She will come.
CHAPTER 23
ZEPHYR
The second Orion sees Sparrow, she freezes.
“You,” she gasps. She takes a half step forward. “Sparrow?”
Sparrow reaches out with trembling hands. “Orion,” she whispers. “It’s been a long time.”
They stare at each other like they’re both seeing something beautiful, something that couldn’t or shouldn’t exist in the Shallows.
I didn’t even know they knew each other. Rhone shrugs when I look at him, like he didn’t know either. We help Sparrow walk forward.
Orion closes the distance in two quick strides, and I think they’re about to both fade into one sobbing mess, when Orion suddenly goes bright red. Not from embarrassment. From fury.
“I thought you were dead!” Orion screams. “We all did!”
She leaps.
And tackles Sparrow to the ground.
It’s all screams and curses, and Sparrow’s flattened on the concrete floor of the Cave. Orion rolls her over, puts her thighs on either side of Sparrow’s body. Then she starts beating the hell out of her.
“Stop it!” I yell, but no one moves.
A crowd gathers.
Sparrow screams, and Orion keeps hitting, and finally Rhone and I step forward and yank them apart.
“You liar!” Orion shouts. Rhone and I hold her back as she fights to get away.
“I’m sorry,” Sparrow sobs. She’s lying on a heap on the floor, gasping for breath. Dex helps her sit up, rubs her back in circles, wipes blood from her face with her T-shirt. Sparrow sobs. “It was to keep you safe.”
“We were best friends,” Orion says. “You never came back. You abandoned me. You were the closest thing I ever had to a sister, to a family.”
It’s then that Sparrow’s head pops up.
She blinks through the blood dripping down her one good eye, and she looks like she’s just killed a person. “Don’t ever say that word to me again,” she whispers. “You and I are not family.”
“We were once,” Orion says.
She shakes away from Rhone and me, then stomps down one of the darkened tunnels and disappears.
Orion comes back an hour later.
Rhone and Dex and I are sitting by the fire, with Sparrow beside us.
I tense, as Orion approaches.
“If you attack again, we’ll leave,” I say, but she holds up a hand.
“Stop. It was my mistake.” She glares at Sparrow, then sits down across from us. “This ChumHead here . . . She was one of us, once. I mean, after she left the Leeches’ side.”
I spin to look at Sparrow. “You were in the Resistance?”
She pulls down on her shirt collar. Three stars are tattooed low on her collarbone, morphed from her scars. The Orion’s belt. She shrugs. “You didn’t ask, so I didn’t say.”
“That’s how she’s always been,” Orion groans. “Doesn’t give the details, and even when you ask, she gives half the whole truth.” She sighs, picks a strand of fabric from her pants. “Just like the night she went on a kamikaze mission to shut down the Motherboard herself.”
Dex giggles. “That’s awesome.”
Sparrow went to shut down the Motherboard?
“You died in there,” Orion says. “You had to have died in there. We waited, and we searched, and there was never any trace. Why didn’t you come back to us?”
“Because I didn’t want to be found,” Sparrow says.
“We were . . .” Orion swallows her words. “It doesn’t matter why you didn’t come back. What matters is that you’re here now. And I swear to the stars, if you don’t explain why, Sparrow, I’ll make you wish you really were dead.”
They glare at each other. Two of the most messed up women in the Shallows. It makes all the sense in the world that they’d be friends. Dex watches with wide eyes, like she’s enjoying the show.
“I tried to shut it down,” Sparrow says. “But my precious sister never told me about the Motherboard’s Protector.”
“Who is it?” Orion asks.
No.
No, no, no.
“Sparrow, stop,” I say suddenly. I beg her with my eyes. “Please.”
She gapes at me, and for one second, I think she’s going to keep the secret. I shake my head. She nods.
I shake my head again. “Don’t.”
Everyone looks back and forth between our silent battle.
Finally, Sparrow makes the choice. “I couldn’t march into town and slaughter my own niece. I’d be just as bad a person as Lark was. So I simply put her name into the system. Allowed fate to take control and the Lottery to choose her. It’s not my fault Patient Zero became the one programmed to kill her. It’s also not my fault that he failed to do so.”
Orion stares, mouth open.
“You . . . your niece is the Protector?”
Sparrow nods.
“Meadow Woodson is the Protector?” Orion’s eyes turn to slits, and Rhone gasps, and every head turns to look at me.
“Well, hell,” I groan. I put my head in my hands.
Sparrow shrugs. “They deserve to know the truth. They deserve to make a choice. To kill Lark, or to kill Meadow.”
“No one is killing Meadow,” I hiss. My hands ball into fists. The fire is suddenly too hot, and too close. “She didn’t want this life.”
“No one does, Zero, but we’re all in hell anyways,” Orion says. “We should kill the girl.”
I’m on my feet before I realize it. “You will not touch Meadow. If you lay a finger on her, I’ll kill you myself.”
Orion throws back her head and laughs at me. “And why should I listen to you, Zero? What have you proven to me?”
I take a step forward. The fire is hot on my ankles, but I don’t care.
“I brought Sparrow to you. And she agrees with me on the solution to our problems. We want to kill the system, but we also want to get free.”
“And?” Orion asks.
“And the best way to do that is get revenge on the woman who put us all in this mess in the first place. We’re going to kill Lark Woodson. And you’re going to help us do it.”
Orion laughs. “You’re funny, Zero. The woman can’t be found. You know it, and I know it, so her daughter is the next best thing. We all heard the announcements. She’s out in the Shallows, free. We can find her. Kill her quick and painless.”
“Orion.” Rhone speaks up for the first time. “Listen to what Zephyr has to say.”
She stares at him.
Annoyance flashes through her eyes. Then the calmness of respect.
I speak before anyone else can. “If we kill Lark, there’s a fail-safe. She’ll die, and as soon as she does, every Patient in the Shallows will react.”
Sparrow nods, joins in. “The moment Lark’s heart stops beating, the Patients will follow her revenge order. And you’ll love this, Orion, I know you will. Their Target is the Initiative. The Patients will take out the very people that have controlled them for years.”
Orion’s eyes light up.
“That’s all good and well, Zero,” she says, ignoring Sparrow, “but you can’t find Lark Woodson. I’ve already told you that.”
“That’s the best part of the plan,” I say, smiling. “We won’t have to find her. Because Meadow is going to draw her out.”
That gets Orion’s attention.
“We should kill them both,” she whispers.
“No,” I hiss.
“Yes. I’m in charge here, and if you want my army’s help, you’ll listen to me. You’ll kill the girl, and end this all for good.”
That’s when it hits me.
“I don’t need you,” I say to Orion.
She laughs, but I cut her off. I stand up, cross to the pile of weapons that the Resistance has, in the center of their building. I choose a crossbow, a quiver of arrows, and sling it over my shoulder. Then I turn back to the fire.
“I don’t need you, Orion, because I’m a Patient of
the Murder Complex. And the second Lark dies, my army will come. And I’ll be the one to lead them.”
“Zero, you’re making a mistake,” Orion says.
“No,” I say. “I’m doing what I should have done this entire time.”
I hoist the bow higher on my shoulder, look to my friends. Dex and Rhone help Sparrow to her feet. Dex comes to my side, but Rhone holds up a hand.
“You can’t go with us this time, Kid.”
Her eyes look like they’re going to pop out of her head. “What? Of course I’m going. I’m not staying here”—she looks over her shoulder—“with them.”
Rhone’s voice is sad, like he’s looking at his little sister for the very last time. “I’ll be back for you, when it’s safe. For now, you’ll stay here with the others your age.”
“I’m not a child!” Dex shouts. Her voice rings across the Cave. “This is my fight, too!”
I step forward, kneel down to her side. “Stay, Dex. For me.” I feel guilty as hell, because I know she’ll do whatever I say. She always has, since the very first day we met.
Tears fill her eyes.
Then she falls forward and body-slams me with a hug. I’m about to say what I always say. Thanks, Kid. But then I realize Dex isn’t a kid, and she never has been. She’s been forced to grow up fast, forced to forget the years of being young, where everything is happy and careless and safe.
I have a fleeting memory. Something my dad used to do with my mom, and even though I know it’s a fabricated memory given to me by the Leeches, it seems like the symbol it stands for is true. I reach for Dex’s hand, take it in mine. She looks up as I press my lips to the back of her hand. “Thank you,” I whisper. “For believing in me.”
Her face grows as red as the sunrise. “Be safe,” she says. And then, in normal Dex fashion, “Give those Leech bastards a good show.”
She stands on tiptoe and kisses my cheek. Then she turns to Rhone and sticks her middle finger up in the air.
“I love you, too, little sister,” Rhone says, chuckling.
Dex turns and runs away to join the other kids.
“Let’s go,” Rhone says.
We head down the tunnel, back the way we came.
It’s when we’re almost out of earshot that I hear Orion’s voice.
“You’d better look after Meadow, Patient Zero. Stand in my way, and you’ll both end up dead.”
We see the message on the way back to the Graveyard.
It’s in bold red letters, still dripping like blood down the bricks.
6 a.m.
For Peri.
I know that name. It’s Meadow’s little sister.
A Leech Cam soars by overhead, scanning the streets. We all dive into the shadows as it passes by.
“This is where she’ll be,” I say. “I’m sure of it.”
Sparrow squeezes my shoulder. “Then we’ll stay,” she says. “I’ll do it. I’ll kill my sister.”
At first, I want to say yes. How will Meadow ever be able to look at me the same, once she sees what I’ve done? Lark is her mother. I saw the love in her eyes when we found Lark in the Leech building. Saw the brokenness, when she discovered what a monster her mother really was. But she loves her, still. And as long as Lark lives, Meadow will hold on to that.
I hate it.
I realize deep down, for the first time in my life, that I truly want to kill.
This is the only death, and the only victim, that I won’t ever regret. “I’ll do it,” I say. “I have to be the one.”
“I was afraid you’d say that,” Sparrow says. “Go ahead. Do it for the both of us. Make her bleed.”
We hide in the shadows and wait.
CHAPTER 24
MEADOW
I search the Shallows all night.
I go through the Graveyard, look in all the places I think she might be. I check the old storage units, the locks on them now replaced from when Zephyr and I were hiding here, the time we found my mother’s secret unit, all of her information on the Murder Complex.
She is nowhere to be found.
I take the train to Cortez, walk the boardwalk. This was the place Zephyr almost kissed me. The place where he first turned on me and tried to kill me. I run the streets, and memories flash by with each step. Zephyr, grabbing me by the hair and slamming my face into the sand. Me, stabbing him in the shoulder. His eyes, cold and black.
I don’t know where my mother is.
Because the more I think about her, the more I realize I hardly knew her at all. The articles I found in her locked storage unit, about her science and her beginnings, are the biggest truths I ever got from my mother.
I don’t know her childhood. I never asked her questions, and she never spoke about herself. She told me stories. Imaginary ones, of nonexistent worlds, with characters that weren’t real and never could be.
Everything, even our time spent together, was centered around a lie.
And she knew. The entire time, she knew, that I was the key to keeping her precious creation alive. It makes me hate myself.
It makes me wish that I could dive into the sea and sink to the sand, forever forgotten from the world.
When dawn is near, I take the train back to the city. It soars over the bridge where I once leapt from the roof of this very train, dove into the waters below, and boarded an Initiative yacht to escape Zephyr.
So much has happened.
And now, I am back to chasing things again, except instead of chasing my mother’s ghost, I am actually chasing her.
Once I find her, I won’t be alone in this anymore. We’ll be together again, prisoners.
A part of me hates my mother. The other longs to see her again, to share in the fact that we are both pawns of the Initiative, and we always have been. She made it that way.
The train slows as it closes in on the main strip. The night has passed, and the sun is rising from the sea, shedding its light on the early morning. I pass the Graveyard, remember the moment when everything went bad. When I lost my family.
The train is nearing the old apartment building. I hop off, roll to my feet, and run toward it. And as I get closer, see the little concrete row of steps leading into the building, my heart drops to my toes.
She isn’t here. It is exactly 6 a.m.
I wait, pacing below the steps.
Two minutes pass.
Three.
I slam my fist into the brick building. Either my mother didn’t see the message, or she didn’t care. I am not sure which is worse.
It destroys me. I stand up, scream into the morning.
“LARK!”
I hear the wind blowing, see the sun rising in the distance, throwing the color of blood into the sky.
“YOU’VE KILLED HER! YOU’VE KILLED PERI!”
I throw my head back and scream, so furious that I’m reacting only on instinct now. Then the screams fade to laughter, and for a moment I forget who I am. Tears slip from my eyes, roll down my cheeks. My father’s voice doesn’t come to calm me.
Instead, I hear only whispers of ghostly screams that sound like Peri. I don’t want to gain control of myself.
I want to be empty.
I want to be free.
When my voice fades, I drop to the steps.
That’s when I see it.
Movement, a person walking out of the shadows of the nearest alleyway.
Silver hair.
That’s all I need to see to know it’s her. I stand up and run, sprinting across the street, until my mother and I are standing face-to-face.
“Meadow,” she says, and it is the sound of the past.
The sound of safety.
I do what I never thought I would do, ever again. I fall into her arms.
And I sob.
She wraps me up, holds me close. Her hands find the Regulator at my neck, and she gasps. “I knew it. I knew they would do this to you.” I hear her voice as she whispers into my ear, as she strokes my hair, holds me tighter. “My god,
look at the precision on this. Who did they match you with?”
I bristle, start to pull away, but she reaches out.
“It’s all right, Meadow. I’m here now. I’m here.”
“Peri,” I say. “They’ve been torturing her. . . . She’s in pain.”
“My poor child,” she says. I hear her holding back a sob. She swallows it. “Your sister is fine, I promise. The pain is real, but it will not kill her. If anything, it will teach her to be strong. I designed the program myself, years ago. Beautiful thing, isn’t it?”
I gasp. “No, it’s not beautiful.” For one second, can’t she just be the mother I need her to be? The mother who brought comfort to me, so many years ago? “They showed me a video. Her hair is gone, her body is . . . I have to get to her. Before it’s too late.”
My mother stumbles. “There’s no way out, Meadow.”
“So we’ll make one,” I say, but she is already shaking her head.
Tears well up in her eyes, and she presses her hands to her temples. “I did this, my god, it was all me.”
She reaches out to touch me, pull me in for a hug, but I take a step back. “You’re coming with me,” I say. “The Initiative needs you. You can tell them what they want to hear, and they’ll get rid of the Regulators. Peri will be okay again.”
“She’ll never be okay,” my mother whispers. “Pain like that is something you don’t easily forget. My daughter, my littlest daughter. She never was strong, Meadow. Not like you.”
She laughs, stares at the sky.
It sounds exactly like the laughs that have come from my lips recently.
“We’ll start over,” my mother says. “We’ll make the Shallows a better place, together. It was always meant to be this way.”
“You’re wrong,” I say. I wrap my hand around her wrist, start to pull her away.
“Wait,” she says. “Meadow, you must know the truth.”
“The truth can wait. It’s time to go. For once in your life, stop trying to get out of doing the right thing. You will fix this. If not for me, then for Peri. For my father and Koi.”
She holds steady. “This is the right thing,” she says. “Please. You have to know, Meadow, you have to understand my mistake.”