“Oooh.”
“Bloody Mary had dripping red tentacles, glowing red eyes, and she lurked at the very way bottom of the deepest, darkest ocean tank. She was a creature the color of blood.”
“Is this true?” asked Riley.
“Vampire squids are strange monsters of the deep. What do you think Bloody Mary ate?”
“Fish?” asked Olivia.
“Shark meat?” asked Hannah.
“Hermit crabs?” asked Riley.
“Only if they were dead. Bloody Mary ate only dead and rotting things — eyes and legs and tails and poop, carcasses and corpses, and snot and other gunk that sank to the bottom of her tank.”
“Is that true?” asked Riley.
“Cross my heart,” said Miss D. “Vampire squids have two long filaments like arms, which they use to reach out and grab dead stuff floating in the sea. Then they slime it with mucus and eat it all in one gulp.”
“Stink,” said Riley. “Would you rather get squeezed by a giant Pacific octopus or get slimed by a vampire squid?”
“Shh!” said Stink.
“Then one night — they say it happened during a sleepover —”
“Like this one?” asked Webster.
“On a night not unlike tonight, Bloody Mary stretched out her long filaments to grab some yummy fish eyes and zap! ZZZZZ! She stuck a filament into an electrical outlet outside the tank, and she was changed forever.”
“What happened?” Sophie asked.
“Frankensquid! She grew two heads, multiple arms, and opened only one eye. True to her vampire nature, she began thirsting for the blood of the living and the undead.”
“No way is that true, right?” asked Stink.
Miss D. shrugged. Her eyes glowed in the dim light. “Who’s to say?”
“Then what happened?”
“Searching for blood, she slithered out of her tank and across the slippery floor of Sharks Ahoy, where a group of kids were sleeping. Just as the kids were about to get slimed, they woke up and shooed her into a dark room, slammed the door, and locked it, trapping her inside. No one has seen her since she disappeared behind that very door.”
“That’s why it says keep out?” asked Stink. Miss D. nodded.
“D is for Don’t Go Behind That Door,” said Sophie, shivering.
“So if you see a red glow coming from under a door, do not open it: Bloody Mary is on the prowl and strange things can happen.”
“Like what?”
“A chill wind blows, but no window is open. A phone rings, but nobody is there. Some say that on sleepover nights, you might hear the ghost of Bloody Mary the vampire squid moaning and groaning.”
Stink shivered. Webster wiggled his wobbly tooth.
“If you look into her eyes, she’ll turn you to blood and drink you up.”
The kids fell silent.
“Unless . . .” Miss D. went on.
“Unless what?” asked Stink and Webster at the same time.
“Unless you can say Bloody Mary three times fast!”
“Bloody Mary, Bloody Mary, Bloody Mary,” the kids said super fast.
“And that is the story of Bloody Mary,” said Miss D. “Now, who wants waffles?”
“Bloody Mary, Bloody Mary, Bloody Mary,” Stink whispered one last time, just to be on the safe side.
Webster took one last bite of his waffle. Sophie mopped up the last of her maple syrup.
“How can you guys even think about waffles at a time like this?” Stink asked.
“A time like what?” Webster asked.
“Hel-lo! Bloody Mary? I’ll never be able to sleep now. Not in a million years.” Stink scooched closer to Sophie and Webster.
Just then, Miss D. made an announcement. “It’s been a great night, everybody. But this is a sleepover. Time to join your group or family. Let’s all get some shut-eye.”
Stink shivered at the thought of trying to sleep, in the dark, with sharks. Not to mention Bloody You-Know-Who.
“One of our staff will be on call all night,” said Miss D. “If you need anything, talk to the person at the info desk.”
“C’mon, Mr. Crab Cakes. Time for bed,” Sophie said, then yawned. “Stink, where is your family set up?”
“Not far enough away from that door,” Stink said. “Go up the ramp, turn left, and they’re at the other end of Sharks Ahoy.”
Suddenly, the aquarium felt a lot darker. Gurgling and burbling sounds coming from the tanks seemed a lot creepier.
Clumps of families and kids in sleeping bags were already asleep on the floor of Sharks Ahoy. Mom, Dad, and Judy were playing a game of Go Fish.
“Did you have fun?” asked Dad.
“Yeah, until Bloody Mary,” said Stink.
“Bloody who?” asked Judy. Stink pointed to the KEEP OUT door at the other end of Sharks Ahoy. He told Judy all about the vampire squid.
“Creep-a-zoidal,” said Judy.
Everybody snuggled down into sleeping bags. Mom and Dad were softly snoring in no time.
Even Mr. Crab Cakes was tucked away in his coconut-shell hut. “Night, Mr. Crab Cakes,” said Sophie. “See you in the morning.”
“I have an idea,” said Stink. “Let’s all three of us promise not to fall asleep tonight. We can shake on it with our new handshake.”
“New handshake?” asked Sophie.
“Hold out your arm, like this.” Stink held out his arm, wiggled his fingers on top of Sophie’s, then slowly pulled it back.
“That tickles,” said Sophie.
“It’s the vampire-squid handshake,” said Stink.
“Can’t,” said Sophie, rubbing her eyes. “I’m too tired.”
“Me, too,” said Webster, yawning.
Sophie fell asleep as soon as her head hit the pillow. Webster took off his glasses and hunkered down in the bag next to Stink’s.
“Webster?” Stink whispered. But his friend was already fast asleep.
The bluey-green light from the shark tanks cast a ghostly glow over the room. A pointy-nosed tiger shark streaked by, eyeing Stink and showing off his jagged teeth. A smack of goose bumps — a swarm, a fleet, a bloom of goose bumps — prickled up and down Stink’s spine. What if the shark tank broke and all the sharks got out?
He missed his own room. With his very own race-car bed and Astro and Toady and his Spider-Man, not-baby night-light.
He squeezed his eyes shut. He tried counting shark teeth. He tried counting moon jellies in the ocean. What if Bloody Mary reached out and slimed me?
“Judy?” He crawled over and gave his sister a nudge. “You asleep?”
“Yes, I’m asleep,” Judy mumbled.
“I can’t sleep,” said Stink.
“Try counting shark teeth.”
“Tried. But now I’m afraid I’ll have shark-eating-me dreams.”
“So count pancakes. Silver-dollar pancakes aren’t scary.”
Stink counted silver-dollar pancakes. “Now I’m hungry,” whispered Stink. “Judy? Are you asleep over there?”
No answer.
Stink leaned over and gave Webster a nudge. “Hey. Webster. Let’s play a prank on Judy.”
Webster rubbed his eyes and sat up. “Prank. What kind of prank?”
“A sleepover prank!” said Stink, feeling better already. “We could . . . tie her feet together while she’s sleeping.”
“Do you have any string? Or rope?”
“Nope on the rope,” said Stink.
“We could stick her hand in a cup of water,” said Webster.
“What for?” asked Stink.
“To make her wet the bed!”
“Yeah!” said Stink. “Do you have a cup of water?”
Webster looked in his snack pack. “I have an empty juice box, some ketchup packets, and four baloney-sandwich bread crusts.”
“Hey, I know.” Stink poked around in his backpack and then held up a marker. “Let’s draw a mustache on her.”
They crawled over to Judy. Webster held a flashlig
ht while Stink held out his marker. Judy stirred. “Hey! What are you doing?”
“Nothing,” said Stink.
“You better not be trying to mustache me,” said Judy.
“Rats,” said Stink. Judy pulled the sleeping bag over her head.
“Do you have any deodorant?” whispered Webster.
Stink crawled over and got deodorant from Dad’s shaving kit.
“Okay,” said Webster. “Put the deodorant under her nose . . .”
“Uh-huh?”
“And when she smells it . . .”
“Uh-huh?”
“It will make her sleep talk.”
“Sleep walk?”
“No, sleep talk. Talk in her sleep.”
Stink crawled back over to Judy. He pulled back the top of the sleeping bag. He took the cap off of the deodorant, and passed it right under her nose.
Judy swiped at her nose. She sneezed. Her lips moved.
“It’s working!” whispered Stink.
Judy mumbled four words.
“What did she say?” asked Webster.
“She said, ‘I heart Frank Pearl.’ My sister’s in love with Frank Pearl!”
“That’s not what she said. She said ‘I fart prank girl.’”
“That doesn’t even make sense!” said Stink. They cracked up so bad it woke Sophie of the Elves.
“What’s so funny?” she asked.
“Your hair is sticking up like a sea urchin!” said Webster.
Sophie mashed her sticky-up hair down. “So what?” She aimed her flashlight at the hermit-crab habitat. She put on her glasses and peered closer. “Mr. Crab Cakes?”
“What’s wrong?” asked Stink.
“Mr. Crab Cakes! He’s not here! As in G-O-N-E gone!” She picked up the habitat and held it out for them to see.
“Are you sure?”
“Sure I’m sure. He was right here in his little hut when I went to sleep. But he’s not hiding under the bridge or in his crab shack or anywhere. We have to find him!”
“Search party!” said Stink.
The three friends, flashlights in hands, looked in their sleeping bags. Under their sleeping bags. Stink looked all around Judy and Mom and Dad. Webster even looked in Sophie’s sea-urchin hair. Sophie turned her pj pockets inside out.
No Mr. Crab Cakes.
“Hey, look!” said Sophie, pointing to a trail of water drips and drops. “I think Mr. Crab Cakes left a trail.”
On hands and knees, they followed the trail until they came to a door.
But it was not just any door. It was the door. The KEEP OUT door.
“Bloody Mary!” said Stink.
“I’m not going back there,” Stink said.
“Well, don’t look at me,” said Webster. “Besides, it says KEEP OUT. Mr. Crab Cakes wouldn’t go in there.”
“Hermit crabs can’t read,” said Sophie.
“Judy. Let’s get Judy!” said Stink. They hurried back to the far end of Sharks Ahoy. Judy was sound asleep.
“Webster. Get a ketchup packet. Stat,” said Stink.
Stink squirted ketchup all over his hand. He held his ketchup-y hand in front of her face. He whisper-yelled into her ear, “Shark attack! Shark attack! Aagh! My hand!”
Judy bolted awake. “Stink. Your hand! What happened —?”
Stink licked the ketchup off his hand. “Pranked you. We got you so good.”
“ROAR!” Judy growled.
“Now that you’re awake,” said Stink, “we need your help.”
“Mr. Crab Cakes is lost,” said Sophie. “Our search party followed a trail of water drips. We think he crawled under the KEEP OUT door.”
“We’re afraid Bloody Mary might have gotten him,” said Webster.
Judy rubbed her eyes. “If I help, you have to promise to let me go back to sleep. And not play any more pranks on me tonight?”
Stink held out his shark-tooth necklace. “I shark-swear it.”
Judy Moody led the way to the KEEP OUT door. The low moo of a whale groaned in the background. She reached for the door handle.
“Wait!” whispered Stink. “First make sure there’s no spooky red glow coming from under the door.”
Judy bent down to look. “No red glow, Stink.” She put her ear to the door. “Shh. I hear something.”
“Is it a phone ringing?” asked Webster.
“It’s not a phone ringing,” said Judy.
“Is it a moaning? Or a groaning?” asked Sophie.
“More like a humming,” said Judy.
Stink gulped. Webster went as pale as a moon jelly. Sophie covered up her ears. “Bloody Mary!” they all screeched, huddling together like a waddle of penguins.
But Judy was already turning the handle. A strange sound echoed suddenly in the dark. Aii ooh eee moo . . .
Before you could say one-two-three-squidoo, Stink and his friends jumped back, hanging on to one another.
“Let’s look for Mr. Crab Cakes tomorrow,” said Sophie. Stink nodded.
“No way am I going in there,” said Webster.
“Psych!” Judy grinned. “Gotcha back, Stink. That was just me.”
“You spooked the goose bumps right off of me!” said Stink.
“C’mon.” Judy opened the KEEP OUT door, shining her flashlight left and right. Trays of bones! Boxes of claws! Jars of eyeballs! “This looks like a workroom,” said Judy.
They followed the beam of light, searching under table after table for Sophie’s hermit crab.
“He could be anywhere,” said Sophie.
“I hope a tiger shark didn’t eat him,” said Stink.
“Or a bat ray,” said Webster. “Or a giant octopus.”
Stink shook off a shiver. “Maybe they’re putting skeletons together here. Maybe it’s a bazillion-million-year-old Megaxantho skeleton.”
“What’s a Megaxantho?” asked Sophie.
“Giant prehistoric crab,” said Stink.
“Hey, maybe it’s the great-great-great-great-grandfather of Mr. Crab Cakes,” said Sophie.
Suddenly, in the beam of flashlight, a giant pincher appeared. It seemed to reach out —
“Attack of the Japanese giant spider crab!” cried Stink. He tripped over his own foot, knocking into Sophie. Sophie fell back and knocked into Webster. Her elbow hit him square in the mouth.
“Tooth! My tooth!” Judy aimed her flashlight at Webster. He showed off the hole where his tooth had been.
“My loose tooth!” he said, holding up a pointy little tooth. “Hey, I can talk again.”
“I bet it’s at least one-sixteenth shark tooth,” said Stink.
“You can put it under your pillow tonight,” said Sophie.
“Does the Tooth Fairy stay up this late?” asked Webster.
“Sure,” said Sophie.
Just then, they heard a sound. A purring sound. For real. Judy tilted an ear to listen. “It’s coming from over there. Behind that door.”
They tiptoed across the lab to another door. Sophie held her breath.
Stink pointed to the bottom of the door. A ghostly red glow spilled out from the crack under the door. It made their faces look Halloween-spooky.
Purrrrrrrrr.
“Judy! Did you hear that? Don’t go in there,” warned Stink.
“There could be a killer shark in there,” said Webster. “I think I hear him grinding his teeth.”
“Bloody Mary!” said Sophie, holding on to Stink’s sleeve.
The three friends hung back as Judy opened the door. She took one step into the reddish darkness. She felt for a light switch.
The beast purred again, louder. Stink shivered. “Does anybody else feel a cold breeze?”
Just then, the light came on. Stink and Sophie and Webster could not believe their eyes.
A kitchen!
They were in a kitchen. A fridge purred. A microwave blinked.
“It’s the lunchroom,” said Judy.
The fridge made a loud gurgly sound. “Here’s your vampire
squid,” said Judy, pointing to the ice-maker. She opened the freezer and a blast of cold air came out in a misty puff. “And here’s your cold breeze.”
“But how could —” said Stink.
“Meet Bloody Mary,” said Judy. She pointed to the clock with glowing red numbers on the microwave oven.
“Bloody Mary is Bloody Microwave?” asked Stink. Judy nodded.
“Phew,” said Sophie and Webster, plopping down in some chairs.
“Hey! We could make popcorn!”
“Stink. Are you nuts? Do you know what would happen if we got caught?”
“No, what?” Stink whispered.
“They’d let the vampire squid suck out all your blood,” said Judy.
Just then, the phone rang. Stink reached to pick it up. “Don’t —” said Judy. But it was too late.
“Hello?” asked Stink.
There was no answer.
“Hello?” Stink asked again.
Still no answer.
“Nobody’s there.” Stink looked at Sophie. Sophie looked at Webster.
“Bloody Mary, Bloody Mary, Bloody Mary!” all three shouted, racing out the door, down the hall, past Mr. Crab Cakes’s great-great-great-great-grandfather, past Megaxantho, past trays of bones and boxes of claws, out through the KEEP OUT door, and back into the bluey-green night-light glow of Sharks Ahoy.
They were all out of breath by the time they got back to their sleeping bags. Stink’s heart was still drum-beating in his chest.
Judy came up behind them and crawled into her bag. Sophie pulled her bag up to her chin.
“Sorry we didn’t find Mr. Crab Cakes,” Stink said to Sophie.
“We’ll search again in the morning. In the light.” Sophie let out a yawn.
“Good night, sleep tight,” said Stink. “Don’t let the jellyfish bite!”
He tried to quiet his thumping heart, but Stink couldn’t stop thinking about Bloody Mary. “Hey, Webster. Let’s go brush our teeth one more time.”
Webster looked in the restroom mirror. He stuck his finger in the hole where his tooth had been.
“Does it hurt?” Stink asked.