There was music in the pub and a small dance floor, a few women and men busting sloppy, drunken moves. Lee’s breath hit my skin right before he whispered, “Come dance with me.”
He didn’t give me time to respond, only grabbed my hand and pulled me up with him. I followed, my head foggy with either arousal or tequila, I couldn’t seem to tell. My eyes traced the muscular lines of his broad shoulders, shoulders made for hard work and fucking, and I began to imagine where this night would lead.
Some cheesy eighties rock ballad played through the speakers as Lee spun us around, pulled me close, and slid his arms around my waist. I stared up at him, his bright blue eyes arresting. The way he moved was purposeful, every brush of his body against mine designed to seduce.
“Lee,” I said, unsure whether he could hear me over the music, “why did you leave last night?”
I knew by the set of his mouth that he didn’t like my question, but he answered it anyway. “I didn’t want to, if that’s what you’re asking.”
What he said was a relief, because although he was showing all the signs that he wanted me, there’d always be that lingering doubt in the back of my mind, questioning whether or not he still harboured blame.
“So….” I ventured. “You just didn’t want to take advantage while I was drunk?”
“Yeah, I want to do things right this time.”
“This time?”
He nodded, a predatory gleam in his eyes. “If you think I’m here for friendship, Karla, you’re shit out of luck.” The growl in his voice did wonderful things to my insides. “I want you back in my bed, for good.”
“Oh,” I breathed, uncertain as to what to say.
“But it won’t be like last time. I refuse to sneak around or keep things secret. I won’t have you letting go of my hand because you’re ashamed to be seen with me. That shit is over. I want you to be proud to be by my side. I want you to want everyone to know you’re mine. But most of all, I want to be worthy of you.”
“You were always worthy. Circumstances just weren’t…optimal.”
He shook his head, still swaying our bodies gently to the music. “Nah. You said something to me once that rang true. You said I’d gotten away with murder for so long that I wasn’t afraid of being caught anymore, and you were right. When you’re in as deep as I was, you get numb, but you also start justifying your actions. You begin to believe you’re doing good, that it’s either you or them. You convince yourself that the law’s wrong. That’s where my head was at when I first met you, and little by little you broke down the walls of bullshit I’d built up. You showed me all the lies I’d been telling myself until I finally woke up and believed you.”
I stared at him, taken aback by his admission. Because the truth was that he’d shown me so much, too. The law wasn’t perfect. There would always be Steves around to screw people over and take advantage of the power that came with the job. There would always be corruption and unfairness. And it was those like Lee and his family who bore the brunt of that, because he’d shown me that people’s actions are a result of their circumstances, and sometimes breaking the law is the only choice.
I thought on all this as I lowered my head to rest on his shoulder.
“What I’m trying to say is, I want to date you, Karla Sheehan,” he said, a smile in his voice.
I laughed softly and nuzzled my nose into his skin. “Like an old-fashioned courting?”
He breathed deeply and drew me closer, his mouth at my temple. “Maybe not so old-fashioned. I’m not sure I can keep my hands to myself for that long.”
“I’m not sure I’d want you to,” I whispered, and felt him shudder when my breath hit his earlobe. “But there’s just one more thing.”
“Oh, yeah, what’s that?”
“When do you plan on announcing your intentions to my father?”
As soon as the question was out, we both burst into laughter. It went without saying that my dad was never going to accept Lee. It was a good thing I’d never been one to wait around for parental approval.
“How about this, if I promise you never have to meet my old man, then you have to promise I never have to meet yours?”
Eyeing him in amusement, I took his hand and we shook on it. “It’s a deal.”
Twenty-Three
Lee was working out some kinks in his menu. This was exactly how he phrased it when he called and asked me on our first official date. Come over to the restaurant, he said. Let me cook for you, and you can tell me what you like and what you don’t like. It didn’t take too much convincing for me to say yes, especially since he made all that sound decidedly sexual. But now I was nervous. I had no idea what to wear, and had changed my outfit several times.
The previous night we’d said goodbye without so much as a kiss, with Trevor drunk from too many tequila shots, and Lee and Liam helping him into a taxi. Needless to say, I was all amped up, excited and nervous for what would happen when I got to the restaurant. Would there be workers around, or would we be alone?
In the end I chose a dark purple skater skirt, boots, and an old Metallica T-shirt. It harkened back to my teenage grunge years, but it looked sexy and casual at the same time, so I forced myself not to try for another outfit change.
When I arrived at the Grub Hut, the sign above the premises was done in stylish carved metal. Peering in the window, I saw there was still work being completed on the interior, but I imagined it was going to look great when it was finished. I texted Lee to let him know I was outside, and a minute later he appeared from out the back, the end of his black T-shirt covered with flour and his hair tousled.
Opening the door, he welcomed me with a warm smile and pulled me into a hug. “Hey,” he murmured, placing a kiss on my temple.
“Hi,” I replied, stepping inside. “The place looks great. I love the sign.”
Lee grinned at my compliment and took my hand, leading me out back to the kitchen. The place was brand new, all stainless steel, with a long metal work top in the centre of the room. My mouth watered as I took in all the ingredients. There were bowls laid out with all manner of foods: chopped tomatoes and onions, avocados, coriander, quartered lemons, chilies, fresh tortillas, and a whole host of spices. It became clear that he was planning on making some kind of Mexican dish.
“Those shots last night gave me inspiration,” he said with a wink, and I got a little tingle along the back of my neck as I remembered his tongue on my skin. Lee’s eyes darkened, like he was remembering, too, and then he came over and took my jacket.
“Nobody else around?” I asked, trying to sound casual.
He shook his head and smirked. “We’re all alone.”
Trying to act like his flirting wasn’t affecting me, I hitched myself up onto the counter opposite his workspace and folded my arms. Looking around, I knew it must have cost a pretty penny to do the place up, not to mention the rents in London weren’t cheap. Though I didn’t suspect he’d used dirty money to fund the new business. Selling the garage would’ve left him with more than enough to start over.
“So how’s everything been going? You had any old acquaintances sniffing around?”
“No, and if they’re smart, they’ll steer clear. A couple of the boys who used to work for me wanted to go clean, too, so I gave them jobs here. If anyone comes trying for a protection racket, they’ll be shown where the door is.”
“That’s good. Do you expect they will?”
Lee shook his head. “Spent years building up a certain reputation, Karla. If anyone tries messing with this place or me, they’ll have to be dumb as fuck.”
I let out a breath and braced my hands on the edge of the counter. “Well, I’m glad to hear it, but if you ever have any problems, let me know. So, what are you making?”
He motioned to the ingredients. “Isn’t it obvious? Tacos.”
“I love tacos.”
He smirked. “Me, too.”
I rolled my eyes, but couldn’t help smiling. Lee went to wash hi
s hands and then returned, throwing some minced beef into the pan and mixing in a few spices. I found it strangely relaxing to watch him cook, and my stomach was rumbling by the time he was finished. He set three tacos on a plate for me and pulled up a stool.
“Okay, so each one has a different spice mix in the beef. Tell me which one you like best.”
I grinned, enjoying myself. “The second one is best. I like the smokiness,” I told him after I’d tasted all three.
“Yeah?” Lee asked, his eyes lighting up with interest. “What about number three? I tried a pinch of cardamom just for shits and giggles.”
“It’s good, but not as good as the second.”
He stood before me, his arms folded. “Okay, I’ll take your word for it. Now we move onto my béarnaise sauce recipe. I’ll make mini-steaks to go with it.” He tried to take my plate, but I pushed his hands away.
“Hey! I’m not finished yet.”
Lee chuckled and raised his hands in surrender. “No need to bite my head off. I just thought you might get full.”
“Ha! I’m a cop. I’m never full.”
“This is true. I should see about frying you up some donuts.”
I narrowed my gaze, still chewing. “Don’t be a dick.”
“You want my dick? Whoa, ease up there, serg. I’m not a piece of meat.” His cheeky wink held pure mischief as he bent to pull a pot out of the cupboard.
I scowled playfully at his comment, slightly annoyed by how easily he could get to me, and honestly, feeling a little turned on now that he’d switched up the conversation. I watched as he began melting butter in a saucepan and adding shallots. Already the smell was heavenly, and he hadn’t even put in the other ingredients yet. When he got some melted butter on his thumb, he stuck it in his mouth to suck it off, and without even realising it, I was clenching my thighs at the visual. When the steam made him too hot, he lifted his T-shirt to wipe the sweat from his brow, exposing his abs. I swear, if anyone ever decided to make a cookery show about Lee, they’d get top ratings.
I put down my empty plate and took a sip of water. Yes, because I was thirsty, but also because I was too warm.
“The sauce looks great,” I told him, and he glanced up.
“Yeah? You should come over again tomorrow. I’m makin’ a Ruby Murray.”
“Oh, my God, you’re such a Cockney sometimes.” I mock-cringed.
Lee grinned impishly. “You don’t like it?”
“Danny Dyer doesn’t really do it for me.”
“You lie. All the ladies love a bit of the Danny. They want him to take them down the rub-a-dub and dip his Hampton Wick in their Morris Minors.”
I almost wheezed, I laughed so hard. “That’s truly awful. Please don’t ever talk dirty to me in Cockney again. It’ll put me off sex for life.”
Lee was laughing too, his face handsome as he raised his hands. “Okay, understood. We wouldn’t want to put you off sex.”
“And why’s that?” I asked, suddenly feeling flirtatious.
“Because you get the orgasm version of hangry. If I don’t make you come, you’re in a right mood.”
“Shut up! That’s not true.”
“Happened a few times, Snap,” he asserted teasingly.
“Oh, you’re a little liar.” My expression showed my annoyance, and he looked pleased as punch that he was riling me. Clearly, that had been his intention all along.
After we ate the mini steaks, and I told Lee which version of his béarnaise recipe I preferred, he grabbed two beers from the fridge and brought me upstairs where there was a rooftop terrace. It was only a two-story building, so you couldn’t exactly see for miles, but it was still nice. The weather was mild, and the sky was starting to darken.
Lee popped open the bottles, handed one to me, and took a long swig of his own. We sat side by side on folding chairs, our feet propped up on an old wooden bench.
“I like it here,” I said, breaking the quiet.
“Yeah? I’m gonna get some of those funky coloured lights and hang them over the fencing, set up a few outdoor heaters and get some deck furniture. Make a nice little outdoor dining area.”
“Sounds like you’ve put a lot of thought into it.”
“If you’re gonna do something, might as well do it right,” said Lee, tipping his bottle to mine.
“I’ll drink to that.”
We sat in quiet for a few minutes, letting the nighttime city noises wash over us. Lee had pulled his chair up close to mine, so our shoulders were only inches apart.
My hair was up in a ponytail and my old T-shirt hung lazily off one shoulder. I was vaguely aware of a feathery sensation before realising it was Lee’s lips brushing just below my hairline. Letting out a low sigh, I tilted my head farther to the side to grant him more access.
“You know I love you, right?” he whispered, shocking me out of my reverie. My heart pounded, and I momentarily lost the ability to breathe. He’d told me he loved me once, while drunk beyond belief, but this was different. This time I knew it was true. Emotion clogged my throat, blocking my voice, and I felt wetness prick at my eyes.
“I know,” I finally managed to whisper.
“I understand if you can’t say it back yet. I just wanted to tell you how I feel.”
Involuntarily my mouth dropped open as I stared him. How could he ever think I didn’t feel just as strongly for him as he did for me?
“Lee,” I said, my voice scratchy, “I know I never admitted it, but I started falling for you a long time ago. It was impossible not to.”
I saw him hesitate, his face stoic as he watched me. I knew what he was waiting for. He needed me to say the words. After a moment that felt like forever, I managed to muster the courage.
“I love you, too,” I said, and he reached over to caress my cheek.
“Yeah?” he asked, his eyes searching mine like I might change my mind between one second and the next.
“Yeah,” I whispered.
In quick succession, he took both our bottles and set them down on the bench. Then he was back, his mouth devouring my neck, kissing and nipping in a way that sent tremors throughout my entire body. How was it that a few carefully placed kisses could reduce me to a quivering, breathless pile of need?
Lee tugged me over to sit on his lap, dragging my mouth to his and kissing me with a relaxed, confident sort of urgency. The spot between my legs ached to be touched while his erection dug into my hip. Before I knew it, I was straddling him, and he’d pulled the tie from my hair, letting the strands fall around my shoulders.
I was delirious with arousal, needing his mouth everywhere at once. Lee shoved my calf-length skirt up around my waist, his hands finding my underwear and hastily pushing the fabric to one side. When he slid a finger down my folds, he broke our kiss, leaned back, and stared up at me.
“You’re fucking beautiful,” he said, his voice fierce.
I let out a weak moan, my breaths quickening.
“I’m going to watch you come,” Lee went on. “I bet it’ll be fast.”
He wasn’t wrong. I’d been without sex for months, and being around him for the last few days had me wired. I was in woeful need of a release. Lee pushed two fingers inside me, and I savoured the feeling of fullness while he began rubbing my clit with his thumb. Enjoying the pressure, I closed my eyes, and his other hand slid beneath my T-shirt, pulling down the cup of my bra and palming my breast. He moulded it with his hand, then plucked my beaded nipple, causing me to shudder, ever closer to orgasm. His thumb flicked lazily back and forth. I opened my eyes just as I was about to come, locked gazes with Lee, and shook as pleasure overtook me.
“So fucking beautiful,” he repeated, devouring me with his stare.
Once my orgasm faded, I snuggled close to him, breathing in his scent. His hand was still on my breast, and he absentmindedly massaged it as we sat there in the afterglow.
I was disappointed when he gently moved me, helping us both to stand, and said, “I should get you h
ome.”
I wanted to pout and complain like a child, wanted to beg him to take me right there on the roof, but I had to maintain some measure of decorum. So instead I nodded and followed him back down to the kitchen, where I’d left my jacket and handbag.
I was standing by the counter, gathering my things, when I felt his heat at my back.
“Ah, fuck taking it slow,” said Lee, his hands at my waist. I gasped when he pushed my skirt up again, this time pulling my underwear off and stuffing it in his pocket. All of a sudden I was reminded of our first time, in the dark of the crowded nightclub, absorbing one another like it was our last night on earth. We’d been so desperate for each other back then, had spent so long in a dance, playing a game without any set rules or guidelines.
Lee’s hand clutched my neck, his mouth at my ear as he asked, “Do you want me?”
“Yes,” I whimpered.
His hold on me wasn’t gentle, and I savoured the hint of pain. With his other hand, he undid his belt and shoved down his jeans. When I felt his warm cock brush my arse, I arched my spine, seeking. His breath stuttered out of him, like he was having a hard time keeping it together.
“So perfect,” he growled right before he gave me a light slap on the bottom.
“I need you. Now,” I breathed, my voice airy and light.
His hands roamed up my back, removing my bra and letting it drop unceremoniously to the floor. Everywhere he touched me, I shivered. When he cupped my bottom with both hands, his thumb slipping into the crease and smoothing over a forbidden place, I shuddered, my eyes fluttering closed.
His cock brushed my entrance teasingly, hands gripping me now as he pushed inside in one hard stroke. When he was embedded deep in me he stilled, his mouth on my nape, planting wet little kisses that got me going even more.
We were both still standing, the sensation more intense that way. Lee’s hips began to move, hammering in and out quickly as he unleashed his need for me. One hand came up to mould my breast, the other spread out flat on my stomach, holding me in place. I arched my spine, letting him in as deep as he could go.