“I have no choice but to...” I replied as the tears began to drop. Rage fully consumed me. I wanted vengeance for this!
She left then, returning all feelings and control all at the same time. Once again I fell to my knees and refused to scream aloud. Aries was nearby; I wasn’t sure he’d hear or not with the wind screaming as well, but it wasn’t worth it. I could do this. I was chosen to handle the burden, and I would handle it. Already I could feel the tendrils that connected me to the earth. I could now judge how much I needed and where to send it. It seemed as if my skull would implode, but I was learning, slowly. I could slow the rush and control the amount that I needed. There was just so much of it.
Wind was a bit trickier; there was no connection, and it was wild and free and uncontrollable. It wanted to be released, to fly freely, unbound. I called to the spirit, urged it to obey me, commanded it, and gave it no choice. This was mine, and it belonged to me. I stood once more, finding my feet.
The earth became silent and lay once more dormant as well inside me. The wind tried one last time to flee, but I snapped it back and closed off the outlets. There was no path for it to follow anymore. Wind raged at me inside, begged for its freedom. I promised in time; I promised it vengeance. It gave up as well and returned to slumber along with earth. I felt the animals nearby startled by this and yet they knew me. I was not to be angered for sure, but I was one of them. There was something inside me that called to them.
I fell to the sand as my body gave out. It could take no more without rest.
“Sen!” Aries cried, running to Angel.
He’d never seen anything more beautiful. She was his all-powerful goddess. No one else could claim her. How could he in the end? Was she meant to belong to him? Could he keep her?
Or would she leave him. It would kill him if she no longer needed him.
He scooped her up, trying desperately to ignore all the blood. She was pale as a ghost and looked so brittle and broken in his arms.
His fangs dropped, and he roared. She smelled like heaven. His mouth watered at the sight of all the fresh blood bountiful before him. The beastly creature within sharply inhaled and Aries eyes glazed over, sparkling blood red. The monster shivered in pure delight but refrained, barely, from tasting even a drop.
Aries fought for control. This perfect woman belonged to him, and he would not harm her.
“Give her to me. The smell no longer bothers me, Aries.”
Aries turned towards Sen and growled in denial. His fangs were flashing. She was his, at least for now. He’d control the animal side of him one way or another. If this were all the time he had, he wouldn’t waste it. He stared Sen down letting him know that she belonged to him.
He had never seen her quite this messed up before. It had taken more out of her than ever before. She had a gray tone to her skin as he wiped the blood away.
Sen had stayed downstairs to give them some time alone. He just wasn't sure they had it in them to do this. Could she fight when her own body was tearing her apart? Could he stand by and allow her to? Why couldn’t it be him?
CHAPTER SEVENTEEN
I first realized I was awake when the pain consumed me again. It was tamer than before, and I was able to keep it to myself. My breathing was labored but evening out. And my heart was throbbing madly, but it too was returning to normal. My body felt as if something had clawed its way out. My muscles were clenching up and my teeth chattering.
I couldn’t move yet, but I knew with time I’d heal. I needed a hot bath. I sensed Aries nearby but not touching me. I opened my eyes and desperately sought him. He looked grim. That answered one question. I looked as bad as I felt. I smiled weakly at him. It was all I could do. If I said anything, it would probably turn into a moan or groan.
“Don’t do that!” He growled and jerked himself off the bed, to pace the small room.
“Do what?” I croaked.
“Hide it from me. I can feel your pain. Don’t think you can get away with suffering in silence. I wish I could take it from you but no amount of begging or complaining will change this. So if you must endure the pain alone then don’t hide it from me, I’m not a child, I can handle it.”
“Oh really? Wasn’t that you bashing your fists into a damn wall last time? Or was I hallucinating, because if it was Switch or Cross, my imagination is going into overload along with everything else. I can’t control much, but I won't have you suffering on my behalf. I’m strong, as well. I need you, not you beating things up every time I get hurt. Take it out on the enemy not the surroundings.” My voice rasped, but I got it out. I needed an ice cold glass of water.
Aries had stopped when I had first come back with my retort, and just stared. Now he put my face in his hands.
“I’m doing it again, allowing my anger to control me. You need me, but I’m acting like a fool.”
“No,” I said sitting up, wincing when I bent, and pain sliced through my midsection.
Aries was instantly on the bed again, wondering where to put his hands.
I rolled my eyes and pushed him back, so that he was lying down and I could curl up into his arms and let him hold me. I kissed his neck. Aries sighed, apparently giving up.
“I need a hot bath to work out some kinks, alright. I got a problem, though...”
“What’s that?” he asked, looking down at me.
“I need you to run the water and then go downstairs.”
I heard a little growl start, but when he saw my expression he rolled his eyes and got up carefully. I heard him start the water, and ten minutes later he was standing in front of me.
“Can I at least carry you in there?”
I had tried to stand while he was gone, but had not even managed to sit up again.
“Why not...” I told him, hoping to save myself some pain and placate him too.
He swept me up from the bed and had me in the bathroom before I could take a breath. I then gave him a look that he obeyed. He set me down, waited for me to gain my balance, and left.
Sighing, I started painfully undressing.
The bath was steaming but felt great. Twenty minutes in it had most of my muscles relaxed and me back in a normal mood.
The images that Kali had showed me still haunted me. I could never share that with Aries, whether he had ever seen them or not. He tried to protect me so much and when he failed he got all moody on me. He couldn’t protect me from this. It was my job to see it didn’t happen. I would not fail my people. I just couldn’t.
The water got cold so I turned the hot water on only to see it float instead of fall.
The faucet groaned and then ruptured right in front of my eyes. I let the stopper out and jumped from the tub. The water went down the drain, but the faucet was ruined. The water pressure had pushed it right out.
It seemed as though another power had manifested. The water ran in funny little circles around the tub and then amazingly enough it tried to flow up instead of down. I laughed and tried to capture some kind of control over it again. I managed to get the water to stop and then hurried to my room.
I dressed as quickly as I could and headed back downstairs unsure how long I could hold it at bay. For all I know it had resumed flooding the bathroom as soon as I’d stepped from the room.
I found the two guys chatting in the living room.
“Either of you good at shower maintenance?” I asked as I fell into a seat.
“I guess it depends on the item in need of saving. Did you practice in the shower too?”
Aries didn’t laugh as he headed upstairs.
“Angel?” Sen began.
“Yeah?” I asked stretching a little.
“You’re approaching that point where I stop being Master and become equal instead. I can only help you to maintain where we are now, or focus when you falter. You have graduated my student. No one in all my years has ever come closer than you have to bypassing me. You are barreling by like an unstoppable Mack truck going downhill.
??
?You will have to learn to listen to the life around you now, plants, animals, and insects, fish. They can teach you as well as the spirit inside you and me. Their energy is yours now if you can harness it.
“Remember that these entities are alive like you and I. Don’t tap their essence and destroy them. I’ve seen others do this and become greedy with power. As a witch and goddess, you have a bigger responsibility, because it will come so much easier. They are Gaia's children too, and I have a theory their pain would be your pain.”
“I understand.”
“You may come down now Aries, I am done,” Sen called. Aries had been waiting patiently for a cue I assume.
“I am going outside for a few minutes. Try this one with nature,” I called. I figured it would be safe and relaxing.
I walked outside, hearing Aries talk to Sen about what I had said. I moved off to the edge of the woods and sat down. I then decided to lie down. It still hurt in my ribs to be bent.
I began my chants that started my meditation. I summoned all my chakras and hummed.
After relaxing all of my body and before descending into myself I focused on my surroundings letting one sound at a time enter. I heard a squirrel chatter and sent my searching tendril outward. I at first didn’t notice anything. Then I felt her emotions and saw colors. She swirled around facing me and became curious as to what was in her opinion someone trying to communicate. I sent happy, free thoughts back at her, before I realized what I was doing. She chattered some nonsense about having lost her winter cache of nuts.
I smiled at her naive childlike spirit. She was like a toddler amazed with so much and thought everything was a playground. A male squirrel caught her attention, and she bolted quite close to him, and me. She wiggled her tail flirtatiously and gave him her back. The male noticed her and started towards her curious. My female friend dove straight up her tree to a low branch. She chattered and barked to let him know the chase was on.
I followed her for several minutes until she found the hidden stash where she nearly fell out of the tree. The male, confused, stopped and stared at the multitude hidden in a large knot halfway up the tree. He considered a taste, forgetting completely about the pretty female.
She was now angry and refused to share. She ran him off and quickly became the chaser. I laughed so hard that I lost my concentration.
I refocused on a butterfly.
At first I thought I had failed, but then I realized the butterflies feeble mind was instinctual to the point that there were really no thoughts. I dug deeper and found the creature was only able to communicate based on colors and smells. Sight was a blurry mass of light. Colors told the bug where to go. A particularly vivid blue caught its attention. I left the butterfly to explore and found a massive oaks aura almost by accident. It didn’t have many senses, the ones it had were super enhanced, though. It was telepathic. Its thoughts simple and seemed largely of rest, the last wind had depressed it. It considered itself old and weak.
It wanted to be larger and stronger. I showed it a picture of what I saw from the outside.
A burst of pleasure went through the huge tree, followed by pride and an appreciative thought. I welcomed it and moved on to a flower.
It was concerned with how pretty it was today on a very small level, and wanted the bee to immediately vacate the premises. It had been stepped on two days ago and was trying to fluff out the wounds it received. I felt sorry for it and decided to apologize.
“What is taking her so long Sen? She should’ve come out by now,” Aries said worried. He held Angel close to his body. She was cool to the touch. He pushed hair out of his way so he could see her face.
“My first time soul wandering I stayed eighteen hours. If I had not stretched beforehand, I would have been stuck. As it was my legs locked up. It took some time to work the cramps out afterward,” Sen told him looking worried as well.
“I had been more prepared than Angel and had emptied my bladder. Five hours should be long enough; I will find her if I can,” Sen explained. He wanted to offer him some kind of assurance, but the truth was this was dangerous.
“If?” Aries growled. He took on a territorial expression.
“Sorry, I forget your intense feelings for her,” Sen apologized. She was going to need a warrior who could control himself no matter what he faced. Aries had to learn some.
Aries watched him relax and close his eyes. He held her as close as he could and waited as patiently as he could.
Chapter Eighteen
I felt a different, keener, intelligence among the doe and mine. She had been curious about me and feared that I’d harm her while she was nursing her twin fawns. The babies worried for their warm mother and her milk.
“Angel, it’s time to return,” my Sensei called.
“No, it’s peaceful here. There’s so much to learn and no responsibilities or pain. Time is endless here Master. Leave me be...”
“I can’t, and you cannot stay. How old do you think I am?”
I ignored him.
“My body is young, but I’m really several thousand by my best estimate. I stayed submerged the first few hundred years, more than I was awake. Until one day, I realized how much I had grown. My body had continued aging, and my life was halfway gone. Time passes by slowly here and what seems merely minutes is really hours. Your body will cease to function, and your mate and friends would die. I don’t even know that if your body died you could stay. I have plans to find out, though. There have been rumors of stealing the bodies of animals before actually dying. I do not wish to make these entities homeless. If my soul wanders here after my bodies death, then I’d never really cease to be would I?”
I listened, even while I sought out more.
“Did you know all life has thought?” I asked.
“Angel, I have only been able to speak to the animals, were you able to speak to plant-life and insects?”
“Yes. They move by instinct more than anything. Some are even vain by our standards.”
“Do you remember Kali and your destiny?”
“Unfortunately...”
“Will you abandon mankind so easily?”
“This was merely a test wasn't it?” I asked getting angry. Why would he torment me so?
“I wasn’t sure if you could do it. I was really worried that if you had an out, one where even Kali couldn’t persuade you, that you might do just this. Aries is beside himself. Once again he can’t help you. Did you know you could join him, his thoughts just like this?”
I thought about it and realized he was right, my heart longed for my mate, and I could feel his desperation and panic and felt immediate regret. I was hurting him and did not wish that.
“I will come, let me say goodbye to my friends.”
“They have no concept of goodbye. They would only think you pranced away to find some other joy. They don’t even know you’re human.”
I felt saddened by this but agreed to follow him. I would say goodbye for myself, though.
“Sen?” Aries called from beside Angel’s prone body.
“Give her a minute. It's hard at first to leave. She is also Gaia’s descendant so I think she feels some affinity with the wildlife.”
“She spoke to the animals?”
“Yes and somehow to the plants and insects, something even I can't do, at least yet...”
“How much longer?” Aries asked for the hundredth time.
“Not much, the sense of time there moves a lot slower. So what is a minute to her is ten or twenty here.”
They waited, and as soon as she opened her eyes Aries snatched her up in a tight embrace.
He had begun to think she’d given up.
“Ooi...” I yelped. I was stiff, and had to majorly pee. It felt as Aries had squeezed a bit out.
“What’s wrong?” Aries asked leaning back to search my face.
“I need a potty break, but I love you too!” I scrambled from his lap after finally finding my legs, which had fallen asleep.
>
I rushed to the guest bathroom. I stumbled the third step or so but regained my footing knowing if I went down I’d run out of precious time. I had never felt so much relief from urinating before. I sighed, but deep down felt that it was worth it. I would do it again really soon.
“Mother... as much as I liked our experience just now, the old man is right. I felt compelled to stay, and that could be very dangerous for all. Please refrain from that delightful exercise until later. With my powers of earth, you will learn to control the time, you won't have to meditate, and soul wander.”
“Soul wander?” I asked out loud. It was weird having someone in the bathroom with me while I used it.
“Out of body experience, I think is what it is called in your time. Similar to your deja vu as well, which is more French I think.”
“I know. How long before I could learn that?” I asked.
“Soon....” she whispered before leaving again.
I finished washing my hands and returned back to the guys.
It was almost dark by now, and I could sense Switch come alive. When he slept it was like he was dead. I asked him why he slept one time. He said it was because he was used to it. He loved sleeping and felt that he shouldn’t have to give it up, as well. Besides the sun hurt less when he shut down and drowned everything out. His room had only one window which was blocked.
I felt the tension leave my body when I touched Aries again. I realized that while gone
I had been too distracted to feel anguished over not being with Aries. I think it was mostly physical anyways. There was a slowly healing hole in my chest, though; that told me it wasn’t completely physical. He trailed kisses over my face and neck, which caused jealous feelings in Switch and triggered memories in Sen.