Three
Ziggy Played Guitar
I ran my hands under the hot tap for long minutes, until my shivering subsided. When I emerged from the bathroom, Liam was gone, and with a relieved sigh I went and clocked in for my shift. He didn’t show up again, but I did catch a few questioning glances from my boss. Lee was obviously wondering what was going on between me and his brother.
This fact was confirmed when he approached me during my break. “Saw you and Liam earlier. What was that about?”
No one could ever accuse Lee Cross of beating around the bush.
I shrugged. “I think we might be friends.”
Lee’s lips twitched, like he wanted to smile. “You don’t seem too happy about that.”
“Yeah well, I didn’t get much say in the matter.” And honestly, I wasn’t sure if he still wanted to be my friend after how I behaved this morning.
“Sounds about right. He’s a stubborn one is our Liam. Kind of the silent, deep thinker of the family. When he picks someone, a person to be one of his people, it’s a big deal. Means he sees something in you. He’s had the same best mate since he was five. Bloke named Gary, nice guy, little bit of dry bastard but he’s a decent sort.”
“Right.”
Lee studied me. “Can’t remember the last time he took interest in someone.”
“Uh huh.”
“Iris, are you feeling okay? You look a little peaky.”
“I’ll have you know I was born with this delightful, sickly pallor.” I hoped my attempt at humour might keep him off the scent, but like his brother, Lee was very perceptive.
He didn’t leave me be. Instead he kept on looking at me, then asked. “You ever sort out those living arrangements of yours?”
My heart thudded and a sick feeling of dread filled me. “Not yet.”
Don’t sack me, please don’t sack me.
Lee arched brow. “Been staying with a friend?”
“Something like that.”
Silence fell. I wanted to go eat my lunch but I couldn’t afford to be rude.
“Looking for somewhere to rent?” Lee went on.
I nodded. “Yeah, it’s hard to find somewhere affordable in London. And even when you do, you’re up against fifty other people vying for the same spot.”
“There’s a room going spare at mine,” he said and I immediately waved him off.
“You’ve already done enough for me.”
“You didn’t let me finish. I’ve been thinking of renting it out for a while now, so why not to you? You’re one of my hardest workers and I trust you, Iris.”
My chest ached. He was being too nice to me. I didn’t know how to take it. Still, the idea of moving into Lee’s, of having a warm, safe place to sleep at night sounded like heaven. My voice was a little choked when I replied, “Let me think about it, okay?”
“Sure. You think about it. Just don’t think too long,” he said with a kind smile before leaving me to my lunch.
All through my break, my head was filled with thoughts, the main one being, if I did take Lee up on his offer, that would mean Liam and I would be living under the same roof. The idea was both thrilling and terrifying. It scared me mainly because Liam was the first person in forever who’d managed to break past my walls. I could only imagine how easy it would be to fall for him. And then, what if things went sour and we still had to be housemates? That wouldn’t be a pleasant situation for anyone.
Needing a break from my meandering thoughts, I pulled out the dog-eared copy of Great Expectations I’d been reading and nestled into the story as I ate. I really liked Pip, could relate to him since we were both orphans. Both alone in the world. It felt nice to know I wasn’t the only one, even if he was a fictional character.
It was coming to the end of my shift when I heard Liam’s voice out in the restaurant. I swore I could pick him out from a thousand chattering souls, his cadence deep and distinctive.
“You like him, don’t you?” said Bowie. He sat perched on the edge of the counter, Ziggy Stardust today.
“Get down from there. I’m trying to work,” I scolded. He plucked a wet dish from my rubber-gloved hand and set it down.
“Now I’m helping.” He grinned.
“Is it so boring in the after-life that you’d rather be here helping me scrub dishes?” I questioned.
“It can be rather dull up there, yes, but I came to make sure you were still alive after last night’s debacle.”
“Of course I’m alive. If I wasn’t you would’ve seen me make an appearance in your neck of the woods.”
Bowie raised his hands in the air. “How am I to know you weren’t headed for warmer climes?”
I splashed some washing up liquid suds at him. “Thanks for the vote of confidence.”
“It’s always a possibility.”
“Don’t you have some songs to be writing? I must admit, of all the different phases you’ve gone through, this is my least favourite.”
He shot me a self-deprecating look. “You obviously haven’t heard my stuff from the late nineties.”
“Okay, maybe death is better than your Hours album,” I allowed.
Bowie glanced at the clock and met my put down with one of his own. “Looks like it’s home time for you. Oh wait, you don’t have a home.”
“Very funny. Pick on my misery, why don’t you.”
He smiled. “You know I love you really.”
I smiled right back at him. “And you will always be my most treasured idol.”
I packed up my things and clocked out, not looking forward to the night ahead. I still hadn’t had time to buy a new sleeping bag, but it wasn’t like I had anywhere to sleep either. Lee’s offer was looking more and more appealing by the minute.
As I made my way out through the front of the restaurant, I could feel Liam’s eyes on me. He sat by the bar in his uniform and appeared to have just finished eating. Was it my imagination or was he spending a lot more time here than usual? We made brief eye contact before I stepped out into the cold. Even though I’d managed to warm up during my shift, a chill still lingered in my bones. It was only going to get worse tonight.
I walked in the direction of the nearest Argos, hoping they might have a sale on. I hadn’t gotten far from The Grub Hut when I sensed someone walking close behind me. Too close. I turned my head a little to the side and caught sight of a familiar uniform.
I swung around.
“Are you following me now?”
Liam stopped in place. “I want to apologise for earlier. I overstepped my bounds and I’m sorry. I’m just concerned about you, Iris.”
His apology took me off guard. I stared at him and saw genuine remorse in his eyes. He didn’t really have anything to be remorseful for. I was the arsehole here, pushing him away when all he wanted to do was help. Be a friend.
“You have nothing to be sorry for.”
The expression he gave me said he agreed but he was going to stand by his apology all the same. There was something about that uniform that made him seem older, authoritative, but I knew he couldn’t be any more than twenty-five.
“Can we go somewhere and talk?” Liam asked. “Starbucks or something?”
I didn’t have much time before the shops started to close and that meant another night of icy cold. I felt rude saying no to him, but I didn’t have any other choice. “I can’t. I, uh, have some errands to run.”
“Then I’ll come with you. I’m off duty now anyway and we can talk while you run your errands.”
I didn’t know what to say to that. Deep down, I really wanted Liam as a friend, even if it was dangerous. And I knew if I pushed him away again I’d lose him. People could only put themselves out there so many times. “Okay then,” I said and swallowed nervously.
A small smile touched his lips, but there was still an edge of concern in them. He was still thinking of the state I’d been in his morning. He confirmed as much when he commented, “You look much better now than you did this morning.”
&nbs
p; “Yeah, I feel it.” Just barely. I was still exhausted since I hadn’t gotten a wink of sleep and had completed a full day’s work.
He eyed me closely. “Tired?”
“Mm-hmm.”
“Lee told me about the offer he made you.”
My pulse thrummed. “He did, did he?”
Liam nodded. “Yeah, and I think you should take him up on it. You’ll like it at our gaf. Got an eighty-inch flat-screen TV in the living room.”
“How very garish.”
“Hey! Don’t knock it until you’ve tried it.” He chuckled. “It’s like having a private cinema in the comfort of your own home.”
“And just think there are people out there who don’t even own a television,” I chided.
Liam nudged me in the side. “I’m not bragging. I’m trying to sell you on the idea of moving in with us, that’s all.”
“I know.”
“So, have you made a decision?”
I blew breath out through my mouth and looked around. “People probably think you’re arresting me.”
Liam frowned. “How do you reckon that?”
I gestured to myself and laughed. “Just look at me; black hoodie, dirty hair, tattoos, mean face. I’ve got criminal written all over me.”
He stopped and stood in front of me, his expression gentle. “That’s not what I see.”
His words made my throat clog as I stared at him head-on. “What do you see?”
“Intriguing fashion sense, hair so black it’s almost blue, skin that’s a work of art, gorgeous face. No, strike that. Beautiful fucking face. Sad eyes.”
I almost gasped at what he said, trying my hardest to maintain a neutral expression while my heart wanted to soar right out of my body. No one had ever complimented me like that. Not ever. I wasn’t the sort of woman who swooned, but right then I could definitely go for some swooning.
I looked to the ground. “Why are you so nice to me?”
Liam’s fingers touched my chin and tilted my head up so I was looking at him again. “Because I like you. And because for some reason I desperately want to make those sad eyes of yours happy.”
“Is Mother Theresa a distant relative of yours?”
“Nope. Though my grandad used to say we were related to the Crays.”
I couldn’t help it, I laughed. “I wouldn’t go bragging about that, especially not in your line of work.”
“And a captivating smile. Add that to the list,” Liam murmured, thumb brushing across my chin once before he dropped his hand.
A moment passed where we just stared at one another. When I couldn’t take much more of the intensity radiating off him I blinked and looked away.
“I really wasn’t lying when I said I had things to do. We need to get moving.”
He made a gesture with his hand. “After you.”
I turned and started walking again, noticing a few weird glances thrown our way. We definitely looked strange together. Liam the respectable uniformed officer and me the scruffy twenty-year-old dirtbag.
When we arrived at Argos there were just a few minutes before they were closing. Liam stood browsing a display while I made a beeline for the catalogues. I’d found the cheapest sleeping bag available when he came up behind me. Crap. I’d been hoping to make my purchase and shove it in my backpack without him noticing what I was buying.
“Iris, why are you buying a sleeping bag?” he asked. The note of anger in his voice made me nervous.
I kept my eyes on the catalogue as I lied, “I’m going on a camping trip with some friends next weekend.”
“Iris.”
“Hmmm?”
“Please be honest with me.”
“I have to go put this order in before they close the tills,” I said, ignoring his plea and heading to the other end of the store. Liam followed heavy on my heels. He didn’t say anything but when I took a quick peek at him he appeared to be grinding his jaw in irritation.
“Somebody’s got a bee in their bonnet,” I said in an effort to lighten the mood. “Time of the month, Constable?”
Liam didn’t answer, his silence creating a horrible tension between us. I didn’t understand why he was so angry. It wasn’t like he was the one who had to sleep rough. By the time my order was brought out I was about ready to make an exit. He seemed furious and I was too exhausted and hungry to deal with that kind of attention.
I stopped when we got outside the shop. “Well, I better get going.”
Liam looked me dead in the eye. “I’ll walk you home.”
“There’s no need,” I said, attempting to brush him off. “I don’t want to put you out.”
“You’re not putting me out. I want to walk you.” There was a steel in his voice that brooked no argument and I started to panic.
“Seriously, Liam—”
“Iris, I’m walking you home, so get moving.”
I nodded nervously, and started walking, trying to think of a plan. I could lead him to a block of flats, hope like hell someone let me inside and wait until he left. Yes, that might work. I tried to think of a place that would be easy to get into. There was a block of flats I used to hang out in when I was living at Maude’s. It wasn’t fancy and the security was non-existent, so it was likely I wouldn’t have a problem getting inside.
A couple of minutes passed and Liam still hadn’t breathed a word. “You’re very quiet for someone who claimed they wanted to talk to me.”
“I wanted to talk to you about moving into our place, but I know if I bring it up you’ll only change the subject.”
I didn’t have an answer for that. Instead I eyed him up and down and asked, “How old are you anyway?”
There was the tiniest twitch in his left eye that indicated my continuing to be obstinate was truly bothering him. “Twenty-four,” he replied, voice hard.
“Huh. That makes you four years older than me. When’s your birthday?”
Liam arched an eyebrow. “You planning on buying me a present?”
I shot him a small smile. “Maybe.”
“June 27th.”
“No way! Mine’s June 30th. That makes us both cancers.”
He thawed a little. “Is that why we seem to argue so much, because we’re so alike?”
“Maybe. Lee told me you’re stubborn. I’m stubborn, too.”
He gave a low chuckle. “No shit.” A pause as he glanced at me sideways. “What else did Lee say?”
“He said you haven’t had a girlfriend in a long while. Been going through a dry spell?”
I was lying – sort of. Lee hadn’t said that in so many words, but it was implied, and call me a masochist but I really wanted to know about Liam’s love life.
He shook his head and chuckled some more. “I’ll have to talk to him about his meddling. Oh, and not having girlfriend doesn’t mean it’s been a dry spell,” he went on, eyeing me hotly.
“True. I’m sure the ladies go wild for this uniform,” I teased and reached up to tug on his collar.
His eyes darkened. “Some of them do. What about you?”
“What about me?”
“You like my uniform?”
I hesitated. How was I suddenly so warm when I’d been freezing all day? He was flirting with me, that much was clear. I just honestly didn’t get it. I imagined the sorts of women who came onto him in nightclubs and bars, clean, nice-smelling women in tight dresses and fancy shoes. And here I was the exact opposite, all grungy and in desperate need of soap and water.
“It covers your body and prevents you from walking around naked, so I guess it does what it’s supposed to do,” I finally answered, mustering a casual tone.
Liam shook his head and looked up at the sky. “You’re a master at avoiding the true question, do you know that?”
“Actually, I have no idea what you’re talking about,” I replied innocently and nodded to the building in front of us. “This is me, by the way.”
Liam studied the block of flats like it was a shifty-looking geez
er passing clear little plastic bags of powder around at a house party. His attention came back to me. “You live here?”
“Sure do.”
“What’s your flat number?”
Shit. I scrambled through my brain. “Thirty-six.”
Liam stepped up to the door entry system and scanned the row of buttons. “These only go up to thirty.”
I slammed my hand to my forehead. “Did I say thirty-six? I meant twenty-six. Yep, flat number twenty-six, that’s where I live, don’t wear it out.” Oh, God, somebody tape my mouth shut, please.
Liam stared at me so hard I swear he was going to burst a blood vessel. I thought he was going to start arguing with me, but instead he grabbed my hand and began leading me away from the flats. “Um, where are we going?”
“To my house.”
“But—”
“I swear to God, Iris, if you lie to me one more time I’ll arrest you.”
“You can’t arrest me. I haven’t broken any laws,” I protested.
“I’ll think of something.”
“But then you’d be breaking the law.”
He shot me a dark look, and even though it was supposed to be threatening, it was kinda sexy. “I’ve done it before. I can do it again.”
That shut me right up. Liam threw up his hand to hail a taxi and before I knew it he was ushering me into the back of a black cab.
“Evening, Constable,” the cabbie greeted. “Where to?”
Liam rambled off his address then sat back and avoided looking at me. I continued to stare him down. “This is kidnapping,” I said in a quiet voice, not wanting the driver to hear.
He let out a long, tired breath and turned his body to mine. When our eyes met in the dark cab, his seemed to plead with me to just let him take care of me.
We both know you need help, so let me help you, they said.
I like you, Iris. Stop fighting this, they said.
I’m afraid of what might happen to you if you don’t come with me, they said.
Maybe I was so used to the cold that I didn’t recognise the offer of warmth when it was staring me right in the face. Or maybe I really was too stubborn to accept charity when it was presented to me. Too proud.
I stuck out my chin and swallowed down that pride. Swallowed and swallowed until I could finally see the light. Accepting the offer of a room to rent from Liam and his brother didn’t mean I was weak. It meant I was a survivor. I always told myself I wasn’t above taking things for free, even if I hadn’t earned them. Babies took things for free. They took the protection of the grown-ups who bore them. That’s how they turned into adults who knew how to take care of themselves. And it wasn’t like I wasn’t prepared to pay rent. I’d earn my keep, just as if I was renting a room anywhere else.