She knew the question would upset him, but she couldn’t live with this uncertainty gnawing at her like Charley with his favorite chew toy. “Do you still have feelings for her?” she asked in a small voice.
“For who? Marika?” Donovan gave a bark of laughter. “Oh yeah, I have feelings for her. Dislike and distrust. But that’s all.” He cupped Naomi’s face in his hands. “You’re my wife, and I love you. Don’t ever doubt that. My years with Marika weren’t happy, not one of them. The honeymoon wore off in a month, and I wondered how I could have been so stupid. I thought the children would make things better, but nothing helped. She was still just as wild and volatile. I’ve never said this, but the only thing I really felt when she left was relief. I didn’t believe in divorce, but she gave me the easy out.” He kissed her. “Can you still love a coward?”
The relief she felt nearly made her cry. “With all my heart,” she whispered. She snuggled against his chest again. “We need to decide about Lauri’s baby too. Have you given it any more thought and prayer? She needs to know so she can make plans. I’m leaving it up to you.”
Donovan nodded against the top of her head. “Yeah, I’ve thought about it. And prayed about it.” He cleared his throat. “I don’t think we should do it, Naomi. We’ve got so much on our plate right now with Marika. More turmoil wouldn’t be good for the kids or for our marriage. And I’d like to have a baby of our own sometime.”
Naomi closed her eyes, unable to stop the prick of tears. That was her heart’s desire too. She thought about carrying a baby in her own body, the child of their love for one another, and the vision filled her heart with a joy she’d never thought she’d feel. “When?” she asked.
“Soon. Let’s wait until this thing with Marika settles down and then start trying. I’m already thirty-six. I want us to have time to ourselves when we retire. I’m going to talk to a lawyer myself tomorrow and see what our choices are about Marika. We need to get it resolved, even if we don’t like what we have to do. There has to be some way to protect the children.”
Naomi didn’t know when she’d been happier. She thanked God Donovan felt the same way she did about having a child. But how could she tell Lauri no?
10
Her students clustered around the yard with their dogs. Bree found it hard to keep her mind on the training. Her father’s pleas coupled with the pictures of her as a child had rattled Bree more than she wanted to admit. She didn’t know what she would have done if she hadn’t had an excuse to leave. The past few days, her mind had been filled with turmoil and confusion.
“You’re all doing terrific,” Bree said. “I want you to be working toward FEMA certification now. The Federal Emergency Management Agency certification isn’t easy, but you’re all committed and your dogs are up to the challenge. There’s a training session in Milwaukee in three weeks. I’d like all of us who can to go to that. Are you game?”
“Even Zorro?” Lauri put in eagerly.
“Especially Zorro. He’s come a long way this year. You should be proud.” Bree studied the faces clustered around her. They were more than students; they’d become close friends and part of her life. “You’ve studied water searches, man-trailing, death response, and now it’s time to learn disaster preparedness. It’s a tough job though. You have to be physically conditioned for climbing over rubble, but even more important, the job takes mental conditioning to face the lack of hope when only bodies and not living victims are pulled from collapsed buildings. But I think you’re ready for it.”
“I’m in,” Eva Nardi said. Lauri called her a Nordic goddess, and the description fit her six-foot statuesque frame.
“I’ll need to see if someone can watch Gretchen,” Karen Siller said. “But she can probably stay with my mom. How long would we be gone?”
“Over a three-day weekend. But it will be worth the trip,” Bree promised.
“I’ll have to ask Kade,” Lauri said. “Or you could ask him. He’d say yes if you asked.”
Bree’s cheeks heated at Lauri’s pointed look. “I think I’ll let you handle that.”
Lauri knelt and scratched Zorro’s ears. “He’ll do anything for you.”
“From the mouth of a child,” Naomi muttered under her breath.
Bree shot her a quelling look. “I’ll see about making motel arrangements. Are y
ou all okay with sharing a room? Other than you, Ryan. I’m afraid you’ll have to pay for it yourself.”
“No problem. I’ll find something to do,” the quiet paramedic answered with a sly look at Eva. She smiled back at him.
“We had a call this morning about looking for a runaway who’s been missing for two months,” Bree told them. “I’d like as many of you as possible to go with me. This will be something new for you as we go through the boy’s room and let the dogs look for distress smells. It’s doubtful we’ll find the boy, but we might be able to tell a little about his state of mind. I told the parents we’d come over late tomorrow afternoon.”
The group began to disperse. “Can we talk?” Lauri asked Naomi.
“I was planning on it,” Naomi said. “We have any Pepsi left, Bree?”
“In the refrigerator.”
“Come with us,” Naomi mouthed over her shoulder as she and Lauri went toward the Kitchigami Search and Rescue building.
What was up? Bree hurried after them. She and Naomi hadn’t had much time to talk the last few days.
Inside the building, Naomi handed out soda. She pulled her long, single braid over her shoulder and twisted it in her hands, a sure sign she was nervous.
“Pistachio?” Bree asked, splitting a nut with her thumb.
“Thanks.” Lauri took a handful, but Naomi refused, though she didn’t make her usual comment of dislike but instead chattered away about last night’s reality TV show.
“You’re going to say no, aren’t you?” Lauri said, sounding near tears.
Suddenly understanding her friend’s anxious manner, Bree took Lauri’s arm. “Let’s all sit down,” she suggested.
Lauri made no move to resist as Bree tugged a folded chair into the office. Tears sparkled on her lashes.