Was it their bodies?
Stop it, Rebekka. You can't do this to yourself.
I then decided I'd be damned if I was just going to stand there and let fear and paranoia overtake me. I decided to disobey Jacks' order and rushed toward the trees. At first, I couldn't see what it was they were looking at, but as I came closer, I soon realized—in terror—exactly what it was.
A yellow school bus, half sunk into the river.
19
May 2018
I turned to look at Jack Ryder. He was staring at the brown water, looking paralyzed. I didn't even think about it twice. I threw my phone in the grass, took off my shoes, and dove in. As the murky water surrounded me, I could hear Jack screaming at me, calling my name, but it was too late.
I swam deep into the water, toward the front of the sunken bus. As soon as I reached a window, I tried to look inside, but couldn't see anything through the dark glass. I tried to pull it open, but it was impossible. I continued to the next window, trying to push it, then swam for the door. It was locked, but I managed to find the outside hatch that opened it. Except it didn't work. It was stuck. I hammered my fists into the door, desperately wondering if my poor daughter was somewhere in there, fighting for her life, maybe already dead.
Were we too late? Had they all drowned?
The thought was unbearable, and I had to restrain myself to save the air I had left in my lungs when I suddenly noticed that one of the windows was cracked. I swam to it, clenched my fist, then punched the glass till it shattered. Blood floated in the water from the cut in my hand, but the window was open. I removed any small pieces of glass, so I wouldn't cut myself further, then grabbed the edges of the window and pulled myself inside.
Desperately, I looked around me, but I couldn't see much in the murky water. There was no one in the seat I had landed in and, as I reached the aisle of the bus, I couldn't see anyone there either.
Julie? Are you here, Julie?
I searched the seats, one after another, then the floors beneath and the entire aisle, but I found no kids, much to my relief. I swam one last time up and down the aisle and sensed I was about to run out of air. I headed for the window when there was movement behind me, and I paused. I turned around and saw something move in the water, fast. It swam past me once underneath me, then once above me, and my heart started to pound as I spotted its long tail slithering in the water behind it.
It was a gator.
Frantically, I whimpered, then grabbed for the window and pulled myself through it when something grabbed my leg and a huge pain shot through my body. I screamed but tried to keep my mouth closed and save the last bit of air I had left. I looked down and realized the gator had its jaws clenched around my thigh and it was pulling on me forcefully. I held onto the edge of the window, then turned to face the animal. I stared directly into the creature's black eyes. Blood was gushing into the water, floating slowly toward the surface.
I stared at the gator, desperately trying to get it to let go of my thigh, punching its jaws with my fists, but nothing helped. The gator kept pulling at me, trying to drag me further down, and I was out of air. My lungs screamed to be able to breathe, and it felt like a burning pain in them. That was when I remembered something I had once seen on TV about a gator hunter who told what he would do if one ever attacked him. I reached out two of my fingers, then poked each of them into one nostril of the gator, making sure I jammed them up so far that the creature could no longer breathe through its nose.
In order to not suffocate, the gator had to let go of my thigh, and so it did, but it was too late. I looked up at the light and tried to swim toward it, but I had no more strength left and no more air. I felt dizzy, and soon I couldn't stay conscious anymore. I felt myself slide toward the bottom, everything inside of me screaming to swim for the surface, but no parts of my body obeying anymore. I was barely awake when I felt someone grab me from behind.
20
May 2018
"What the heck were you thinking!"
I blinked my eyes as my sight slowly came back and the face staring into mine went from just a blur to a full person.
"J-Jack?"
His nostrils were flaring, his cheeks blushing red. "Why? Why would you throw yourself into the water like that? It's filled with gators. Don't you know anything?"
I coughed. I realized I was lying in the muddy grass next to the river. Jack's long hair was dripping on my face.
"You came in after me?"
"I had to…" he sighed and removed a lock of hair from his face. "You're crazy. Has anyone ever told you that?"
"I'm just a mother," I said and coughed again. My lungs were still burning, and it felt like I couldn't breathe properly. My leg was hurting crazily, and I looked down at the bloody bite.
"We called for an ambulance. You need that looked at," he said. "Lie still, please."
I smiled, and he gave me a look.
"She wasn't there," I said. "There were no kids down there. They must have put them on another bus or something. That's good news, right? Means they're still alive, right?"
He took in a deep breath. "Yes, well…that is the good news. But I could have found that out without you getting yourself hurt."
"I couldn't very well just stand there and watch. What if she was down there?" I asked.
He gave me half a smile. "I guess I would probably have done the same had it been my kids," he said. "But that doesn’t mean that it was a good idea. It was a terrible idea, Rebekka. I knew I should never have brought you here. It was a bad idea from the beginning."
I sat up. My head was spinning, but it felt better to sit than to lie down, so I did. A team of divers had arrived, and one of them was bringing something up from the water. It looked like a basket. He gave it to Jack, who looked down in it, then showed it to me. It was packed with cellphones and watches. I recognized Julie's phone as the one on top. I grabbed it and pressed a button. It was still turned on.
"Long live waterproof phones, right?" I said with a scoff.
Jack squatted next to me. "Hey, at least it brought us this far."
I nodded. He was right. I had hoped I would bring back my daughter and it was devastating that I still didn't know where she was or when I was going to see her again, but at least we had found the bus. And at least we hadn't found her dead body.
"So, I guess we're back to square, right?"
He cleared his throat. "It's back to square one, and no. Not completely. We've got the bus and the phones. We have evidence. And with evidence, we can begin an investigation. But let me do the dangerous work from now on, promise?"
I really couldn't.
I heard sirens in the distance and spotted the ambulance as it approached. Jack told me to stay still till they came for me, that I had lost a lot of blood. I did feel dizzy, so I laid myself back down, my heart still crushed and worried.
Where are you, Julie? Will I ever see you and hold you again?
21
May 2018
They drove for what felt like forever. At first, the road they drove on was smooth and normal, but later it turned bumpy, and the girls were jostled around inside the van. Julie held onto Alicia and the little girl that had clung to Julie ever since she had helped her earlier. She was crying helplessly, and Julie tried to calm her down.
"What's your name?" she asked.
The girl sniffled. It was terribly dark inside the van, but she could still see the girl's big eyes.
"Nikki."
"Okay, Nikki. My name is Julie. I’m in sixth grade; what grade are you in?" Julie asked, trying to make the girl feel better, even though she was about to scream in panic herself.
"First," she said.
"First grade, huh? And who's your teacher?"
Nikki sniffled again and wiped her right eye. "Mrs. Hall."
"I see. And do you like Mrs. Hall?"
"Yes. She's really nice."
The van started to bump really badly, and some kids screamed in the back. Juli
e held onto Nikki with both hands, so she wouldn't fly up and leaned on Alicia to try and hold her steady as well. Luckily, Julie was pretty heavy since she was so tall for her age. Haley wasn't so lucky. She was thrown up in the air, then bumped into the side of the van with a loud scream. Emmy from fifth grade helped her back up. Haley cried as she realized she was bleeding from her temple. The bumping continued, and it felt like every organ inside Julie's body was about to be shaken loose. She closed her eyes, praying it would stop soon, but it didn't. They had to be driving across a field or some terrain where there were no roads. Julie guessed they were staying off the roads in order not to be found by the police. They had to be looking for them by now.
They'll find you; don't worry, Julie. Just keep calm; just keep calm. If the police don't find you, your mom will. She won't stop till she does. You know her, Julie. You know how she is.
Julie opened her eyes as the bumping subsided a little. She was anxious about where they were going. If they kept going through places where there were no roads, it was going to take longer for the police to find them. With every bump, she felt like she was getting farther and farther away from her mother, and the thought terrified her to the core.
"What's your teacher's name?" Nikki asked, her voice shaking as the bumping grew worse again.
"W-what's that?" Julie asked.
"Y-your teacher? What's her name?"
Julie looked down at the little girl with the curly hair. "I have Mrs. Cherup. She's really nice. You might have her too one…" the bumping grew worse again, and Julie closed her eyes. Nikki shrieked and hid her face in Julie's lap. Alicia clung to her shoulder. Julie could hardly stand any more jostling. Someone else was hurt in the back and screamed.
Please be over soon. Please stop driving.
For a second, Julie actually thought God had heard them as the van came to a sudden halt. She let out a deep sigh of relief just as the door was pulled open and a bright light shone into their eyes and almost blinded them.
22
October 1991
Jane got out of bed by swinging her legs out over the edge first, then sitting up before sliding to the ground, holding a hand underneath her growing stomach. She was getting big, really big. But that wasn't such a strange thing since the scan earlier in her pregnancy had shown that she was, in fact, carrying twins.
She put her tired feet on the carpet, then rose up and walked—no make that waddled because that's how it felt and looked—to the bathroom. Jane was nervous about the prospect of having to give birth, twice, but mostly about how her life would turn out afterward. Everyone told her having twins was tough, and she wasn't sure she was completely prepared for it. But then again, was anyone ever really prepared for having a child? Was it that much different having two? Did you ever really know what you were getting into when giving birth to your first one?
That was how her co-worker and mother of three boys had laid it out for her. You never knew. Even if you had done it before, you were never fully prepared. That was part of the charm, if you wanted to call it that, she said. The loss of control. No matter what spat out of you in that hospital bed, it was bound to change your life and you forever.
"Doesn't matter if it's the first or the tenth if you ask me. Every one of them is different, and they don't come with no manual."
Jane had, however, gotten herself a manual. She had gotten herself five of them. Five books on how to raise a baby and she read them intently every night before bedtime, making sure not to miss any part of them so that nothing would be a surprise to her.
Jane didn't like surprises.
Jane waddled out of the bathroom and into her walk-in closet and took out a dress. She pulled it over her head, but it was way too tight around her stomach, and she took it off, then hung it back up. She tried another one, then another, then grabbed her maternity pants that she had been wearing for three days in a row now. She only had that one pair, and she was sick of wearing them every day.
She missed working already and regretted having to quit so shortly after she got pregnant. She had asked Bob if she couldn't wait till she was about to give birth, like a month in advance, but Bob wouldn't hear of it. She didn't understand why she had to walk around the house, big and bored beyond anything, waiting for these babies to come out. Why couldn't she just work a little? She wanted to enjoy these last months out in the world.
Looking at her pants in the mirror, she was reminded that she hadn't shopped in months. Bob took care of their finances now, which was only fair since he was the one who made all the money, and besides, she shouldn't worry herself with that, but that also meant she didn't have anything to shop for or to spend on herself anymore.
She stared at her own reflection, then found a shirt that was just big enough to fit around her stomach, but it stuck out in an un-orderly way, and Jane sighed deeply. She used to be so neat and always fashionable. Now, she just looked like a big fat bag of potatoes.
She walked down the stairs, holding onto the railing, panting and wheezing. She couldn't believe she still had two and a half months to go. How big was her stomach going to get?
Bob had made pancakes and bacon for her. Jane sat in a chair and began to eat. She was so incredibly hungry, but she couldn't eat much at a time because the babies took up so much space. Usually, she would have to eat again in about an hour or so. She watched as Bob ate and sipped coffee, jealously missing the caffeine. But Bob had told her it wasn't good for the babies, so she had stayed away from it all through the pregnancy.
"I made you some tea," he said, smiling. "Green tea, no caffeine. Should help with the swelling of your feet."
She smiled back, holding a hand over her stomach. "I noticed. Thank you, sweetie."
Jane sipped it and ate some bacon, crunching it. The babies kicked inside her stomach and she made a strained face. It was fun and exciting in the beginning, but now it was getting uncomfortable.
"Are they kicking again?" Bob asked and put his hand on her stomach. Then he laughed, as what they guessed was a heel or maybe an elbow poked out underneath the tight skin and moved across her stomach.
"I can't wait to see my babies," Bob said with a grin. He took Jane's hand in his. "We're going to be a real family. Just the four of us, no one else. A real family, Jane. It's what I’ve wanted all of my life. A family with a mom and a dad."
Jane sighed. She knew this was all he wanted. They had both grown up with single moms and no dads, so that was her wish too. She wanted a family; she really did. Only she still wondered if they were too young.
"Here, let me get you some more orange juice," he said. He got up, pulled a chair out, and helped her to get her feet up on it. She smiled. Bob was so incredibly considerate, always putting her needs before his. She sure was a lucky woman to be with him.
"I was thinking that maybe I could get some money, so I could buy myself some new clothes?" she asked, cautiously.
She hated asking Bob for money. It wasn't often she did since he took care of the grocery shopping, and everything else for that matter, so she could focus on being pregnant.
"I don't have anything to wear that I like anymore," she said. "I would like to get a nice dress."
Bob stopped pouring the juice into her glass. He slammed the fridge shut, hard.
"And just why is that, might I ask?"
"Because I look so ugly in these same clothes that I wear every day."
He stood with the glass in his hand, then approached her, his jaw clenched. "And who is it exactly that you have to look oh-so-pretty for, huh?"
Jane blinked. She had no idea what he was talking about. "What do you mean?"
"I mean who is it that you're making yourself look good for, huh?"
"You. Who else?"
"I think you look perfectly fine the way you are," he said. "So, it can't be me. It can't be for my sake."
"Who else would it be? You're the only one I see all day, Bob. I want to look good because it makes me feel better about myself, and hopefull
y, you'll like it too. Geez. Why are you so insecure?"
And just like that, it was like she flipped a switch. Bob took the glass and threw it through the air, hitting the wall behind her, shattering the glass. Orange juice was smeared all over the wall and was running down it in stripes. Jane rose to her feet in fear, but she didn't move fast enough. Bob was in front of her. He lifted his fist and slammed it into her face so hard, she fell onto the tiles.
23
May 2018
I was quite high on pain medication by the time I was taken home from the hospital. Jack drove me since Sune had to stay with the kids and since he couldn't drive yet. He had regained about eighty percent of the mobility in his legs, but he couldn't count on them. Not enough to drive a car.
Jack opened the door to the car and lifted me up into his arms. He carried me inside and carefully put me on the couch.
"Thanks, man," Sune said and placed a hand on Jack's shoulder. "She told me on the phone how you saved her life."
"No problem," Jack said and looked at me with his head tilted. "Now promise me you'll stay out of trouble. I can't spend all my time rescuing you."
I smiled, hazed. "I ain't making no promises."
"All right. I have to get back to work," Jack said, shifting on his feet. "I'll be in touch."
He left, and Sune sat down in the chair next to me, letting go of his walker. He sighed and grabbed my hand in his.
"You scared me today," he said.
I nodded. "I was scared too. Of losing Julie. Heck, I still am, terrified." I felt tears pile up in my eyes. "Where is she, Sune? What have they done to her? It's all dark out; why isn't she home yet?"
"I’m sure she'll be home."
"It's late, Sune. Do I have to go through an entire night without her? How? How am I supposed to do that?"