He couldn’t breathe. And he absolutely couldn’t look away. She caught him staring, and he didn’t even care. The pull that had been between them since he’d confessed his feelings to her seemed to tug until he couldn’t resist taking a step toward her.
He felt the weight of all the female eyes in the near vicinity, but he was used to them. Janey didn’t look away from him either, and it was like he’d parted the Red Sea as the other bridesmaids flowed around him until he was face-to-face with her.
The woman he loved.
He didn’t say anything. His emotions stormed through his chest, but everything else around him had gone quiet, still.
Someone called his name, but he ignored it easily, like swatting away a fly.
“They want you,” Janey said quietly, a flush staining her tanned cheeks.
Did she want him too?
Why couldn’t he say anything?
“You better go. Everyone’s staring.”
“Adam?” Drew arrived at his side and put his hand on Adam’s shoulder. “Come on, Chief. Alicia only has about twenty minutes to get these pictures done.” He glanced at Janey. “Hi, Janey.”
“You look so handsome, Drew.” Her face bloomed with a smile, and she ducked her head, tucking a hair that wasn’t there out of old habit. “You too, Chief.”
“Come on,” Drew said. “You can talk to her later, when I’m not paying for it.” He turned, and Adam looked at Janey for one more moment. His beautiful, wonderful Janey.
She linked her arm through his and gently turned him around. “I think he’s going to hurt you if you don’t fall into line,” she said. “He’s stressed. So let’s make it easy for him, okay?”
He could listen to the magical, musical sound of her voice all day. Her words bounced around inside his mind and he managed to listen to the photographer enough to stand where she wanted him, look at the camera, put his hand in his pocket with the thumb out.
Let’s make it easy for him.
Was that what she was doing? Being nice to him because it was easier than trying to avoid him?
For some reason that made him angrier, not more hopeful that they could get back together. Sure, his arm felt like she’d shocked it with her bare hands, even through his suit coat sleeve.
“Done,” Alicia announced. “Thanks, everyone.”
“We have a light lunch for all of you in the conference room upstairs,” Gretchen called. The women started mincing their way back to the Mansion, their heels sinking into the gravel as they went. Adam hung back with Drew and Gretchen, not wanting to be trapped in a small space with Janey.
“I’m supposed to go get Jess,” he said. “So I’ll skip lunch if that’s okay.”
“Be sure to just grab something,” Gretchen said. “I got the roast beef with avocado just for you.” She looked at him with anxious eyes, and Adam hated that he’d caused problems for her.
“Thank you, Gretchen,” he said, his voice catching on the last syllable of her name for a reason he couldn't fathom. His emotions vibrated just underneath his skin, and it didn’t feel like an adequate barrier for keeping them contained.
“She’ll come around,” Drew said.
“She already has,” Gretchen said.
“I couldn’t say anything to her,” Adam said. “I don’t know what to say. I feel like I’ve said it all already.”
“Just don’t zone out so much,” Drew said, waiting for Adam to open the huge doors for him and his bride-to-be.
“Definitely cut back on the zombie staring,” Gretchen said, a teasing quality in her voice.
“Was it that bad?” Adam watched his brother’s face and saw that yes, it was.
Gretchen laughed. “We all shouted your name simultaneously and you didn’t even flinch.”
“Great,” Adam mumbled. He headed up the steps to collect his sandwich because he really didn’t want Gretchen to be upset with him on her wedding day. Then he got out of the Mansion as fast as possible so he wouldn’t have another apocalyptic encounter with Janey.
Chapter Twenty-Seven
Janey finished vacuuming and decided to leave the bathrooms for another day. Her back ached from the five-mile climb she’d done in the park the day before. That, combined with scrubbing the shower, and the couch and a fistful of ibuprofen were calling her name.
Rain started to fall steadily against the kitchen window as she downed the painkillers and tore a banana off the bunch. Armed with the fruit and a mug of her favorite dark roast coffee, she headed into the living room to put on a movie she’d seen a dozen times before. With any luck, she could doze for an hour or two.
She wouldn’t see Jess until evening, when Adam pulled up in his new cruiser and dropped him off. But she wanted to get a few more recipes into the book she’d been putting together on her days off, when Jess wasn’t around.
It was a gift for him, and she hoped to be able to present it to him at Adam’s birthday dinner. The plans for that had been going great, as Jess had suggested they do it at his house. “I cook for him all the time anyway,” he’d said. “I’ll just tell him I’m making steak and mac and cheese, and he can sit back and relax.”
“You cook for him all the time?”
“Yeah, every weekend,” he said. “He cooks during the week, or he buys me a hamburger. It’s...nice.”
Janey supposed it was nice, and while the fact that Adam cooking for and feeding her son triggered some guilt in her, she didn’t want to take it from Jess.
“Besides,” she told herself as she shut the blinds so the living room was dark. “If you can pull off this birthday dinner and get him to take you back, he can cook for you too.” With that thought in her head, and the soft strains of a romantic movie on the screen, she ate her banana and sipped her coffee.
The wind blew like it had a personal vendetta against the Washington Peninsula, and Janey was glad to be home, tucked under a warm blanket. She wouldn’t want to be outside in this gale, which only made the pounding on her front door more upsetting.
She flung the blanket off her legs and darted around the corner, her heart flinging itself against her breastbone.
The knocking came again, not quite as loud but just as urgent.
She strode forward and pulled the door open only to come face-to-face with a dripping wet man.
“Adam.” She pressed one hand to her chest as two wet, muddy, and slobbery dogs rushed past her and into the house she’d just cleaned.
“I can’t do it,” he panted. He wore a pair of black gym shorts that fell to his knee and showed the bright red scar from his recent surgery. His gray T-shirt was plastered to his body by the rain, and water dripped from the ends of his hair.
“Can’t do what?” She ignored the slipping and sliding of dog claws on her hard floor. She didn’t dare turn to see what they’d done to her house.
“I can’t give you up.” He blinked at her and wiped his hand down his face. “I just can’t do it. Tell me what to do to get you back, and I’ll do it.”
Of course he would. Janey didn’t know what to say—he didn’t need to do anything—so she backed up and said, “Come in.” She waved him forward when he hesitated. “Come on inside. It’s freezing out there.” The wind whipped the rain horizontally, and though her porch was covered, Adam was still getting sprayed.
He stepped through the door and closed it behind him. Now she had three huge animals dripping all over her floor.
“Janey—”
“Don’t,” she said. A sigh ripped through her body, and she paced away from him. She hadn’t imagined making up with him while he stood in her foyer, dripping wet. She’d fantasized about showing up at his house on his birthday, the cake Jess had made in her hands as she walked through the door wearing a green party dress that complemented her hair and eyes.
But she was wearing a pair of sweats and a ratty navy sweatshirt that fell off her left shoulder clumsily.
She looked at him and wanted to be with him. Wanted him to know. So though
her nerves batted around her chest, she said, “I love you. Jess and I were planning this big birthday surprise for you, and he’s going to be so upset you ruined it.”
Adam blinked, a frown pulling at his eyebrows. “I’m sorry. Did you say you loved me?”
She exhaled a laugh. “Desperately. Madly. Terribly.”
He moved with the power and grace of a panther, sweeping her into his arms and pressing his lips to hers. The water from his clothes seeped into hers, but she didn’t mind so much, not when he kissed her with so much love and emotion in his touch.
“I love you, too,” he said.
She pressed her forehead against his, enjoying the weight of his hands on her hips. She laughed, this time with a little more mirth in the sound. “Come on. I want to show you something.”
She took his hand and turned around, stopping in her tracks after only one step. “Oh my goodness. Your dogs—” Janey didn’t know how to finish. Mud and water had been splattered on the walls and now ran down. Dozens of footprints marred the floor and she couldn’t even imagine what her carpet looked like. Gypsy peeked her sopping, dirty head out of the living room, and a groan issued from Janey’s mouth.
“I’ll call a maid service.” Adam stepped around her and said, “Come on, Gypsy. Get outta there. Fable?”
The husky appeared down the hall, in the kitchen—which at least didn’t have fibers on the floor.
“They can go on the back porch,” she said. “It’s covered.”
He towed the golden retriever through the kitchen and out the back door, commanding Fable to follow. The husky did, but reluctantly, and he turned around and pressed his nose right against the glass again, begging to be let back in.
Janey moved to the living room doorway and peeked in. At least Gypsy had stayed on the floor. Adam joined her at her side, wrapping one strong arm around her waist and pulling her against him. The touch made her jump, and a nervous giggle escaped her mouth.
“Sorry.” Adam edged away, but Janey cozied right up to him again.
“I’ve just—I’m not used to you touching me, that’s all,” she said, smiling up at him. “I like it.”
“So are you going to tell me what the problem was?” He shivered, and she stepped away from him.
“Are you working today?”
“I was going to, yeah.” He ran his hands through his hair, sending water everywhere. “I can probably call in though.”
“I’ll drive you home, and you can shower. Then you go on in to work and I’ll bring you lunch.”
“Lunch in my office? So soon?” He shook his head. “Nah. I’ll bring over some of that Thai you like, and then I can check in with the maid.”
“You haven’t even called anyone.”
He unzipped a pocket on the side of his shorts and removed a phone encased in a plastic bag. “I’ll do it right now.” He stepped away from her to make the call, and Janey rubbed her hands up her arms.
His low voice rumbled through the hallway, and he said, “Great, thanks, Monica,” before returning to her. “They’re on their way.”
“I got scared,” she blurted. “I got scared when you got hurt, because I thought maybe I was a curse on the men in my life. Or something.” She paused, now that she’d started talking, her heart and mind calming a little.
“I was worried that you had a much more dangerous job than a ferry engineer, and Matt had died. I was sure it was only a matter of time before you had something bad happen to you, something much worse than a broken leg.” She clenched her arms around her waist. “I sometimes get really deep inside my head, and I can’t see reason.”
He nodded as if he understood. But how could he? She didn’t even understand her neurosis. “I get it. My job is dangerous sometimes.”
The atmosphere between them turned charged, and Janey said, “I’m willing to take the risk to be with you,” her voice trembling the slightest bit. She stepped past him to collect her purse and keys from the kitchen counter.
“You really are going to have to explain to Jess why his perfectly planned birthday dinner and birthday cake are now ruined.”
“Oh, I don’t know.” Adam pressed a kiss to her temple. “Maybe we can keep this on the down-low for the next ten days.”
Curling up with the couch that evening was one of the hardest things Janey had ever done. Not as hard as losing her husband, but tough. Because the man she loved was with her son, and she had to pretend to still be lonely and miserable at home. By herself.
And she still kind of was.
She resisted the urge to text Adam, and instead called her sister. “I have some news for you,” Janey singsonged once AnnaBelle had answered.
A shriek came through the line, and Janey yanked the phone away from her ear. “Okay, not a good time for a phone call,” she yelled to her sister.
“Bring Harvey’s,” AnnaBelle called. “We can chat once they’ve eaten.”
Janey chuckled, got herself to her feet, and drove over to the fast food joint that would save her sister from an evening of wanting to tear her hair out. When she arrived at the modest home on the east side of town, Janey could hardly contain her excitement.
She pushed open the door and held it with her hip as a wave of noise rolled over her. “Hey!” she called. “I have chicken fingers and French fries!”
Shouts and footsteps raced toward her, and Janey grinned at her niece and nephew. “This one’s for you,” she said, handing a colorful bag to Macey. “And this one has extra ranch for you, Henry.”
“Aunt Janey!” He practically knocked her to the ground with the exuberance of his hug. “Mom! Aunt Janey brought fooood!” He skipped away from her as AnnaBelle came around the corner, her baby on her hip. Both of them looked liked they’d been crying.
“Let me take him.” She took the one-year-old from her sister, trading Eli for a bag of food. “Where’s Don?” She cooed at the baby and bounced him up and down.
“He has business in Seattle until Friday.” AnnaBelle pulled a box of fries out of the bag and plucked two from it. “Mmm.” Her eyes rolled back in her head. “You’re a life-saver.”
Janey grinned at her sister, almost bursting with her news. She held it in long enough to take Eli into the kitchen and strap him into his highchair. She tore up a few fries and put them on the tray before taking out a piece of chicken and cutting it into chunks.
The other kids had disappeared down the few steps into the living room, where a cartoon blared while they ate. At least they were being quiet. AnnaBelle was too, and Janey’s enthusiasm for her renewed relationship with Adam bubbled just beneath her skin.
“So you said you had news?” AnnaBelle asked.
“Oh, it’s nothing.” Janey waved her hand and bit into a bacon cheeseburger.
That caught AnnaBelle’s attention and her dark-haired head cocked to the side. “You’re lying.” Her eyes glinted in a way that said she’d get the information she wanted, one way or another.
“I made up with Adam,” Janey said, unable to keep a straight face while she said it.
AnnaBelle was the one who shrieked this time, launching herself out of her chair and across the room to hug Janey.
They laughed together, and Janey embraced her sister, pure happiness flowing through her.
Chapter Twenty-Eight
The ten days between when Adam stopped by Janey’s drenched, desperate, and determined and his birthday seemed to take a decade to pass. Jess came over every night, and it took every ounce of his willpower to keep the news of his resumed relationship with the boy’s mother to himself.
Luckily, Adam had had a lot of patience in the keeping-things-to-himself department.
“So you’ll stop by the grocery store tomorrow, right?” Jess asked.
“Yes,” Adam said for the fifth time. “All the ingredients for macaroni and cheese. Ribeye steaks. Lots of Diet Coke.” He grinned at the boy.
“I’ll be here to cook for you,” Jess said. “All right?”
Ad
am sighed, wondering if the boy had noticed anything different about Adam’s demeanor the past several days. He’d been sneaking over to see Janey on her days off, and she’d come to his place twice after ten p.m., after Jess had gone to sleep.
The limited contact with her made him grumpy, and he hoped to have his own surprise for Jess tomorrow. Janey had a handmade cookbook for him, a binder she’d put together of all the recipes he’d talked about, with illustrations she’d done herself.
“I haven’t been able to read much lately,” she’d admitted a couple of nights ago when she’d shown up with the binder in her hands. “Tell me if you think he’ll like it.”
Adam had marveled at the binder, at Janey’s attention to detail, that she knew how much of a choc-o-holic Jess was, as at least half of the recipes in the book were desserts. He’d said, “I have several I can give you that he seems to like.”
So he’d copied out all the ones Jess had been using at his house, and Janey said she’d get them added to the binder in time for the birthday dinner the following evening.
Finally, the day arrived. Adam endured bad singing at the station, a delicious birthday cake though it was bought from the grocery store, and a bouquet of black balloons though he wasn’t quite forty yet.
“Next year,” Sarah said. “This whole place will be draped like the Day of the Dead.”
When he pulled into his driveway, Jess had the lights on inside the house, and the scent of sugar and chocolate greeted him. “Jess?”
“In the kitchen!”
Adam carried the grocery bags in and set them on the clean countertop, taking in scene before him. “Did you make me a birthday cake?” His heart swelled with love for the boy, who stood at the sink, washing his hands.
“It’s a surprise,” Jess said over his shoulder.
Adam searched for a hint of the surprise, but didn’t find even a drop of cake batter or icing anywhere. The pans that had been used lay on the towel next to the sink. Jess turned, wearing a great big smile.