We drove on like that for more than an hour, passing through clear-cuts and rain forest, Mia picking the turns. How far was it really? It was hard to say, since we never hit more than ten miles an hour on the twisty road.
Finally, we started down a steep hill, then turned a corner and came upon a body of water that was bigger than a pond but not quite a lake. It was roughly circular, maybe a quarter mile across. Around a little less than half the lake, the rain forest grew right up to the water, and usually over the water, with the trees and ferns reaching out like the crowds at some presidential rally, trying to touch the candidate.
But the forest on the other half of the lake had been clear-cut. There was a little buffer of trees around the shore itself, but the land beyond that had been mowed completely bare. Plus, that part of the forest had been a hillside, so the clear-cut dominated the lake more than the forest on the other half did.
We all climbed out of the car and faced the devastation.
“Nice,” Liam said.
“Oh yeah,” Mia said. “That’s why my family stopped coming up here. I just remembered.”
“Because of the clear-cut?” I asked.
She nodded. “My grandparents owned that land. They’d planned to give it to my dad as an inheritance, but they had some investments go bad or something, and they had to sell. They only kept the land right around their cabin. The logging company said they wouldn’t ever clear-cut, but then they went ahead and did it anyway.” She thought for a second, then said, “Fuck, that’s probably why Mrs. Brummit was such a bitch back in town. It sort of ruined the lake. I think they ended up having money problems too, but with that clear-cut, no one wanted to buy their place. They were really pissed off.”
“Where do the Brummits live?” Galen asked.
“At the end of the road.” Mia nodded toward the dirt road we’d come in on. I hadn’t even noticed that it kept going, that it disappeared into the rain forest again. “But they don’t live there. It’s a vacation cabin, like ours.”
The view was depressing, and the ground was wet, even in the area around the cabin where there weren’t any trees. The road itself was downright muddy, and everything else was this sort of grassy moss, maybe like peat moss. It was like walking on a sponge. It made the whole world unsteady, and it took me a minute to figure out my balance.
The cabin itself was a squat, lumpy thing about a hundred feet up from the lake. The roof looked like it was made entirely of moss. The whole thing was smaller than I expected, one room or maybe two. It had been built from some dark, ancient wood, probably from the surrounding forests, but it didn’t look sturdy. Sandwiched between all that moss, it was like the whole cabin was sinking, like the forest was slowly reclaiming its wood.
Beyond the cabin, farther from the lake, was an outhouse—Mia had already told us there was no running water. Between the cabin and the outhouse, there was a large metal barrel. Maybe it had once been used for collecting rainwater, but it was too rusted now. In front of the cabin, between it and the lake, there was an old-fashioned water pump rising out of the ground, with a small porcelain basin underneath the spout.
We all walked closer to the cabin.
It was so quiet. It was like the only sounds in the whole forest were the dripping of water from the trees around us, and now our shoes squishing in the mud and moss.
The air smelled wet. It felt wet too. It’s actually hard to explain. It was confusing too, because water is supposed to be wet and air is supposed to be dry. Suddenly everything was all mixed up.
A droplet hit the surface of the water in the porcelain basin under the pump, making a plunk and a small ripple. It was a good twenty feet from the closest tree, so I wondered where the drop had come from, what had made the ripple. Condensation on the pump?
“Does the lake have a name?” Liam asked.
“Moon Lake,” Mia said.
“Hey, the door’s unlocked,” Galen said.
I turned. He’d already pushed the door open.
“This far out, if someone really wants in, they’re just going to break in anyway,” Mia said. “Why not leave the door unlocked and save yourself a broken window or a kicked-in door? That’s what my dad says anyway.”
Mia and I followed Galen into the cabin.
It was what a real estate agent might call rustic or cozy, but it was mostly just a dump. Completely bare bones. Mia’s grandparents had probably built the thing themselves on weekends. And then came sixty years of decay. Now it smelled musty, like rotting wood—like a wet crawl space, not a dusty attic.
There was a small kitchen area to the left of the door with some basic cupboards, a cooking area, a sink with a drain but no running water, and a cast iron wood-burning stove.
Directly in front of us, in the main room, there was a ratty old sofa and chairs in front of a brick fireplace. Beyond that was a door to what must have been a single bedroom. To my right a ladder stretched up to what looked like a sleeping loft. Directly under the loft was the dining area with a small table and chairs.
I figured Mia and Galen would get the bedroom, but at least Liam and I would have a little bit of privacy this weekend, up in the loft.
Since the cabin had no electricity, there were no lights, just kerosene lamps and candles scattered around the room. There was no refrigerator either, but we’d brought a cooler.
I took a step forward and something crunched under my feet.
“Shit,” Mia said.
“What?” Liam said.
“No, really. Shit. On the floor. Animal shit. The mice and rats get inside, especially in the winter. My dad’s tried everything to keep them out, but nothing works.”
Sure enough, the floor was covered with these little black pellets. I hadn’t noticed them against the old dark wood of the floor. Now that I looked, I saw they were everywhere, even on the kitchen countertops.
“Um, disgusting,” Liam said.
“At least there were no raccoons or skunks,” Mia said. “You don’t wanna see what kinda mess they make.”
As I looked closer, I noticed something else in the cabin. There were spiderwebs, all over the place. Real ones, not like the fake ones you see in the movies.
In other words, our lodging was a complete dump. I was forty percent sure I was going to catch hantavirus from the mouse droppings. Plus, we had to stare at that ugly clear-cut all weekend long.
So far, things weren’t turning out like they were supposed to at all.
But Mia didn’t hesitate. She broke out a broom and mop and ammonia, and sent Galen to pound out the mattresses and the furniture cushions. Liam and I used rags to take care of the spiderwebs. They were surprisingly strong, so thick they made a little ripping noise when you tore them away. At least we didn’t see any spiders—I guess it was the wrong time of year.
The webs reminded me of the matching tattoos the others got. Their bandages were off now, revealing the little black design slowly healing on their wrists. I had a feeling we’d never go back to that tattoo parlor. I could go back on my own, get the tattoo myself, but I knew that wouldn’t be the same.
“This isn’t so bad,” Mia said, sweeping the floor.
This was one of the things I liked about Mia: she could be a brat, but not about things she didn’t have any control over, things like this.
For the next thirty minutes, we cleaned the cabin, sweeping and mopping and wiping up spiderwebs. Whenever I thought I had them all, I’d see another one.
But eventually we were done, and the cabin was clean.
Then we unloaded our bags and groceries. At least the mice hadn’t gotten into the cupboards.
By the time we were finished unpacking, the floor still wasn’t dry. I guess things take forever to dry in a rain forest. Or maybe they never dry out completely.
Mia took what looked like a walkie-talkie out of one of her bags and put it on the counter. “What’s that?” Galen asked.
“A satellite phone,” she said. “My parents made me bring i
t. There’s no cell phone reception out here, so they wanted us to have some way to call into town in case of an emergency.” She looked around in a couple of the bags. “Fuck, I forgot the marshmallows. We were coming to a cabin by a lake, how could I forget the marshmallows?” She seemed more upset about this than she had been about forgetting the map.
“Forget the marshmallows,” I said. “Forget the mouse poop. We’re here, we’re completely on our own, and we’re going to have a great weekend.” For once, I was determined to be the one looking on the bright side, to be living in the here and now.
“Damn straight,” Galen said. “Now let’s go skinny-dipping!”
4
Five minutes later, we were all down at the lake, standing on the moss above this little tiny beach of grainy sand, staring out at the water.
I couldn’t believe we were actually doing this. Skinny-dipping? With Galen and Mia? What if I got, uh, excited? I don’t know if I mentioned this before, but Galen was a pretty good-looking guy. The last thing in the world I wanted was to see him naked. I didn’t want to see anyone except Liam naked, at least not when I was naked too. I’d always been able to control myself in the locker room at school, but I’d had a few close calls, barely making it into my underwear in time.
And then there was Mia seeing me naked. I didn’t want her laughing at me, or comparing me to Liam. He and I were actually both about the same size, not massive, but nothing to be embarrassed about either. On the other hand, it was cold outside, and the water was probably cold too.
But it’s not like I could say no to skinny-dipping, not without looking like a complete idiot.
None of us had started undressing yet, and I think it had something to do with the light. It was twilight, the exact moment between day and night. It was sort of breathtaking. With everything so dark, you couldn’t make out the devastation on the other side of the lake, but you could still see the lake itself. The water lapped gently against the shore, and the fish were feeding, so everywhere you looked there was a splash, like giant raindrops. I imagined I’d somehow become miniaturized, and I was standing at the edge of a puddle at the start of a rainstorm. The universe was suddenly such a massive, awesome place, and I knew deep in my bones that I was just this tiny, completely insignificant part of it, but somehow that made it all even more amazing.
“Well?” Galen said, breaking the silence.
“This was your idea,” Mia said. “That means you go first.”
“You guys are such pussies!” Galen said, suddenly kicking off his shoes, then shucking off his shirt.
“Are we sure we want to do this?” Liam said. “It’s going to be cold.”
“Really cold,” Mia said. “I doubt there’s been a single really sunny day since winter.”
“I mean it,” Galen said. “Pussies!” At that, he yanked down his pants, boxers and all, and kicked them aside.
I was standing behind him, and I made a point not to stare. But he had the kind of ass that was impossible not to notice—round and dimpled. His back was incredible too, lean and rippled with muscles. Then there were his shoulders and arms, which were the best kind of broad, like those of a natural athlete, not the kind of a guy who is a slave to the gym and his protein supplements. His whole body was this golden brown, like the toasted marshmallows we weren’t going to be having that weekend. How was it that he didn’t have tan lines? And if there was hair on his legs, it was lighter than the stuff on his head, so his whole body looked hairless, like he’d been buffed clean. Then again, I was only seeing him from behind.
And like I said, I wasn’t staring.
I glanced over at Liam. He was not staring about as well as I was.
Galen entered the water like a skydiver leaping from a plane.
When he resurfaced a good fifteen feet from shore, he turned back around toward us, treading water. The lake was black and the light was low, so anything below his chest had disappeared down into the murk.
“It’s not that cold,” he said.
“Really?” I asked optimistically.
“No,” Mia said. “He’s so lying.” But she was already undressing.
I’m as gay as they come, but even I could see that she was just as stunning as Galen. For some reason, I didn’t expect the two of them to have such good posture. They were like the underwear models in an advertising supplement, proud and confident.
She made her own flying leap into the water, exactly like I knew she would.
And when she surfaced, she said, “Fuck, fuck, fuck!”
The water gurgled near the beach. While I’d been busy making sure not to stare at Galen, Liam had undressed and was slowly easing his way into the lake too. He was already in up to his waist, arms raised.
“Come on,” Galen said. “Just get it over with all at once.”
“Yeah, just go for it,” Mia said.
But Liam ignored them, slowly sliding the rest of the way in. “Jesus,” he said, “that’s cold!” I noticed he’d kept his glasses on.
“Hey, I bet I know why this is called Moon Lake,” Galen said.
He did a surface dive, mooning us all with his golden ass.
Mia laughed, and Liam gasped again, but I wasn’t sure if it was from the cold or Galen’s perfect ass.
Standing on the shore of that lake, I felt small again, but not because it was twilight and everything felt breathtaking. It was because I was self-conscious. Everyone else was in the lake now, and I was alone, still dressed, up on land.
I slipped off my shirt and wrestled with the button on my jeans.
Down in the water, Galen howled like a wolf, and Mia laughed again.
“No, seriously,” Galen said. “Maybe it’s werewolves. Wasn’t that stupid vampire movie set somewhere around here?”
I stepped out of my socks and pants and drifted closer to the lake, tentative, cupping myself. When I stepped into the water, it was so cold that I didn’t feel anything at all, just this dull anesthetizing ache. Then the lake sloshed up against my ankles, and I gasped too.
In the lake, Galen howled again, and Mia splashed him.
This was ironic. I’d been so worried about people seeing me naked, but now no one was even noticing me. I’d been self-conscious for nothing.
I slid into the water, halfway between Galen’s wild jump and Liam’s slow ease. I braced myself for the sting of the cold, but it never quite came.
“It’s really not that bad,” Galen said, meaning the water. “I told you guys.”
He was actually right. Now that I was all the way in, there was something about the stillness of the water at twilight that made it seem warmer than it was. There was also something about the skinny-dipping itself. The water was touching me in places I’d never been touched by anyone except Liam. It was weirdly liberating.
But Liam said, “You’re crazy!” And his teeth chattered.
Galen laughed. “Just keep moving. You’ll warm up.” Then he leaned back in the water, floating, and anything I hadn’t seen from behind, I was seeing it now—a tangle of brown hair and other body parts bobbing up from out of the darkness. Was Galen flirting with us? Had he noticed Liam and me sneaking a peek and now was giving us a show? It’s not like he’d be the first straight guy who got off on the attention of gay guys.
Liam paddled away.
“My brother used to tell me there was a Moon Lake monster,” Mia said. “I was always so fucking scared.”
“I’ll give you a Moon Lake monster,” Galen said, but rather than dunk her like I expected, his arms encircled her, pulling her close.
“How deep is the lake?” Liam asked.
Mia pushed away from Galen. “Deep enough that if you drop a reel, your dad gets really, really pissed at you.” She treaded water. “It’s not as cold as I thought it’d be, but it’s still too damn cold. I’m getting out.”
She swam for shore.
I looked at Liam. I could tell he wanted to get out too.
“Pussy!” Galen said to Mia.
“You call me that one more time,” she said, stepping up onto the beach, “and you can be damn sure you won’t be getting any this weekend. I mean, if you think a pussy is such a bad thing. . . .”
Liam snorted.
“I take it back!” Galen shouted.
As Mia dried herself with a towel, Galen followed her up out of the lake like Poseidon emerging from the sea. Their bodies were both so annoying with their toned calves and impossibly flat stomachs. Against that backdrop of ferns, they looked like Adam and Eve.
Galen shook his head like some kind of longhaired dog—“Hey!” Mia said—and naturally his hair ended up perfectly tousled. Unlike Mia, he didn’t turn away to dry himself off. No, he turned around to face Liam and me, both of us still in the lake. Then, legs spread wide, he briskly toweled his back, making absolutely no effort to cover himself. Down below his waist, he flopped and jiggled. It was kind of impossible not to feel a little inadequate, given that’s what he looked like even after a cold swim. I’d been worried about Mia comparing me to Liam.
Galen kept drying off, and he had to know Liam and I were staring. I even thought I saw him smirking. Now I knew for a fact that he was one of those straight guys who got off being ogled by gay guys.
Between Galen drying off in front of us and the lake touching me in places only Liam had ever touched me before, it was all too much. I climbed out of the water, half cupping myself again. It was definitely like those times in the locker room when I’d just barely made it into my underwear in time. But I reached my towel before anything was too obvious, and then I made a point to keep myself strategically covered.
As Galen dried himself, I spotted something on his skin. At first I thought it might be another tattoo, but no, he actually had a flaw after all—a dark mark in his armpit. It was some kind of port-wine stain, or maybe it was just a rash.