Page 35 of Dear Life


  A family, finally.

  HOLLYN

  “I need Cracker Jacks. I can’t do this without Cracker Jacks.”

  “You do not want Cracker Jacks,” Amanda says, not letting me up from my seat. “They’re going to get stuck in your teeth, and it won’t be pretty.”

  “Beer, then. Get me a beer.”

  “No beer.” She shoves a water bottle in my direction. “Beer will lead to beer breath, which is just ripe and nasty, and no one wants that.”

  “How is water supposed to calm my nerves?”

  “Pretend it’s vodka. A little imagination can go a long way.” Amanda looks to the field and taps her foot. “God, what’s taking them so damn long? This is torture.”

  “Torture? You’re not the one putting yourself out there. You’re just here for the ride.”

  “True, but I have to watch it, and that’s just as nerve-wracking.”

  “That’s not even close to being true.” I’m about to lecture her about the difference when the crowd erupts into cheers and the Miners start trickling out of the dugout.

  “Oh my God, they’re coming, they’re coming,” Amanda shouts, lifting me out of my seat by the arm and jumping up and down.

  “Can you not say they’re coming? It sounds like you’re saying the whole team is ejaculating together.”

  “Gah, get your mind out of the gutter. Oh look, there he is.” She points at Jace who is using a rubber band to stretch his hamstrings on the outfield turf. “Look at those strong arms just holding the giant rubber band. Yowza. And you had sex with those arms.”

  “Shut up.” I swat at Amanda. “Can you not say that out loud? I don’t need the entire stadium hearing about my sexual encounters.”

  “Don’t call it sexual encounters.” Lifting her arm, she squeals, “Yoo-hoo, Jace.”

  I quickly slap my hand over her mouth. “What the hell do you think you’re doing?”

  Prying my hand off her face, she answers, “Getting things going. Honestly, what did you think was going to happen when you brought me with you?”

  “I don’t know, sit quietly and just offer moral support?”

  She shakes her head at me and pats my cheek. “Oh, sweet Hollyn, when has that ever been my style? I’m a meddler.” With one more pat to the cheek, she shouts, “Hey, Jace. Look over here.”

  We are sitting at field level, right along the low wall that borders the edge of the outfield and the infield on the first-base line. Seats are courtesy of Matt since it would have been impossible to score such seats for the season opener. One of the perks of being Amanda’s best friend. Probably the only perk right about now.

  “Will you stop that?”

  “Never. Jace! Jace Barnes. Yoo-hoo. Stop stretching and look over here.”

  “Oh my God.” A rapid burn hits my cheeks while my stomach flutters and rolls with each catcall she lets out. “This is so humiliating.”

  “God, what does a girl have to do to get a guy to turn around? Take off my top? Matt would not be happy about that.” She snaps her finger. “I got it.” Why do I feel like I’m not going to like what she says next? “Jace! Jace Barnes, Hollyn is here to talk to you.”

  With my hand clasped over my face, now sitting in my seat, I peek through my eyes to see Jace snap his head around from the mention of my name. When he sees me, he drops the rubber band and stands abruptly. His trainer asks him something but Jace shakes him off and pats him on the shoulder as he walks toward us.

  “Stand up, stand up.” Amanda aggressively yanks on me, trying to pull me out of my chair.

  Reluctantly I stand, wishing this was on my own terms, but it seems like Amanda has different plans. I should have known better.

  Although, I am loving the sight in front of me: Jace walking toward me, his broad and tall body of perfection swaggering my way, power in each and every one of his steps. His hat is tipped low, just how he likes it. A light scruff caresses his jaw, framing its strength. And that uniform . . . It’s tailored perfectly to his body, showing off the narrow V of his waist and the muscular shape of his legs in all the right places. God, he is so sexy.

  Yanking on his bill, he smiles at me, filling in the last of the space between us. The crowd goes crazy with how close he is, but I block it all out, only focusing on him.

  “Hey.” He smirks, a new smile stealing my heart. “What are you doing here?”

  I’ve practiced this moment, I’ve rehearsed it, but now that I’m in the actual moment, I’m tongue-tied, unsure of what to say.

  “Ugh, you’re so infuriating,” Amanda says next to me as I fiddle with my hands. “She came to announce her love for you.”

  Okay, so not how this was supposed to go. Jace raises an eyebrow at me in question and I turn to Amanda who is beaming with pride. With a gentle nudge, I push her back down in her seat so she can no longer be a part of this conversation.

  “Care to explain what she means by that?” The smile on Jace’s face is so damn infectious. How do I even begin to tell him what I’ve done, what I’ve accomplished? Why did I think this was a good idea to do here? Well . . . grand gestures are always nice. “Hollyn, we’re on borrowed time.”

  “Yeah, okay.” Reaching out to him, I link our hands together, hoping only the people around us notice. “Remember when you said we were toxic for each other?” He nods. “I don’t think that’s true. I actually think we were brought together for a reason, like it was kismet. I needed someone to help push me through the dark hole I was burying myself in, and you needed a shoulder to lean on. I was blind at first, not truly accepting what we had because I was scared, guilty, and truly unsure if I was allowed to love again. But when you walked away, I knew at that moment, I was losing another love of my life, but that time, I was making the decision to let you go.” His hands squeeze mine, reassuring me to continue. “That was a pivotal moment for me, Jace, because I knew I wanted you, I needed you, but I had to move on from my past first in order to fully be with you. To live. If I was going to let my heart fall for another man, I was not going to half-ass it. I wanted to be all in.”

  Looking down at me from under his bill, he asks, “And are you, are you all in?”

  Matching his bright smile, I nod. “I’m all in, Jace.” My hands reach up to his face, while his wrap around my waist and pull me into his body. “I love you, Jace, with everything in me. I love you.”

  “Music to my fucking ears.” Pressing his lips against mine, we kiss. Naturally, the crowd around us cheers, and a few groupies boo, but I’ll take that as a compliment. When he pulls away, he asks, “You know what you just did, right? You just made us the news for the next few weeks.”

  Shrugging, I say, “Let them talk.

  I go in for another kiss, but Jace stops me, forcing my eyes to his. “I have to know, Hollyn, are you going to stay for the whole game?”

  “I’m staying for everything, Jace.” And I mean that . . .everything.

  His smile touches me deep in my soul, awakening things I thought I’d lost forever: passion, love, yearning. They are all for this man who has renewed my spirit and helped me find love once again.

  “Good.” Searching my eyes, he says, “I love you, Hollyn, so damn much. Looks like our timelines were only a little off.”

  “Sometimes we all need a little more time to prove our existence.”

  “I guess so, but damn, was it worth it.”

  Sweeping me in closer to him again, he takes my lips with his, ignoring the catcalls from his teammates, his coach yelling from the dugout, and the fans around us chanting Jace’s name.

  In this moment, it’s just him and me, and the new life we’re about to embark on.

  DAISY

  “Just the sisters, please,” the photographer says, motioning with her camera.

  “That’s us.” Amanda links her arm through mine and moves our bodies in front of the beautiful mountain backdrop behind us.

  The entire wedding has been something out of a fairy tale. Amanda looks so beautifu
l, it’s hard not to stare at her. The look on Matt’s face when he saw her walk down the aisle—priceless. His expression was the epitome of the happiest man on the planet, so genuine, so joyful. It is a moment I’ll never forget. Makes my little romantic heart go pitter-patter.

  “Careful, I don’t want to step on your dress,” I say to Amanda who is yanking on me.

  “Oh, who cares? Matt has stepped on it at least ten times already. Now get close and smile, this is a treasured moment I want to keep forever.”

  With our bouquets in front of us, we pose together, our heads connecting, our arms wrapped around each other’s waists.

  When Grams initially moved into the senior community center, I wasn’t sure what was going to happen to me, or how I was going to handle being out in the world by myself, but Amanda came along and has been my guardian angel, guiding me in all the right directions, making sure I had a chance to see the world.

  Feeling emotional, I say, “Thank you for everything, Amanda. You don’t know how much being your sister has meant to me.”

  “Are you trying to make me cry?”

  “No.” I laugh. “I just want you to know you mean a lot to me.”

  “You mean a lot to me, too, Daisy. I’m so grateful you’re able to celebrate this day with me.” Her eyes cast to something behind me, her expression changing for a second before she focuses back on me. Pulling me into a hug, she says, “I love you, remember that when you turn around.”

  “What?” I ask, confused. But before I can get answers, she spins me around so I’m facing Carter.

  Carter!

  Carter in a black suit, white dress shirt, and black skinny tie. His clothes are practically painted on his skin. His hair is stylishly combed to the side, a light beard now gracing his jaw. And those dark eyes, eating me alive with their intensity. The feelings I thought I’d recovered from a while ago come flying back full force with one sighting.

  Leaning over my shoulder, Amanda speaks into my ear, “Just hear him out.”

  “What?” I turn to Amanda to ask more, but it’s too late, Carter is now standing directly in front of me.

  “Hey, Snowflake.”

  Caught off guard, I don’t know what else to say, so I just blurt something out, “Why are you here? You were uninvited.”

  “Amanda re-invited me.”

  “No, she didn’t, she wouldn’t do that.” Turning back to Amanda, who is trying to listen in, I say, “You wouldn’t do that, would you?”

  “I kind of did.” Guilt is written all over her face.

  “Why? Why—”

  “Daisy, can we go somewhere else to talk?”

  Facing Carter, I shake my head. “No, we can’t go somewhere to talk. Why on earth would I want to talk to you?”

  “Yes, she can talk,” Amanda cuts in. “She’s all done with pictures.”

  “Amanda.”

  “Don’t Amanda me. This is my wedding day. If I tell you to go talk with Carter so he can tell you he was an idiot, then go talk to him. Don’t make me tell you twice.”

  The bride has spoken. Looks like I have no other choice than to listen to Carter.

  “Fine.” Lifting up my dress so it doesn’t drag on the earthy terrain, I start walking toward the venue when Carter gently pulls on my arm.

  “This way, actually. I have something to say to you and show you.”

  Irritated, I huff my way next to him while mumbling, “This is so inappropriate. The last thing I want to do right now is talk to you. I’m only doing this because Amanda said to. If it was my option, you would be sitting on a bus back to Denver, gnawing on your own shoe because I would refuse you any and all food from the venue despite the long trip you might have taken to get here.”

  “Are you done?” he asks when we stop by a bunch of bushes.

  “Hey, are you being mean to me?”

  “No.” He holds up his hands. “Never.”

  “Good.” Crossing my arms over my chest, I lift my chin and avoid all eye contact. “Go on, say what you need to say so I can go back to the party and get my drink on.”

  Exhaling loudly, he turns me so I’m facing him and then with a gentle touch, he forces me to look at him. “Daisy, that morning when Sasha turned up, it was the worst thing I could have ever done. Not stopping you from leaving. The minute you walked out that door, you took my heart with you, but I was just too damn scared to admit it.”

  Why am I listening intently? Maybe because I still love him and I wish he loved me back.

  “God.” He wipes his hand over his face. “It’s impossible for me to get my words straight with you in that dress. You’re just . . . you’re so damn beautiful, Daisy.” Darn him and his stupid flattering words.

  Shyly, I thank him. From the minute I put this dress on, I wanted him to see me in it. And from his reaction right now, I’m glad he had the chance, because it’s worth this awkward conversation.

  “Nothing happened with Sasha, nothing could, not when I’m so desperately in love with you.”

  My heart starts pounding like a drum, my pulse skyrocketing, and the smile on my face brightens—there is no stopping it. Carter’s in love with me?

  “You took me by surprise, Snowflake. When I showed up at Dear Life, I wasn’t expecting to meet someone so unconventional who took my breath away, who had such an addicting thirst for life. But I did, and you stole my heart with every quirky turtleneck and conversation about crafts. You brought light into my dull and aching life. You gave me a purpose, you gave me love, the one emotion I’ve never felt with anyone else.” Taking my hands, he brings me in closer. “I love you, Daisy. I don’t want to keep walking on this earth without you by my side. Please tell me I don’t have to.”

  Darn it, he’s ruining my makeup. Gently, his hand cups my face and wipes away my tears.

  “Do you need more convincing?” he asks. Not waiting for me to answer, he brings us around the bushes where a food truck is parked by the sidewalk. It’s bright red with a large comment bubble coming from the ordering window. Inside, it reads, “Ma, the meatloaf!”

  “What is this? And what does Ma, the meatloaf mean?”

  Chuckling, he pulls me in front of his chest and wraps his arms around my waist. “This, Snowflake, is my food truck. I specialize in making different types of meatloaf sandwiches. And Ma, the meatloaf is from Wedding Crashers, the movie.”

  “You have your own food truck?” I ask in awe. “What about your uncle?”

  “He helped co-sign so I could get it. We worked out our differences and he told me what a dickhead I was for letting you go, because even he saw the changes you made in me.” Gripping me tighter, he leans down into my ear and says, “You make me a better man, Daisy.” Pointing to the sandwich at the very top, he reads it out loud to me. “My number one sandwich is for you. I called it Daisy Owns My Heart. It’s a play on the first drink we ever had together with cranberries and oranges. I chose meatloaf because hell, I couldn’t think of anything else that would make me happy to cook. Everything about this truck is about you. You’ve influenced my life in such a short period of time that I had to have you be a part of it, if anything, just so I could hold on to what was left between us.”

  “I can’t believe you have a food truck.”

  “Is that a good thing?”

  Turning around, I let him embrace me. “It’s a great thing, Carter. I’m so proud of you.”

  His face breaks out in a large smile and everything inside me melts. I might have been mad at him, but I can’t stay mad forever. I love him. I went to Dear Life to experience life and I found a warm, loving man with so much love to give, but he didn’t know it at the time. It doesn’t seem like he has that problem anymore.

  “You really love me?” I ask him, needing to hear it one more time.

  “I really love you, Daisy.”

  “Would it be okay if I said, I love you, too?”

  Laughing, he answers, “It would be completely fine.”

  “Good.” Standing on my ti
ptoes, I kiss his jaw. “I love you, Carter. I guess this means the groomsmen I had lined up to take me home are going to be disappointed,” I joke.

  “Not funny, Snowflake. You’re only going home with one man, and that’s me.”

  “Are we going to ride into the sunset in your meatloaf wagon?”

  “Hey, meatloaf is what brought us together at first, so it only seems fitting.”

  “So romantic,” I sigh, right before Carter tilts my chin up and presses his lips to mine.

  This right here, this is what experiencing life is all about: living, learning, and loving each moment. I’m one lucky girl to be able to spend it with this man who swept me off my feet with one broody glance.

  ***

  Dear Life,

  I once blamed you for making me a widow at such a young age. I tore you apart for tearing me apart. I swore at you every day, hating what you did to me, giving me such heartache.

  But as I write this letter, my shoulder pressing against Jace’s, I get it. Life isn’t always about the good; it’s about the trials and tribulations and how you come back from them.

  I thought I lost everything when Eric passed. I cowered away from what you had to offer because I was too scared to put myself out there again. Now I’m glad I did because the joy I feel being in Jace’s life eclipses the pain I once felt from losing Eric.

  I will always remember, love, and reminisce about him, but he’s my past, and I’m now focusing on my future. I’m proving my existence.

  Sincerely,

  Hollyn.

  Dear Life,

  Singin’ in the Rain is one of my favorite musicals of all time, not just because the tap dancing is mesmerizing and the vocals are exquisite, but because the backstory of the making of the movie resonates with me. Debbie Reynolds was the underdog coming in when it came to dancing. Gene Kelly and Donald O’Connor were magicians when it came to tapping, leaving Debbie behind, having to practice over and over again until her feet were bleeding. Everyone knew she was the underdog, and even Gene Kelly made a comment saying her dancing wasn’t up to par.