“Yeah, and I’d take everyone I care about with me,” he replied before a sad look passed over his features. “Well, almost everyone.”
My heart hurt, my head swimming with emotions as I tried not to succumb to the tenderness in his voice. Several moments of quiet ensued, and I went to sit on the couch. Lee remained standing, his eyes glued to me like I was a wild animal who might bite at any moment.
“I’m presuming you gave all the money to McGregor.”
Lee’s voice was low. “Apparently, the price of freedom these days comes at a cool three million.”
I flicked my gaze to his. “Do you have any idea what he’s going to do with it?”
“Buy another villa in Spain for his mistress. Fuck if I know, Snap. All I care about is that he won’t be bothering me or my family again. We can stay in London and go clean. It’s a win-win.”
“He could use it to do bad things, bring even more crime into the city.”
“He’s gonna do that anyway. Look, this isn’t about him doing bad, it’s about me doing good. You can sit there and spout all the moral philosophies you want. I still know it’s all bullshit. Nice guys finish last, and I’d step over a thousand people if it meant the ones I cared about were safe, because I know every single one of those thousand would step over me, given half the chance.”
What he said went against everything I believed in. I could name him a hundred times I’d put a stranger’s safety before my own because it was my job. Still, I understood why he had such a cynical view of the world. His own parents had abandoned him when he was just a child, so too had his aunt. From a young age he’d learned that people were selfish, only out for themselves. It hardened him to believe everyone was like that. For Lee, true altruism didn’t exist. Well, I was going to show him that it did.
“It’s not true, you know,” I said finally.
Lee looked back at me, clearly having been lost in his own thoughts. “What’s not true?”
“That they’d all step over you. I wouldn’t.”
“Yeah, well, you’re different.”
“Not really. You just think that way because you’re not looking in the right places. Good people exist, selfless people.”
Taking a step forward, he closed the space between us and knelt down in front of me. When he spoke, his voice was a whisper. “Was I looking in the right place the day I met you?”
“Yes,” I replied. “And I’m not turning you in.”
Lee exhaled a heavy breath, all the tension going out of him. He bent his head to stare at the floor, like he couldn’t bring himself to look at me.
“Why?” he asked, the quiet word laced with confusion. He was genuinely surprised, and I knew that up until this moment, he truly believed I was going to report him.
“Because in spite of everything, I can’t help protecting you, the same way I would anyone else who needed it.” As soon as the words were out, I knew they weren’t entirely true, and though I was doing something good for Lee, I wasn’t being selfless. In fact, saving him was probably the most selfish decision I’d ever make. I knew then that I cared more about him than I did my career, or the law, and it was downright terrifying. The thing was, sometimes when I looked at Lee I saw the boy he used to be, the one who had to grow up too fast. The fact that I couldn’t be there to help him back then made me feel so powerless, but I could regain that power by helping him now.
He lifted his head. “So that’s it? I could be anyone, and you’d still be making the same choice?”
“Your brothers need you,” I answered, avoiding the question.
His expression sobered as he drew away, staring at me like he was trying to figure out my game. There was no game. I’d fallen for him, plain and simple, and I’d never be the same again.
“I won’t forget this,” he said, his voice steady. It wasn’t full of gratitude or emotion, no tears of happiness were shed, but somehow I knew he meant it more this way.
For the rest of my life, Lee Cross would always believe that he owed me, when in reality he owed me nothing. Maybe someday he’d learn that real gifts were freely given, no need for payment in return.
Nineteen
POLICE REPORT
* * *
Case no: 78956012 Date: 25/02/2010
Reporting Officer: PC Tony Pollard Prepared by: Arresting officer
Incident: Grand theft auto
* * *
Details of Event:
At 2:15 p.m. on 25/02, PC Karla Sheehan and I were informed via dispatch of a stolen vehicle en route to our location. Once spotted, we proceeded to chase down the vehicle. When arriving in an area of heavy traffic, the suspect, one Liam Cross, age 20, fled, and both myself and PC Sheehan pursued him on foot until he was caught and apprehended.
* * *
Actions Taken:
Initial caution was given. The suspect was arrested and transported to Bethnal Green Police Station for processing, where he remained in custody for several hours before a family member posted bail. A date has been set for a preliminary hearing at the Central Criminal Court.
* * *
Summary:
Liam Cross, age 20, resident of Hackney, East London, was arrested for Grand Theft Auto on February 25th, 2010. Based on his crime, he will face a preliminary court hearing on April 17th, 2010.
* * *
I stared at the short but succinct report Tony had made when he first arrested Liam, biting my lip and dreading the impending day in court. There was nothing I could do now to change what happened, and I’d have to take to the stand and detail the events for the judge, most likely in front of Lee and all his family. It wasn’t going to be easy, but I didn’t have another choice. I couldn’t exactly call in sick.
It had been three weeks since I’d last seen Lee, and the investigation into the bank robbery had fallen flat. It’d been well-planned, and it was looking like Lee and his brothers were home free. For now. Whatever happened during Liam’s case could throw the family into yet more turmoil.
The bank job hadn’t been a victimless crime. The employees working that day and the customers present were surely dealing with all kinds of emotional trauma. Still, it was as victimless as you could get in this day and age. I mean, the bank’s money was insured. I tried to reassure myself of this, that at least they hadn’t hurt or killed anyone, but I still felt uneasy. And really, I wondered if it would even be possible for Lee to go straight. Would he go into work in the morning and feel bored? Would he miss the thrill?
Shouts sounded from the corridor leading to the locker rooms, and I stood to go and check out what the noise was about. When I rounded the corner, I found Tony and Steve in a standoff, DI Jennings with her arms crossed just a few feet away. She was eyeing Steve with nothing short of disdain as he argued with Tony.
“Nothing but a pair of bloody jobsworths, the both of you,” Steve fumed, and Jennings raised her hand to pat her mouth, emitting a yawn like she was bored with his theatrics.
“You’re been suspended indefinitely,” said Tony. “You need to go home and calm down, maybe take some time to reflect on all these stunts you’ve been pulling.”
“Please hand your badge and your weapons over to PC Pollard,” said Jennings. “You’re delaying my lunch, and I have a date with a tuna sandwich that’s far more interesting than anything you’ve got left to say.”
I almost laughed, but I reined it in. Tony held his hands out for Steve’s things, and Steve reluctantly handed everything over. When he turned to leave and saw me watching, he shoved me purposefully in the shoulder, muttering something like “nosy bitch” under his breath.
“Jesus, what happened with him?” I asked, looking to Tony.
“PC Pollard discovered him taking cash from the evidence room,” Jennings answered simply, before turning and, I’m assuming, going to have her date with that tuna sandwich. What she’d said didn’t surprise me. Tony and I shared a loaded glance, mine laced with thanks. We’d discussed Steve and his underhanded schemes a
few times over the last few weeks during our shifts, both of us eager to catch him doing something on camera so we could have him suspended. It looked like Tony had been a busy bee.
“Have I ever told you how awesome you are?” I said, grinning.
Tony smiled and casually shrugged. “All the time. Can’t shut you up.”
I laughed and went to give his hand a squeeze before going back out and returning to my desk. When I arrived home that evening, I found Alexis had cooked roast chicken and mashed potatoes for dinner. My stomach gurgled, reminding me I was hungry, as I went to change clothes and take a shower. The table was set by the time I came back out, and we both sat down to eat.
“Lee visited me today,” said Alexis, and I almost choked on the food I’d just swallowed.
“He did? What did he want?”
“To see how I’m doing,” she answered with no small amount of sarcasm. “I’m sure it was all just a front to check up on you.”
I stared at my plate. “Yeah, well, I don’t need checking up on.”
“Liam’s court date is this week, you know.”
“I’m well aware of that, Lexie.”
“You have to be there, don’t you?”
I glanced at her, wondering what she was getting at. “You know I do.”
She eyed me sympathetically and appeared torn over what to say. Dropping her fork onto the table, she rubbed at her belly.
“Is the baby kicking?”
She nodded her head. “Yeah, but it’s not that. Lee told me something, and I don’t want you walking in there with blinders on. It wouldn’t be fair.”
“Tell me, then.”
She inhaled a quick breath. “He’s having Liam’s solicitor broker a deal. If he gives up the name of the person he was working for, they’ll let him go free.”
“But then Lee….” I gasped, unable to finish my sentence.
“Will do time,” said Alexis, her brown eyes turning down at the ends sadly, our conversation falling into silence.
I barely slept that night, and the next day I seemed to have drawn the short straw, because everything that could possibly go wrong did. First off, a woman I arrested for shoplifting went crazy and attacked me at the station, resulting in me sporting an awful welt across one cheek. Secondly, the evidence I’d collected on a drug pusher from several weeks ago went missing, which meant he couldn’t be prosecuted. I was willing to bet it was a last “fuck you” from Steve. And thirdly, just to add icing on the cake of a supremely shitty day, my car broke down.
It was dark, and I was on my way home after my shift. When I called the AA, they said it’d be one to two hours before a tow truck arrived, so I was stuck on the hard shoulder of a busy motorway with no other option but to wait it out.
Only about thirty minutes had passed when there was a steady knock on my driver’s-side window. I thought with relief that the truck had gotten there early, but then glanced up to find Lee peering down at me through the glass.
Okay, so if my car breaking down was the icing on the cake, then Lee showing up was the magic sprinkles. I didn’t open the door, only rolled down my window for him.
“Need help?” he asked. Damn, he looked good, his hair casually tousled. I noticed his eyes drifting over me, checking me out in the same way I was him.
Shaking my head, I answered, “No, thanks, I’m good. The AA will be here soon.”
He didn’t look like he believed me. “How long you been waiting?”
“Thirty minutes,” I muttered, looking down at my phone.
Lee emitted a soft chuckle. “In that case, they’re not getting here any time in the next century. Let me take a look,” he urged me, holding up his hands and wriggling his fingers. “This is what I’m good at.”
“It’s fine. I’m happy to wait. I’m sure you have somewhere you need to be.”
I wanted him to leave, not only because of the feelings his nearness provoked, but also because I was two seconds away from confronting him over his bullshit plan to go to prison instead of Liam.
He levelled me with a challenging stare, not breathing a word, but instead of arguing, he just walked around to the front of the car and proceeded to open the hood.
Oh, no effing way.
Getting out, I stomped toward him, pushing his hands back and slamming it down. Trying to ignore the spark I felt when our fingers touched, I scowled at him with all my might. “I said I don’t need your help. Are you going deaf or something?”
Lee cocked his head, perplexed. “Why are you being so difficult?”
“I’m not being difficult. I’m just irritated by how you always think you know best,” I huffed. Somewhere in the back of my mind, I knew I wasn’t angry at him for being heavy-handed — I was angry at him because he was going to sacrifice himself for his brother, and refusing to let him fix my car was the only way of expressing how I felt right then.
Lee held firm when I tried to stand my ground, and before I could react, he gripped me by the waist, lifted me, and threw me over his shoulder. I wriggled in his hold, but seconds later he’d opened my car door and shoved me in the back. I hadn’t even seen him swipe my keys, but by the time I tried to scramble forward, he’d locked all the doors.
My car was an old Nissan, so I could still open it from the inside. Lee saw me going for the lock and warned me, “If you get out, I’ll kiss you.”
He was such a little fucker.
I huffed a sigh and folded my arms, my annoyance written all over my face at his threat. Lee chuckled as he watched me, but then his expression sobered when he saw the welt on my face. His voice was muted since all the windows were closed, but I could just about hear him as he brought his fingers to his own cheek.
“What happened there?”
“A woman I arrested today did it. Absolute nutjob.”
Lee frowned in concern, placing his hands on his hips before turning away. He returned to the front of the car, and I sat and waited while he fiddled around with the engine. A few minutes later he reappeared, sliding into the back seat next to me.
“Your HT leads need replacing. You should call AA and cancel. I’ll hitch you up to the back of my car and drive you to the garage, replace them for you for free.”
“Is this you paying me back the favour you owe me?” I asked.
Lee eyed me and smiled. “Nah, this is me trying to be more like you, helping the needy and all that.”
I scoffed. “Sure.”
Lifting his hand, he ran his fingers over my hurt cheek. “This looks bad.”
“I’ve had worse.”
“I hope you gave as good as you got.”
“Oh, yeah, I kicked her arse right in the middle of the station while the other officers cheered me on.”
Lee pursed his lips, still smiling. “Don’t be a smart-arse.” Picking my phone up from my lap, he shoved it into my hand and said, “Call them. Otherwise, you’ll be sitting out here all night.”
Giving in, I called and cancelled the tow truck. When I hung up we were both silent, and his plan to switch places with Liam burned heavily on my heart. I was upset and angry at him, but I couldn’t let out everything I was feeling without coming across as hysterical. Still, I had to broach the subject. The court hearing was tomorrow. I needed to convince him to change his mind.
“Alexis told me what you’re going to do for Liam,” I said, my voice quiet.
Lee exhaled and stretched his legs out as much as he could in the small space. “I take it from the way you’re looking at me now that you don’t approve.”
“Please don’t do it, Lee,” I begged, unable to hold back my desperation. A tear fell down my cheek, and he reached out to wipe it away.
“Don’t cry,” he murmured tenderly. “I’ve been breaking the law for years. It’s only right that I finally serve my time.”
I turned into him, burying my face in his neck as I whispered, “But I don’t want you to go away.”
“It won’t be forever,” he replied, stroking my hair a
s his lips pressed against my temple.
“I don’t understand how you’re just accepting this. Before you said it was going to be fine. You said your solicitor could get Liam off, no problem.”
He sighed. “Yeah, well, when I stopped working for McGregor, I lost a lot of privileges. One of those included my legal representation. So now we don’t have William Dunning on our side, and we also don’t have a hope in hell’s chance of getting Liam’s charges dropped. I can’t let my baby brother go to prison for something I got him into in the first place, Karla. It has to be me. You understand that, right?”
I looked into his eyes and knew I couldn’t argue with him. If I ever had a sister, I’d do the exact same thing, no question. God, he’d been right all along. We were the same. Too stubborn and brave to know what was good for us, out on a mission to save everyone but ourselves.
“Yeah, I understand.”
Soaking him in, I tried to comprehend the fact that in just a few short weeks he could go to prison. I wasn’t going to see him for years, and that terrified me.
A surge of desperation clutched suddenly at my heart as I smashed my mouth to his, kissing him like my life depended on it. He was only twenty-five, so young and handsome and clever, and all his best years were going to be spent in a prison cell. The worst of it was that I knew he wouldn’t come out the same man. He’d lose the spark that always shone so brightly in his eyes, would no longer be the flirty, carefree guy I was once met on a chilly London morning.
Lee’s hands clutched my face, his tongue sinking deep into my mouth as a loud moan escaped me. My fingers slid beneath his shirt, tracing his hard abs. When he grabbed my thighs and pulled them around his waist, his erection was hard as steel against my core. It’d been so long since I’d gotten to touch him like this that my need was close to maddening.
Gasping, he broke our kiss, trailing his mouth down my neck and unbuttoning my blouse until my bra was exposed. He buried his face in my cleavage, a growl rumbling from deep in his chest, and the vibration made me tremble.