As she was panting hard, Kyouji got up from the swing and looked bothered as he frowned at Shino’s face.
“…Wh, what’s wrong?”
“Erm…are you alright? Is it okay for you to do that…”
Kyouji looked at the right hand of Shino. Unknowingly, her fist that was lightly clenched was now pointing the thumb and index fingers in the shape of a handgun.
“Ah…”
She frantically shook her hand. It’s true that this action would make anyone think of a «gun», and Shino’s heart would flutter every time. However, there’s no such feeling this time, inexplicably.
“U, un, it’s alright…maybe it was because I was angry, but it’s nothing much.”
“I see…”
Kyouji lowered his head and continued to look at Shino’s eyes. He suddenly reached his arms out and cupped Shino’s right hand. That warmth and somewhat sweaty feeling of the palms caused Shino to look down instinctively.
“Wha…what is it, Shinkawa-kun?”
“I often feel…extremely worried…Asada-san’s different from usual…Yes…if, if there’s anything I can help out with, I’ll be willing to do it. I can only cheer for you through the screen…but, if there’s anything else I can do…I…”
Shino glanced at Kyouji for an instant. That delicate face had only the eyes that were radiating emotions from within and giving off warmth and light.
“Wh…what’s this normal me…”
She couldn’t remember how she normally looked and muttered. Then, Kyouji’s hands started to exert force, and he opened his mouth to prompt,
“Asada-san’s normally so cool…always looking like nothing would faze you…you had the same treatment I had in school, but you didn’t run away from school like me…you’re so strong, so amazing. I’ve always admired Asada-san’s personality…this can be considered my dream.”
Overwhelmed by Kyouji’s pressuring presence, Shino wanted to back away, but the swing pillar behind her wouldn’t let her.
“Bu, but…I’m not strong at all. I, you know…I’ll react once I see a gun…”
“But Sinon is different.”
Kyouji stepped forward.
“She can use such a powerful weapon at will…and is be said to be one of the strongest players in GGO. I think that’s the real Asada-san. The Asada-san in the real world will definitely become up like, so you don’t have to worry…seeing you waver and angry because of that, I…I really wanted to help…”
—However, Shinkawa-san.
Looking away slightly for a while, Shino muttered deep inside.
—A long time ago, I would cry and laugh like an ordinary person. I didn’t become «the current me» on my own will.
It was definitely Shino’s wish to become as strong as the current Sinon. However, she wanted to overcome her fear of machinery, and not that she abandoned all her feelings.
Perhaps deep inside her, she still wanted to laugh and make noise with her friends like an ordinary person, which was why she helped that person in a rare out-of-character manner the moment she saw that lost beginner girl on Glockenspiel street, and why she got angry after knowing that he was a male.
Shino was grateful that Kyouji was so concerned about her, but even so, she felt that this feeling was somewhat misplaced.
—I…I, what I want…
“Asada-san…”
A soft voice suddenly rang beside Shino’s ears, causing her eyes to widen. Unknowingly, Kyouji’s arms were hugging her together with the metal pole.
Even though the empty park was already surrounded in darkness, however, there were passers-by walking on the street opposite the pedestrian path with trees that were shed bare of leaves. Right now, if anyone were to see Shino or Kyouji now, they would think that they were a couple.
On thinking about this, Shino then pushed Kyouji’s body back instinctively.
“…”
Kyouji looked at Shino with a hurt expression. She was shocked and hurriedly explained,
“So, sorry. I’m happy that you said that…you’re the only good friend I could make here, but…I don’t have that kind of feelings yet, because I can only solve my problem by fighting on…”
“…I see…”
Seeing Kyouji lower his head in a lonely manner, the girl was having a guilty feeling.
Kyouji should have known about Shino’s past—that incident. Before he refused to come to school, Endou and the rest had spread this news to the entire school, but even after knowing about that, he was still willing to be friends with her. Shouldn’t she express her feelings now? Of course, it’s not like Shino did not have that idea. She knew that she would be extremely lonely if Kyouji left her in a sad manner.
However, a corner in her subconsciousness wouldn’t let her forget about that guy, Kirito’s face. He had way too much confidence and belief in his own ability. Shino hoped to fight him so that she could go all out.
Yes—right now, Shino’s only wish was to break the black and hard shell that covered her heart and release herself from her fearful memories. To do that, she wanted to fight in the sunset wasteland and win.
“So…can you wait until then?”
She said in a really soft voice. Kyouji looked at Shino with eyes that had many different feelings, and after a while, smiled. He indicated ‘thank you’ with his lips, and Shino smiled too.
After leaving the park and saying goodbye to Kyouji, Shino hurriedly returned home and bought some mineral water and aloe vera yoghurt for dinner. She would normally try to cook a healthy balanced meal for herself, but after more than 3 hours of gaming, there would be many reasons why gamers shouldn’t put too much food in their stomach.
Kaki kaki, the girl held the bag that’s letting out that sound, rushed up the stairs, stepped into her house, hurriedly put the electronic lock on, went through the kitchen, arrived at the 6mat room inside and glanced at the clock on the wall.
It would be a while before the finals of BoB start, 8.30pm, but Shino wanted to log in early and spend time to gather equipment, ammunition, and allow her to concentrate.
She quickly took off the thick denim jumper skirt and the cotton shirt underneath, hung them on the hanger, and then took off her underwear on top and threw it into a basket at a corner. She curled her body because the cold air was at the floor as she changed into a trainer and shorts to make herself more comfortable.
After adjusting the air conditioner so that the air was not too hot, and switching on the humidifier, Shino took a deep breath and sat down on the bed. She took out the PET bottle from the plastic bag, opened the cap and took a sip.
The sensor interrupt function of the AmuSphere could disrupt 99% of all the functions when diving in. However, Shino managed to learn many ways to allow for a comfortable gaming environment. Eating less before diving and going to the toilet are things that are overemphasized. Also, one has to note the temperature, humidity, and also wear clothes that didn’t burden her. She once logged in during summer break after drinking lots of ice water, and felt immense stomach pain in the middle of a battle before getting interrupted by the AmuSphere that detected that something was wrong. Of course, once her stomachache was alright and when she tried to connect again, her character was already dead and respawned back onto the street.
Hardcore VRMMO gamers who had lots of money would seek complete sensory interruption and enter this place called an «isolation tank». Nowadays, the high-class internet cafés that also act as relaxation facilities would start to have this tank, and Kyouji had invited Shino over to this kind of shop a month ago.
The room was for single-person use. After bathing inside the bathroom that’s available in the room, the user will be completely naked and lie inside a capsule that takes up half the space of the room. The inside of the capsule was unexpectedly spacious, a viscous liquid that was properly adjusted, 40cm deep.
On lying inside, the body will float up, and the user won’t feel the pillow that’s supporting the neck. Once the user
wears the AmuSphere that’s hanging on the inside of the capsule and closes it, the tank will be immediately surrounded by complete darkness and silence.
Actually, that floating feeling inside that space was already a rather interesting experience, but as she agreed to meet Kyouji in GGO, Shino entered the VR space.
On logging in, the information processed to the five senses from the virtual world was unusually clear. Kyouji said this was because the body senses have reached the minimum, and thus, there wasn’t any sounds made from the «sensor interruption leak» at all. Ignoring this application, that sort of feeling where she could even hear the enemy’s soles stepping on sand showed its worth to her.
However, she felt an indescribable feeling of anxiety that couldn’t be expressed in words.
Or rather, it’s more like she was worried about her body once she got removed away from the real world. Once she dived into the VR world, she would be lying on the bed in the real world like a doll, and this anxiety that’s brought about by this fact would be enhanced by the capsule.
Of course, as compared to the «Devil Machine» NERvGear, the safety measures on AmuSphere was way too much. It not only prevents the sensor interruption from working—which was why a capsule was needed—but also even the sound, light, vibration and other stimulants to activate easily as past of the safety system and bring the user back to reality.
Even so, the body that dived in was completely defenseless. In a certain sense, this would be rather similar to sleep, but Shino couldn’t shake off the stinging pain on her neck when she logged in through the isolation capsule. In the end, she made a conclusion—her small little room was the safest place in the world where she could log in safely even though there would be some noise from outside.
Shino pondered as the spoon in her hand continued to mouth. The yoghurt was then eaten completely. After putting container into the sink and washing it, she threw it into the recycling bag. She then went to the bathroom to brush her teeth, use the toilet, wash her hands and face before returning back to the room.
“—Okay!”
Pitan. She slapped her cheeks and laid down on the bed. Her handphone was already switched to silent mode, and the door and aluminum windows were completely locked. She finished her homework that’s to be handed in on Monday during the day, and all the trivial things she should worry about in the real world should be completely dealth with.
She put on the AmuSphere and pressed the switch to turn off the lights. At this moment, the face of the player she thought of beating continued to appear on the ceiling that’s gradually turning darker before disappearing.
Finally, what appeared in front of her was a swordsman of light who had glamorous black hair and fresh red lips—Kirito. His left hand was wielding the handgun, and the photon sword was in his right hand as it was kept down. He was giving a smile of contempt as he looked straight at Shino.
The will to fight was immediately lit inside Shino as this guy could be the strongest enemy she could find in the vast killing wilderness. He could help Shino break that power of the past, and in a certain sense—he was her last hope.
I will fight him with all I got, and I’ll win.
Taking a deep breath and exhaling, Shino closed her eyes and got ready to utter the keyword that would shift her soul. The next moment, the room clearly resounded with her rather strong-willed voice.
“LINK START!!”
The horizontal gravity the body felt suddenly disappeared, and a somewhat light floating sense replaced it.
Next, the sky and ground seem to rotate about 90 degrees. Sinon’s toes touched the hard floor like a soft slide, and only opened her eyes once the senses of the fake body was completely aligned.
First, what appeared in front of her eyes was a large neon red hologram that was flying as it dragged its tail through the night sky that had no stars. The red words ‘Bullet of Bullets 3’ were flashing on the tower.
Sinon appeared at the middle of the north end of Glockenspiel street, the plaza in front of the presidential complex. Normally, this would be a place that rarely had people around, but today, this place is full of numerous players, and each of them were holding food and drinks and partying about. Actually, this was to be expected. Now, the betting pool for the upcoming BoB finals began, and more than half the money that existed in GGO was gathered in this plaza.
The payout rate was shown on the hologram in the air, and the bookmakers who were dressed in a rather splendid manner—what’s scary was that they weren’t players, but «official bookmaker NPC» that were created by the operating company—and information brokers who were selling suspicious information were swaming about. Sinon suddenly remembered about something and went near a bookmaker NPC, and then looked up at the window, only to find that her odds payout were rather high. This should be because of how she lost yesterday. Thinking about this, she looked for Kirito’s name, only to find that he was one of those who had a high payout as well.
Fu, Sinon snorted and thought of wanting to bet her entire fortune on herself. But after thinking about how this would wear off her main objective, the girl turned to leave the crowd. As her appearance was known by all, and as a regular in the BoB finals, there were many looks from all over as they watched her leave. However, nobody had the courage to approach her for everyone knew that Sinon was «a wildcat-type girl who’ll take action mercilessly once she finds someone to be an enemy».
She wanted to enter the dome waiting area to gather her concentration, and thus moved towards the presidential tower. After walking for a while, someone suddenly called her by her name from behind.
“Sinon!”
There was only one player in the world of GGO who would call her that way. The moment she turned around, she saw Shinkawa Kyouji, who she left several minutes ago in the real world, controlling his avatar «Spiegel» as he waved his hand at her and ran over. A tall and skinny M model avatar that had city clothes on seemed to be slightly red from excitement.
“Sinon, why were you so slow? I was worried about you—what’s wrong?”
Spiegel felt weird after seeing that Sinon had a smile on her face.
“It’s nothing. It’s just that I found it amazing that I could immediately meet someone in a game after having just met that person in real life.”
“…I’d say, I’m not so cool looking in the real world as I am in the virtual world. What about you? What are your chances of winning? Do you have some tactics?”
“If I have to put my chances of winning…I can only say that I’ll do my best. Basically, it’ll be to search out the enemy continuously, snipe and move.”
“That’s true, that’s true. But…I believe that Sinon will definitely win.”
“Un, thanks. What do you intend to do next?”
“Well…I can only watch the live feed in a certain hotel…”
“Okay, once it’s over, I’ll meet you at the hotel. Are we going to celebrate for me, or are you going to drink some wine with me to sober up.”
Sinon again smiled as she said this, and Spiegel again looked down before looking up again. He suddenly grabbed Sinon’s right arm and dragged her into a corner of the plaza. Spiegel didn’t even care whether any other players could see them as he quickly spun his head around to look at the rather nervous looking Sinon, who could only blink her eyes.
“Sinon…no, Asada-san.”
Spiegel should have realized how rude it is to call others by their real names in VRMMO, so this really shocked Sinon.
“Wha…what…?”
“Can I trust your words just now?”
“My words just now…”
“You said that you want me to wait, right…? Asada-san, you said that after you determined your own ability, you and me…”
“Why, why are you saying that out of a sudden!?”
Feeling her cheeks burning up, Sinon hid her face inside the muffler, but Spiegel stepped forward and again grabbed Sinon’s right hand.
“I…I, I really like A
sada-san…”
“Sorry, can you please don’t mention this now?”
After saying that in a slightly stern mode, Sinon shook her head.
“I have to concentrate on this tournament now…I have to fight with all I got to have a chance of winning…”
“…I see, you’re right…”
Spiegel let his hand go.
“But I, I’ll trust you. I’ll believe, and wait for you.”
“U, un. …then, I, I think it’s time to get ready…got to go.”
Sinon would probably enter the tournament with a wavering heart if she continued to talk with Spiegel, and so she backed away.
“Do your best. I’ll cheer for you.”
She nodded her head at Spiegel, whose voice was full of enthusiasm, and gave a stiff smile before leaving. During the time she exited the dark corner of the building and quickly headed towards the entrance of the presidential estate, Sinon felt those stares that seemed to burn her back.
After passing through the glass entrance and arriving at the inside of the building that had very few people, the girl finally relaxed her shoulders.
Thinking whether her attitude made him misunderstand, she leaned on the stone pillar.
Kyouji’s affections for her were expressed blatantly, but to be honest, it’s already tough for her to handle her own problems.
Sinon couldn’t remember how her deceased father looked at all. To her, the male face she had the biggest impression on was the criminal who robbed the post office that day. Once trouble happened, her phobia would work up, and that person’s face would appear in her head. That seemingly endless depth in the heinous express seemed to be hiding in the darkness around Sinon, looking at her.
As for getting a boyfriend like the other girls, chit-chatting on the phone, going out on weekends, these things weren’t things that she never thought of before. However, if she went out with Kyouji like this, one day, she may see «those eyes» in him. This was what she was most afraid of.
If the trigger to her phobia wasn’t just «gun», but that she’ll feel scared on seeing a «man»—it’ll be extremely tough for her to continue surviving.