"I'm just saying you should be glad I wasn't a dick. I'm not saying you have to thank me, but surely you realize I did us both a favor."
Laughter erupted out of me. He had to be kidding. "A favor? Of course. Why hadn't I seen it before? Rejecting me was like getting an extra slice of birthday cake. I'm so glad you stopped things when you did." I stood up angrily, no longer worried about the people sitting around us.
Gripping the handle of my carry-on suitcase, I stomped away, much like a child threatening to run away. What a bullshit way to justify what happened between us that night. He basically told me I wasn't worthy of having sex with and then wanted to tell me he did me a favor. I walked past the filled rows of seats to stand by the window. In the reflection of the glass, I saw that someone had taken the empty seat I had vacated next to Alec.
Stubbornly, I remained by the window until the boarding of our flight was announced. The first rays of the sun were beginning to peek through the horizon, filling the sky with delicate shades of pink and creamsicle orange. My actions felt more and more childish the longer I stood there. Regardless of our history, I had to figure out a way to make it through this trip. Olivia had been right. This wasn't high school.
Thirty minutes later, I probably would have jumped from the plane without a parachute if given the chance. A hard thump hit the back of my seat, jolting me for about the hundredth time since we had taken off.
"Johnny, please stop kicking the poor lady's seat."
"Nooooooooo," Johnny bellowed, making several passengers turn to look at the offending row where he was currently tormenting his mother.
"Sorry. He's just excited to be flying," Johnny the Kicker's mom said, peeking between our seats.
"It's fine," I said, flashing her a tight-lipped smile. Alec shook with silent laughter. Without thinking, I swung my foot out bringing it smartly against his shin.
"Damn, woman," he said, rubbing his shin. The way Johnny's mom gasped, it sounded like she may have thought Alec was talking to her. Regardless, it was enough to make me smile.
Alec leaned in conspiratorially to whisper into my ear. "You know you could tell her it's not okay?"
"Or you could just switch seats with me," I said out of the corner of my mouth.
"Not on your life. Johnny might find himself strapped to the wing of the plane if we did that."
I couldn't help snorting with laughter, nearly losing my iPad from my lap.
"What are you working on?"
"Nothing much. I planned on starting the sequel to Wicked Lovely, but my brain is refusing to cooperate. I'm never very productive when I have a lot going on. I should probably resign myself to the fact that I won't get any writing done for the next few weeks," I said, closing my iPad.
"How many books do you write a year?" He stretched his long legs out in the limited space.
"I seem to be averaging one every four to five months start to finish."
He whistled through his teeth. "Impressive."
"That's nothing. I have friends who release more than that. It makes my head spin sometimes. Readers seem to love it though."
"I guess I didn't realize books were produced that fast. I feel like I have to wait forever for some of my favorite authors to put a book out."
"That's traditionally published books. They tend to move slower because of the way they fill their release calendar. Indie-published authors have the autonomy to release whenever they want." The conversation felt odd. We were talking like we were friends.
He held out the bag with the remaining doughnut inside. Unable to deny my hunger any longer, I accepted it and made him grin when I devoured the tasty treat in two bites.
"Impressive," he said, crumpling up the bag.
"Sorry. I really was hungry. Thanks."
"So, is that why you decided to indie publish, so you can release whenever you want?"
I shrugged, licking the glaze off my fingers. "Partly. At first I was too impatient to try the traditional route, but I wouldn't say no to an offer now. I've always been one of those people who wants something as soon as I've made up my mind. I'm an instant gratification kind of girl." I regretted the words the moment they left my runaway mouth.
Even Alec sat in silence. Probably pondering what he thought was a hidden meaning in my explanation. I opened my mouth to clarify what I meant when an object flew over the seat hitting him in the side of the head.
This time his curse words were more colorful and an octave louder.
"Do you mind?" Johnny's mom asked, glaring at Alec through the seats. "My son is young and impressionable."
"He's going to have a Spider-Man shoved up his young impressionable ass in a minute," Alec mumbled under his breath as I handed Johnny's mother the offending action figure. It was refreshing to see Alec flustered since it was normally me embarrassing myself when we were together.
By the time we landed in Nashville an hour later, both Alec and I were long past ready to get off the plane. We were both up and out of our seats as soon as the pilot turned off the fasten seatbelts sign. In hindsight, it may have been a better idea to let Johnny and his mom go first, because he screamed the entire way down the narrow aisle.
"I now know of another good use for duct tape."
"Wow, tell me how you really feel about kids." I was teasing of course, but Johnny had been enough to drive anyone batty.
"Hey, don't get me wrong. I like kids, but that one was like the reincarnation of Chucky."
"You're comparing a screaming kid to a freaky killer doll? He wasn't that bad."
Alec shot me an incredulous look as he walked purposefully through the terminal. "Were you just on the same flight as me? That kid made my sperm run and hide in fear. He was a walking, screaming endorsement for safe sex, or better yet, abstinence."
"Well, that shouldn't be a hard stretch for you." It was a catty comment, but I couldn't seem to help myself. I was fine having a normal conversation with him, but bring up the word "sex" and my inner bitch showed up to the party.
"Would it help if I let you punch me in the nuts?"
Not sure I heard him right, I stopped in the middle of the terminal, causing several annoyed passengers to go around me. "What did you say?"
"If I let you punch me in the nuts, will you forgive me for leading you on? I'd like to be friends with you, Nicole, but I don't think that's possible until you've had your revenge. If that means I take a shot to the nuts, so be it."
"You're willing to sacrifice your jewels to be friends? Is it even possible for a man and woman who almost slept together to be friends?" We stepped back into the flow of walking traffic after an aggravated man dressed in a business suit tripped over my rolling suitcase.
"Sure, it's possible. Don't you have any male friends?"
"No," I answered, trying to keep up with his long strides toward baggage claim. "Are you telling me you have female friends? Females you haven't slept with? And I'm not talking about the girls your buddies are dating."
"Yeah, one, and we're going to be together for the next three weeks, so wouldn't it be nice if we could manage to get along?" he cajoled, turning his devastating smile to the full-wattage setting.
"You shit." I smiled in return. I knew he was right. It was time to bury the hatchet. The night he'd rejected me may have been the most humiliating night of my life, but it was time to let it go. "Fine, but no smiling at me like that. It's a sex-on-a-freaking-stick kind of move, and since that's not an option, you might as well save it for the women you'll actually sleep with." I followed Alec down the escalator, pulling my wheeled suitcase with me.
"Sex on a stick? What is that supposed to mean?"
"Trust me, it's a thing. I might as well add no winking to the list too."
He grasped his chest like he was in physical pain. Two flight attendants going up the opposite escalator openly checked him out. "What's wrong with winking?"
I had to be blushing by now, but I figured what the hell? I'd already put myself out there. "Not all wi
nking. Just your winks. They're worse than your smile. It's a clear invitation to jump your bones."
"If you say so," he said, chuckling.
We made it downstairs and joined the crowd of people around the luggage carousel that was starting to spit out our bags. "Would you have really let me punch you in the nuts?"
An elderly couple waiting for their bags looked at us with interest.
Alec nodded at them before reaching out and grabbing my suitcase as it made its way around the carousel. "If that's what it took, but I hoped you wouldn't take me up on it. I don't want to sing soprano."
"Well, don't think you're in the clear. Your nuts are safe as long as you stick to our agreement."
"I'd listen to that gal of yours. She looks like she can pack a mighty punch." The old man clapped Alec on the back, laughing at his own comment as he wheeled his large suitcase away.
"Wise words," I said, pointing to Alec's own suitcase as it passed us by.
Chapter Ten
Being friends with a guy like Alec was like being friends with a movie star. Anywhere we went women openly admired him, gawked at him. Hell, the bravest of them even offered him their room keys. Just like the previous event in Orlando, most of the women had no shame in asking him for pictures or kisses or to sign their boobs. That actually happened more times than I would have expected. Through it all, Alec remained a good sport, and much to my annoyance, seemed to be enjoying himself. He was a male after all.
I knew a majority of the attention had to do with where we were. The Romance Lovers event lived up to its name, attracting all the big-name authors, many of whom had been in the business forever. Most of them had dozens of titles under their belts, giving them a loyal and dedicated reader base. Women walked through the hotel sporting T-shirts and tote bags with their favorite book covers. Needless to say, Alec was an overnight sensation.
Sitting across from him after he had been asked to sign yet another woman's cleavage, I couldn't help feeling disgruntled. Alec, on the other hand, looked like a cat that had swallowed the canary. He shoveled his eggs in his mouth with sparkling eyes.
I frowned at him over the rim of my mug of coffee. "You know, you don't have to look so satisfied."
"What can I say? I'm a dude. Who am I to deny the ladies?" His face started to spread into a devilish grin, but he humored me by looking down at his plate as he dipped his bacon into the syrup runoff from his pancakes.
He looked up to find me clearly astounded at the amount of food he was consuming. Besides the eggs, bacon, pancakes and hash browns, he also had a bowl of oatmeal that he planned on finishing.
"I work out a lot," he said with a mouthful of pancakes. "I blaze through calories. Are the events always like this?"
"I'm not sure. This is the first time I've gone to this particular event. It's definitely grander than the few signings I've done in the past." My voice hinted at the insecurity I felt being here.
"I noticed you don't seem very comfortable here. Is it still me or something else?"
I shrugged. "No, it's not you. After all, we decided to bury the hatchet, right? I like seeing everyone at the events, and there's no denying these are my kind of peeps, but meeting new people always freaks me out. You've seen me. I can become awkward even when I'm comfortable. I prefer small settings that are less overwhelming.
"Then why do the big events?"
I sighed. "To put myself out there. Indie publishing is a dog-eat-dog kind of business, and I've only been at it a short time. I'm still building a readership."
He nodded his head, polishing off the last of his bacon. "Makes sense. You know, I could help you."
"Help me?"
"Yeah, to be more open. You know, relax a little. I'm good at that kind of stuff."
My mind automatically went to the gutter. He could absolutely open me up. I had no doubts about that. I tried to shake the image of him and me, minus the clothes, up in the room. A couple hours of that and I'd be ready to take on any event. Go figure, after my lecture to him about boundaries and everything he wasn't allowed to do, it would be perverted me who had the nasty thoughts. Like his luscious lips trailing down my neck, past my collarbone ...
"What do you think?"
"I'm sorry," I said, shaking my head. "What was I thinking? I mean, what did you say?"
He looked at me like my sanity was in question. It wasn't the first time. I was used to it by now. "Would you like my help?"
"Uh, sure," I finally answered. I had to stop fogging out like that.
"Don't sound so enthused," he teased, signaling the waitress for the check.
"I'm just not sure you know what a lost cause I am. My tongue refuses to work at the oddest times, and I suck pig's hooves when it comes to talking about my own books. Olivia has been trying to help, but even she's said I'm pretty much hopeless."
"Pig hooves?"
"Yeah, hooves. You know, since pigs don't have toes."
He chuckled. "Yeah, I know, but who says that? You crack me up with the off-the-wall things you say. I like it." He smiled warmly. It wasn't sensual like the smile he pasted on his face during the book signings, and yet, something inside my stomach coiled with awareness.
"Gee, I'm glad my weirdness has your seal of approval."
"Are you always so hard on yourself?"
"What do you mean?" I asked, reaching for the bill. He grabbed it before I could get my hands on it. "Hey, what are you doing?"
"I'm not comfortable having you pay for everything."
I laughed. "Don't be ridiculous, Alec. It's all part of the job. This is a business expense."
"Maybe so, but my ego takes a hit every time you pay for something."
"I'm sure you have plenty to spare," I joked, sliding my credit card into the holder for the waitress.
He rolled his eyes, but elaborated. "Look, my dad was old school. It was ingrained in my head at an early age that a gentleman always pays."
I smiled. The sentiment was cute, but old fashioned. "Well, unfortunately, you're working for me, and I cover the expenses when we travel. Including the astonishing pile of food you just devoured and our adjoining hotel rooms."
One thing I found curious was the way he referred to his dad in the past tense. I realized again I didn't know anything about Alec's life. Being naturally nosey by nature, I could people watch like nobody's business, so of course I wanted to ask him, but I couldn't bring myself to do it. It felt too personal.
"So are you?"
"Am I what?" I asked, not remembering his question.
"Always so hard on yourself. It's just that in the past twenty-four hours I've seen you put yourself down at least a dozen times. Is it just a ploy, or do you really feel you lack in all these areas?" His question was pointed and serious, making me uncomfortable. I wasn't sure I was ready to be analyzed.
"An attention-seeking ploy? Yeah, right. Obviously, you don't know who you're talking to. I don't like attention enough for that. Besides, aren't we supposed to acknowledge our faults and embrace them?"
"Only when it's healthy. Your fascination with putting yourself down borders on emotional mutilation."
I snorted as the waitress handed back my credit card. "Emotional mutilation? You sound like a doctor, not a bartender."
His eyes lit up in amusement. "That's good since I'm premed. Believe it or not, I don't have aspirations of flirting for tips tending bar and modeling forever. Not that I don't appreciate the gig," he said, raising his cup of coffee to toast me. "It's just a means to an end." He stood up, reaching out a hand to help me to my feet.
"No shit? Like a surgeon or something in that capacity?" My knowledge of the medical field was limited to watching Grey's Anatomy. I had binged watched the show so much I felt I could be a doctor.
"That's the end goal. I haven't decided on a specialty yet, but I have plenty of time for that. I was forced to take some time off and now I'll be starting medical school in the fall."
"Wow, I had no idea."
"Surpri
sed that this face has a brain?" He looked pleased that he had shocked me. I smiled, pulling out my agenda for the day from my purse.
"You said it, not me," I laughed. "All kidding aside though, I think it's great."
He peered over my shoulder. "What's on the schedule first?" His breath skated across my cheek and his mouth was so close to the side of my face that if I turned my head slightly my lips would have touched his. It was such a tempting thought that I had to dig my fingernails into my hand to resist.
Trying to regain some of my self-control, I shifted slightly to avoid another of my embarrassing slips. "We have the Dream Model panel Olivia was able to get us on last minute. That's in thirty minutes, but nothing else until the Hunky Ball tonight, so the afternoon is yours. I'd rest up since they'll be auctioning you off." I tried unsuccessfully to hide my grin. I'm not sure how Olivia had talked him into participating, but it was bound to be entertaining.
"I think I'll just tag along with you. You don't mind, do you?"
"Are you sure? It's bound to be boring for you. I was going to catch a few panels and then have a late lunch with some of my blogger friends."
"Works for me. Since I'm your friend and all, I should fit right in."
I saw no viable argument with his reasoning. It was his funeral. He had already experienced how women at these events could be relentless when a hot guy was around. I sucked my bottom lip into my mouth, gnawing on it lightly as I racked my brain for an out. His eyes moved to my mouth and he licked his lips. Interesting. He may not have wanted to sleep with me, but he was definitely still paying attention.
Alec, of course, charmed his way through the day with all my friends. I didn't know why I was surprised anymore. Maybe it was the bartender in him, but he was a born chatterbox and had no problem holding his own when the conversation repeatedly turned to books. I was surprised to learn that he enjoyed reading almost as much as me. Not that he read much romance, but we did share the same interests in several of the same authors.
True to his word, Alec followed me around the entire time. Where originally I thought his presence would be oppressing and uncomfortable, I found myself engaging in conversation with him anytime we weren't in a panel or surrounded by a group. He was charismatic, funny and easy to talk to. The secret voice in my head called him perfect. I tried to ignore that voice and instead, dredge up the hurt he had caused me, but my heart refused to go there anymore. Alec had won it over. The barrier of insecurity that his rejection had caused that night still remained, but I wanted to tear it down. I couldn't do it alone. Alec would have to give me a vivid sign that he was interested.