Page 4 of Yolo


  mad maddie:

  but I know. I’m faster with my thumbs. it’s weird.

  mad maddie:

  anywayz! back to your crap!

  zoegirl:

  scatologist.

  mad maddie:

  you just made that word up, college girl. I like it.

  mad maddie:

  but if we cld stay on topic, plz . . . ?

  mad maddie:

  I move my stuff to new dorm room tomorrow, and then on Wednesday classes start. time’s a-tickin, things are happening! so I need yr answer, toots.

  zoegirl:

  my answer to what?

  mad maddie:

  such a coy mistress! I need you to sign the winsome threesome yolo pact for reals, and not just in theory like you said before.

  zoegirl:

  omigosh, you’re still thinking about that?

  mad maddie:

  yes, cuz it’s important. Angela and I are both in, but it won’t count unless you are too.

  mad maddie:

  *throws Zoe a Sharpie* *throws Zoe copy of pact written in fancy calligraphy writing*

  mad maddie:

  now gimme yr John Adams

  zoegirl:

  um . . . it’s John Hancock

  mad maddie:

  no, it’s a purple Sharpie, cuz I know how you feel about purple. I’m showing you the love, yo!

  zoegirl:

  you are a weirdo. but thank you, because it shows you know me.

  zoegirl:

  no one here KNOWS me, Mads.

  mad maddie:

  and that’s why our pact matters. it’ll make us get out there and do stuff, and when we get out there and do stuff, we’ll get to know ppl—and they’ll get to know us.

  mad maddie:

  just promise already. sheesh. don’t you want to make yer Auntie Maddie happy?

  zoegirl:

  ok, fine.

  mad maddie:

  that doesn’t sound very enthusiastic.

  zoegirl:

  ok, not fine.

  mad maddie:

  whoa there! I’ll take yr unenthusiastic fine!

  mad maddie:

  *kisses signed contract* *seals contract with wax and locks in fireproof safe*

  mad maddie:

  thank you, hot stuff. now skedaddle. go forth and be awesome!

  Tues, Sept 24, 2:02 PM E.D.T.

  SnowAngel:

  your roomie! you must tell me! horns or no horns?

  mad maddie:

  I’ve known her for all of an hour, Angela. most of which has been spent unpacking and stuff.

  SnowAngel:

  so? first impression, then. five words. go!

  mad maddie:

  hmmm . . .

  SnowAngel:

  doesn’t count as a word. start over.

  mad maddie:

  pretty

  mad maddie:

  confident

  mad maddie:

  from Santa Barbara

  SnowAngel:

  LAME USE OF LAST THREE WORDS. Zara being from Santa Barbara tells me nothing.

  mad maddie:

  um, beg to differ. it tells you she’s from Santa Barbara, fool. also, it’s kind of like you being from Atlanta and going to UGA.

  SnowAngel:

  ???

  mad maddie:

  she’s local. ish. she’s from California, not out of state like me. she already knows every girl in our suite.

  SnowAngel:

  is that good or bad?

  mad maddie:

  neither. it just is.

  SnowAngel:

  well, do you like her?

  mad maddie:

  sure. why not?

  mad maddie:

  she’s kinda loud, tho

  SnowAngel:

  hahahaha! you, Maddie, are loud. for you to say that Zara’s loud . . .

  mad maddie:

  she has a tattoo on her arm of one of those little Japanese cats with its paw held up.

  SnowAngel:

  cute or fugly?

  mad maddie:

  it’s cool.

  SnowAngel:

  describe the rest of her, other than “pretty.”

  mad maddie:

  urrggh

  mad maddie:

  cutoffs, tank top, tattoo. beaded bracelet wrapped many times around her wrist. toe ring. very friendly. but like I said, it’s been all of an hour.

  mad maddie:

  also, the door to our room is open. everyone’s doors are open. is kind of a free-for-all. I’ll tell you more once things have settled down!

  Tues, Sept 24, 12:00 PM P.D.T.

  mad maddie:

  ok, so that was Zara who came into the room just now—did you see her? I tried to subtly aim my laptop screen in her direction, but then I realized that if she glanced over, she’d totally be able to tell what I was doing. and then I accidentally hung up on you instead of just turning off visual. sorry!

  zoegirl:

  no problem

  mad maddie:

  and I switched to messaging cuz I don’t want her first impression of me to be that I’m still glued to my high school besties.

  mad maddie:

  I don’t think I cld talk to you with her in the room, anyway. wld be too awkward.

  zoegirl:

  I only saw the back of her. she’s super tan.

  mad maddie:

  yeah, everyone is. and I’ve now learned that ALL the girls in my suite went to the same high school, including Zara.

  zoegirl:

  why isn’t she rooming with one of the girls she knows?

  mad maddie:

  cuz . . . she isn’t? our suite is like an apartment. there’s a kitchen, a bathroom, a hanging-out area, and four bedrooms, all of them doubles.

  mad maddie:

  but there are seven girls in the Santa Barbara group. seven plus me equals eight, so they drew straws to see who’d get the newbie.

  mad maddie:

  apparently Zara lost.

  zoegirl:

  zoegirl:

  Zara *won*, you mean.

  zoegirl:

  Zara didn’t actually say that, did she? about drawing straws and being the one who lost?

  mad maddie:

  nah, one of her other friends did, an uber-hip girl named Neesa.

  mad maddie:

  Neesa’s, like, the definition of California glam. skinny, gorgeous, mountain biker. earrings made out of beer cans. *that* girl—you know?

  zoegirl:

  here at Kenyon, it’s more like the Nerdy Girl Special. square-frame glasses, micro-bangs, retro Catholic schoolgirl skirts. they all have blogs with names like “Nerdy, Dirty, and Flirty.”

  zoegirl:

  should I start a blog?

  mad maddie:

  no

  zoegirl:

  ha

  zoegirl:

  but I need to do SOMETHING to distract me from missing Doug.

  zoegirl:

  do you miss Ian?

  mad maddie:

  what do you think

  mad maddie:

  I try not to, but of course I do.

  zoegirl:

  and I try not to miss Doug, but every day I epically fail.

  zoegirl:

  actually, I *don’t* try not to miss him. I’m not nearly as good at that stuff as you are.

  mad maddie:

  what stuff

  zoegirl:

  making the best of things. deciding how something should be and then doing whatever it takes to make it happen.

  mad maddie:

  I do that

  zoegirl:

  yes, and you know it.

  zoegirl:

  like with college. you chose Santa Cruz because it was new and different and far away. you came up with the whole yolo pact as a way of saying, “It’s up to us to make sure college is awesome, and so we will.” I admire that so much about you!

  mad maddie:

  hey,
you said yes to the yolo pact too.

  zoegirl:

  but it’s easier for you.

  zoegirl:

  you’re a force of nature! you’re Maddie!

  mad maddie:

  please

  zoegirl:

  it’s true.

  zoegirl:

  I, on the other hand, am just pathetic. everyone says college is supposed to be the time of our lives, but if that’s true, I’m in BIG trouble.

  mad maddie:

  oh, Zoe

  mad maddie:

  ((((((((((((HUGS))))))))))))

  mad maddie:

  listen. forget about Doug for a minute and think about Kenyon. just plain Kenyon, without the awful missing-your-boyfriend factor. what are some things you like about Kenyon?

  zoegirl:

  mad maddie:

  oh, c’mon. there have to be *some* good things.

  zoegirl:

  like what?

  mad maddie:

  I don’t know. the food? cuz I the Santa Cruz cafeterias with a mad passion. one swipe of my meal-plan card and I can have anything and everything I want.

  mad maddie:

  chicken alfredo? sure! chase it down with a cheeseburger and fries? why not?

  zoegirl:

  you’re making me feel ill. I would explode.

  mad maddie:

  even the salad bar rocks, cuz there is a cheese section, which means I can heap shredded cheddar on everything and still feel healthy. NOM NOM NOM.

  zoegirl:

  huh. do you put lettuce in these salads of yours?

  mad maddie:

  now it’s your turn. name something about college you like.

  zoegirl:

  hmm . . .

  zoegirl:

  I like my creative writing class. I like all my classes, even though the workload is insane.

  mad maddie:

  excellent start. keep going.

  zoegirl:

  and everyone here is smart. I like that.

  mad maddie:

  mad maddie:

  and . . . ?

  zoegirl:

  well, I’m kind of in love with the campus. I should have thought of that before. it’s so spread out and big and NOT high school. same with the town. I love walking around and exploring and discovering new places.

  mad maddie:

  I like that part too. high school was fun, but there were a lot of walls.

  zoegirl:

  yeah. and along those same lines, there are definitely things I like about living on my own. I like setting my own schedule and being in charge of my time and not having anyone nag me about homework.

  mad maddie:

  see?

  mad maddie:

  you’ve done some fine work here, Zo. keep it up!

  Wed, Sept 25, 11:01 AM E.D.T.

  zoegirl:

  really, Angela? REALLY???

  SnowAngel:

  what?

  zoegirl:

  your FB status. I do NOT approve!

  SnowAngel:

  oh. that. well—as I said—I’m not thrilled about it either.

  zoegirl:

  so don’t do it! if I told you, “Oh, and by the way, this afternoon I’m going to put on my bikini and let frat boys draw all over my body,” what would YOU say?

  SnowAngel:

  it isn’t my choice. I’m a pledge and we have to do whatever our sisters tell us to.

  zoegirl:

  not that you have any “problem areas” in the first place. but I’m sure some of the girls do, at least in the opinion of the frat boys, and how are they going to feel if some guy draws a circle on their thigh or whatever and writes “TOO FAT”?

  SnowAngel:

  and I repeat: I don’t want to do this either! IT’S NOT MY CHOICE.

  zoegirl:

  Angela, this is hazing. isn’t hazing against the law?

  SnowAngel:

  I know it sounds messed up. it IS messed up. but my world is different from yours, all right?

  zoegirl:

  how so?

  SnowAngel:

  omg. cuz I’m in the most popular sorority at one of the biggest party schools in the South. I kinda signed up for this, Zoe, so cld you maybe be supportive instead of trying to make me feel bad?

  zoegirl:

  but Angela . . .

  SnowAngel:

  on the plus side, there might be Jell-O shots.

  zoegirl:

  and that makes it better how . . . ?

  SnowAngel:

  it’s a bonding activity. that’s all it is, and I’m not going to be the whiner baby who gets uptight about it.

  SnowAngel:

  Zo?

  SnowAngel:

  you still there?

  zoegirl:

  I’m here. I just can’t think of anything to say.

  SnowAngel:

  well, thx for that confidence booster. what a pal.

  Wed, Sept 25, 10:44 PM E.D.T.

  SnowAngel:

  Zoe keeps calling me, but I’m not in the mood to talk to her, so I’m not answering. yes, I’m mature that way.

  SnowAngel:

  how was yr first day of classes?

  SnowAngel:

  no, screw that. how was rock climbing with Zara and the Esbees?

  mad maddie:

  the Esbees?

  SnowAngel:

  the Santa Barbara girls.

  mad maddie:

  ???

  SnowAngel:

  Santa Barbara.

  SnowAngel:

  S.B.

  SnowAngel:

  Esbees!

  mad maddie:

  ahhh. clever.

  SnowAngel:

  are they all that tan or did you use a filter on the pics you posted?

  mad maddie:

  I’m so sore I can’t walk. my knees are banged up, I tore off half a fingernail, and I didn’t know how to put my harness on or tie any of the special knots. Zara had to help me, and she was nice about it, but toward the end I cld tell she was getting impatient.

  SnowAngel:

  she’s the one who invited you. she’s not allowed to feel impatient.

  mad maddie:

  yeah, cuz that’s the way it works.

  mad maddie:

  she and her buds have all these inside jokes, and most of their convos are about ppl I don’t know. and they have these lewd nicknames for each other, like they call Neesa “Teesa” as in “cock teasa.” and they were kind of crazy out there, racing up the cliff and then doing these victory yells from the top. I’m not saying that’s BAD. it’s just . . . I don’t know.

  mad maddie:

  but who cares, right? I went rock climbing! yay, me!

  SnowAngel:

  yay, you! you’re such a stud!

  SnowAngel:

  do you think Zo read my most recent FB status? the one that said how the bikini thing turned out to be a total joke?

  mad maddie:

  did you go to a real frat house?

  SnowAngel:

  ???

  mad maddie:

  did you wear a real bikini?

  SnowAngel:

  yes, but there were no Sharpies, no blindfolds, and no body-flaw identification rituals.

  SnowAngel:

  we had to serve Jell-O shots off our bellies, THAT’S ALL IT TURNED OUT TO BE. and! for the record! tons of boys told me I looked hot in my bikini, and one guy said I had the best ass in the entire Zeta pledge class!

  mad maddie:

  um . . . that’s a good thing?

  SnowAngel:

  omg, crashing hard. g’night, sweet Mads, who unlike some ppl doesn’t make me feel like a ho!

  Thu, Sept 26, 8:44 AM P.D.T.

  mad maddie:

  cheezus christ, I did NOT need to see that.

  zoegirl:

  see what?

  mad maddie:

  Zara.

  mad maddie:

  squatting.

&nbs
p; mad maddie:

  pulling down her underwear.

  mad maddie:

  slapping on A PANTYLINER.

  mad maddie:

  in our room! in front of me! “la la la, don’t mind me, just putting on a pantyliner, la-di-da!”

  zoegirl:

  EW. inappropriate!

  mad maddie:

  agreed!

  mad maddie:

  but maybe I’m being a prude? maybe it’s like the bra thing, and how some of the girls go around braless, and I don’t want to notice, but I do?