‘Charlie told us you couldn’t make it,’ she confided. ‘Larry was ready for him to stand in for everything except the dialogue.’
‘I’m here, aren’t I?’ Jack grunted, and snatched the flimsy script from the assistant director. ‘So Charlie can go to hell.’
‘I’ll go tell the guys in make-up,’ Lucy promised, hurrying off towards a trailer parked on the overlook.
‘You’re sure you can do this?’ I checked with Jack. Up here on Carlsbad an icy wind whipped up a top layer of loose snow that swirled around our feet. It was so cold that our faces, fingertips and toes soon felt frozen solid. I thought of the shock news Charlie had given him and of the effect it would have on his already wrecked nervous system.
‘Yeah, if you give me that drink,’ he joked, kidding around by extending his hand and making it tremble big time.
‘Sure, that’d solve everything.’
Grunting, he shot me a glance then cleared his throat. He began to read through his script, ignoring Angela the Vamp when she emerged from the trailer in the latest skiwear, ready to shoot a sequence of her emerging from the entrance to the old mine carrying a gun, looking over her shoulder then running towards a cable car, climbing in and setting off down the mountain.
As she got into position, I took in the mine entrance – a rough arch hacked into the rock, supported by ancient timbers – and for a second, pale monsters from my underground nightmare roared out of the darkness, wailed and flew up into the bright sky then melted away.
‘Scene twenty-five. Exterior. Entrance to silver mine. Angela’s character just shot me,’ Jack explained. ‘There in the interior of the old mine. We’re partners in a big gold heist back in the city. Rocky plays the undercover cop who finally catches up with us. We have to ski across country then hole up in the mine, hoping he won’t find us. We’re under siege for three days then bad weather forces Rocky and his men off the mountain. This is the part where Angela double-crosses me. She stashes the gold deep in the mine, shoots me and leaves me for dead.’
‘Nice,’ I muttered. It was no stretch for Angela Taraska to play a character who would shoot a guy for money.
‘Before she fires her gun, I say to her, “Don’t kill me.” She says to me, “Give me a good reason why not.” I now say, “Because in this state they still have the death penalty. You think I’m worth the risk?” She shoots me anyway.’ Laughing at the idiotic script, Jack tossed it in the air.
I watched its pages separate then flutter down on to the snow, looking up only when Lucy called for Jack to come to the trailer while Larry King asked Angela for take two.
Later I spotted Natalia on set with Charlie and the kids and wondered how come she was acting as if she hadn’t just called time on her marriage. ‘Acting’ is the operative word here, I guess.
‘Hey, Tania!’ Natalia waved me across to where she stood. She seemed very together – beautiful as ever in her dark-red coat, wearing big Ray-Bans and her hair loose over her shoulders ‘I was worried about you. Are you doing OK?’
I sighed and shook my head. ‘I talked to Orlando but I couldn’t get through to him. It feels like he’s definitely made up his mind to stay with Gwen.’ Keep it short, I thought. Don’t go into dark angel detail. I smiled weakly at Phoebe perched on Charlie’s shoulders, then at Adam, who stood slightly apart from the group.
‘I truly am sorry,’ Natalia told me. ‘We did our best to break them up before the relationship really got into gear but it doesn’t seem to have worked. For one thing, it turns out Larry insisted that Gwen keep her job.’
‘Yeah, I was wondering about that.’ Listening to her smooth explanations, I studied her pale, sensitive face for any sign of what was happening between her and Jack.
‘So she’s still around and I guess it’s time for you to move on,’ Natalia suggested, and she seemed impatient when I didn’t respond. ‘No – not ready yet?’
Again I shook my head. I could have come clean then and declared that I’d never be ready to move on and abandon Orlando, that I ached for him every moment of the day and I was desperately working out my own way to drag him back from the dark side. ‘I’ll never, never give in,’ was what I would have said if I’d let Natalia see what was in my bruised and battered heart.
What prevented me was partly the idea that she’d switched focus since our last meeting. It was hard to pin down – just that she seemed more detached, less interested in my problems. Call it a loss of empathy. And the other reason I held back was that Gwen’s brother was there, sharing our conversation.
Charlie swung Phoebe down from his shoulders, took the baby from Natalia and promised to take care of him while she went to the trailer to give Jack his five-minute call.
‘It’s like having a fourth child,’ she sighed as she left us. ‘I have to organize Jack’s day from the time he gets out of bed to the minute his head hits the pillow at night.’
But for how much longer, I wondered. Who would child-mind Jack Kane when the divorce came through?
‘I’m amazed he even showed up,’ Charlie commented. ‘I tell you, if we get through to Saturday, it’s a miracle.’
‘Sshh, don’t let the kids hear you,’ I warned. I noticed Adam drift further away, trudging through the snow towards the camera crew, ten metres from the entrance to the old mine.
‘So how much does Adam know about what his parents are going through – the divorce and everything?’
I’d planned for this to bring Charlie up short and it worked.
‘Jack told me,’ I went on steadily. ‘You’d just dropped the bombshell in his lap, down there outside the hotel. So yeah, you’re right – it is amazing that he showed up at all and he’s not drowning his sorrows in the hotel bar. Mind you, he did try that, but Macy stopped Owen from giving him the drink.’
Charlie frowned. ‘It looks like you girls got more involved in Natalia and Jack’s problems than I knew.’
‘More than I like,’ I admitted. I was keeping one careful eye on Adam, who had skirted round the film crew and seemed curious to find out what was inside the entrance to the mine. ‘Watch out for monsters!’ wanted to yell. To everyone else it would have sounded like a game that kids played, but he and I knew different.
‘You’re right, it’s not a good place to be,’ Charlie warned. ‘When people like Natalia and Jack go through a divorce it can get messy.’
He meant rich people, attention-hungry celebs. I agreed with this at least. ‘I’m sad for them. I wonder where they go from here.’
‘They stick to the plan of going to the Bahamas for Christmas,’ he explained. ‘It’s important the news doesn’t break until the new year. They want to keep it out of the gossip columns, off the blogosphere. You hear me?’
‘The secret’s safe with me,’ I promised. I looked again for Adam beyond the cameras, the sound equipment and the bunch of technical crew members gathered around Larry and Lucy and felt a jolt of alarm when I couldn’t pick out his small blue figure.
There was no time to follow this up before Jack emerged from the trailer followed by Natalia, Gwen and Orlando.
Gwen and Orlando. The way the names had begun to couple up so naturally gave me a big wrench and that sick feeling in the pit of my stomach.
Jack strode towards the director and presented himself for duty with a mock salute.
‘Scene twenty-six. Exterior. We shoot this sequence at the entrance to the mine,’ Larry explained. He looked up at the clouds gathering over the mountains, asked for lighting levels to be checked then went on to talk Jack through the scene. ‘You’ve been shot in the right shoulder. You know you have to make it down the mountain before nightfall, so you come out of the mine in time to see Angela escape in the chairlift. You’re losing a lot of blood.’
‘Blood!’ Jack declared, slipping his right arm out of his black ski jacket to show Gwen’s handiwork. His shoulder and arm were stained crimson.
‘There’s no dialogue – this is all action. Scene twenty-four, which w
e shoot later this afternoon, is where we rewrote the script, right?’ From experience, Larry felt he had to speak to Jack as if he was a kid. ‘Here, in this scene, you start to run towards the ski station; we track you, see you stumble and sink to your knees. Cut.’
‘Blood in the snow.’ Jack’s sardonic voice cut across Larry’s directions. ‘What’s my mindset here, Larry? What’s my motivation and who the hell cares?’
‘Let’s just shoot,’ the director decided, while the crew took up their positions and Lucy led Jack to the mine entrance.
I had an urge to follow them and find Adam before the call for action but my feet were rooted to the spot. I stared at the dark tunnel into the mountain and experienced that hypnotic, paralysing moment before reality crashes into unreality.
Worlds collide.
Darkness sucks me in. I’m drawn into a vortex, swept off my feet, gasping, clutching at stale air. The roof of the mine drips with slime, there is black water in the tunnel, the wooden props splinter and crack.
I lose my footing and am carried by rushing water, deeper into the mine until at last the tunnel opens into a cavern and my body slams against a wall of rock.
A candle lights the cave. Seams of precious silver glint above my head. Rusting pickaxes and shovels are abandoned on a ledge.
‘Don’t leave me,’ an injured man pleads. ‘Take me with you. Get me out of here.’
Boots crunch over rock, the sound fades. His companions abandon him.
More props collapse, the roof caves in. Boulders fall. A choking dust fills the cave as the candle flickers and almost dies.
A hand grasps at my arm, the agonized face of the trapped miner emerges from the cloud of black dust. ‘Don’t leave me!’
We’re not alone in the cave. A bundle of rags turns out to be a rotting corpse, the face stripped of flesh, eyes already gone, dark sockets gaping. There are more skulls kicked into a corner, bones and a pair of leather boots with worn soles, without laces.
I free myself from the dying man’s grasp. I try to breathe, to follow the fleeing footsteps. Rocks fall all around me.
The man chokes and coughs, there is a rasp and rattle in his throat. He doesn’t speak again.
I’m crouched forward; my hands and knees bleed. But still I’m determined to live.
‘Be brave.’ A new voice brings fresh hope. Out of darkness and chaos comes light.
I look up. The candle grows brighter to form a halo round the child’s face. His brown eyes are tender; they pity me.
‘Don’t leave me,’ I beg. I echo the dead miner’s words, feel my heart race.
Adam my angel of light stays with me. He protects me from the falling rock, shows me a safe place. ‘You’re not alone,’ he promises as he leads me to safety. He has the full mouth and the dark, curled hair of a choirboy, with a glowing halo around his head.
‘As long as you search for the truth, I’ll be with you.’
‘I’ve been here before,’ I groan. I’m weary to the bone, too tired for the struggle. I’d fought fire and water. Twice I discovered the truth and brought my friends back from the brink. But still my dark angel hounds me. He snaps at my heels. He won’t rest until he’s destroyed me. ‘When will it end?’
‘This is the third and final battle,’ Adam promises, and to me this is wonderful news – something that I am slow to take on board. ‘Three times, and only three, the dark forces may try to destroy you.’
‘You’re sure?’ I whisper. ‘If I come through this, they’ll have to leave me alone?’
Adam’s face is solemn as he nods his head. ‘This is their last attempt.’
‘After that?’
‘There is truth, there is light.’ The angelic boy gazes at me with love and compassion. ‘In the end, you will be free.’
The revelation astonishes me. It brings a blast of energy through my aching, exhausted body. I find the strength to go on.
When I open my eyes and look up, it was Orlando who bent over me. In that short moment it was as if a dam had burst at the entrance to my heart, and hope flooded in.
‘Tania passed out,’ he yelled, easing one arm under me and raising me from the snow.
Orlando held me. That was all I knew.
‘Grace, fetch help. Find a medic.’ He supported me and held me against his chest, hugging me for warmth.
Then other people showed up – Holly raced to my side and helped Orlando raise me to my feet. ‘Can you stand? Come on, Tania – look at me. Focus. Try to walk.’
A first-aider felt my rapid pulse, thought that I was probably having a panic attack. ‘Breathe slow and deep,’ she instructed. ‘Keep your eyes open.’
I don’t know how much time passed before Gwen arrived with blankets and Orlando released me from his arms. He stepped aside.
Come back. Hold me again. Never let me go.
He stepped back and the hope in my heart drained away.
‘Breathe,’ the first-aider insisted. ‘Big, deep breaths, in through your nose, out through your mouth.
My arms and hands tingled, my legs buckled again.
‘We need a stretcher,’ someone said. It was the last thing I heard before I fainted a second time.
I woke up in Natalia and Jack’s penthouse suite, in the lounge area with a balcony overlooking the mountain. It must have been late afternoon because light was fading from the sky.
At first I thought there was nobody in the room, and from my position lying full length on the cowhide sofa I stared around at the deer and elk heads adorning the wooden-panelled walls. The dead animals stared back at me and gave me the creeps.
‘Definitely a panic attack,’ a woman’s voice was saying.
I craned my neck to see two people in the room next door: Natalia and another woman – possibly the first-aider who’d checked my pulse. I was longing for Orlando to be there too.
‘She should be fine,’ The first-aider told Natalia as she was shown out.
‘We’ll keep her warm and make her rest,’ Natalia promised.
I heard the click of the outer door and felt rather than saw Natalia come back into the room.
‘You’re awake,’ she said softly as she came into view.
‘Where’s Orlando?’ I asked in a woozy voice. ‘Did he come with us?’
‘No, he and Gwen stayed on Carlsbad to shoot the scene. Larry said he needed more blood.’
I groaned.
‘Can you sit up?’ Natalia asked, helping me to swing my legs from the sofa on to the floor. ‘No, don’t try to stand, not yet.’
‘Sorry,’ I mumbled. My head still swam and my legs felt weak. ‘Me wimping out – that’s just what you don’t need.’
‘No problem.’ She sat beside me and together we watched the sky turn violet then red as the sun sank behind the mountains. There was a last rim of gold, a flare of amazing colour before everything – the snowy peaks, the ski slopes, the tall Christmas trees lining the hotel driveway – turned grey.
‘You have two interesting friends,’ Natalia commented, apparently happy to sit and pass time.
‘Holly and Grace?’
‘Yeah. Plus Macy – make that three.’
‘“Interesting”? That doesn’t sound good.’
‘Girls like Macy and Holly don’t come off an assembly line. They’re pretty unique. And I guess I’m surprised you’re close with them. I think Grace is more your style.’
‘I’ve known Grace for ever.’
‘Does she have a boyfriend?’
‘Yeah – Jude.’
‘Is it the real deal? Are they loved up?’
‘Totally.’
‘What about Holly?’
‘She’s in a relationship with Aaron. We all hang out together – Grace and Jude, Holly and Aaron, me and …’
‘Orlando?’ Natalia gave me a sympathetic smile. ‘We have to recognize that things change,’ she sighed. ‘And don’t I know it.’
‘Sorry, I didn’t think.’
‘It’s cool; I’m happ
y to talk about Jack and me. You’re smart so you probably realize we’ve been washed up for a long time. The really painful part came about twelve months back, when I finally understood he wasn’t going to stop drinking. That was after his third spell in rehab. Until then I kept on hoping he’d change. But guess what – he managed to keep away from alcohol for a whole twenty-four hours, then he binged for two days and nights. That was it – the end.’
‘And you have three kids together.’ Stating the obvious is an annoying personality trait and I hate it when people do it to me, but the clumsy words fell out of my mouth.
‘Yeah, the kids.’ Still watching the colours fade from the mountains, Natalia lapsed into a painful, lonely train of thought, until a sudden commotion in the corridor broke the silence.
‘We need to see her!’ a familiar voice insisted, seemingly followed by pushing and shoving.
‘That sounds like Holly,’ I murmured. With a big effort I got to my feet and started towards the door.
‘We’re not leaving until we see her. Let go of me, you big, frickin’ baboon!’
Quickly Natalia overtook me. She flung open the door to find Holly wrestling with a guy in a black polo shirt with a white security badge pinned to his chest. Behind her, a second guy kept a careful watch on Grace, but he wasn’t quick enough to stop her from stepping around Holly and slipping past Natalia into the suite.
‘Tania!’ Grace gasped when she saw me totter towards her. She lowered me into the nearest chair then squatted beside me. ‘Are you OK?’
‘This is a hotel, not a fortress!’ Holly kept up the ruckus in the corridor while Natalia told the security guys to back off. The more she tried to intervene, the louder and more physical Holly became. ‘We’re not leaving – get it?’
Grace used the time to whisper a message. ‘Listen, Tania, they’re ready to throw us out. We want you to come with us.’
I shook my head until I thought my brain would come loose. ‘It’s Orlando – I won’t go!’
‘OK, but once we leave, you’ll be totally alone. Can you deal with that?’