“A bedroom set?” Amiee would be glad of that.
“Yes, but it’s pretty beaten up. I almost gave it away. There’s probably a bunch of stuff that won’t interest you. Take what you want and then Garth and I will haul the rest to Goodwill or Saint Vincent de Paul.”
Cassie nodded, still overwhelmed with the thought that her sisters had saved her the piano.
“I made Mom’s recipe for potato salad,” Karen said, as she took out the hamburger buns from the bread drawer.
Beset by memories, Cassie realized she hadn’t done a thing to help with the meal. “Karen, thank you … really, thank you for everything. Please, tell me what I can do to help with lunch.”
“Okay. You can take these buns out to Garth—he likes to have them grilled. Garth loves to barbecue. Work has been slow for him the last couple weeks and he’s been home early enough to get dinner started. We’ve used the barbecue nearly every day this week.” Karen chattered away.
Cassie wanted to say something, anything to help ease this tension, but was afraid whatever she said would bring up memories best laid to rest. She carried the hamburger buns outside and found Steve and Garth talking as if they’d known each other for years. Garth flipped the burgers and took the buns from Cassie without breaking stride in their conversation.
Steve shot Cassie a look filled with questions. She could tell he was wondering if everything was going okay between her and her sister. She sent him a smile to reassure him that all was well, although that was a slight exaggeration.
When Cassie returned to the kitchen she saw that her sister was busy dumping a bag of potato chips into a bowl.
“I thought we’d dish up in here and then eat outside.”
“Sure.” Feeling at loose ends, Cassie looked around for a way to help.
“The iced tea is in the fridge if you want to bring that out.”
“Glad to.” She needed to do something to occupy her hands.
“I hope you brought pictures of Amiee,” Karen said, as if looking to fill the silence.
“I did,” Cassie assured her. “I’ll show them to you later.” What she wanted to tell her sister was how eager Amiee was to meet her family. Aunts, uncles, and cousins. She wanted her sister to know how Amiee hounded her for stories of her childhood and questions about the three sisters. But she said nothing, fearing anything more than a polite response would topple this fragile peace.
Karen sliced several hard-boiled eggs and artistically arranged them on top of the bowl of potato salad just the same way their mother had once done. “Do you mind if I ask you something?” Her sister sounded hesitant.
Cassie braced herself, knowing Karen was about to bring up Duke.
“Do you have any contact with him?” her sister asked, avoiding eye contact.
“None.”
“What about child support for Amiee? I hope he’s helping you financially.”
Cassie nearly laughed out loud—that was a joke if there ever was one. If she hadn’t been blinded by hormones and love, Cassie might have recognized the sign that Duke was not the kind of man you could depend on. Her father certainly had. It wasn’t until after they were married that Cassie discovered that Duke had never been able to hold down a job for more than a few weeks at a time. Child support! What was it their dad used to say? “You can’t get blood from a turnip”? Duke was either too drunk to work or too high on drugs to be of much use to anyone. Even when he did manage to find employment, his quick temper and drinking habits invariably caused him to get laid off or fired, often within a matter of a week or two. Once he was fired after a single eight-hour shift. Cassie remembered that specifically because Duke had blamed her and she’d been beaten for her imaginary efforts to sabotage his promising career as a dishwasher.
Karen studied her, her eyes round and sad. “Cassie, why did you stay away so long? Didn’t you realize how desperately Mom and Dad missed you?”
She carefully weighed her response. She could explain the truth, dredge up the horrors of her marriage, but she hesitated. She feared Karen might not believe her, might think she was looking for sympathy, or worse, bring up their last fight and how right she had been about everything. “I missed everyone, too,” she whispered, and then added, “desperately.”
If Karen knew the truth, the natural question would be why Cassie had stayed with Duke. This was a question Cassie had asked herself a thousand times. Others asked, too, and there was no easy answer. She stayed because she didn’t feel it was an option to leave. She had no job, no money, no friends, no connections. She was completely dependent on Duke, and for more than her and Amiee’s physical well-being. Emotionally she was tied to Duke, but those ties were like barbed-wire fencing, ties that brought her nothing but pain. Still, she hadn’t been able to find the courage to leave, not until it became a life-or-death situation. She was sure this would be beyond Karen’s scope of understanding.
“Why did I stay away?” Cassie repeated her sister’s question, unsure how to answer. Rather than attempt an explanation, she said, “I don’t know … why do any of us do the things we do?”
Karen continued to regard her, and a brooding frown came over her. “I ask myself that same question sometimes. Why do we do the things we do?” she repeated slowly.
Cassie was taken aback by how serious Karen had become. “Do you have regrets, Karen?” She did, and hoped this would open the way to a conversation about their last argument.
The frown left as quickly as it came. “Well, we all have regrets, don’t you think?” her sister asked lightly, as if having second thoughts about wading into such painful territory.
Cassie held her breath, hoping she was doing the right thing, then said, “I regretted the argument we had shortly before I left with Duke,” Cassie whispered. There, it was out. She took a deep breath while she awaited Karen’s response.
Her sister shrugged off the comment. “Like I said, we all have regrets.”
She seemed not to want to dredge up the ugly accusations that they’d flung at each other that day. As if looking for a way to change the subject, Karen glanced up.
“Who’s Steve?” She tossed a look over her shoulder at the two men on the patio.
“He’s a friend.” This question was tricky.
“Are you two involved?”
“Involved how? Romantically?”
“Well, yes.”
“No,” Cassie said, leaving no room for doubt. “Nothing like that.” Because she knew that wasn’t likely to satisfy her sister’s curiosity, she added, “He’s a volunteer with Habitat for Humanity and we’ve been working together for the last month or so. I can promise you there’s absolutely nothing romantic between us.”
Karen raised her brows so high they nearly met her hairline. It was clear she didn’t believe Cassie.
“It’s true,” Cassie insisted. “Steve lost his wife a few years back and he’s pretty much still hung up on her.” Her ego would like it if Steve was interested, but Cassie hadn’t seen any real evidence. Certainly nothing physical. Yes, he’d been kind, generous, and thoughtful after they’d finally gotten over that initial friction, but that didn’t constitute romantic interest.
The sliding glass door leading to the patio opened and both men walked inside. Garth carried a platter of hamburgers with buns.
“Lunch is served,” Garth said, and set the plate down on the counter. “Can we eat now? I’m starved.”
Chapter 19
Considering the stilted conversation between Cassie and her sister before lunch, the meal went relatively well. Cassie would be forever grateful Steve was with her. He steered the conversation away from any topic that would have caused her discomfort. Mostly Karen and Garth discussed their children, a subject that was safe. Cassie showed them pictures of Amiee, which Karen stared at for a long moment before handing them back.
“She looks like you,” Karen said, after an unusually long moment.
As if seeking a way to cover a sudden awkward silence, Cass
ie talked about working with Habitat, and Steve quickly mentioned that Cassie was actively involved in the building process.
“You’ll have to come and see the house once it’s finished,” Steve suggested.
Karen looked to Garth, who set his hamburger aside and nodded. “That’s something to consider.”
They finished their meal, and Cassie helped her sister put away the leftovers. Steve and Garth cleared off the patio table and cleaned the barbecue.
When she was alone again with her sister, Cassie braved asking the question. “Will you really come once the house is completed?” she asked, her back to her sister for fear of what she would read in Karen’s eyes. No matter what Karen said, Cassie wanted her family to know she wanted them in her life and yearned to be part of theirs.
“When will that be?” Karen responded. “I mean, we’ll come, I suppose, but you have to remember the kids’ activities keep us pretty busy.”
Cassie knew she was hedging. “I’ll remember,” she said, fighting down the disappointment.
“Winter is less busy than this time of year,” Karen added.
“We’re breaking ground next week,” Cassie explained. “We hope to have the house completed by early spring.”
“You mean you haven’t actually started?” Karen looked surprised.
“Well, not on our home. I’ve been putting in my hours helping other families.”
“Oh.” That was her only comment as she dried her hands on a kitchen towel.
Garth returned to the house. “Is everyone ready to head out for the storage unit?” he asked.
“Ready,” Cassie assured him.
Karen and Garth rode in one car while Steve and Cassie followed behind in the truck.
As soon as they were alone, Steve asked, “Everything went okay with your sister?”
“Yes. It was fine.” It was about as good as she’d let herself hope for. Karen was being polite, if not particularly warm. She didn’t seem interested in recrimination. Or maybe that would come later. At least the two were talking. Cassie waited for a moment and then glanced over at Steve and watched a quirky smile come over him. “You aren’t going to tell me I told you so?” she asked.
“Do you want me to?”
“No … but thanks for the encouragement, I needed it.” She doubted he realized what a huge step meeting with her older sister had been. It was the first move toward reconciliation with her family. It came to her how badly she needed her sisters, how dreadfully she missed being with them. Standing in the middle of her sister’s kitchen, she had decided to do whatever was necessary to reconnect with her family. Apologize for past mistakes, swallow her pride, anything.
“Garth is a decent guy, easy to talk to,” Steve was saying.
“What did you talk about?”
Steve hesitated. “Man stuff.”
“In other words, nothing you want to tell me.”
His face blossomed into a huge grin. “You got it.”
“So be it. I won’t pry.”
They drove up to a storage facility close to the Spokane airport in an industrial neighborhood and parked out front. Garth had the key and paused before turning to look at Karen. “Did you put an additional lock on here?”
“Me?” Karen pressed her hand to her chest. “No.”
Garth straightened and spoke to Karen. “You did pay for two months in advance, didn’t you?”
Waiting outside the unit, Steve stood behind Cassie and placed his hands on her shoulders. His touch felt warm against her skin and a tingling sensation went down her arms. She wasn’t sure what to make of the gesture and told herself it probably meant nothing.
“Let me check with the office,” Garth grumbled. “I just hope someone’s available on a Saturday afternoon.”
“There should be,” Karen called after him. Garth hurried toward the front of the facility, walking at a clipped pace. Karen looked embarrassed and apologetic. “I have a feeling there’s been a misunderstanding. Garth recently took over the bill paying and we’ve had a few minor glitches.”
“It happens,” Steve said.
“Garth is generally responsible. I don’t think things are going well at the office … he wanted to take a load off my shoulders, but I’m not sure having him tackle the bill paying is working out the way I’d hoped.”
Garth returned within ten minutes with another man, who removed the lock. As soon as he left, Karen asked her husband, “What happened?”
“I assumed you’d paid this in advance.” He turned toward Cassie and Steve. “I’m sorry about this, but it’s all taken care of now.”
“I feel bad for causing you all this trouble. I realize I took far longer than I should have to come.”
“No problem,” Garth said. “The fault was mine.”
The unit wasn’t big enough for her to walk inside. Right away Steve and Garth started loading the contents of the unit into the truck. Thankfully, the truck had a lift, otherwise it would have been nearly impossible to get the piano inside.
When Steve rolled the upright Baldwin out of the unit, Cassie stepped forward and reverently ran her hand along the top. Right away tears gathered in her eyes, though she managed to swallow them down. The emotion she felt seeing the piano was almost as powerful as what she’d felt when she first saw Karen standing on the porch steps.
The Baldwin reminded her of the innocence she’d lost and the connection with family, especially her father. She’d left all that behind when she’d run away with Duke. Struggling to hold back the tears, Cassie pressed her hand over her mouth, embarrassed by the feelings that flooded through her.
“Cassie.” Right away Steve was at her side, concern in his voice.
Cassie said, “It’s … nothing.” She was grateful her sister was occupied elsewhere and didn’t see her eyes welling up.
Steve’s look told Cassie he didn’t believe her, but he went back to moving things into the truck.
Rather than take the time to sort through all the boxes, Cassie had Steve and Garth load up the contents of the entire unit. With the two men working together, it didn’t take long.
When they’d finished, Steve tucked his hands into his back jean pockets. “You ready to head back to Seattle?” he asked Cassie.
She’d already taken up his entire day, and she could tell he was anxious to get back on the road.
“I’m ready.” She looked to her sister and Garth. “I … appreciate this,” she whispered. Without giving thought to her actions, Cassie impulsively reached out and hugged her sister. “Thank you.”
At first Karen didn’t return the hug, but then she did, squeezing Cassie tight and close. “It was good to see you.”
Cassie nodded. “You, too.”
When they broke apart, she noticed that Steve was already in the truck. “I’d better go.” Leaving was far more difficult than she’d anticipated. A large part of her yearned to stay, to turn back the clock to the time she was a teenager. She’d give anything to step back through the years and be smart enough to trust her parents’ wisdom. Knowing what she did now, she’d gladly accept their help. Reliving the past wasn’t an option, though. Cassie could only continue down the path she’d chosen all those years ago and do the best she knew how. Like she’d said to Maureen weeks earlier, she would do the next right thing.
Steve rolled down the driver’s-side window. “Cassie, you ready?”
She nodded and then climbed inside the cab and waved to her sister and Garth. It took only a few minutes to reach the freeway on-ramp. Steve was silent, and Cassie was glad because normal conversation was beyond her. She kept her head turned away as she struggled to hide the tears that rained unchecked down her cheeks. As hard as she tried, she found she couldn’t restrain the feelings of regret. She’d lost so much and hurt her family and herself. Though they might be back on speaking terms, it didn’t seem like they would ever find it in their hearts to forgive her.
Steve must have sensed her anguish, because he gently patted her knee
. Unable to stop crying, Cassie blindly reached for her purse and grabbed a tissue to blow her nose.
“I’m sorry,” she whispered, mortified that he would see her openly weeping.
“Don’t apologize,” he whispered. “Cry, Cassie, let it out; there’s no need to hold it inside any longer.”
She broke then, doubling over. Cassie rested her face on her knees as she dissolved into deep, heart-wrenching sobs that echoed through the truck’s cab. After a moment, she felt Steve’s hand on her back, and then gently stroking her head, offering her comfort.
Cassie felt the truck veer to the right and looked up to notice that Steve had pulled into a rest area. He drove the truck to the far side of the parking lot generally reserved for truckers and came to a stop.
Her sobs had turned into shoulder-shaking hiccups as she tried her hardest to bring her emotions under control. She wasn’t having much success as she searched for another tissue.
“Cassie,” Steve whispered, and unbuckled his seat belt and reached for her, bringing her into his arms, holding her close. If he hadn’t been so gentle or so kind she might have been able to resist him. Steve whispered to her, but she didn’t hear a word, only the soothing sound of his voice breaking through the pain.
He tucked his finger under her chin, tilting her head back, and then he was kissing her. His mouth was warm and soft as he held her as close as possible in the front seat of the truck.
It was as if he wanted to absorb her body into his own and swallow the pain for her. Cassie looped her arms around his neck and even while the tears continued to rain down her cheeks, dripping onto her chin, she responded to him, opening her heart. Soon their kissing took on a more intense quality until they were both nearly panting and breathless. Reluctantly, Steve pulled away and braced his forehead against hers as he drew in several deep breaths.