I need him.
I need him so desperately in my life. He was the one who showed me what true love is all about, the ups and downs, the pretty and the ugly. I’ve seen it all with him.
Lost in my thoughts and my tears, I don’t hear the sound of footsteps climb my stairs or the sound of the door opening and shutting.
I only feel the dip of the mattress and the smell of his cologne.
Shooting up, I sit up and wipe away my tears as I turn to find Stryder on the end of the mattress. He’s freshly showered, his dark hair still wet, his face smoothly shaved. He looks impossibly sexy, and his blue eyes, clear as the sky, mesmerize me all over again.
“St-stryder, what are you doing here?” I wipe at my eyes and my nose, trying to hide my heartbreak. I need to be strong, because even though a part of me wishes and hopes he’s here for me, I know he still has a lot of items in my apartment that he needs. That’s probably all he came for.
He studies me before standing and rounding the bed to sit next to me. His strong hand finds my cheek where he swipes his thumb across what I can only imagine is a very red and swollen face.
But I don’t care. I lean into his touch, my eyes fluttering shut, my senses soaking in all that is Stryder, committing it to memory.
He doesn’t say anything. He gently caresses my cheek, allowing his touch to soothe my shattered heart. But I need to know why he’s here. I can’t let myself get attached. I can’t allow him to crush me even further, so I pull away.
Staring at the blanket, unable to look him in his soulful eyes, I say, “Why are you here, Stryder? If it’s for your stuff, please just take it and leave. I need you to make this as painless as possible, because I’m not sure how much more I can take.”
He shifts on the bed and my heart sinks to the floor, more tears rising only to fall over onto my cheeks. He’s leaving.
It’s a possibility I knew that could be true, but actually letting it sink in has me wanting to curl up on my bed and block out the sound of him packing up the rest of his things.
I lie back on the bed and pull the covers over my shoulder, unable to watch him move around the apartment one last time. I shudder quietly as I hear him move, the sound of shoes clunking on the floor. Why would he be so cruel to come for his things while I was here?
This is my low. The lowest I’ve ever felt.
His parting words repeat over and over in my head.
Loving you was my greatest sin.
Loving him was my greatest mistake. I gave him everything, every last inch of my mind, body, and soul. A part of me wants to beg and plead for him to stay, but I know deep down, there is no use. Waiting on him to see his worth, to see the way he’s changed my entire life, is useless.
He’s made up his mind.
So when I feel the bed dip and the familiar feel of his body molding around me, I almost don’t notice it until he twists my body around and hovers above me.
Those eyes, peering straight into my soul.
That smile.
His arms, protecting me from everything around us.
I lose it. I cover my face and let out a pent-up sob, emotion wracking my entire body.
“Shhh,” he coos into my ear softly. “It’s okay, baby. I’m here.”
Another sob, my body shaking and shuddering from the sound of his voice.
“I’m sorry,” he whispers, rubbing his nose against the side of my face before he kisses my cheek, letting his lips capture each and every tear. “I’m so sorry.”
In between sobs, I say, “Please tell me you’re staying. I can’t take it if you leave me again. I’m not . . . I’m not strong enough, Stryder.”
“I’m here to stay, baby. I’m all yours.”
My breath hitches in my chest as I try to catch . . . as I try to understand what he’s saying. “All of you?”
He nods and presses his forehead against mine, cupping my cheek at the same time. “You get all of me, baby, every last piece of my heart, of my mind, and of my body. I’m yours for the taking if you’ll have me.”
I cry-laugh and bring his lips to mine where I press a light kiss across them. “I want you. I need you, Stryder, and I don’t want to ever lose you again.”
“You won’t. I promise,” he says, his husky voice hitting me hard, the promise so strong in his conviction.
“And Colby . . .” I hate to bring him up, but I have to know.
“All worked out, Rory. Nothing you need to worry about.”
“This is it? You and me?”
“Just you and me.” His hand goes to my hips where he pins me to the mattress and crawls over my body, his large frame eclipsing me. I welcome his warmth as I spread my legs, making room for him.
He groans as his lips smooth across mine, nipping.
“I’m not saying it’s going to be easy,” he adds, moving his lips down my neck. “It’s likely I’ll be re-stationed to another state at some point, but I promise you, if that happens, I’ll make it work. I’ll visit you as much as I can. And when it comes time to re-station, I’m putting in for Schriever or even the smaller base on the Academy with the hopes that I can stay here in the Springs. I’ve got four years left of service, but after that, we can do whatever the hell we want.”
“Four years with a possible re-station . . . are you sure you’ll still want me?”
He lifts his head and presses his palm against the mattress to prop himself up. “I’m not only going to want you, but I’m going to need you.” He reaches down into his pocket and pulls out a small velvet box.
My eyes widen. Is this real? Is he really going to ask me . . .
He takes a deep breath, nerves eclipsing over him.
“I love you more than anything, Rory. You were there at my worst, you saw the ugly man I could be, but you’ve also seen the good in me, the potential I have to be a better man. You’ve stuck by my side as a friend and as a partner in this crazy life. I can’t imagine walking another mile in this journey without you by my side.” He opens the box to a glittering solitaire diamond. “Make me the happiest and luckiest man and marry me.”
There is no doubt in my mind what I want as I throw my arms around his neck and bring him to my lips as I say “yes” over and over again.
Tears stream down my face as we clumsily place the ring on my finger, our lips smashing together, our clothes being peeled off at a rapid pace, unable to get close enough to each other quickly enough.
Hovering above me, naked and so damn beautiful, Stryder presses the tip of his cock against my entrance, biting down on his lower lip as he says, “I’ve missed you so fucking much, Rory.”
I move his hips so he’s forced to insert himself inside me. His length stretches me in all the right places as I spread my legs wider.
“I’ve missed you, Stryder, but now you’re mine, forever.”
“Forever,” he repeats, his hips rotating, the muscles of his chest flexing, the cords in his neck strained.
His mouth finds mine and as he moves in and out of me. I found my soul mate, the man who makes me a better human whenever he’s around. I’ve found my person, my match, my forever. I’m so incredibly lucky.
Right now, with Stryder inside me, loving me, making me his forever, I feel like a brand new person. No matter what comes our way, we will thrive together as we lean on each other.
The downside of love is heartache and uncertainty, but the upside of falling is finding an everlasting love that will carry you through a lifetime of happiness.
Life is full of chances. Opportunities. Challenges. But it’s what you do with them that counts. I took a chance on love . . . twice. Opened my heart. Allowed two men to share something I now know is special. Me.
In their love, and in different ways, I found myself. Grew in confidence. I’m more than a dancer, more than a sister, more than a friend. I let go of one love, knowing he needed to soar. My heart, my soul, knew who it ached for. Yearned for. Needed to love. So I’m glad I was willing to take my chances, because
my prize is this man. This wonderful, inspiring man who I will love forever.
Epilogue
COLBY
“Dude, I think it’s time to call it a night,” Bent says, clapping me on the back.
Head bent forward, I bring my tumbler to my mouth and take another sip of my rum and Coke. “Nah, not ready.”
“It’s midnight.”
“I understand the time of the night . . . Mom,” I snap, taking another sip.
“Watch it,” Bent shoots back. “I have a squadron I’m responsible for. We may have the day off tomorrow, but that doesn’t mean you can waste it with a hangover. I need you in prime condition at all times, Flyer.”
“Life isn’t always about flying.” I down the rest of my drink only to have Bent spin me around and pin me against the bar, his face inches from mine.
“Life is about flying when you’re a goddamn fighter pilot for the United States Air Force. You have a responsibility to protect and to serve, to put service before everything else. So get your ass off this stool and to the car.”
He hits me hard with a stare, one that tells me if I don’t move he’s going to take his lecture a step further, a step I don’t want to witness.
Grumbling to myself, I lift off the stool and turn toward the bartender where I pull out my wallet to drop a couple of twenties on the bar top.
I stuff my wallet in my back pocket and turn toward the front door when something—or someone—catches my attention out of the corner of my eye. Tucked into a booth to the side is a very familiar face I haven’t seen in a long time. I know that face, but from where?
I watch, staring at the woman with fear in her eyes as the man in the booth next to her speaks aggressively to her.
What the hell is going on? And how do I know her . . .?
I start walking in her direction when Bent catches me on the shoulder. “What are you doing?”
“I know her,” I say, pointing to the beautiful woman in the booth, the one who’s slowly trying to back away from the man.
“Are you sure?” Bent asks.
“Pretty sure.”
The man flings his arm in her direction, only just missing her face as he spouts off some obscenities.
“You know her or not, I have a feeling you’re going to step in.”
Damn right I am.
As I approach from behind the man, the woman’s eyes float to me, her face contorting in shock and then . . . gratefulness.
I get closer and closer trying to pinpoint where I know her from. That heart-shaped face, those mischievous eyes, her pretty lips. Ryan?
But her hair is brown.
I’m standing a few feet away when I interrupt the man and say, “Ryan?”
“Colby, I’m so glad you made it.” She scoots all the way out of the booth and saddles up next to me, wrapping her arm around my waist.
Slightly drunk and unsure of what’s happening, I put my arm around her and say, “Sorry I was late.”
“Late?” the guy asks, standing from the booth, the vein in his forehead popping in my direction. Christ, this guy is ready to fight. Thank God I have my guys a few feet away.
And just as I think of it, from the corner of my eye, I see Bent, Colt, and Rowdy step closer in case the guy decides to charge at me.
“I was trying to tell you for a while. I’m getting back together with my ex. I’m sorry.”
His eyebrows come together, his eyes narrowing. “Your ex? You’ve got to be fucking kidding me. When did this start? Have you been cheating on me?” He moves a step forward, and I put my hand out to stop him. He swats it away, and that’s when all my boys step in, putting up a protective wall, towering over the fucking weasel.
In his no-nonsense voice, Bent says, “Take one more step toward her and see what happens.”
“Best you move on,” Colt adds with his long Texas drawl.
The douche eyes all of them, assessing their height and weight and realizes he’s easily not only outnumbered, but if he makes the wrong move, he’s going to get his ass handed to him.
Backing away, he waves his hand in the air, dismissing us. “Peace out, bitch,” he says, making his way out of the bar just as Ryan lets out a long exhale.
Bent turn towards us and says, “We’ll wait for you in the car and make sure the dickhead actually clears the area.”
“Thanks.” I nod and then turn to Ryan. “Your hair is brown.” It’s the first thing I say to her, the only thing I can think to say.
Not responding, she pulls me into a hug and holds on to me tightly. I feel her breasts press against my chest, her hair tickles underneath my chin, and her feminine scent floods me, making me feel a little uneasy . . . because I like it.
When she pulls away, she grips my biceps and says, “You just helped me out so much. I can’t tell you how thankful I am.”
“Uh yeah, not a problem.” I grip the back of my neck.
“Let me buy you a drink to thank you.”
“I’m actually on my way out.”
She bites her lip, which is painted in a bright pink. “Hmm.” She looks around and then says nervously, “Give me your number. I’ll make it up to you somehow.”
I reach into my pocket, pull out my phone and unlock it, then hand it to her. Smiling at me, she enters her phone number into my phone and then texts herself.
“There.” She hands me my phone. “Expect a text from me.”
“Come on, Flyer,” Colt says, leaning his head back in the bar.
I nod at him to let him know I’ll be right there. “Got to go. It was good seeing you.”
“Yeah, you too . . . Flyer.” She winks and takes off toward the door, her pert little ass swaying behind her.
I scratch the side of my jaw. That was weird. But I can’t get the curve of her smile out of my head.
Expect a text from me.
Why do I feel like I just stepped onto a ride I’m not fucking ready for?
Acknowledgments
Four years ago, I was watching the Thunderbirds perform over the Air Force Academy stadium during graduation. I remember sitting on a blanket, up on a hill, wondering what it would be like to be one of those pilots and that’s when the story started to form.
I came up with this idea for a story, this strict and scheduled hero with a one-track mind who meets this persistent and caring woman that throws his life for a loop. It was such a good idea that I proposed it to my agent at the time, I wrote the first three chapters with a synopsis and we pitched it to publishing houses. One came back with so much interest that I thought, this was it, this was my break. Unfortunately, she passed and said she loved the idea, but my writing was still immature at the time.
So I tabled the idea.
And I worked.
A few months ago, when I was in a Jazzercise class—yes, Jazzercise, the idea struck me again. And I knew it was time to bring this story to life. I was confident in my writing and my ability to handle this emotional journey. That’s how The Upside of Falling and The Downside of Love came to life.
But not without some much needed assistance.
Thank you so much Dani Sanchez for not only sitting down and figuring out all my plot holes with me, but bringing me into your bosom when I started to get sweaty and neurotic over this duet. It wasn’t easy, I know, but I appreciate your constant support and encouragement.
A huge thank you to Mike, my go to “brain” for all Air Force knowledge and for the plotting ideas. You really helped this story come to life.
To my models Travis and Alexa, thank you for putting up with my weird demands and “costume” changes. You two made these covers! And to Leticia for creating these beautiful covers.
Thank you to Marion, Nancy, and Virginia for your superb editing and proofing and for working so hard on these manuscripts.
Thank you so much Tijuana Turner and Michelle Sheruda Routhier for being two of the best beta readers a girl could ask for. I was really nervous about incorporating some heavy topics and you helped hold my
hand through it all. I’m so grateful for you two.
Shout out to Sara Ney for being there when my head was stuck and I couldn’t think of how to solve the problems in the book, your crazy texts really helped me through some jams. I adore you.
To my Bitch (Jenny) You are a rockstar and took on a huge undertaking and did it with such ease. Thank you for always being my number one fan. I love you!
To my review crew – what can I say, your passion for this duet has been overwhelming. I love you all so much, even your threats and theories and crazy GIFs. You make me want to write every damn day!
To my MOFOs, you pretties are the best bunch of readers an author can ask for. Thank you for your constant support, messages, and sweet camaraderie. My readers ROCK!
Finally, thank you to Steph, my rock, for taking care of our son while I’m working hard in my office. This is all possible because of you!
Thank you for reading The Blue Line Duet! I hope you enjoyed them! To be the first to find out about when new books are available for pre-order and go live, click here. And don’t forget to add me to your TBR!
COME HANG OUT WITH ME! Join my reader group for weekly giveaways and fun. Click here.
The Blue Line Duet
(An epic romance with many twists and turns)
The Upside of Falling
The Downside of Love
The Dating by Numbers Series
(Adventurous dating series full of laugh out loud moments and very heated scenes)
Three Blind Dates
Two Wedding Crashers
Back in the Game
One Baby Daddy
The Binghamton Boys Series
(Full of heart, humor, and heat and some HOT CONSTRUCTION WORKERS)