He has asked me not to tell the others about our conversations until he has a plan. He thinks I am the only one who has realised that there is a possibility of escape.
Day 64
This morning Miriam got permission from the Commander to train me as a second medical orderly. After he’d agreed she came and saw me. She was a nurse before the cold started and says she needs help since she’s the only one on the fort with any medical background. That’s why she was in charge of the dressing station and treating the wounded.
I talked to James before accepting but he thinks it would be a good thing. It will allow me more access inside the camp. We will need as much inside knowledge as possible to help in planning our escape. This job will give me an opportunity to gain more of that knowledge. In any case we need more medical experience in our group.
Day 70
I have been working with Miriam for a week. She has shown me basic wound care and I’ve also got a basic anatomy book to read. As well as wounds there are accidents that members of the fort get when foraging.
Reconnaissance groups from our side have found that the fort that attacked us has been ransacked. We don’t know if they were picked off by someone else or if their attack on us was a last resort but their building has been burned and all their stores and transport have gone.
Miriam and I went over to see if there were any medical stores left. We found a couple of dead bodies. One was a child of about twelve. She was more than half-starved.
Though we don’t know what happened to them a second attack looks unlikely, which should mean that we are safe to concentrate on collecting stores for the fort before winter. Lorries are going out twice a day as we forage further out than we could before.
Day 73
Miriam shook me awake in the middle of the night. ‘Come quick,’ she said. ‘We’re needed on the main gate.’ We ran across the courtyard and round to the military part of the compound. In the merciless brilliance of the emergency arc lights for the gates was a sick boy of about fourteen. He could hardly stand and was slumped against the outer cordon of wire. Between the inner and outer gates, an armed soldier and the Commander were watching him. We were told to join them and the guards let us through the outer gate.
Closer up, we could see black swellings on the boy’s face. His eyes were bloodshot. He was softly saying over and over again, ‘Water… help,’ with a voice that wheezed as it whispered. He coughed occasionally and when he coughed, blood dribbled down his chin. The Commander turned to Miriam.
‘What is it?’
‘I’ve never seen it before,’ she said, ‘but it looks like an infection, probably in the lungs.’
‘Can we do anything for him?’ The Commander was cool. Miriam looked at the boy and then back to the Commander.
‘No, I don’t think so Commander.’
‘Are you sure?’ the Commander asked again in a way that seemed to hope that there might be a way to treat the boy. Miriam looked at me and there were tears in her eyes.
‘He may even be an infection risk just standing there,’ she said.
‘That’s what I thought. Sergeant.’ The soldier levelled his rifle.
The first bullet didn’t kill the boy outright. He staggered and started to fall to his knees, clinging to the wire. All he could manage was one wheezed word, ‘Please….’ which was silenced by a second shot. When he was still, they opened the outer gate, poured petrol on the body and incinerated it where it lay. Miriam and I turned away and helped one another through the inner gate.
I came back here and tried to go back to sleep, but all I could see behind my eyelids was the picture of that boy, so I got up to write this.
Day 74
I had not appreciated the choices that survival in a dying world would require. I had thought that since we were right, that would be enough. We could survive with our humanity intact because of our morality. Our cause and beliefs were all that we needed. I was wrong. At the first test of those beliefs, beliefs about caring and community, I was willing to see the boy at the gate shot down. We killed him to protect ourselves. It is no comfort to imagine what terror the infection he carried would have produced inside the fort. It is no comfort to know that the choice Miriam and I made was necessary. We did it without knowing anything of his story. Who was his father or mother; where were his brothers or sisters? How many more necessary, inhuman choices will I or others make before anything is reborn out of this chaos?
Day 77
Today has been devoted to my new duties as a nurse. Miriam and I have been practising bandages and slings. We had great fun in tying each other up. She has no children but is interested in how my two have adapted to living in the fort. ‘Not bad,’ I said and it is true. At first they were unhappy but they have found tasks in the Winter’s Hill group and we have returned to the pattern of teaching we had before we left the farm. As our freedom round the fort has grown, so the children have become more useful.
Just as Miriam and I were talking, Charlie came running in, asking to go to the gate because Bill was on guard. I gave him permission but I’m very wary of him getting too wrapped up in the life of a soldier. As he ran off, I caught Miriam looking at me.
‘You don’t like him near the soldiers do you?’
‘No,’ I said as flatly as I could.
‘Bill’s a good man you know, reliable and kind. He likes you. He’s quizzed me about what you might think of him.’ I was revolted at the thought. ‘You don’t like him?’ she persisted.
‘It’s not that I don’t like him but I couldn’t… I couldn’t…’
‘You couldn’t think of another partner just yet?’
‘Perhaps it’s more than that. I’m not sure I will ever be able to think of another.’ I was surprised I had been so frank so easily but she nodded.
‘It’s like that for me too.’ We return to splints for fractures of the femur.
Day 78
A flurry of secret notes has started again between us and the men. More freedom of movement has meant that we haven’t had to pass notes for some time but what we have now started to discuss has forced us back into secrecy.
It is not only me who has been able to hunt round and put two and two together. Our ability to escape occurred to Naomi as well. As a result she went to where she had found our wagon to have a better look. Our clothes and some other things like our seeds are still there. She has made what she has found common knowledge and publicly suggested we should think about escape. As a result James decided to make public what he was thinking.
Day 79
Views on what we would need to escape have started to be exchanged. A majority think transport is our biggest problem. They argue that we stood some chance of feeding our old horse as we went along, though what would have happened to him if we had had to travel in the winter they do not discuss. But there are no pack animals in the fort to replace him and none of us have seen any when foraging. Some think we could take a lorry but others have pointed out the difficulties finding fuel. Some have said that it would at least get us far away quickly and carry enough for us to find a place to hole up for the winter away from the city. Others think it would attract too much attention and might get us attacked.
After transport comes food; where to get enough? Could we steal from the fort stores bit by bit until we had enough? Could we lay aside enough in secret from our foraging to build a store? Neither seems possible. Food is closely watched and guarded.
Day 86
This evening, over a rare communal meal of the whole of the group we started to talk over these problems. But we still could not agree. Finally, Naomi slammed down her plate and stormed out. I tried to go after her but James stopped me. ‘She needs some space,’ he said. I returned to eating and in about thirty minutes she was back dragging a heavy bundle behind her; our winter clothes from the wagon. ‘There,’ she said. ‘There’s something done! There’s one problem solved.’
Day 91
Naomi’s gesture cha
nged the way we thought about leaving. It’s impossible became lets do it and we have worked away at collecting what we can. We started to conceal things when foraging which would be useful and we got away with it. We found a place to hide the clothes and soon added to it tins of meat, dried survival meals, water-sterilising tablets, salt for preserving fresh meat. Our doubts have been suspended in the activity and thrill of collecting what we will need.
My work with Miriam continued. She talked to the Commander and suggested that we set up an infirmary because she has been haunted by the image of the plague in the boy. She told the Commander that an infirmary would need more drugs than we have: antibiotics, anti-virals and phagocitics. Miriam would like to give everyone a tetanus injection as well. We are also short of bandages and morphine. She told him we need a functioning refrigerator for storage and more equipment such as instruments and a small surgical table. She proposed a raid on a hospital and the Commander agreed, provided she and I can come up with a workable plan of how to do it.
Day 93
We are ready. Initially we had two alternative targets. The nearest hospital was the most dangerous, the one in the centre of the main city. The alternative was the hospital in a neighbouring town. As Miriam and I discussed the choice it seemed to us that our chances of finding a useful store of equipment and drugs were best at the central hospital and therefore worth the risk. The thing that finally swung our choice was that Miriam had worked in that hospital and knew her way round it. As to equipment and transport we proposed that we take a pickup with a machine-gun mounted on the roof. We will rely on hiding and speed rather than pure brute force if we run into trouble. I will drive, Miriam will map-read and Bill will come to ride shotgun. He was pleased to be asked.
Day 95
We set off early this morning and drove out of the city in a northeast loop into the countryside. This was so as to approach the city centre from the east and avoid any forts in the suburbs. The morning was clear and once out into the country I felt free and happy. I had not realised how the fort made me feel cooped up. There were the occasional birds and red, yellow and ochre leaves were still on many trees. We circled around through small villages. We met some groups of people but they all ran for it as soon as they saw the gun. When we were about ten kilometres east of the town we came back towards the city and drove up a hill Miriam knew from which we could get the best look at possible routes to the city centre.
Miriam laid our map out on the bonnet of the pickup. ‘The hospital is there near to the university. There is a main road that comes in here.’ She pointed out across the view of the city, tying the picture of the map to the details of the view we could see. ‘That line there, north of those tall flats, is the elevated section of road that used to be part of the inner ring. It should be the quickest way in.’
‘Quickest and the one with least cover,’ said Bill. ‘They’ll be no chance it’s free of barricades.’
‘Can we follow its line without using it?’ I asked.
‘Maybe,’ said Miriam, ‘but the roads around it twist and turn and are visible from tall buildings.’
‘So we run the risk of turning into an ambush on the side roads and being fired on from above,’ said Bill. We went on discussing the problem but every solution had drawbacks. Picking our way through quietly, street by back-street, was possible some of the way but near the centre the office blocks and flats could came back into play as firing platforms. No matter how we thought about it, when we got into the city centre, it was plain there wouldn’t be much cover. Finally, Bill settled the matter. ‘Well I’m in favour of a quick dash at the end,’ he said. So we reached a compromise, we will use back-streets until we reach the ring road then use our speed to get right into the city centre as quick as we can. We’ll just have to accept the risk of running into a barricade on the ring road and cope as best we can.
Day 96
We started before dawn today. The morning air was cold on our faces. It reminded me of autumn mornings long ago when I was an innocent girl in a city just like this one. The sun rose in a lurid mixture of purple and brown, its colours affected by the pollution held in by the buildings. The sun only shone brightly when it was about 20° above the horizon.
We reached the ring road without trouble and hid the pickup under one of its concrete supports. Then we went on a careful reconnaissance of the roadway. The surface was good. The road went up an incline from where we were to a flatter section that curved away from us. There was debris and a few burnt-out cars whose metal surfaces, exposed by the flames, were red with crusted rust. There was nothing that looked like an organised barricade. ‘Are we up for it then?’ said Bill. Miriam and I nodded.
We went back to the pickup. Bill climbed into the seat attached to the machine-gun. I climbed into the driver’s seat and Miriam arranged the map on her lap. We strapped ourselves in. ‘Ready,’ I called to Bill. He hammered on the roof in response. ‘Ready?’ I said to Miriam. She looked at me; frightened but prepared. I put my hand on hers and squeezed it. ‘Ready.’ The engine started and I moved the pickup out from our hiding place.
There was a short run to the point where the raised road started. I swung the pickup round the end barriers and on to the road. I accelerated and we got to the flat part of the road doing about sixty. Bill shouted for the sheer joy of the race. It was like that for about two miles, clear and easy to see. Then the road started to fall and I couldn’t see what was in front of us. We slowed at the top of a down-slope which disappeared under an overpass. ‘There must be some pollution trapped down there,’ said Miriam. ‘The exit to the hospital should be no more than half a mile beyond this bit.’ I put on the lights and accelerated. There was a twist to the right and then another to the left and the road began to rise again. The gloom thinned and I thought I could see sunlight up ahead.
The barricade was neatly built, moulded into the structure of a bridge above the road. I jammed on the brakes, the pickup skidded left. I heard the grind of the machine-gun mounting as Bill swung it round. He fired a sustained burst at the barricade. From my side windows I saw pieces of metal fly up and fistfuls of dust explode from the bridge concrete. For a fraction of a second I thought I saw a person with a rifle leaning across the top of the barricade but immediately the body was flung backwards as a machine-gun round hit it. I rammed the pickup into reverse, let the clutch out too quickly and stalled the engine. ‘For Christ’s sake, get us out of here,’ screamed Bill…
Chapter 11
After Anya had gone, Tobias came back into the ward. Discreetly he cleared up what was left of the meal and persuaded one of the attendants to return it to the kitchens. That done, he came and sat on the end of Francesca’s bed. She was curled up with her back to him, head buried in the covers.
‘Do you want to talk about it?’
A muffled voice replied. ‘I don’t know. Will it do any good?’
‘It might,’ he said. ‘Perhaps not now but it will tomorrow or the next day. Take your time.’
Francesca unwound herself from the sheets and sat up. ‘Now’s as good a time as any I suppose. She’s been having an affair with Jonathan.’
Tobias shot a glance up the ward but they were alone. ‘I wouldn’t say that too loudly if I were you.’
‘Why not? I ought to tell the Council right now. Why not get the whole thing out into the open? Someone else will do it even if I don’t.’
‘That’s true but you will feel guilty if you’re the one that tells the Council. Believe me, you’ll feel worse if you betray her.’
‘And what do you know about betraying someone?’
‘More than I would care to admit,’ he said. ‘You heard my conversation with Sylvia.’
She looked surprised.
‘You’re too tall to hide easily and I’ve a very sharp instinct about being watched. Sometimes my life depends on it. You ask what I know about betrayal; well, I betrayed Lucia and my child.’
‘But they forced you to go, tied you up in y
our boat, set you adrift.’
‘Yes, but once I was free I could have come back for them. We could have gone away together.’
‘Why didn’t you?’
‘As I said, I betrayed them. I put my pride before my love and sailed away. I persuaded myself that they’d be better off without me. I’ve regretted it ever since. Now I know that it killed the person I loved more than any other in my life and means my daughter is hidden from me. People persuade themselves of all sorts of things when they have to or when they think they’ve got a very good reason for doing something cruel.’
‘You were a Gatherer?’
‘Yes. I even had a partner who I loved and who loved me.’
‘So how did you go from having a partner to having a baby with Lucia?’
‘That’s a long story and it’s not going to help you.’
‘Please tell me. It might explain something of why Anya did it.’
He frowned and sighed. ‘Alright, but I’m still not convinced it will really help. You see I came from the outside. I found this place after I ran away from a city.’
She looked puzzled. ‘The cities were places built to hold millions of people,’ he said. ‘But now what’s left of the people are dying out. They live off what’s left in the ruins and pretty soon they’ll all have starved. I was one of them, a scavenger. They don’t make any stable relationships and disputes are settled by violence.
‘When I got here it was like heaven. Even better, my knowledge was useful. I fell for my partner mostly because he was the first person to show me love but when I noticed Lucia, well, she took my fancy and there was still sufficient of the scavenger in me to make me take her.’
‘Are you saying the only place with any future is Heron Fleet?’
‘No. You’re right that in the end the only significant groups of people will survive in places like Heron Fleet where they grow their own food, but Heron Fleet is not the only place that does that.’
Francesca was amazed. ‘You mean there are others communities like us?’