Page 7 of Incurable Hearts


  When she put it like that it did sound outrageous.

  “I shouldn’t have come.” I said standing up to leave. She didn’t deserve to know that she is losing me forever. This is why I had stayed away all these years.

  “That is right, walk away. What. See you in another ten years?” she shouted across the pub. I turned to face her.

  “Not likely mother.” I said and walked out of the pub. I got into the car and drove back to the house, once again locking the past in the past. Choosing to spend the weekend resting ready to continue working until I can’t manage it no more.

  As I was trying to eat my lunch and keep it down, I was scanning over the designs for the new range of lip glosses, Jenna walked in carrying a massive bouquet of flowers. She looked just as shocked as I as to who would send me flowers, this had never happened before.

  “These were just delivered to reception for you, beautiful aren’t they.” she said, leaving again when I didn’t reply.

  The aroma flooding my office from them was lovely. I read the card that was attached in the middle.

  ‘It’s common knowledge’

  Call me

  Christopher

  So, I wasn’t the only one who gathered information about someone. I didn’t understand, he was so mad that I had done that and then he goes and does it himself. It had been over a week since I had seen him, a week that I had got myself back together. There wasn’t any point, I didn’t need the stress of someone in my life and he certainly didn’t need the stress of having me in his life.

  Although, he had gone to the trouble of sending me flowers, not cheap ones either by the looks of them. Maybe I should call him – I mean I did have a good weekend with him, it wasn’t all bad and the sex was amazing. NO! You can’t Jasmine, back to work. I didn’t want to be looking at his flowers for the rest of the day so I took them back to Jenna and told her to dispose of them, quickly snatching the card back, the card I would keep. I hid it away in my purse.

  Returning back to the lip-gloss designs I forced myself not to think about him, I had made my decision now it was time to put it into practice. I made it through the rest of the afternoon solely focusing on my work. I looked up and saw Jenna getting her things ready to leave. She came into my office to collect the designs.

  “Have you reached a decision?” she asked looking at them.

  “Nearly, what do you think?”

  I had never asked her for her opinion before but I wanted to see what she thought, see what she would choose. She took her time studying each design – that is good, not hastily picking any old one.

  “Hmm…I would go with the black and hot pink ones, they are more eye catching than the other ones,” she said professionally. She had chosen the same as me. Interesting.

  “That is exactly what I was thinking. In the morning have them sent off with our approval.” I said. Yet again she stood there shocked.

  “Um, you always send things like this off yourself.” she stuttered.

  “I know but I am asking you, and I will be late in the morning so I would like you to take my place meeting with the supplier in London.” I said.

  Now she definitely looked like she was going to have a heart attack.

  “Sure, no problem. May I ask why you are giving me this opportunity?” She asked.

  I could sense my mood slowly evaporating. I wanted to scream BECAUSE I CAN! But I said,

  “Because I might not be around the office much over the next few months and I want to know you can handle it. I will be around just not here.” I explained.

  She looked even more confused now but she was excited at the prospect of the responsibility I was giving her.

  “Thank you Miss Collins.” she said before leaving with a smile wider than the Cheshire cat.

  As always I was the last one to leave the building, passing the cleaners, past the night security and out into the cold October night. Henry wasn’t holding my door open as usual, in his place was Christopher leaning against my car. I wasn’t sure if I wanted it to be the brain tumour or the sight of him waiting for me that made my legs turn to jelly and my heart beat like it was trying to escape my chest.

  “You didn’t call,” he said as I got closer to him.

  “I haven’t got your number.” I lied.

  “What, it isn’t in your little folder?” he asked mocking me.

  “I got rid of that last week.” I lied again.

  In fact it was at home in my drawer with the black mask he wore to the ball, oh the memories of him wearing it and later that night, wearing nothing but the mask, yes snippets of that night was slowly returning to me. He pulled himself away from the car stepping closer to me.

  “That is a shame because I have me a folder of my own.” he said producing it from his back pocket to prove it, “I am sorry about how I acted last week, come for a drink with me so we can talk.” he asked.

  “I can’t.” I said.

  There was nothing more I would like than to go for a drink with him but like I thought earlier, what is the point?

  “Please, just one drink and then you can have your Henry whisk you away.” He begged.

  Half of my instincts told me to get in the car and go home, the other half was screaming for me to go with him.

  “Only one drink.” I said getting into the car waiting for him to join me.

  Henry drove us to the same pub we went to when we first saw each other again. When he opened the door for me, he lowered his voice hoping only I would hear.

  “I’ll be waiting here for you Miss Collins.”

  I smiled welcoming his concern for once. This drink would go either one way or another, either we would see each other again after tonight or I would never see him again.

  Christopher went to take hold of my hand but I pulled away, his touch would be too much for me to handle. I hadn’t made my mind up about him. I did let him open the door for me though and pay for our drinks. We sat in the furthest corner away from everyone, he wasn’t dressed in work gear, he was wearing dark jeans with a black shirt, and the look suited him.

  “I really am sorry about last week, it was a shock. It is not every day you find the women you just slept with has a folder full of information on you.” He said sipping his pint.

  I suppose he had a point but if he thought he was going to get an apology he was very much mistaken.

  “I didn’t have it so I could go all stalker on you, I only wanted to see if I could find out who you are, why I recognised you. You were never meant to see it,” there I said it, which was as close to an apology he was going to get from me.

  I waited for him to speak. I didn’t know what the hell I was going to do let alone say.

  “You were right, I don’t know who you are anymore but I would like the chance to find out,” he pleaded.

  “That is not a good idea.” I whispered into my drink.

  He was sincere enough, he came across like he really did want to get to know me again but how could I tell him there was no point as I wouldn’t be around to know in a few months or even weeks.

  “Why? We had fun last week,” he said.

  I thought about it for a few moments.

  “Look, I don’t have the time.” I said knowing he would think it was because of work not because of lack of life.

  “I’ll bet you don’t. You said you ran your own company not a global high in demand fucking empire.”

  “Why would I tell you everything, we were only meant to spend the weekend together.” I said defending myself.

  “I never intended that would be the case, your different. I admit, after I left the hotel I was angry, I couldn’t believe you had that folder on me. I spent the next two days thinking non-stop about why you would do that. It wasn’t until I was researching you on the Internet and saw who you actually were that I started thinking maybe you done it to protect yourself. And then Hayley saw your products and then pulled them out of her make-up bag thing. She actually had your products,” he said like he
couldn’t believe how well I had done for myself.

  “Oh so, you saw how rich I am and thought I was worth your time even though I had that stupid folder on you?” I snapped trying not to get too angry.

  I knew this would happen, why did I agree to this drink? I should have known better. I haven’t made my millions for some money grabbing man to seduce me for it.

  “Jas, when I first saw you again in this pub I knew I wanted to see you again, I didn’t know if Henry was your fella or not especially when he went all bodyguard on you. I still chased you not knowing anything about your money.”

  Once again Christopher had a point. I laughed at the memory of what it must have looked like to Christopher having Henry come to my rescue then drive me off.

  “It’s complicated, I am complicated.” I said.

  It was a weak effort on my part to warn him away.

  “It’s as simple as we make it,” he replied still fighting his corner.

  He must have seen I was considering it as he continued to jump in for the kill,

  “Let me take you out, one night, just me and you.” He said.

  I shouldn’t but I wanted to, the way he made me feel so alive was exciting and refreshing. It wouldn’t hurt to spend one more night with him, I wouldn’t have to tell him anything, I could have fun and I still get to be in control, playing it to my advantage.

  “Okay,” I said, “One night, make it count.” I added.

  His smile grew to extreme depths. He moved from the stool and sat beside me, this time I didn’t pull away when he went to hold my hand.

  “Are you free this week?” he asked eager to see me again.

  “I have to go to London tomorrow, I will be back on Thursday afternoon, so Thursday night is good for me.” I said.

  Looks like I am going to London after all. I don’t want him thinking I am a push over.

  “Thursday works for me.” he smiled down at me.

  “So, what did you find out about me on the internet?” I asked picking his folder up of the table.

  It was mainly printed articles, pictures of me at functions – the one of us both at the masquerade ball was included – and a list of where my offices are. There wasn’t a lot about my private life in there, I have been very private over the years making sure I was never in the media too much.

  “Not a lot about who you are, only about your career. For someone who has done so well I am surprised none of us knew about it.”

  “It is not like I shouted it from the rooftops.” I said.

  “You have offices all over the world, how come you stay in Cambridge?” he asked.

  I wasn’t sure he would understand my reason but it was so easy talking to him and he didn’t judge me about being nervous to go to the club last week, so I gave him the benefit of the doubt.

  “I may not associate with anyone here but it is my home, it is where I grew up.” I said opting not to tell him the whole truth.

  He looked at me as if I were mad, I could work anywhere in the world and I have for the last ten years but being in Cambridge makes me feel comfortable. I couldn’t tell him I came home to die.

  “How come you are still in Cambridge?” I ask trying to flip the conversation back onto him.

  “I have never thought about leaving. I left college and started working. All my mates are here, my family. I like it here.” he said as I looked at him, “Okay I see your point…I wasn’t lying about wanting to get to know you, there is something about you that intrigues me.” he said.

  Uh-oh, this wasn’t going to work for me if he wanted to do the whole getting-to-know-you-dating rather than the lets have-a-laugh-and-hot-sex types of dates.

  “I am really not that interesting.” I said not wanting this line of conversation to carry on.

  “I better get going, I will call you about Thursday.” I said trying to get away from the barrel of questions I knew he was dying to ask me, he stood up when I did and followed me outside.

  “Does he wait for you where ever you go?” the way he asked me was as if I forced him to.

  “Yes, it is his job. He is paid very well for it. I will call you when I am back.”

  I put an end to that line of conversation, he wasn’t going to make me feel bad for living the lifestyle I have. He didn’t release my hand when we got to the car, he looked awkwardly at Henry who had opened my door, Henry noticed and got back in the car giving us our privacy.

  “Thank you for agreeing to see me tonight.” he said leaning down, his face hovering in front of mine making sure I wasn’t going to back away, he placed his lips on mine, it was over too quick but the passion in it was pure ecstasy. I couldn’t form any words so I got in the car to save myself from saying something embarrassing.

  Henry was about to pull off, when Christopher got my attention. I lowered my window,

  “You haven’t got my number,” he said.

  “It's common knowledge.” I replied laughing closing the window before driving away.

  I knew Henry was itching to say something but he was holding off, I let him stew until we got home and I couldn’t bear it no longer.

  “What is it Henry?” I asked as he pulled up outside my house.

  “It is not my business Miss Collins but I think he is good for you at the moment, your smile is radiant, we don’t see it a lot.” he said and then got out of the car to open my door.

  I hadn’t realised I had been smiling. I reached up and touched my mouth just to make sure I was.

  “So do I” I agreed, “Why don’t you show me how the extension is coming along.”

  I was having the extension built to house a swimming pool on the ground floor nothing too extravagant, with stairs leading up to a small gym. I was disappointed with how little work had been done, Henry wasn’t happy about it either.

  “I have given them one month to catch up and be on schedule. Twice last week I turned up and no-one was here, they had left early,” he told me.

  My anger that normally would have erupted at this point didn’t come. I was still reeling from being with Christopher.

  “No, they have two weeks. If they can’t do what I am paying them to do then they’re gone. Have someone on stand-by just in case.” I said, okay so maybe I was still feeling my old self. Henry gave me a wink and walked off.

  I headed to my bedroom hoping Rose would have tidied the mess up in my room, I didn’t see her when I came in but my dinner was left in the oven. Of course, my clothes were back on their hangers and the perfume bottles that broke had been replaced and were placed neatly on the vanity table. I got the folder out of my drawer and retrieved Christopher’s number and stored it in my phone. I sat on my bed wondering if I should text him so soon. After a few minutes of thinking what to text him, I went for it.

  TOLD YOU IT WAS COMMON KNOWLEDGE. JAS.

  I didn’t have to wait long before my phone beeped and his text came through,

  SO IT IS MISS COLLINS. MISS ME ALREADY? C. X

  This time, I didn’t need to touch my mouth to know I was smiling, I could feel it. I did sort of miss him, I wasn’t going to tell him that though and he put an X at the end of his message, maybe I should have too? No Jas, you can’t lead him on. It is not fair on him. A selfish part of me wanted him till the day I died, everyday and all day but the saner part of me knew it wasn’t right to feel like that. I told myself a couple of days and a date on Thursday to flirt and have fun wouldn’t hurt either of us.

  HARDLY! JUST LETTING U KNOW I HAVE YOUR NUMBER SO YOU DON’T HARESS ME AT WORK AGAIN. JAS. X

  I hit send and wait eagerly for his reply. I didn’t have to wait long.

  LOL. CAN’T WAIT FOR THURSDAY. C. X

  Nor could I. It crossed my mind to still let Jenna deal with the London trip on her own and stay here, the idea quickly vanished when I thought how that would look to him if he thought I was chasing him.

  SAME. ILL CALL U WHEN I AM BACK. JAS. X

  I began to panic. I had to find a way so I could see him wi
thout either of us getting in too deep. My phone beeped at me again.

  NIGHT. TRY NOT TO DREAM ABOUT ME. C. X

  ILL TRY. NIGHT. JAS. X

  Part Two…Christopher

  I woke before Jas again this morning, I called down to reception and had two glasses of orange juice and some aspirin sent up. My mouth was dry and felt like I had been eating dirt all night. Jasmine lay sleeping peacefully, she didn’t even stir when the man arrived with room service. I didn’t want to wake her just yet so I reached for her laptop I saw in her case. I loaded it up and checked my Facebook, I had a couple of messages from the lads telling me how lucky I am to have pulled a stunner like Jas and they couldn’t believe she liked me back. I quickly put Jasmines name into the search box to see if she was on Facebook but she wasn’t. Hayley had posted photos from last night, as I was flicking through them Jas began stirring.

  I would be shocked if she didn’t have a killer hangover today with the amount she drank last night. She couldn’t even sit up when she tried to see what I was doing on her laptop, everything was going well until she saw the photograph of her sitting on my lap, I admit it was a bit naughty to post it but I couldn’t see the harm in it, there wasn’t anything too racy about it. She completely flipped out, she even rang that Henry to comb the Internet for any other photographs of her. I had only spent a couple of days with her and I was already struggling to keep up with her mood swings, they changed so quickly. She grabbed her clothes and disappeared into the en-suite. I got out of bed to put the laptop back in her case, she had said she was going to disappear on me again tomorrow morning so hopefully she would have calmed down when she came out. She had quite a few folders in her case but the one that caught my eye was the one with my name on it. What? I laid the laptop down and picked up the folder eager to see why she had it.

  I couldn’t believe what I was reading, she had a lot of information on me, where I lived, who I worked for, where I even went to school for fuck sake. As she walked out of the en-suite she saw the folder in my hands.