“I know you’re angry with me,” he began. “And you should be. I lied to you, and I abused your trust. But the only thing I lied about was what I do for a living. Everything else was real, Marley.”
“Forgive me if I have a little trouble believing that,” she replied.
“It’s true. I’m still the same person. I never lied about my background. I never hid my personality.” His voice grew wry. “Don’t you think, if I was playing a part, I’d choose to be someone more charming, more likable? I know I’m flawed, Marley. I’m rough around the edges, I’m too serious, too intense, too…broken.”
Her heart squeezed in her chest. No, she would not allow herself to be swayed by his words, no matter how earnest they sounded.
“That could have been part of the act,” she said, wincing at the feeble pitch in her tone. “Make yourself out to be…to be broken so I’d feel some silly urge to fix you. You knew I was a nurse, that my job means I like to help people. Maybe you wanted me to help you.”
“Remember when you told me it’s okay to talk about things that hurt you? Well, for me, it’s never been okay. Do you think I liked telling you about the day I found my mother overdosed on the floor? That it was all part of some sick game? I’ve never told anyone about that before.” Caleb made a frustrated sound in the back of his throat. “I didn’t plan on opening up to you, Marley. It just happened.”
“Yeah, it conveniently happened.”
He flinched at her harsh retort, but the determination on his face never wavered. “I won’t leave you. Grier will try to get to you, but I refuse to let him. Did Hernandez tell you what happened to the last woman who got involved with Grier?”
She nodded, unable to speak.
“Well, I won’t let that happen to you. You can be angry with me all you like—you can hate me if you want—but I’m not leaving this house. If I left and something happened to you…” Agony clung to his husky voice. “I’d never forgive myself. No matter what you believe, I care about you, and I’m staying right here to protect you.”
She tried to ignore the rush of warmth that heated her belly. There wasn’t a single false note in his heart-felt words. Was Gwen right? Was it possible Caleb truly did care for her? Patrick had covered up the fact that he was a criminal, had lied about his very nature. But Caleb was a cop, a man who’d sworn an oath to protect others, and now he was determined to protect her. If anything, that made him honorable, but did it excuse the lie he’d told her?
She sucked in a slow breath. “Caleb—”
“I’m not going anywhere,” he interrupted, jutting out his chin. “Even if I have to sit on the front porch all night, even if I have to stand on a ladder outside your bedroom window, I won’t leave.”
As if a higher power were eavesdropping on their discussion, a loud crack of thunder sounded from outside. Seconds later, rain poured from the sky, pounding against the house. Marley turned to the window in disbelief, watching as raindrops streaked down the glass.
“I swear, you planned this,” she grumbled, shaking her head at him. “Now I’ll spend the whole night picturing you getting soaked on the porch, or struck by lightning while standing on a ladder.”
His lips twitched, but he didn’t say a word.
“Fine,” she said. “You can stay. But this doesn’t mean I forgive you, Caleb.”
“I know.”
They stared at each other for one long moment, and a kaleidoscope of emotions spun around in her body. A part of her wanted to break the distance between them and find solace in his strong arms. She wanted to feel his firm lips pressed against hers, his dark stubble scraping her cheek. But then there was the other part of her—the angry part—that looked at him and remembered the cameras next door.
The sound of the front door opening interrupted her thoughts. Her pulse quickened, as a feeling of foreboding shot up her spine. She’d been on edge ever since the incident with her locker, and she found herself jumping at shadows, startling at the merest sound. She kept expecting Patrick to pop out of a closet or blaze into the house with a gun.
Her heartbeat slowed when Caleb’s partner appeared in the doorway, shaking out his clothing and sending water droplets onto her parquet floor.
“Hernandez left for the hospital to get Mrs. White’s statement,” AJ said. “The other officers from the SDPD are continuing the patrols, and our guys are setting up posts around the neighboring houses. Are we heading next door?”
Caleb shook his head. “I’m staying here.”
His partner’s eyes flickered with surprise. “All right.”
“Keep your radio on, and your eyes on the monitors,” Caleb said brusquely. “If Grier decides to come back tonight, we’re going to see him.”
With a nod, AJ bid an awkward goodbye and left the room. Caleb walked him out, and she heard the metallic scrape of the lock sliding into place. He returned a few seconds later and said, “You should go up to bed. It’s past midnight.”
Marley was quite aware of the fact that they were now completely alone. The same way they’d been alone last night, when they’d made love for hours in her bedroom. A traitorous flame of desire licked at her skin.
No. No way. She couldn’t let herself be tempted by this man. No matter how gorgeous he looked in his all-black get-up, with his dark hair falling onto his proud forehead.
She stumbled to her feet. “Yeah, I should go upstairs.”
To her dismay, he followed, trailing after her as she climbed the stairs to the second floor. “I guess you can sleep in the guest room,” she offered, gesturing to the doorway across from hers.
He shook his head. “I’ll stay outside your door.”
Annoyance tickled her throat. “For the love of—”
“I’ll be right here if you need me,” Caleb cut in. “Now stop arguing and go to bed.”
She rolled her eyes. Fine, if he wanted to be all macho about this, she would let him. So what if he chose to sit on an uncomfortable hardwood floor all night? That was his problem.
The first thing she did after she walked into her bedroom and shut the door was make a beeline for the window. She closed the drapes, her lips thinning as she pictured Caleb’s scary partner next door, watching her on the monitor. She fought the urge to give him a big fat scowl. Instead, she took the higher road and turned away from the window, heading to the bathroom to get ready for bed.
Ten minutes later, she slipped under the covers and stared up at the ceiling. Outside, the rain continued to pound against the house, drumming out a staccato beat on the roof.
Sleep did not come. She was too keyed up and afraid, unable to erase the memory of what Patrick had done to her locker. That angry red word, designed to scare, to accuse. She pushed the image from her mind, only to have it replaced with one equally disturbing—Caleb sitting outside her door. He was actually prepared to spend the night there. In the morning, his back would be throbbing, his legs stiff from— God, she was such a bleeding heart.
Or maybe she was just looking for excuses to invite him into her room.
Marley sighed in the darkness. Why couldn’t she just stay angry with him? She shouldn’t want him around. After Patrick’s betrayal, she’d banished her former fiancé from her heart and mind. Had had zero desire ever to see his sorry face again. So why wasn’t it that way with Caleb?
She lay in bed for eighteen more minutes, watching the red numbers on her alarm clock roll over. Finally, she couldn’t stand it anymore.
Groaning, she pushed away the comforter and got up, bare feet padding toward the door. She threw it open, and sure enough, Caleb sat on the floor, his head resting against the door of the guest room.
“Get in here already,” she mumbled.
He shifted, one hand on the gun holstered at his hip, the other behind his head as a makeshift pillow. “I’m fine out here.”
She set her jaw. “Seriously, come in. I can’t sleep knowing you’re spending the night on the floor.”
“I—”
&n
bsp; She held up her hand to silence him. “Stop arguing,” she mimicked, “and come in.”
Looking extremely reluctant, Caleb stood up and followed her into the bedroom. He eyed the bed, and she noticed his throat working as he swallowed. She knew exactly what he was thinking. She was thinking it, too, and her body grew hot as she remembered everything they’d done on this bed only last night.
A wave of longing hit her as she thought about Caleb’s hands touching her skin, the seductive swirl of his tongue, the strength of his body as he drove into her, over and over.
“Now what?” he asked with a sigh, turning to her for his next orders.
She hesitated. “We’ll share the bed. It’s big enough for both of us.”
“Marley…this isn’t a good idea.”
“I don’t care. It’s one o’clock in the morning, I’m exhausted, and I can’t sleep knowing you’re sitting on the hard floor.” She marched to the bed and got under the covers, then shot him a pointed look.
Caleb seemed ready to protest again, but finally he just nodded, a resigned light in his eyes. Slowly, he removed his gun and holster and carefully placed them on the top of her dresser. Then he glanced down at his clothing, as if trying to figure out what the heck to do.
Marley averted her eyes as he reached for his zipper. She heard the soft rustle of his clothing falling to the floor and then he was lowering his big body onto her bed. The mattress sagged from the weight of him. Her pulse sped up.
He didn’t get under the covers, just lay on top of them, flat on his back with his arms pressed to his sides. She was on her back, too, suddenly feeling nervous and slightly upset with herself. Her fingers tingled with the need to touch him. From the corner of her eye, she saw his bare chest rising and falling with each breath he took. And his masculine scent wrapped around her, spicy and musky and totally intoxicating.
She curled her fingers into fists to keep from reaching over and touching him. Staying completely still, she closed her eyes and tried to sleep, but her mind refused to shut off. She suddenly remembered something, and rolled onto her side to look at him. “What did you say to Hernandez in the hall?” she asked.
“Nothing important.”
“It seemed important,” she said. “And when he came back to question me, he was actually being kind of…nice. So either hell froze over or you got him to change his mind about me.”
Caleb went quiet for a moment. “I reminded him that you’re not Amanda James.”
She wrinkled her forehead. “Who?”
“AJ got me a copy of Hernandez’s file, which included the last case he worked.” Caleb paused. “I probably shouldn’t be telling you this.”
“Don’t you think I deserve to know why he’s treated me so badly?”
He paused for a second beat, finally letting out a breath. “Amanda James was the girlfriend of a guy Hernandez was trying to pin a series of bank robberies on. She insisted she had no idea what her boyfriend was doing, that she played no part in the robberies, and she was inconsolable when Hernandez brought her in for questioning. She was just a kid, barely nineteen, and Hernandez felt protective of her.”
Marley propped herself up on her elbow. “What happened?”
“The boyfriend was arrested but the judge let him out on bail. The day he got out, he and the girl robbed a grocery store, trying to get money to skip town. They ended up killing three people, including a ten-year-old kid.”
Marley sucked in a breath. “Oh, God, that’s awful.”
“Yeah, it was,” he agreed. “It turned out James knew about the robberies all along, she’d even participated in some, and Hernandez looked like a total fool.”
Despite herself, she felt a pang of sympathy. “And then Patrick and I came along, and the Bonnie and Clyde thing was happening all over again.”
“He didn’t want to make another mistake, but he took it to the other extreme. Too lenient on the first suspect, too harsh on the second.”
“I still don’t like him,” she said. “I get now why he was so hard on me, but I’m not sure that’s a good enough reason to totally railroad someone.”
“I agree.”
They fell silent, and she lay there watching the rise of his chest, the way he stared directly at the ceiling as if he couldn’t bear to look at her.
“Was it honestly real?” she whispered.
That got his attention. Very slowly, he turned to face her, looking into her eyes. “It was real,” he murmured. “I lied about my job, but I didn’t lie about who I am.”
“And who are you, Caleb?”
“I’m…I’m just a man. I make mistakes. I obsess over the job sometimes. I’ve never been in a serious relationship, probably because I’m used to being alone. I’ve always been alone.”
Each word sent an ache to her heart, until it squeezed so tight in her chest she could barely draw a breath. His voice was heavy with emotion, his face showing vulnerability she knew he hated to reveal.
“But not with you,” he said, so quietly she had to lean forward to hear him. “I don’t feel alone when I’m with you.”
She couldn’t help herself—she moved closer to him. Their faces were mere inches apart. Alarm bells rang in her head, warning her to stop this insanity before she fell into the same damn trap as before.
“It was real,” he said again, his breath warm against her face. “More real than anything else in my life, sweetheart. All these years I’ve gone through the motions, done my job and made conversation with my coworkers. I pretended to be normal, all the while knowing I wasn’t quite whole.”
She shivered as he lifted his hand to touch her cheek, tenderly caressing her skin. “I wasn’t pretending with you,” he finished. “I lied, but I didn’t pretend.”
God, what was she supposed to do, to say? This was the most open he’d ever been with her. His gruffness and cool composure was stripped away, leaving him bare and raw and honest.
Was she an idiot for wanting so badly to believe in that honesty?
Sensing where her thoughts had gone, Caleb’s voice became desperate. “I’m not lying to you, Marley. It might be better if I was, because then I wouldn’t have to feel…whatever it is I feel for you. It scares me. You scare me.”
Her breath hitched as he slid closer, so that their bodies were touching. She felt his heartbeat vibrating against her breasts, which grew heavy with need. His eyes dropped to her mouth, and her surroundings faded as Caleb kissed her.
She couldn’t pull back, couldn’t push him away. Goosebumps rose on her bare arms, which twined around him. Her fingers touched the soft hair at the nape of his neck.
“We shouldn’t… I shouldn’t…” Her words got lost in the kiss, swept away as he teased her lips with his tongue then slipped it into her mouth, where she met each greedy thrust, swirling and exploring until they were both breathless.
“Can’t you feel it?” he rasped against her trembling lips. “It feels right, Marley.”
She wanted to disagree, but the objection refused to leave her mouth. She didn’t want him to be right. She didn’t want this to be right. But she couldn’t stop kissing him, couldn’t stop the need that rose inside her like a tidal wave.
She reached between them and slid her hand under the elastic waistband of his boxers. She grasped his erection, stroking it as he let out a husky groan. She couldn’t fight the crazy urge to touch him. He nuzzled her neck, his mouth latching onto the soft flesh there.
A slow-burning fire spread through her body, pulsing between her legs and making her breasts tingle. When Caleb groaned against her throat and moved his hips to meet her hurried strokes, the fire burned even hotter.
“I need you inside me,” she whispered.
Both his hands suddenly cupped her chin. He searched her face, looking hopeful and anxious and unbelievably aroused. “Are you sure?”
She nodded, shifting onto her back and parting her thighs. God, this was insane. She should hate this man, not want him. Kick him out, not pull
him close. But the fire inside her refused to cool. Every nerve ending she possessed crackled with urgent need.
Caleb leaned over her and yanked open the drawer on the nightstand, rummaging around for the condoms they’d stashed there. He had his boxers off and a condom on before she could blink, and then he peeled her tiny boxer shorts and tank top off her body. He tossed them aside, along with her panties, and covered her body with his. With a slow and delicious thrust, he was inside her, eliciting simultaneous groans from each of their throats.
Pleasure gathered in her belly, intensifying as Caleb began to move. There was nothing rushed about his thrusts. He slid in and out, out and in, an indolent rhythm that made her whimper.
His warm hands stroked her face, his lips peppering kisses on her jaw, her neck, her shoulder.
“This is real,” he murmured. “It’s real, sweetheart.”
His pace remained lazy, and not even the restless lift of her hips deterred him. He made long, slow love to her, and when she looked up at his gorgeous face, the emotion she saw took her breath away.
Real. Yes, this felt real. She wrapped her arms around him and dragged her fingernails up and down the hard muscles of his back. The gentle tempo he’d set wasn’t enough anymore. She wanted more. Needed more. With a little moan, she urged him to go faster, arching her back to take him deeper. When he still didn’t comply, she raked her nails down his back and resorted to begging. “Please, Caleb…please.”
Whatever restraint he’d been holding onto snapped like a bungee cord, and then he was driving into her like a man possessed. “Christ,” he choked out. “You’re… I…”
He gave up on talking and kept moving, plunging into her until she could no longer bear it, until all her muscles tensed and…oh, yes. All thoughts drained out of her head as her body fragmented in sweet release. Flashes of light blinded her, while bursts of ecstasy went off in her body. She felt Caleb let go and she held him as he shook from release.
When the waves of her orgasm finally ebbed, common sense returned, urging Marley to push him away. She’d experienced a momentary relapse, a foolish lack of self-control, but now was the time to come back to reality. Caleb had lied to her, he’d hurt her, and even though she’d trusted him with her body just now, could she really trust him with her heart?