—
Claire fell to her side, her body throbbing with a delicious ache. She closed her eyes, just taking in the sounds of Nigel’s harsh breath at her back, the smell of sex that floated around them. His scent was all over her, would remain a part of her always, she knew, now that she bore his mark.
He moved in behind her, his arms wrapping tightly around her. His sleek body lay flush with hers in the silence. Claire sighed, savoring the tranquility of the moment.
Silence was okay. Silence was good. No words were necessary after the claiming they’d just shared.
She relaxed into his strong embrace. Closing her eyes she sank further into him and for the first time in her life she wasn’t restless, she felt a strange peace steal over her.
Nigel’s even breathing told her that he’d dozed. Claire gently kissed the arm thrown across her chest and let the sound of his slow, even breaths lull her to sleep.
Chapter Seven
Nigel awoke to the smell of coffee, the delicious aroma luring him from sleep. He shifted his head on the pillow, inhaling deeply. Claire and sex slid through his heightened senses, and his dick stirred. He rolled onto his back and laughed, flinging his arms out to the sides. Four times he’d taken her last night, and apparently he was ready for a fifth.
There had been no slow and easy lovemaking; all four times had been wild and heated. He wondered if the desperation for her would ever fade. It was almost as if, having been denied for two years, the wolf within was greedy and afraid of losing his mate again. Shaking his head, Nigel stretched and rose from the bed. Not bothering with any clothes, he walked into the kitchen, leaning against the door jamb to watch her, much like he had yesterday morning.
He decided he loved the sight of her moving around the kitchen. The way her ass moved beneath her long t-shirt was poetry in motion. He cock roared to life as his mouth watered.
“Hold on there, big boy.” Claire’s voice brought his eyes from her ass to her face.
She turned to him. “You have to let me have my coffee first.”
He smiled and cocked an eyebrow as she threw her hands up and backed away. Bad, bad Claire. She knew retreating from a wolf invited a chase. She thrust a large mug toward him.
“Try this. It’s an Italian blend I’m thinking of carrying at the café.” Nigel relented and took the coffee. “Of course I’m trying to add a few more of my own ingredients to strengthen the blend.” He was having a hard time concentrating on her words when all he wanted was to be back inside her where he belonged, but he could back off for the moment. And the coffee did smell pretty damn good.
Claire moved around the small table and sat down, “So what was so important that your Dad sent the boys to come and get you yesterday?”
Nigel figured he needed to follow. The last thing he wanted to do was discuss Pack politics and the Law, but she was bound and determined to have the conversation, and he knew deep down that she deserved to have her mind set at ease.
“He wants me to take over the Pack. Seems to think that I was meant for the job all along.” Nigel shook his head skeptically and took a sip of the excellent coffee. He wasn’t any more convinced about all the Alpha shit today than he’d been last night.
“Congratulations.” Her tone was slightly acidic and nowhere near sincere.
“I’m not doing it, Claire. I don’t want to be head of the family.” He watched the tension ease from her body. “But there are things we need to talk about, Luv.”
She nodded soberly.
“We need to talk about Taylor.” Her face clouded over, but before Nigel could make a move to finally, finally comfort her, the phone rang.
Claire smiled apologetically and answered it. After a brief conversation she hung up.
“Jose burned his hand on the oven. Rio is taking him to the hospital, so I have to get there.” She stood and leaned in, kissing him deeply. “We’ll talk tonight, Nigel. I promise.”
———
Nigel loped through the thick forest, his strong limbs carrying him over fallen trees and under dense brush. He’d been in wolf form for most of the morning, savoring the simple, straightforward existence of the beast. No thought was necessary. He lived on instinct.
Instinct led him to the small private cemetery located in the middle of the Pack’s vast property. He stopped at the edge of the tree line, troubled. Lifting his muzzle he tasted sorrow in the air, so deep and profound it was a living thing surrounding him. The scent was so strong Nigel whimpered, shaking his head and trying to shed the despair that seeped through his fur. Unable to stand it another second, he threw his head back and howled. Long, wretched howls that were soon joined in harmony by another, two wolf songs forming a chorus of sadness and longing.
When the song faded, Nigel moved cautiously from the edge of the trees and into the meadow that held the dead. His eyes narrowed as he spotted the wolf lying on his brother’s grave. The white timber wolf lay on his belly, muzzle resting on the cold granite that held Taylor’s name.
He willed the transformation over himself as he stalked toward the other wolf. By the time he’d reached Taylor’s grave, it was a man on his knees facing him.
Nigel didn’t say a word as he took in the sight of James LeCroix, Pack Enforcer and friend, looking up at him with such anguish his eyes were like bleeding wounds. He didn’t try to hide his sorrow, and like the dawn clearing away the remnants of night Nigel finally understood just what sacrifice his brother had made for the good of the Pack.
“Did he cheat on Claire?” he spoke slowly, evenly, not trusting himself to do more than that.
James’ head had drooped, but he looked up with a trace of fire in his eyes at Nigel’s words. “Taylor was an honorable and faithful mate to Claire.”
“Did she know about you? About you and Taylor?” Bile burned his throat as he asked the questions.
“He would not have mated her otherwise. When you left, Taylor went to Claire and told her everything. She knew what we meant to each other.”
“Then why in the Hell did he mate her?” Acid coated his stomach and his anger began to boil over. Anger at Taylor for trapping Claire in a loveless mating. Anger at Claire for agreeing to it. Most of all, anger at himself for leaving and trapping them all in a situation where there could be no winners.
“Goddammit, why the Hell didn’t Taylor tell someone who he really loved? And why would Claire go along with a mating that was a sham?”
James stood up, facing Nigel, his face a mirror reflection of Nigel’s wrath.
“Why? You really have to ask why, Nigel? He did it for the same reason you left. For the same reason you didn’t claim Claire for your own. He did it for the Pack. The Law. The Alpha has to produce an heir. That was something I couldn’t fucking give him.”
James’ eyes were tormented. “You want to condemn Taylor, but you’re no better.”
The accusation stung, but Nigel refused to be diverted.
“Yeah, I gave up Claire to uphold the Law. Maybe that makes me a coward. But I never pretended to be someone I wasn’t. Taylor was Alpha, he had the power to change things.”
James crossed his arms over his wide chest.
“Really.” His eyes plainly stated that he thought Nigel had a lot to learn. “I can just see it now: ‘Hey, Dad, guess what? I’m gay! So sorry I won’t be producing the next heir to the throne, but hey, what do you think of calla lilies for my commitment ceremony, and how do you feel about adoption?’” James smiled pityingly. “Yeah, Nigel, that would have gone over real well.”
Put like that, it did sound ridiculous, but Taylor had been a natural diplomat. If anyone could have changed the Law he could have. There was no official position on gay wolves. Same-sex mated pairs were treated the same as any other couple. The only wolf whose mating was constrained by rules was the Alpha, and only then because of his responsibility to provide strong heirs for the Pack.
“Fine then. He couldn’t tell our father. So why the fuck didn’t he tell me?”
“Why would he, Nigel? You were in a less rigid position, but you refused to fight for the woman you loved. Why the hell would he expect you to support him when he told you he didn’t want to marry a woman at all?”
James’ handsome face was marked with bitterness. “Neither of you had the guts to try and change things. You believed what you were doing what was best for everyone. For the Pack. For Claire. Well, so did Taylor. You can’t put this on his shoulders alone. You stand right next to him where blame is concerned.”
Nigel scrubbed his hands over his face, then dragged his fingers through his hair. A deep sense of shame filled him. For two years he’d held such animosity for his big brother because Taylor had everything in this world Nigel didn’t. The truth was, Taylor felt every bit the same pain he did. They were both denied their true mates by an outdated custom meant to hold the Pack together. Instead it was tearing the Pack apart, keeping people from creating lasting bonds with the ones they loved.
Nigel gave a weary sigh. His father had said that the Pack was ready to move into the twenty-first century. He’d even hinted that it was time for changes in the Pack, time for someone—presumably Nigel—to shake things up.
Nigel just wondered if he were up for the task. It would be a long, uphill battle against traditions and prejudices that had held firm for centuries. But perhaps, with Claire by his side…
Oh, God. Claire. She’d given herself to him completely, based on his assertion that he had no desire to be Alpha. She believed she’d mated herself to a common wolf, the Alpha’s son, but no more than an Enforcer. Nigel cringed as he felt all the trust he’d gained from her crumble to dust.
He faced James, his heart squeezing at the anguished hope in the younger man’s eyes. Reaching out, he clasped James’ forearm.
“Damn, man. I’m so fucking sorry.” He looked beyond James, dropping his eyes to Taylor’s grave. “Blind obedience to the Law has cost too much from too many.”
James returned his grip. “I hope this means you’re ready to shake things up.”
Nigel gave a razor-edged smile. “I’m going to do my bloody best.”
He released the other man, allowing him privacy to grieve. Changing back into wolf form, he set out for Claire’s cafe. He and Thomas were going to have a long overdue talk, but first Nigel had to prepare his woman.
—
Thomas Rhodes and Colby Simmons had taken up residence at one of her tables just after the lunch rush. Claire cast a curious glance at her former father-in-law and his Enforcer. The men didn’t look ready to leave any time soon.
She shook off the vague uneasiness their presence stirred up in her. Nigel was hers now, not the Pack’s. She didn’t have to stress out just because his father came to visit.
Nigel said he had no intention of taking Taylor’s place as Second to Thomas, and she believed him.
Feeling confident and comforted, Claire headed toward the men, coffee pot held up inquiringly. Before she could verbalize the offer, though, the little bell above the door jingled cheerfully, and she felt Nigel enter the café. She shivered as his presence washed over her, and turned a spontaneous, joyful smile in his direction.
He returned her smile, but it didn’t quite reach his eyes. Claire felt her confidence start to crumble.
“You look like a man who needs coffee,” she commented, determinedly upbeat.
He quickly crossed the dining area and caught her against his body, imprinting his hardness against her softness.
“I’m a man who needs to feel his mate,” he corrected, bending to brand her with a kiss that curled her toes in her sensible sneakers.
“What’s wrong, Nigel?” she asked when he finally let her up for air. Rio, back from delivering Jose from the hospital to his apartment, swooped by and grabbed the coffee pot with a grin.
“Nothing’s wrong, Luv.” His golden eyes were sober, but calm. “Things are just a bit more complicated than I’d expected.”
Claire felt a lump form in her stomach. The wonderful life she’d dared to imagine sharing with Nigel was taking on jagged edges.
“Complicated how?”
“Yeah, Son. Complicated how?”
Claire had been so focused on Nigel she hadn’t noticed Thomas’ approach. Nigel apparently had, because he didn’t flinch at his father’s hearty question.
“Can this wait, Dad?” Nigel’s eyes didn’t leave Claire’s. What she saw there was a deep core of strength she’d only guessed existed. He looked like a man who’d found his mission in life, and the thought of what that mission might be terrified her.
“Now, Nigel,” his father answered, ignoring the charged atmosphere as Nigel still held Claire in his arms. “We’ve been waiting two years for this sort of complication. Don’t you think you’ve kept us waiting long enough?”
“Fuck.” Nigel muttered the word quietly enough that, had the room not been full of wolf shifters, no one but Claire would have heard it. As it was, Colby snorted out a laugh, which he quickly converted into a fairly believable cough when Nigel pinned him with a pointed glare.
“Fine, then.” Nigel stepped back, but didn’t release Claire entirely. He kept her hands gripped in his own almost as if he needed her to anchor him.
“Claire Marie Andrews Rhodes, I love you with all that I am. I’ve been dead inside without you, and I never want to go back to that existence.”
As declarations went, Claire thought, it was pretty stellar. Unfortunately, he wasn’t done.
“I’ve learned today that I’m not the only one who walked through life dead inside. We, both of us, have been hostages to the Pack, imprisoned by the Law, Claire.” His eyes glowed deep amber, bathing her with almost enough warmth to melt the block of ice forming around her heart. “But we weren’t the only ones.” Nigel raised his head to address the entire café, which was filled, Claire belatedly realized, with wolves.
—
Nigel took heart at the look in Claire’s eyes when he declared his love. What he was about to do would devastate her, he had no doubt. Claire had been deeply hurt by the Pack, and to add insult to injury, they didn’t even realize it. He could only pray their love was strong enough that she would truly listen to what he had to say. That she would believe in him, trust his word that things for them would be different than her life with Taylor.
“Two years ago I walked away from this woman because according to the Law, she was forbidden to me. Two years ago my brother, your Alpha’s successor, participated in the Mating Run because according to the Law, it was what he must do. The Law states your Alpha must produce an heir. If Taylor had followed his heart, he could not have done that. So instead of living a fulfilled life with the man he loved,” Nigel paused for the inevitable gasps and murmurs, Claire’s included. He could almost hear the questions in her head: How had he found out? Who had told him?
“Instead of living a life with the man he loved, Taylor tried to salvage a tragic situation, mating with Claire, being her friend even though their hearts were both given elsewhere.” Showing his first hint of insecurity, Nigel let his gaze flicker uncertainly to hers.
“Yes,” she whispered shakily. “Even then you held my heart.”
“If either Taylor or I had possessed the courage to stand for what we wanted two years ago, my brother might be alive today, and our Pack would be that much stronger. But we did not. Now it falls to me to correct the mistakes of two years ago.” He shot his father a speaking glance. “To atone for the mistakes of thirty-five years ago.”
He fell silent, and an expectant hush filled the café. Thomas stepped forward, standing in front of Nigel to address him in formal tones.
“Nigel Nicholas Rhodes, will you accept position as Second to the Alpha?”
“I will.”
“Will you guard and guide the Pack as father, spouse and leader?”
“I will.”
“Will you put the welfare of the Pack above your own?”
Nigel could feel Claire’s indrawn breat
h. He only hoped she remembered that she was Pack. By making this vow, he was pledging to put her happiness and well-being above his own forever.
“I will.”
Nigel knew, from her stifled sob, that Claire had only vaguely grasped the significance of what he’d just promised. Tears trembling on her lashes, she jerked free of his hold. With a sinking heart, he watched her back warily away from him as though he’d become a monster before her very eyes.
The Pack erupted in cheers, the joyful noise all but obscuring Claire’s whispered words. Nigel, his eyes glued to her face, heard.
Chapter Eight
“No.” Claire didn’t realize she’d said the word aloud until she saw the pain flare in Nigel’s eyes.
“Claire, Luv,” he took a step toward her, hand outstretched, but she pulled quickly away.
“No.” Her voice was stronger now, and the tableau she and Nigel presented was beginning to penetrate the boisterous celebration surrounding them.
“I do love you Nigel, but I will not do this. Not again.”
“Now, Claire,” Thomas moved to her side, putting an affectionate arm around her.
Claire jerked from his grasp.
“I gave up my life for the Pack once without complaint,” she began, only to have Thomas interrupt.
“Of course you did, my dear. And you were a wonderful mate to Taylor, just as you’ll be a wonderful mate to Nigel.” Nigel’s flinch at his father’s words would have been humorous if he hadn’t just ripped her heart out.
“I won’t do it again.” She said the words flatly into the now-silent room. “I was miserable for the year Taylor and I were together, and I’ve been beaten nearly to death during this last year trying to reclaim my life. I will not live that way again.” Turning to face Nigel was the hardest thing she’d ever done. “Not even for you, Nigel. I love you, but if I were to give up my life for you the way the Law demands, that love would wither and die until there was nothing left but bitterness.”