“Jack,” I whispered, and moved my leg so our thighs touched.
“What is it, flower?” he asked, just as quietly.
“I’m sorry.”
His lips turned down sadly. “I know you are. I know.”
An agonising moment of quiet passed before Matilda spoke. “You know what I want to do tonight? I want to go dancing. We should all go to a club or something.”
Jay chuckled. “Okay, Watson. Your wish is my command. Admit it, you just want to see me bust some sexy moves on the dance floor.”
“Well, what’s the point in having a husband who can dance if I’m not going to take advantage of it every now and again?”
Jay stared fondly down at his wife before looking to Jack. “What about you, bro? You like to bust a move, too?”
Jack looked uncomfortable for a second, so I answered for him. “Um, have you seen him on stage? Of course he likes to dance, but it’s more like a tribal sort of thing.” I slid my pinky around Jack’s beneath the table, and he let me.
“It’s actually called Poi dancing,” Jack explained gruffly. “It’s Maori, from New Zealand.”
I rubbed my pinky along his, and a moment later he gripped my hand tight, giving it a squeeze. The emotions I was feeling in that moment were almost too much to bear.
“Oh, yeah, and where did you learn how to do that?” Jay probed.
Jack seemed embarrassed now. “I took classes.”
Matilda leaned forward with interest. “In Dublin? Really? I didn’t know you could learn that kind of thing back home.”
Jack’s brow crinkled slightly as he stuck his fork into his linguine. “It was combined with a belly dancing class.” He paused, frowning, but then his lips twitched. “Don’t laugh.”
Despite Jack’s instruction, Jay let out a big chuckle, and Matilda giggled. “That’s nothing to be embarrassed about. I bet the ladies in the class were drooling all over themselves to have you there.”
“Hey!” Jay protested, scowling impishly at his wife.
“What?” Matilda exclaimed. “Jack grew up well. Just like you did. Never let it be said that the McCabe/Fields brothers don’t bulk up once they hit puberty.”
“I can’t believe you’re the same girl I knew as a kid,” said Jack with a smile. “I remember you used to give me chocolate chip cookies all the time. In my head, I called you Cookie Girl.”
“In my head, I call her something else,” Jay put in flirtatiously, and Matilda whacked him on the shoulder.
“You always have to lower the tone,” she complained, but she was still grinning.
Jay flashed his teeth at her as he smiled. “You love it.”
For a second I forgot the tension between Jack and me, and soaked in the fun-loving atmosphere that simply radiated off this couple. They were so enjoyable to be around, and I was sure it was their warmth that was lessening Jack’s distance from me. I’d eaten way too much bread and olive oil, mostly out of nerves, so when it was time for dessert, I didn’t have much room left. I turned to Jack, and he must have sensed my attention because his eyes came to mine.
“Do you want to share something? I don’t have enough room left for a full dessert,” I said, rubbing my hand over my tummy. Jack’s gaze heated up and wandered to my stomach before rising to my chest. The dress I wore was a little bit low-cut and showed what I thought was a classy amount of cleavage.
“What do you want, flower?” he murmured quietly.
My attention flickered to the menu. “Um, the tiramisu looks good.”
“Then order it, and we’ll share.”
I noticed Matilda giving me an encouraging smile, and I grew self-conscious. Still, I craved Jack’s touch like a drug, and while the brothers chatted and we waited for dessert to arrive, I tentatively leaned my head on his shoulder. After an emotional two days I was tired, and I really just wished we could go somewhere and be alone. Talk things out. I heard him let out a long sigh, and before I knew it, his big arm came down around my shoulders and pulled me in tight.
“Awww!” said Matilda in delight the moment she saw. “You two make such a beautiful couple.”
Jack gave his usual uncomfortable grunt, and I glanced away shyly.
“No, seriously,” she went on. “You both look so striking together. Your colouring’s so light, and Jack’s is so dark.”
I savoured the heat of Jack’s body and hastened a glance at him from beneath my lashes. I wasn’t expecting it when he leaned in, brought his mouth to my ear, and whispered, “She should see us when we fuck.”
My eyes went wide, and I swear every hair on my body was standing on end. Jay was watching us with amusement, and Matilda looked like she was dying to know what Jack had said. I for one was glad that she hadn’t. It would have been mortifying. I was grateful for the distraction when the dessert arrived. Jack handed me a spoon, our fingers grazing when I took it. He watched as I dug in. I could only manage three or four mouthfuls before my stomach started to complain, so I let him finish the rest.
After dinner Matilda used her phone to search for the nearest dance club. Apparently, when Jack told Marina about reuniting with his long-lost brother, she’d insisted he take some time off to be with him, so we didn’t need to hurry back for the show. Since Turin had been such a successful stop for the circus, I’d made enough money painting faces to justify taking another night off, too. Besides, there was absolutely nothing right then that would make me leave Jack’s side. He might have warmed up to me over dinner, but I still wanted to apologise properly. Explain that I never had any ill intentions by sending Jay his letter.
The club we ended up in was loud and crowded. A couple of men gave me interested looks, but they quickly aimed that interest elsewhere when they saw Jack standing behind me. I hated to admit it, but I loved that he was being all possessive. It meant he still cared.
After we all shared a drink at the bar, Jay led Matilda to the dance floor, leaving Jack and me alone for the first time that night. We stood side by side, watching the gyrating bodies, and I didn’t know what to say. It wasn’t like he’d be able to hear me anyway, since the music was loud enough to wake the dead.
I felt his hot, humid breath on my neck when he leaned down and shouted over the music, “I’m going outside for a smoke.”
“I’ll come with you,” I shouted back, and followed him out the side of the club and into an alleyway. A couple of people hung about, smoking and chatting in Italian. I stood close to the wall and watched as Jack pulled a pack of smokes from his pocket, then used a match to light one up. He took a drag, still holding the match in his hand as the smoke rose off it slowly and drifted into the air. His eyes came to me, and they held unmistakable heat. I knew we were both remembering the same thing, our first night together, making love out in the open. He’d used a hot match against my nipples, awakening a hunger inside me I didn’t even know was there.
He seemed taken off guard when I closed the distance between us to stand before him. Our eyes met, and there was a question in his when I took the match from him and brought it to my chest. Dragging it over the rise of my breasts, I gasped when its heat scorched my skin and heard Jack emit a strangled groan.
“What are you doing, Lille?”
“I miss you.”
He dragged his hand through his hair. “I miss you, too.”
“I’m so sorry for betraying your trust, Jack. You’re the most important person in my life, and I’ll do anything to win your forgiveness.” I continued running the match over my skin, and my nipples were rock hard beneath my bra.
His voice was strained. “Will you…could you stop doing that? It’s fucking distracting.”
“I like distracting you,” I murmured.
“You don’t have to try to distract me, Lille. It already comes natural,” he answered, his voice thick with warning. I dropped the match and let out a breath.
“You seem happy with Jay,” I ventured.
Jack tilted his head, staring up at the sky as he spo
ke. “I am happy. I’m still trying to get my head around it all. It’s kind of surreal. It’s like there’s this whole back story to our family that I never even knew about.”
I nodded. “Yeah, Matilda and I talked last night. She told me all about it.” I paused, trying to figure out what to say next. “I shouldn’t have gone behind your back,” I told him sadly. “I should have figured out a better way.”
“You did what you thought was right. I’m not gonna lie, Lille. I’m still fucking angry that you stole the letter. You can’t just go around meddling in people’s lives like that, but I’ll admit in this case, the end result was a good one. It wrecks me to know you took such a huge risk for me, and at the same time it makes me want to strangle someone, because shit, my words were private, and you read them.”
I didn’t disagree with a single thing he’d said. “I’m too curious. I really didn’t read it with any kind of ulterior motives. I just wanted to know you so badly. I had such strong feelings for you even then, and I had a moment of weakness. But Jack, the pain in what you wrote wasn’t something I could ignore. I cared about you too much to just let you go on suffering, so I put myself on the line. I thought that if I could reunite you with your family, then it would be worth it, even it meant you’d hate me after. Now I understand that the way I thought was silly, because I can’t handle losing you. You’re in my skin now, Jack. You’re the love of my life, and I need you so much I can’t breathe with it.”
A solitary tear streamed down my face, and I cursed myself for crying. I was being an emotional fool, making a show of myself in a dirty alley outside a nightclub. But then Jack was in front of me, his hard body pressing into mine, caging me in warmth as he brought his hand to my cheek and wiped away the tear.
“Flower,” he murmured, taking my chin in his hand, his fingers grazing my throat, “if you think I could let you go, then you seriously underestimate the kind of man I am.”
His words made me crumble. I was gone. A mess. And when he brought his mouth to mine for an intense kiss full of unspoken words and promises, I almost lost the ability to hold myself upright. Jack’s tongue slid inside my mouth and he let out a feral growl, backing me up into the wall almost painfully. His mouth captured mine, possessed every inch of my insides, causing tingles to radiate down my spine. I moaned and he swallowed it, gripping my neck in his tight grasp and pressing his hardness into my belly.
“I can’t be gentle tonight, Lille,” he said, his voice a carnal warning, and I whimpered.
“I don’t want you to be.”
“You need to be punished.”
“Punish me, then.”
Before I could think another thought, his hand was under the hem of my dress, smoothing up my thigh and seeking refuge inside my underwear. His long fingers opened me quickly, rubbing down my slit, finding my entrance, and plunging in without preamble. I gasped at how perfectly he filled me. There were people only feet away from us, but no street lights shone on our unlit corner. We were shrouded in the privacy of darkness.
I yelped in surprise when Jack’s mouth came down on my neck, his sharp teeth grazing my skin before biting down hard. My entire body shook against him, my breaths coming out choppy and laboured.
“Jack,” I breathed.
“I told you I couldn’t be gentle, flower,” he ground out, fingers pumping while his thumb found my clit. The pressure was delicious, perfect, and I knew it wasn’t going to be long before I came.
“I want…to…ask you a question.”
His tongue licked at the shell of my ear. “Then ask.”
“Why do you call me flower?”
I didn’t have to look to know he was smiling that glorious smile, the one that lit up his face from the inside out.
“Because when I touch you, you fucking bloom,” he answered, and it was right on his final word that I came with a startling intensity. His fingers left me and rubbed along my folds. “I’ll never get tired of the way you feel. This is mine,” he grunted into my ear, but I had no answering words. All I could do was nod. When I finally found my voice, I let out a breathy, “Yours,” and it felt like his entire body vibrated with approval. Just as he was setting my dress back to rights and I was nibbling at his neck, my face pressed into his hot skin, the door to the club opened, and someone stepped out.
A moment later I heard Jay call, “Jack, Lille, are you two out here?”
It only took a moment for him to spot us. I was still coming down from my orgasm, my body trembling against Jack’s as he held me in his arms. My hands were fisted in his shirt.
“There you are,” said Jay, a knowing lilt to his voice. I glanced at him for a moment to see him smirking to high heavens. Jack shook his head at his brother’s cheery demeanour and said, “We’ll be in in a minute.”
Jay raised his hands in the air. “Hey, no rush. Matilda’s in the bathroom, powdering her nose or whatever shit women do in bathrooms. She’s been gone a while, so I was wondering if Lille could go check on her, but I see she’s otherwise indisposed at the moment.” I bristled with embarrassment, self-conscious that Jay could see the “I just came” flush to my cheeks. I drew in a deep breath and ran my hands down my dress.
“It’s okay. I can go find her,” I said, and slid out of the cage of Jack’s body. I tried to put one foot in front of the other, which was difficult given my current state, but I just about managed to reach the door. Jay held it open, Jack heavy on my heels, and I stepped back inside to the throbbing beat of the music. Just before heading to the bathroom, I turned around to see Jay reach out and ruffle Jack’s hair, like he was congratulating him. Jack half scowled, half grinned at his brother and gave him a little shove. It made my heart squeeze so see them acting like such siblings, and I hurried on to find Matilda. When I reached the bathroom, she was standing by the sinks, washing her hands.
“Lille,” she said when she saw me. “Oh, you look like a woman who just got what she wanted. I take it you and Jack are back on track, then?”
I looked away sheepishly before replying, “Yeah, I think we are. I really should thank you for inviting me to dinner. I’ll be honest, when I first realised it was a setup, I kind of wanted to strangle you for a second, but I know now that your heart was in the right place.”
She seemed taken aback by my words and gave me a shy smile. “You’re welcome. I’m happy to help.”
A moment of quiet elapsed while Matilda reached inside her purse and retrieved some money to give to the bathroom attendant. I stood there, suddenly overcome with the need to embrace her. She must have noticed, because when she looked at me, she asked, “What?”
“This is going to sound weird, but can I give you a hug?”
She laughed. “Of course you can.”
I went to her, wrapping my arms around her small frame. I guessed that after all we’d been through reuniting Jack and Jay, I felt a sense of kinship towards her.
“I suppose we’re sort of sisters-in-law now,” she said warmly.
“Well, if Jack and I ever marry, it won’t be for a long time, but yeah, I suppose you could call us that.”
Matilda grinned as she pulled away. “Hmm, I don’t think you need a ring on your finger with Jack. The way he looks at you says it all. You’re it for him.”
“It’s a little early to say that,” I hastened, but she cut me off. The shine in her eyes told me she was tipsy, which explained the soppy sentiment that came out of her next.
“Oh, Lille, there’s never too early when true love is involved.”
Her words made me grin, because she’d definitely had a few. I let her lead me back out into the club. We didn’t immediately find the brothers, but a song came on that Matilda liked, so I let her lead me onto the dance floor. We danced for a minute or two, the crush of the bodies surrounding us strangely liberating, when I felt familiar arms come around my middle.
“I can still smell you on my hand,” Jack growled into my ear, his voice sending delicious spikes of awareness right to my core.
Our bodies moved to the beat, and I looked to see Jay join Matilda, taking her into his arms and doing a cute little dancey hug.
“Wait ’til I get you home tonight — you’re gonna fucking ache in the morning.”
I twisted in his hold to face him, my breasts pushing into his hard chest as we continued to dance. I trembled, enjoying the friction between our bodies.
“I’m already aching for you,” I said, going up on my tiptoes to shout into his ear.
His lips tipped up at the edges as he swept my hair over my shoulder and gripped the back of my neck. “What do you want me to do to you, flower?”
The loudness of the club, the heat, the sweat, and Jack’s potent masculinity all combined to make me brave, more open with my desires. “I want your tongue between my legs,” I said, and I felt rather than heard the rumble emanate from Jack’s chest. “I want you to make love to me so hard I end up sore.”
His other arm squeezed tighter around my waist, and when I met his eyes, they practically blazed with his desire for me. I could feel him hardening again, and it gave me a little thrill to know my words had done that to him, to know there were hundreds of people surrounding us. Jack used his grip on my neck to tilt my head back, and before I knew it, he was sinking his tongue deep inside my mouth, moving it in slow delicious thrusts that made me envision his cock inside me.
By the time we came up for air, the DJ was playing a completely different song, and Jay was tapping Jack on the shoulder.
“I think it’s time we get out of there,” he shouted as we followed him to the bar, where it was quieter. Jack held my hand in his. “How about we head out to the circus? I want to meet the people you live with.”
Jack nodded, and a couple of minutes later we were huddled in a taxi. Jay sat in the front and began doing a card trick for the driver. Matilda scolded him for distracting the man, saying we’d all end up in a crash. I watched in fascination, the side of my body moulded to Jack’s as Jay shuffled a deck of cards in a way I’d never seen before. At least not in real life.