***
Floor-to-ceiling windows lined three of the walls in the third floor solarium providing Sara with an unobstructed view of the ocean as she enjoyed her tea. And what a view it was. The sun had started to set coating the sky with various hues of red and pink that stretched out for miles, and there was not a cloud anywhere in sight.
With a lazy stretch, she sank deeper into the sofa while she waited for Christopher. They'd come up from the beach for lunch, but had only made it halfway through when he received an urgent call from work. While she waited for his return, she contemplated their previous conversation about Callie. For some reason she couldn't get it out of her mind. Could a simple apology mend their relationship? Callie never exhibited any signs that she held a grudge toward her. Not to mention she readily provided her support for Senator Healy's education initiative regardless of Sara's involvement. And while she remained reserved in her company, it might have more to do with not knowing how Sara would respond rather than because Callie didn't like her.
If both Jake and Christopher believed an apology would help, could there be something to it? When Christopher talked about his relationship with his sisters and their relationships with each other a mixture of guilt and envy always rolled through her.
She had an abundance of friends and acquaintances but none of them were close confidants—just Jake and now Christopher. Even when she'd attended an all-girl boarding school, she'd always held back a little bit of herself. When Callie entered their family, it'd been the perfect opportunity to add her to the short list of people she trusted. Instead of welcoming her though, she'd done the opposite. Afraid Callie wanted to somehow use the family for her own benefit, she'd tried to push her away. Even though she'd only wanted to protect her family, particularly her father and his campaign following Phillip's betrayal, she'd been in the wrong. Perhaps now was time to fix that mistake.
Such an attempt might fix the minor rift between her and Dylan too. Although very subtle, there had been a change in their relationship once he and Callie became involved. No one else noticed it, but she knew it existed.
Picking up the teacup near her chair, she took a sip expecting a mouthful of hot liquid. Instead lukewarm tea slid down her throat, taking her by surprise. She'd poured it right before Christopher stepped out and it'd been steaming. The tea left in the cup now tasted like tap water. How much time had passed since he left? Normally she didn't lose track of time. Then again most of the time her schedule was so structured she didn't have time to sit around. Before this relationship, she hadn't allowed herself any down time. Before Christopher she'd planned out every day weeks in advance. Since he'd come into her life, she'd modified that. The workweek remained scheduled down to the minute, but she kept weekends free. Now she couldn't imagine going back to her old way of doing things. Before Christopher she hadn't realized how lonely she'd become. Sure she spent time around people, that was part of being in DC, but being around people you worked with couldn't compare to the joy of being with a person you cared about… whose phone calls you looked forward to each day… who held you close at night while you slept.
Her eyes closed and memories of waking up that morning returned, sending warmth through her. As the scene played out in her mind she saw them in her room at Cliff House. He'd already been awake when she'd opened her eyes that morning; her head was on his chest, one of his arms was around her, and his fingers were toying with her hair. In that moment she'd felt not only cared for but loved. At least she thought it was love. No other boyfriend had made her feel the way Christopher did. Some had come close. And at the time she'd believed she loved them. Yet the emotions she felt with them couldn't compare to the ones she had with Christopher. In fact the intensity of the emotions she felt this time scared her a little. Frequently she reminded herself to let their relationship grow and develop at its own pace. With emotions so intense however, she often forgot her own suggestions.
Several times in the past weeks she'd almost dropped the L-word during a conversation. Each time she'd covered her blunder and Christopher appeared none the wiser. And while she realized the slow course was best, she wondered how slow was too slow? Should she wait until he said he loved her to share her own feelings? Or should she take the plunge first? It could be that he was waiting for her to take the first step. And if she decided to tell him, how would she know when the time was right?
Yawning, Sara covered her mouth. She had a lot to consider.