“Tell me what to do, tell me how to help you.”
“Good God,” he growled. “Don’t you understand you can’t help me? No one can!”
But she wanted to help him. Was desperate to ease his pain. A sudden knock rang through the room, startling her.
“Grayson,” Nate said, turning and walking away from her. But he didn’t head toward the windows. No. Instead, he moved toward the chair in the dark corner of the room.
“Nate,” Grayson said. “Open the door.”
Nate nodded. Beth hesitated only a moment, then reached out and gripped the door handle. If Grayson hadn’t interrupted, Nate would have told her the complete and utter truth. The question was did she truly want to know?
She pulled open the door.
Grayson swept into the room, not looking the least bit surprised to see her. “Mrs. Church.”
She had a feeling he’d known she was there all along. She’d always been uneasy around Grayson. The quiet, reserved man held a wealth of power and she knew he would use it. But in that moment he was the only man who could help, and she’d never been more grateful to see him.
His gaze shifted to Nate. “You’re not feeling well.”
Nate released a harsh laugh. “You could say that.”
Grayson pulled off his gloves, slapping them against his palm. He wore riding gear, which meant he’d come directly from the stables. It only reaffirmed the direness of the situation. “It’s not supposed to be time.”
“No,” Nate replied.
Time for what? She didn’t miss the silent communication between the two. Whatever was wrong with Nate, Grayson knew. Did Meg also? Beth’s hands curled as she resisted the urge to demand answers. Dear Lord, she was a complete and utter fool. She didn’t understand any of this. All she knew was that Nathan was hurting, and although he would most likely fire her once he felt better, it killed her to see him in pain. Bloody hell, she cared. She cared so much more than she should.
“I know a place we can go,” Grayson said. “Where you’ll be safe.”
“Safe from what?” Beth finally demanded, tired of the secrecy.
Nate’s gaze slid to her. “Take care of the boys for me.”
“Where?” she dared to ask. “Where are you going? Why?”
If Grayson thought her interest odd and inappropriate, he didn’t say. “Where he’ll be safe.”
Nate grabbed his jacket and started toward the door. “You mean where others will be safe from me.”
But she couldn’t let him leave without knowing the full truth. Beth dared to reach out and latch onto Nate’s arms. “Please, just explain.”
He paused, his gaze clashing with hers. For a long moment nothing else mattered. The entire world seemed to disappear. And in that moment the truth wavered before them, unspoken, but so close to the surface.
“Come,” Grayson demanded, pushing the door wide. “Let’s go before we’re too late.”
Nate pulled away and moved into the hall.
“Where?” Beth followed them. “Where are you going?”
Nate stopped, his back to her. The silence that met her question did not bode well. Why wouldn’t they tell her? Nate was a good man, a kind and caring man despite what he thought of himself. Surely they didn’t think he would harm anyone. If Grayson was his true friend, he would know that as well as she did.
“If we told you,” Nate said. “Then it would defeat the purpose of protecting.”
“I don’t need protection from you,” she whispered, stepping closer to him. They had no privacy, and a guest could happen upon them at any moment, but she didn’t care. She didn’t care that she was practically laying her heart out on a platter for him to honor or abuse.
“Oh Beth,” Nate sighed sadly. “You have no idea.”
Grayson waited down the hall, patient as always. Although they whispered, she had a feeling he could hear them. There were so many things she wanted to say to Nate, things she had no right to say, things that would embarrass her and him.
“You do need protection from me,” Nate said. “If you believe anything I say, believe that.”
Nate turned and left with Grayson, blending into the shadows of the hall as if they’d never been there. Beth could merely stand there wondering if she’d imagined it all. Why did she have the horrible, terrible feeling she might never see him again? She started to surge forward, intending to follow.
“Are you all right?” Meg asked softly.
Beth spun around, so caught up in her own fears and thoughts that she hadn’t heard her friend approach. Meg looked hesitant, yet at the same time completely and utterly unsurprised. She knew. Meg knew about Nate. Beth wasn’t sure whether to feel relieved or disappointed that Meg hadn’t told her.
“No, I’m not all right.” Beth quickly brushed away the tears that had managed to drip from her lashes. “They left, Grayson and Nate and I don’t know why. I’m tired of not knowing.”
Meg took a hesitant step forward. “I know, Beth. I only just recently uncovered the truth. But if I tell, I might be putting you in danger.”
“Meg, please,” Beth begged. “I have to go to him. I need to know where he is, if he’s well.”
With a sigh, Meg slid her arm through hers, trapping Beth against her side. “Why, Beth? Why do you care?”
“The children,” she whispered. “They need their father.”
But Meg knew her too well, and the look she gave her said only too clearly that she didn’t believe a word Beth had said. They were friends. The best of friends. Even more, like family. Meg deserved the truth. But how could Beth admit the truth to her friend when she’d barely admitted it to herself?
“Beth.” Meg started down the hall, taking her along. “This is me. We don’t keep secrets.”
She swallowed hard. “I care about him, Meg. I shouldn’t, but I do.”
Meg nodded as she led Beth into her sitting room. It was a beautiful place, ice-blue and silver. The fire roared with warmth and the furniture was not only elegant but welcoming. Grayson had spared no expense at trying to make his wife happy. Could she ever have a relationship like Meg and Grayson, or was she forever doomed to be alone and struggling?
“Beth, you do realize he’s not…normal.”
She released a harsh laugh. “So he says. But really, who is normal? I’m certainly not.”
They settled on the settee near the fire. Beth barely felt the heat. Meg took her hand, holding it tightly. “You know, don’t you, that there’s something different about him?”
Beth took in a deep trembling breath. She would no longer run away, no longer be a coward. “Tell me everything you know.”
“Remember that book Hanna and Sally loved? The book on mythology. The book we read to them as fiction?”
Beth nodded. She knew what Meg would say even before she said it. Perhaps she’d always known. The moment she’d met Grayson she knew something was different about the man. And it had been the same when she’d walked into Nate’s home.
Meg squeezed her hands. “What if I told you those stories weren’t myth, weren’t fiction, but were real?”
****
She knew he wouldn’t answer the door, so Beth didn’t bother to knock when she made it to the small cottage deep within the forest. It was a game-keepers cottage, long ago abandoned, Meg had explained.
A crescent moon hung in the sky when she sent the carriage driver off and settled with her cloak and a blanket within the roots of a tree, hidden by the safety of nature. But all was not quiet. Every scream that echoed from the cottage made her flinch, until sweat beaded on her upper lip.
Even an hour after the screams had tapered off, she found herself crying, her heart aching for the pain she knew Nate experienced, had experienced for years. Perhaps she couldn’t go inside that cottage, but for some insane reason she couldn’t leave him alone either.
At some point, after the screams stopped, she drifted off to sleep. She swore in her dreams that Nate’s cries of pain had tu
rned into growls. More than once she thought she was being chased by Allen. It was a fitful, uncomfortable sleep.
Yet, it wasn’t until the cold morning air had finally become unbearable that she stirred. Hidden by the roots of a tree she opened her eyes, chilled to the bone, watching as the door to the cottage opened and Grayson stepped outside. He glanced at her, nodded, and then moved toward the path, heading home.
Vampire, Meg had told her.
Beth shivered, sinking further behind the roots. Grayson was a vampire. A man who lived off blood. Human blood. She still wasn’t sure whether to be intrigued or horrified.
She didn’t take her eyes off him until he faded into the shadows of the trees. How could Meg have married him? Yet, as ridiculous as it seemed, it made sense in some strange way. Grayson offered a protection that no human man could. Meg needed that, needed him.
She shifted her gaze to the cottage. Smoke curled up from the chimney, the scent of burning coal welcoming. Nate was alone. They could finally talk. It was as she uncurled her fingers attempting to breathe life back into her hands that the very air seemed to shift. Startled, she jerked her gaze toward the cottage. Nate stood in the doorway, his attention pinned to her as if he’d known all along she’d be there. His clothing was rumpled, his hair mussed, he looked like he’d been through hell, fought the very devil, and won…barely.
Feelings she didn’t dare dwell upon lodged in the center of her chest. For a long moment they merely stared at each other, those unsaid emotions flashing the distance between them. Finally, after the birds started chirping their good mornings, Nate pushed away from the door frame and started toward her. She wanted to jump to her feet and throw her arms around his neck, to thank God he had survived, but her frozen limbs wouldn’t have allowed it. Each step closer sent her pulse pounding a little harder, warmed her blood a little more. Nate was here. He was well. That was enough.
He knelt before her. “We need to talk.”
“Yes,” she whispered.
He reached out and although he looked half-dead, he slid his arm under her knees and around her back and lifted. Cradling her to his chest, he carried her toward the cabin as if she weighed little more than a feather. Beth closed her eyes, leaning the side of her face against his shoulder, and breathed in his musky sent, savoring his warmth. He closed the door with the heel of his boot and settled her upon the only wooden chair in front of the fireplace. The warmth from the flames seeped into her body, thawing her bones.
But the fireplace held little importance. The chains on the floor, wrapped around the wooden beam above, caught her attention and held. She shivered, closing her eyes and forced herself to focus on the heat.
Five minutes had gone by. Perhaps more. It was only when she’d warmed enough and she’d stopped shivering, that she finally was able to look at him. Nate stood to the side of her, his shoulder propped against the wall, his arms folded across his chest and his gaze on her.
“Why are you here, Beth?”
She tore her gaze from him, focusing on the other side of the room. Chains…shackles. To keep him from harming himself or others? If she hadn’t killed Allen, and therefore had realized what was truly out there, she wouldn’t have dared to believe it. “I was worried about you.”
He didn’t respond. Beth tore her attention away from the chains and stared into the fire. The heat seeping through her body had nothing to do with the flames and everything to do with the fact that she’d just admitted she cared about him. But did he care about her? Did he even want her here?
Taking in a deep trembling breath, she knew it was time to tell him all. “You damned me for keeping secrets from you, but you are just as guilty. You’ve been keeping secrets from me.” She turned to face him fully. “What are you Nate? Admit the truth.”
He laughed, pushing away from the wall and pacing across the room. “Where do I start?”
Meg had told her the basics. Watching him stroll across the room—the determined steps, his stiff broad shoulders, the hardness in his gaze—she could almost see the animal within. But there was so much she didn’t know, needed to understand. “Perhaps start with your marriage.”
He paused at the fireplace only a few steps from her, light dancing across his profile. She’d never known a man as stunning. Yes, she’d accept what he was, but she would never accept that he was evil, that he would kill for the fun of it like Allen.
“My wife was a shallow, beautiful thing who cared only about making the perfect match. I had money. I was exactly what she was looking for. But she liked attention. When I went away to war to spite my father, she was furious and found the attention she needed with other men. Men who doted on her, spoiled her.” He shrugged. “My father died. Then my brother, and I inherited the title. I should have left the war immediately, but I felt I had to prove my worth, that I couldn’t let my men down. My wife was irate.”
She’d met so many women in London who could have been a replica of his wife. Bored with their shallow existence, they would find anything to entertain them.
“Part of me doesn’t blame her for seeking attention. After all, what newly married woman wants to be left alone in an ancient castle in the middle of nowhere?”
Beth didn’t feel so kindly toward the woman, but managed to keep her thoughts to herself. “You were serious…the three youngest aren’t yours?”
He braced his left hand against the fireplace mantel. “I don’t know of any man who would jest about that.”
And yet he took them in, he fed them, he treated them equally. He wasn’t the monster he claimed. No matter what he said, Beth knew he cared about those boys and most importantly, about their safety. “How did it happen?”
“While on the continent during battle I was shot. Lost amongst a field of injured and dead soldiers. Night fell. Most of the others had died.” He shook his head. “I was delirious with pain, when the animal appeared. I thought, perhaps, I had imagined the wolf. Or maybe it was there to scavenge. I managed to grab a pistol, but not before it bit me. As much as I hate to admit it, I probably would have died from infection if that wolf hadn’t turned me. Fortunately Grayson was there to explain. I barely knew him then. We were mere acquaintances. But after that bite…he was the only one who could help. We bonded by what we were…are.” He turned and paced to the windows, looking out into the early, gray morning. “Monsters. Beasts. It will never change.”
She was clutching her hands so tightly together, they began to tingle. That night she’d been in her small chamber preparing for bed, she hadn’t seen Allen on the hill, no…it had been Nate. She was sure of it. “How does it happen? When does it happen?”
“Mostly once a month during a full moon.”
Beth frowned, deep in thought. So that part of the myth was truth. “But…yesterday wasn’t a full moon.”
He leaned against the ledge of the window, watching her. “No. It can also happen when another beast is near. The werewolves within us fighting over territory, I suppose.”
She shivered. “There was another nearby.”
He nodded.
There was more than one werewolf, of course. She’d been so focused upon Nate, only Nate, that she hadn’t thought much about it. How many were out there? Her gaze shifted to the gray dawn. One of those wolves had been near enough to Grayson and Meg’s home that Nate had changed.
“Does it hurt when you turn?”
“It does. But just for an hour or so during a full moon. Changing is natural then, at least as natural as the process can be. But when it’s not a full moon, or when I change on purpose, the pain is worse. Much worse.”
The realization that it was possible to change whenever he wanted caught her by surprise. She couldn’t imagine what he had gone through. Tears stung her eyes, but she refused to let them fall for Nate did not need her pity, even if it did sound like torture. Nate turned. Once a month, his body morphed into a beast.
“Why did she run away…your wife? Was she upset because you didn’t pay her any
attention?”
“No. Because I terrified her. She didn’t know I was a werewolf, but she knew I couldn’t control myself once a month, and that I’d disappear for some reason. There is a tunnel that leads from my chambers and outside, although only Mrs. Turner and Reynolds know about it. When it’s bad…too bad…they release me.” He pushed away from the window and started toward her, his gaze intense, serious. He meant to frighten her. “I’m not human. She knew that. She knew I could kill in a blink of an eye.”
Beth swallowed hard, dampening down her fear. She would not allow him to scare her off. “If you’re not human, then what are you?”
“I’m a demon. A monster.” He paused a few feet from her, looming large and otherworldly. “I can smell better, see better, hear better than any human, whether in my wolf form or not.”
Slowly, he knelt in front of her, his gaze so fierce she didn’t dare look away.
“I can kill faster and more efficiently than any man. In fact, better than any animal. And that is why my wife left me. That is why she ran…out of fear. That is why she died.”
Nate blamed himself. His wife had been fleeing him. “Your wife,” she whispered. “Died a coward. If she was so afraid, then how could she leave her children behind?”
Confusion flashed across his beautiful eyes. It was something he’d never thought about. “She was terrified.”
“No,” she replied quite firmly. “No parents would abandon their children to a monster. Certainly no mother.”
He shook his head, stubborn. But it was a story he’d been telling himself for so many years that he believed it, could accept no other reality. The truth was his wife had been a selfish woman who had cared about no one but herself…not even her own children.
“She thought I would kill her.”
“I don’t believe it,” Beth said, just as stubborn as him.
He watched her warily. The conversation was making him uncomfortable, but Beth pushed on. She would not allow him to blame himself any longer.