"Something wrong with him I should know?"
"Nah. I was just curious as to why you guys were talking," I said, dropping the matter.
We pulled into the driveway and I headed to my room to shower the day's worth of sand and grime off me. Once I was clean I pulled on a pair of comfy shorts and my favorite T-shirt. I grabbed a fresh journal from my shelf. It had been weeks since I'd written anything, and I was having withdrawals. Writing had always soothed me, which was exactly what I needed to get Josh out of my mind. I scooped up Player and went into the house to grab a drink before heading out to the gazebo. There was still plenty of daylight left, which was my favorite part about summertime.
An hour later I was knee-deep in a story when the sound of voices broke my writing trance. I nearly choked on my own breath when Butch and Josh walked around the corner of the house from the front yard.
"What are you doing here?" I demanded, jumping to my feet. Instinctively, I did a quick survey of my attire to make sure I looked okay.
"Rainbow, don't be rude," Butch chastised.
"Rain," I said through clenched teeth as Josh's lips twitched into a half smile.
"Don't be rude, Rain-n-n," Butch repeated. "Josh here came over to help me identify the eggs I found back by the shed. He's an expert in that area."
"Well, I wouldn't go as far as expert. I just know a little more about the animals in this area than your average person," he said, never taking his eyes from mine.
"Why didn't you tell me he was coming over?" I asked, glaring at Butch through the screen.
"Didn't I mention that part? Huh, my mind must be slipping in my old age," he said, shaking his head. "Anyway, I bow to the expertise you have, Josh. Florida wildlife is a whole lot different than what you'd find in Kansas," he continued, guiding Josh to the far corner of the yard where the small gardening shed sat.
I sank down on the chaise lounge as Player swiped at the pen in my hand. My swift reaction to Josh had caused me to feel slightly out of breath. I swear I needed to seek medical help where he was concerned. The constant hot and cold feelings I had for him were more than a little disturbing. He did look hot in regular clothes. Not that the red lifeguard muscle shirt I was used to seeing him in didn't suit his physique well.
"There's a special place in the loony bin for someone like you," I mumbled to myself, running a hand over Player's back as he purred loudly.
After a few minutes, Butch and Josh walked back around from the shed, chattering away like they had been friends for years. No surprise there. Butch had an easygoing way of building rapport if you gave him a chance.
"They're tern eggs," Butch called out. "Josh says they normally lay their eggs on the beach, but the sandy patch back there must have enticed them to lay their eggs here," he declared proudly, like he was personally responsible.
"As long as your little runt there doesn't take an interest in them, they should hatch normally," Josh said, taking in Player, who was once again racing across the screen in pursuit of a lizard.
It took me a moment to reply since I was in the middle of my self-therapy trance. "Player's an indoor cat, but he'd love to go crazy outside," I finally said, prying Player from the screen and scolding him by wagging my finger in his face. He promptly batted at it as I tried to ignore the way Josh was studying me. It was as if he was trying to figure me out. Butch watched us both avidly, finding amusement in the situation.
"Would you like some lemonade, Josh?" Butch asked. "My Buttercup makes the best fresh-squeezed lemonade."
"Sure, that would be great," Josh answered, not taking his eyes from mine.
"Rainb—" Butch said, stopping when I glared at him. "Rain, would you like some?" he corrected.
"Yeah," I answered, shifting from one foot to the next as Butch left Josh and me alone in the yard together.
"So, your name is Rainbow?" Josh asked, reaching for the door handle of the gazebo.
I cringed. "That's not exactly public knowledge," I sighed, sitting down on one of the chairs around the small table.
"Why did you change it?" he asked conversationally, oblivious to the running drama that was happening in my head.
"Seriously? Do you know what kids can do with the name Rainbow?"
"Other people's opinions are important to you, aren't they?" he asked, stretching his legs in the chair next to me.
"I've spent my entire life being judged and criticized by my peers."
"That's just people being ignorant," he said, tapping his long fingers on the table.
"Yeah, people can be that way without knowing the truth about a person," I quipped.
He held his hands up to surrender. "Fair enough. I'll admit I may have judged you unfairly. Your friends just rub me the wrong way, but obviously you're different."
I could have pointed out yet again that they weren't my friends. Well, except for Farrah, but I let it slide. "How do you know? When you first met me you were convinced I was there to destroy a whole nest of turtle eggs," I reminded him.
"That's true. I pegged you wrong that day too, but I apologized."
"You've pegged me wrong a couple of times," I pointed out.
He stared at me hard for a moment. "I'm sorry, Rain," he said as Buttercup approached with a tray loaded with tall glasses of lemonade.
We sidelined any further conversation since Buttercup and Butch felt it was a prime time to pepper Josh with questions about the area's ecosystem. I wasn't as gung-ho over it as the three of them, but even I couldn't help leaning in when he started talking about the sea turtles. Eventually, Buttercup and Butch stood up to go inside and prepare dinner after insisting that Josh stay. Butch waited until Josh's back was turned before he knowingly winked at me. Great. That was all I needed, for my parents to start acting like Cupid.
"Would you like to see one of the turtle nests?" Josh asked after my parents were in the kitchen.
"You're not afraid I'll stomp on them?" I taunted.
"I'm sure I'll be able to hold you back. We have to go at night though, so we can go after dinner."
I never really gave him a yes or a no. I found myself still confused about where we stood. Were we becoming friends, or was it just wishful thinking on my part? "You know, you don't have to stay for dinner," I said, trying to give him a gracious out.
"Are you kidding? It's been ages since I've had a home-cooked meal. My dad's idea of a gourmet meal is a box of macaroni and cheese."
"Where's your mom?" I asked, feeling it was only fair to pry since he had gotten an inside peek at my crazy family.
"In Hollywood waiting for her shot," he said glumly.
"She's an actress?"
"A wannabe actress. Over the last six years, she's had a handful of walk-on roles on sitcoms, but nothing with a speaking part."
"Really?" I said, surprised. It seemed strange that someone would willingly leave her kid behind so she could be an actress.
"Yeah, she's convinced her next big shot is right around the corner. Dad stopped asking her to come home three years ago. He packed up all her stuff and sent it to her. At first she used to talk about flying me to Hollywood so I could meet all the stars she claims to know, but I never put much stock in it," he said.
"I'm sorry. I thought I held the market on weird parents," I said, unconsciously reaching out to pat his hand.
As if he was expecting it, he flipped his hand over and captured mine in his. I probably should have pulled away, but I sat motionless, wondering why his touch affected me so much. He stroked his thumb across my sensitive wrist, making my skin tingle.
"Your parents, weird?" he asked, quirking an eyebrow and making me laugh despite the intimacy we were sharing. "I couldn't tell," he added, winking as Buttercup and Butch joined us with all the fixings for veggie burgers. The meal passed with the same easy conversation as before. If Josh was uncomfortable around my parents, he never let on. He chatted easily with them and laughed at almost every story they shared. He was a completely different person than the one I
had been working with. I was enchanted.
Butch and Buttercup kept Josh entertained until the sun began to set. I squirmed in my chair, wanting to slither away when they told him about the time when I was six and decided I wanted to be a boy. I'd practically scalped myself with scissors. I even rubbed dirt on my face and dressed in a pair of Butch's jeans that I had rolled up so they weren't too long for my short legs. It took months for my hair to grow out, but seemed much longer since I regretted my impulsive haircut almost instantly.
The moon was bright in the night sky by the time we finished dinner. I helped Buttercup carry the dishes back to the house while Butch and Josh continued to talk. Once the kitchen was clean, I collected Player from the gazebo and deposited him in my room. Josh followed behind me with a familiarity that should have made me uncomfortable, but for whatever reason, it didn't.
Chapter 9
"You two heading out?" Butch asked with a cheesy all-knowing smile plastered to his face. He and Buttercup were swaying back and forth on the swing on the front porch.
I shook my head slightly before he could say anything else that would embarrass me.
"Yes, sir. I thought I'd show Rain some of the turtles' nesting spots. Maybe if she gets lucky, one of them will be hatching."
"Cool beans," Butch answered.
Josh laughed as we headed to his truck that had more dents than smooth surfaces. "I like your parents."
"No, you don't," I said, letting him off the hook. "No one likes my parents. Well, that's not true. When we go to street fairs and farmer's markets they're always really popular. I guess you could say people our age don't like them. They're too weird for our generation."
"Maybe our generation is the weird one," he said.
"Well, look who I'm talking to," I teased. "I think you forgot you're supposed to be out causing trouble, not worrying about nesting turtles."
He shrugged. "Hey, everybody has their own thing. I guess I just had to grow up in a hurry."
I really meant no disrespect. It was obvious by things he'd said that Josh's home life wasn't exactly a weekly sitcom.
We drove along in a comfortable silence, admiring the surrounding area that was a lot more peaceful at night. After a few miles, Josh pulled off the road along a stretch of beach with no hotels or condominiums. Even the houses were farther apart and more sporadic. I had yet to venture this far down the coast, but it was far more private than where I lived. Making our way cautiously down the steep decline to the sand below, I couldn't help feeling like we were all alone in the world. Not that I was worried. Josh had a way of making me feel safe.
We were almost near level ground when the sand shifted below my feet and I lost my balance. Josh reached out to steady me, but my downward momentum pulled us until we landed in a heap in the soft sand below. It took me a moment to catch my breath, but when I did, Josh burst out laughing. I couldn't help but join him, even though I was covered in sand. Eventually, our laughter died off as we lay side by side, staring up at the stars shining brightly in the night sky. With no one else around, we could hear the sound of the waves rolling in and out to sea. It was an enchanted moment that would have been perfect if Josh would have leaned over to kiss me, but that was me being ridiculous.
After a few minutes, he stood and dusted himself off before reaching down to help me up. My heart pounded when his fingers wrapped tightly around mine.
I stared at our locked hands before looking into his eyes. "I'm trouble," I lightly teased.
"Believe me, I know," he joked, tugging me behind him. "Come on. Let's go check out the nest. It should be hatching any day, and that's a sight you don't want to miss," he added, keeping my hand in his. It was hard not to notice how simply holding hands with Josh could affect me more than the heated make-out session I had shared with Evan.
For his part, Josh seemed oblivious to what his touch was doing to me. We stopped in front of a familiar orange netted area and he dropped my hand as he sank down on his knees to the sand.
"How do you know this one will hatch soon?" I asked, kneeling next to him.
"They hatch about two months after the eggs are laid. This one is close, so I come out every night to check."
"Why?" I asked, intrigued.
"To help make sure the turtles get to the water safely and aren't picked off by predators. Their journey to the ocean will be the most harrowing one of their life. Everything is an obstacle for them—footprints, trash, whatever. They have many enemies and without our help, only one out of a thousand will reach adulthood. By protecting the beaches, we are doing our part to help that number rise," he said passionately. "Sorry, I'm a bit of a turtle buff," he added self-consciously.
"Don't apologize. I think it's cool," I said honestly, peering into the hole that was protected by the netting. I was dying to catch a glimpse of one of the baby turtles. "Tell me more."
My words provided all the prompting Josh needed as he continued to tell me everything he knew about sea turtles. His passion was contagious, and I found myself listening intently as he explained how the turtles found their way to shore just by their natural senses. We sat for nearly two hours talking, waiting to see if tonight would be the night the baby turtles would appear. We gave up when I started yawning.
Josh helped me to my feet, claiming my hand again. The mixed signals he was giving me were confusing. Feeling like I needed to put a little distance between us, I tugged on my hand. Just a few days ago we weren't even on speaking terms and now he felt comfortable enough to hold hands and I was fantasizing about kissing him.
"Josh, I'm not sure this is the best idea."
"Visiting turtle nests?" he mocked.
I socked his arm with my free hand. "Don't be dense. This," I said, holding up our linked hands. "Just yesterday you thought I was pond scum, and I thought you were a rat. We hated each other."
He stopped abruptly, making me almost lose my balance. "I never hated you," he said quietly.
I laughed. "Oh yes you did. We hardly spoke for, like, two weeks."
"I never hated you," he repeated. "I wanted to. I told myself you were just as shallow as all the other girls around here. I was wrong though," he said, tucking a lock of hair behind my ear. "You have so many layers that each new one is better than the last. I know I misjudged you, and I know you have every reason not to trust me after what I did, but I hope you'll give this a chance."
"We hardly know each other. I need a little time," I murmured as he tugged me closer. Even though it turned out to be a bust, rushing things with Evan had landed me in a heap of trouble. I couldn't risk that happening again.
Josh's free hand circled my waist, pulling me against him. "We'll get to know each other and I can give you time. You can call all the shots." He dipped his head down so his lips were inches away from mine. My heart stopped beating for a moment before racing with anticipation as I waited for him to close the gap. I had given a great deal of thought about what his lips would feel like pressed against mine, worried that they would fall short like Evan's had. My conflicting emotions had my head spinning, but I still wanted Josh to kiss me, then and there.
My eyes reluctantly moved to his, practically pleading with him to close the tortuous gap between our lips to finish what he had started. "Ask me," he said quietly, like he could read my thoughts.
Part of me wanted to remain defiant, to be the one in control, but my voice didn't seem to care. I found myself uttering the words. "Kiss me, Josh."
He needed no further enticement. His lips crushed down on mine with an urgency that matched my own. Obviously he wanted it as badly as I had. His lips were rough but tender at the same time. They pressed against mine firm and unyielding for a moment before becoming a soft caress. Every nerve in my body, from my head to my toes, felt completely charged. Any doubts I had about whether kissing Josh would be different had been completely squashed.
After a moment he pulled away. I had to knot my hand at my side to fight the urge to draw him back for another round.
"See, we're already one step closer to knowing each other," he said, placing his lips briefly back on mine. They were gone before I could sink into the kiss, and I found myself missing their softness instantly.
I took a step back to gather my bearings. The way he had me feeling, things could escalate in the blink of an eye.
We didn't say much on the drive back to my house. I hugged the passenger side door, trying to maintain a little distance between us even though I was acutely aware of his hand on the seat, taunting me to reach for it.
Butch and Buttercup sat on the front porch, drinking one of their jugs of homemade wine when we pulled up. Even as late as it was, I shouldn't have been surprised. They had just met Josh that day.
"Your parents are cool," Josh commented as they enthusiastically waved at us.
"Oh please. We already discussed this. It's okay if you think they're weird," I said, beating him to any slam he might be aiming their way. Call it a defense mechanism.
"You shouldn't be so hard on them. Some of us would give an arm to have parents who obviously care so much. "
His words were like a quick jab to the gut.
"What do you mean?" I asked.
"Nothing. I'm just saying they're cooler than you think. I'll see you tomorrow."
I wanted to say more, but his jaw was set and his eyes were focused straight ahead. I shook my head, climbing from his truck. This hot-and-cold thing was enough to give me whiplash.
***
The following morning I felt even more in the dark than ever. Would Josh acknowledge our kiss? Would he still be annoyed like he seemed to be when he dropped me off? Maybe he would do neither and just keep things professional in front of the others at work. I had no idea what to expect and suddenly had butterflies in my stomach as Butch drove me to the patrol station. Much to my surprise, Josh greeted me in the one way I hadn't considered. He was practically jumping with excitement when I arrived.
"We're hanging out at the station today. The storm has built up to a category one hurricane and may get stronger as it reaches shore, so all hands are going to be needed to fill sandbags," he said, smiling.