“Me.” Jillian admitted cautiously.
Iggy broke into surprised laughter.
“Don’t smile!” Jillian snapped. “You’re a badass pirate. Tell Peter he’s a little girly boy in French.”
Iggy laughed again. “Why French?”
“Because you’ll need to think.”
He frowned in concentration. “Vous…etes…une petite…fille. Un singe. Mange…des…toilettes.”
“Yes, good,” Jillian said even though the sentences made little or no sense.
“Stupide…cul…fromage…singe.” He started to giggle.
“What?” Louise couldn’t help to ask since it sounded like he’d said “Stupid ass cheese monkey.”
“I’m only pulling a B in French,” Iggy said. “My parents are ready to beat me for it.”
Jillian glared at them both, which only made Iggy laugh harder.
“Captain Hook can not giggle,” Jillian stated firmly.
“Okay, okay, I got this.” Iggy forced himself to be serious. Surprisingly he managed to look very fierce and determined despite having been giggling a moment before. “Excusez-moi, je peux vous aider? Vous avez des cartes postales?”
It was the practice dialogue from last fall with a customer buying postcards in a shop.
After they’d gotten a full set of headshots of him being serious and menacing, he called over the boys standing in line, waiting for their turn at four square. He told them simply that they were doing a music video and reassured them that “It will be awesome.” He also suggested that they cast all the Lost Boys from “Peter’s” class and the pirates from “Hook’s” class.
They managed to get photos of all the boys before the bell rang, ending recess. Iggy walked with them down to their floor.
“You know,” he said before they split up to their own classrooms. “You two should talk more to people. You’re really cool but no one knows that.”
7: MUCH TO DO ABOUT NOTHING
>The twins fought boredom every waking moment. Trapped in the classroom eight hours, endlessly “taught” subjects they already knew, they had to invent ways to quietly keep themselves amused, or run the risk of going insane. It was odd but exhilarating to suddenly be overwhelmed by dozens of projects.
For the first time in Louise’s life, she found herself needing a to-do list. She opened a document on her home desktop and started one as she painted backgrounds for the Lost Boys music video.
She still needed to find a Pittsburgh phone directory. If they were really going to contact Alexander for help with the babies, she wanted to hear her older sister’s voice. Besides, it was much the same problem they were having with Nigel; how could they be sure that the person they reached was Alexander if they stuck to letters? Since Shutdown was several days away, though, they had plenty of time to track down Alexander’s phone number.
They needed to save money to buy an adaptor for Esme’s mystery flash drive. With their allowance, it might take weeks, and it meant they would delay replacing their broken camera. They still had to identify the people in Esme’s photographs, but that was low priority since the pictures were over eighteen years old. Some of the people might be dead.
They were going to miss their deadline on posting their newest Lemon-Lime video. The raw footage was done. Editing on the music video for school, though, took precedence if they wanted to outmaneuver Elle. It might be good, though, to post a filler video. Louise made a note to do something quick and simple. Maybe just a fake title page that erupted into flames and then Queen Soulful Ember announcing “Blast it all! That was too silly! Try again!”
Giggling, Louise made notes and moved to the next project. She wanted to do more research on the gossamer call, just in case it turned out to be really Nigel Reid posting on the Pittsburgh forum. She marked the date he was supposed to appear on the Today Show. She added “Rockefeller Center, 5:30” in the hopes that they could figure a way around their mother’s edict. What they needed was an adult that they could bully into taking them into the city.
“Do you think we could do a Girl Scout field trip to the Today Show?” she asked.
Jillian shook her head, not looking up from the animating that she was doing on her tablet. “It’s after the vote on the play. If things go the way we want, I don’t think Mrs. Pondwater will be willing to take us anywhere.”
“If it’s already all set up, she might not be able to back out gracefully.”
“We can try.”
Louise added it to her list. And on that note, she added that they needed to deliver cookies to April and her doorman. She considered the possibility of talking April into taking them to the Today Show and then realized they’d have to explain to their parents how they knew the woman. Nope, that wouldn’t work.
The most important thing on her to-do list was the one thing she couldn’t move forward on: saving the babies. They had searched out the trust that had paid for the storage over the last eighteen years. Esme had set up the account but the funds had run out last year. To take over the payments would require thousands of dollars.
The most maddening thing was that they technically had the money in their college fund. Their parents had been saving the money since the twins were born. It was doubtful that the twins would ever need it; between their parents’ low income and their placement tests, they were guaranteed full scholarships. They couldn’t touch the money until they were eighteen.
“If we could just use our college fund,” she growled.
“Never happen.” Jillian blew out her breath in disgust. “Stupid waste of money.” Their parents saw Jillian’s fascination in movies as a phase that she’d outgrow. Louise doubted it; Jillian had planned from the age of four on being the youngest movie director ever to win an Oscar. “They want us to be lawyers or bankers or something stupid and boring like that. The only way they’ll let us use our college fund for anything other than school is if we were already out of college and making buckets of money.”
It kept coming back to the fact that they had no way of making money as nine-year-olds. It wasn’t that they couldn’t figure out a way to earn money. Every scheme they’d come up, though, required a bank account to collect their earnings. Without their parents’ consent, and more importantly, their social security numbers, the twins couldn’t legally apply for one. Louise was sure that if they were normal kids, their parents would have been happy that their kids were taking responsibility and learning how to manage money. Their mother knew them too well; she saw a bank account as a too-easily exploitable venture.
“With the money they’re making now, Mom and Dad couldn’t take on four more kids.” Louise had checked into the costs involved in a standard pregnancy. “I had no idea how much time and money goes into having a baby born. You have to go to the doctors constantly. There’s blood tests, urine test, sonograms, ultrasounds. And that’s not even what it costs for the delivery. It’s a massive amount of time and money if everything goes right. It’s a whole other ballgame if things go wrong.”
“Then there’s food and clothing and where would the babies sleep? We couldn’t have six of us in this bedroom.”
“This would be so much easier if we were almost eighteen like Alexander.”
Louise nodded in agreement. “What we need most is time.”
“We need to be old enough that we can have good jobs. We have to be able to pay for a surrogate mother like April, a place we all can live comfortably, and still be able to buy them stuff like socks and boots and winter coats.”
Jillian obviously was thinking of the homeless men they saw on the street sometimes, nearly freezing in the snow.
“And they need their own college fund. So if one of them wants to be a lawyer or a doctor, they can.”
“We need time and money,” Louise said.
“With time, we can get money. It’s just time we need.”
8: BIRTHDAY GREETINGS
On Thursday, Jillian made the mistake of leaving the invitation out on her desk in
their bedroom where their mother saw it during one of her spot-checks on how clean they were keeping their bathroom. They were deeply engrossed in video editing at that moment, so she managed to read it before they even realized she had picked it up off Jillian’s desk.
Their mother made a little sound of impatience. “Why didn’t you tell me about this? I need to R.S.V.P by tomorrow.”
Louise and Jillian exchanged glances. They shared the responsibility of telling her by both saying, “We’re not going.”
“It’s Elle,” Louise added. “We really aren’t friends with her.”
Their mother pursed her lips, considering. They waited, barely breathing. “She invited all the girls?” she asked finally.
“Yes but it’s just a power maneuver to get control of the play!” Jillian cried. “She’s a Gemini, Mom, which means her birthday really is after May twenty-first. She’s having her birthday early so she can have it before the joint-class play meeting at the end of this month.”
Louise winced. Jillian was an amazing liar but when she stuck to the truth, she seemed to have no idea what would be the result of her words.
“What happened to invade and conquer?” their mother asked.
“This is not Iraq,” Jillian said. “It’s a birthday party.”
“It’s diplomacy. You need to learn it.”
“But we don’t want to go,” Jillian cried, digging them deeper.
“Honey, this is going to seem callous and awful, and I hate that I sound like my mother, but life is full of things you don’t really want to do that you should do. Everything from going to the dentist to giving blood. I really don’t like taking time out of my schedule to let someone jab me with a needle and screw up the rest of my day by sucking blood out my arm. The only reason, though, that I’m alive today is because some stranger donated blood for my mother before I was born and again when I was a teenager and was in a car accident.”
“That’s different; that’s saving a life.”
“We’re sending you to school with kids your age so you can learn this, and it’s been five years and you haven’t learned it. You need people. Yes, it would be great and wonderful if all the people in your life were like Aunt Kitty.” They had always called Mom’s best friend “Aunt” even though she wasn’t related by blood; she’d been informally “adopted” by their grandmother when the two friends were in high school. “Those are rare and wonderful treasures when you find them, but you need all the people.”
“Are you saying we should suck up to Elle?” Jillian asked because she knew the answer would be “no.”
“Obviously you haven’t learned the difference between ‘sucking up’ and ‘taking advantage of your opportunities.’ It’s time you learn. You’re going.”
“Mom!” Jillian and Louise both cried.
“Let me make myself clear.” She raised her right hand up, meaning that she would not tolerate them trying to weasel out. “You are going. You will be nice. You will do your best to have fun. You will be polite to Mrs. Pondwater and Elle. You will do nothing to submarine the party. You will use this opportunity to be friends not with Elle but with Elle’s friends, because one of them might be a girl you’ve discounted and held at arm’s length merely because Elle claimed her first. The only way you will ever find a friend like Aunt Kitty is to open yourself up to friendship. You will never find other people to love while sitting in your bedroom, talking only to each other.”
She finished giving a slow benediction with her upraised hand by pointing to each of them. “Have I made myself clear?”
“Yes,” they both whispered.
She sighed and lowered her hand. “You need to learn how to play the game of diplomacy. Right now you’re just fighting for a play. In the future, it could be for getting a job you love or a raise you deserve, or to win support for a law that will save people’s life, or—or I don’t know. You two have the power to change the world. You’re letting shallow, self-serving people like the Pondwaters win because they understand the game and you don’t.”
* * *
That Saturday they went into Manhattan to find a present for Elle. They stopped first at FAO Schwarz and wandered through the vast toy store, trying to find something that Elle might want and didn’t already have, and that they could afford.
“This is hopeless,” Jillian kept muttering darkly. “She probably has everything in this store.”
“Live and learn,” their mother said. “The trick to giving a woman a gift is to give her something beautiful that she didn’t think to buy for herself. Flowers and jewelry are often a good fallback. Here.” She stopped in front of a display case of snow globes. “Maybe one of these.”
“They’re pretty,” Louise admitted.
“Here’s one with Princess Ariel.” Jillian pointed to it.
They gazed at the pink globe with Ariel as a human peering upwards. There seemed to be something vaguely wrong about it.
“It’s like she’s trapped,” Louise said.
“Maybe not that one,” their mother said. “Maybe a mermaid Ariel.” Their mother pointed to an Ariel with big rounded head and huge eyes done by a popular statue-maker.
“That’s a little creepy,” Louise said.
Jillian caught Louise’s hand and pointed silently at a snow globe on a nearby shelf. It was of Pittsburgh deep in the forest of Elfhome. It wasn’t accurate—a lot more of the city was shifted than the small wedge of downtown that they showed. The reason for the inconsistency became apparent when Jillian carefully flipped the globe upside down and righted it. The forest became Earth suburbs surrounding downtown Pittsburgh. Another flip and the city was once again surrounded by forest.
“Oh, that is so cool,” Louise whispered.
Unfortunately, their mother noticed their fascination. “You like that one?”
“Elle would hate it,” Jillian said quickly. It would be horrible to have to hand it over to Elle.
Their mother laughed. “I meant for you two.”
“Us?” Louise cried with surprise.
“We didn’t get you anything you wanted for your birthday. This could be a late birthday present. Do you want it?”
“Yes!” they both cried.
Their mother signaled over a clerk. “We’ll be taking two domes. This one here is the first. We think the other one should have a mermaid in it. Can you point out all the ones you have?”
Within a few minutes, a dozen globes were gathered together for them to choose from. One had a stunning crystal mermaid with a delicate silver tail with coral filaments waving in the invisible currents and detailed fish swimming around her.
“It’s so pretty!” Louise said. “She’ll love it.”
“And it’s not that expensive,” Jillian said.
“It feels very grown up to me,” their mother stated, and they had to agree. It seemed like something anyone would like, not just a little girl. “Do you know—has anyone bought one of these in the last few days?”
“This is the only one we had in stock. It’s been discontinued.”
“It can be exchanged? It’s going to be a gift.”
“Yes, I can give you a gift receipt.”
As the clerk rang up their purchases, their mother said, “After you buy a nice item, you wrap it as elegantly as possible, along with a sophisticated card. So next stop, a card shop.”
* * *
Louise drifted through the Hallmark store, looking at all the bright displays competing for attention. The gift-wrap aisle had animated wrapping paper. Racecars silently roaring down ribbons of asphalt for boys. Galloping unicorns for girls.
Louise paused to finger the unicorns wistfully as they raced in elegant circles, manes and tails blowing on sparkling magical wind. The only thing that Louise held against Ella was that once a week she took horse-riding lessons at a farm in New Jersey. On Elle’s profile on the school’s secure social network site were pictures of Ella doing English dressage on a beautiful gray mare with black mane and tail. The mar
e was prancing, ears forward, neck arched, right front leg and left back leg cocked high in mid-step. It was the most beautiful thing Louise had ever seen and she wanted with all her being to know what it was like to commune with such an animal.
Jillian came around the corner and shoved a card into Louise’s hands.
“Two cards?” Their mother followed on Jillian’s heels.
“She invited both of us.” Jillian snatched up the unicorn paper. “And we’re only giving her one present. It’s like one of us is going without a gift. If we go with only one card, then it’s like one of us is twiddling our nose at her.”
“The Pondwaters know that you two are at Perelman on a scholarship. They know we’re not at their level…”
“Yes, Elle’s parents know, but Elle is the one we have to live with and she’s nine.” Jillian bumped against Louise to get her to back her up.
Louise raised an eyebrow at her twin. Normally Jillian would have been glad for a chance to twiddle her nose at Elle. Jillian was up to something. “It’s just a little more for a second card.”
“Do you want us to look like welfare kids?” Jillian added.
“It’s the price of having us at a private school.” Louise checked the back of the card and winced. Between the barcode and copyright information was the price. It was more than a few dollars. This required work. “You should see the website of the party planners for this. It’s going to be a dress-up tea party like we’re a bunch of first graders. There’s going to be roses on every table, real china and silver candelabras and people dressed up like the characters from the movie.”
“And silk ball gowns and crowns for us to wear.”
“And a hair stylist and someone to do our nails.”
Their mother visibly melted. “Oh! That’s sounds so wonderful. You’re going to be so cute!”
“Mom!” they both cried.
Their mother sighed, shaking her head. “I swear, you two were never little girls. It’s like I gave birth to teenagers.”
As they headed for the checkout counter, Louise looked at the card in her hand. She half-expected it to be some odd joke card. It was surprisingly elegant. It took her a second to register that it read “Happy Birthday to Our Sister.”